Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
For me, I think it started when I finished watching "Beauty and the Beast" for the first time. One of those animated Disney classics that just about everybody my age watched, it provided viewers with a cheery, uplifting, though decidedly absurd message:
Appearance doesn't matter.
But even then, I knew something was off. I was only 13 and just starting to formulate that vague, hazy interest in girls all boys start to feel during the tween years. I knew nothing about the opposite sex - they may as well have been a different species - but I knew I sorta liked them, even if I wasn't sure why. Therefore, I was hardly schooled in the finer details or really, even the basics, of relationships, dating, attraction, sex, etc.
And yet, as I said, I knew something was amiss with that message. Maybe it was because in this particular case, we really were talking about two different species; i.e., Belle, the human female, and Beast, the very non-human male. So yeah, from a literal standpoint, that threw me a little, as I think it did every tween boy (and girl) who watched that movie. But beyond that, I knew there was a deeper meaning and it wasn't exactly ambiguous; if anything, it was right in our face from start to finish.
Maybe it's no coincidence that around the start of the '90s, just after we'd exited the aptly named "Me Decade" where excess and indulging our basest desires were deified, the "appearance doesn't matter" theme began to dominate. We started seeing movies and TV shows, listening to music, and reading books about how being a shallow person was, for lack of a more specific term, bad. Hell, it was even being taught in schools, though it was admittedly subtler.
Here's the thing: The entire time we were getting this drilled into our skulls, every last one of us, boys and girls of all shapes and sizes from all kinds of different backgrounds, knew at least part of the message was bullshit. Again, at that age, we couldn't really explain why we knew it was bullshit, but we just felt that it was. And maybe that's the key word here: Felt. It's because despite what we were seeing and hearing every second of every day, that everyone has essentially the same qualities as humans and "looks don't matter," we were sensing something in our bodies that directly contradicted the theory.
It's very nice. Very Disney-esque, as I like to call it. And it is indeed important to remind people that there is a human being beneath every face and body. However, I have to say, most of us with a brain didn't need the constant lectures...we already knew this. But we were tweens or teens; our bodies were just about ready to go into hyperdrive in terms of hormones and we felt something happening to us when we looked at certain people. Which people? Well, gee, the pretty people. Yes, there's a reason they were popular and why they got so much attention. Blame it on the hormones or whatever but the point is, "Beauty and the Beast" is, at least in part, inherently flawed.
Now, as the message has only intensified over the years, we've got people actually SHAMING individuals for caring about looks. Not merely other people's looks but our OWN. I believe this "it doesn't matter what you look like" has contributed to the shabbiness of America in general, this depressing trend of wearing pajamas in public and not even bothering to comb your hair or take a shower before going out. "Hey, that's just me, I'm expressing myself, and it shouldn't matter what I look like!" More bullshit. You're not expressing yourself; you're just woefully lazy. And yeah, it does matter. It always has and always will.
Don't ever feel guilty for being drawn to attractive individuals. At the same time, bear in mind that pretty, while not entirely subjective, is at least mostly subjective. So if you find a certain type of girl attractive and a friend of yours can't stand that type, fine. That's completely normal and neither should feel ashamed for their preferences. Why are we tossing dirty looks at pretty couples? I've actually seen this in public. The assumption is that the pretty people are shallow, devoid of warmth or kindness or, even worse, a brain. Yes, it makes the less attractive feel better about themselves if they can convince themselves that the hot people are dumb. Sadly, it isn't always true.
If there's a girl over there I think is good-looking, don't call me shallow because I think she's good-looking and because every other guy in the place feels the same way. Don't call me shallow because you're assuming it's all I care about. It isn't; the initial discussion will tell me a lot and I really don't care how hot she is, if we don't click on a number of a different critical points, I'm out. Granted, younger guys are more likely to be shallow, more likely to simply gravitate toward the hotties for no other reason than their looks, but...well, we can blame hormones again, or just say, "guys are guys." And before you say anything, yes, girls do the same thing, or they would, if they approached guys more often.
I'm not going to feel guilty for being attracted to what many see as the quintessential pretty woman. Women, same goes for you. Don't let guys call you sluts or whores or shallow bimbos for being interested in hot guys. This is chemical; it's biological; it's natural for humans to be sexually attracted to healthy-looking individuals. It's a procreation thing, I promise. It's not a statement or a reflection of personality. It's merely part of nature and nobody should ever feel guilty for thinking this-
Or this-
Is hot.
Yeah, a lot of people will say they're pretty. A lot of people won't. But regardless of personal preference, you're never allowed to shame someone for liking individuals they find attractive. Don't be that person who accuses a friend of being shallow and stupid for wanting to talk to the hottie in the room. You can accuse them of that if this friend proceeds to have a sexual relationship with someone who is certainly not right for them, and with whom they have nothing in common. Because then it really is all about looks and sex. Okay, that's shallow. But don't jump to conclusions based on a look and an initial approach because that simply isn't fair.
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