Will he break up with me because we had sex before marriage?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years and just had a sex for the first time. Since then we have gotten even closer, and he has shared with me that now he is so happy because he feels a bond and very close to me. This was big because before, we were always super scared and nervous around each other and now we just feel more connected. But I am a little worried, a lot of people are telling me he is going to break up with me since we had sex.

he has already picked out the ring, and a couple days after we did it even told me his marriage plans (we have been talking about it for weeks now) but now I’m scared. Will he break up with me because we had sex before marriage?

[Anonymous]

I can’t know for sure, but it sounds to me like he’s very much committed to you and having sex was an expression of his commitment and feelings.


Some people think that being a virgin or withholding sex from a partner makes you more valuable. In their eyes having sex would lower your worth. I believe these ideas date back to 1st century times, when a woman needed to be pure so her father could give her away to another man which would increase his wealth of money, resources and land etc. If a woman had sex before marriage she was seen as damaged goods, a package that had already been opened.


So many people say things that go right back to that purity culture, they mean well but I think they are ultimately undermining women’s value, and women’s ability to make their own choices.


I don’t think you’ve diminished your value, sounds to me like you’re with someone who cares about you and wants to share meaningful time with you however they can. (Side note, some people say guys only want one thing, that’s not true for me and I know countless guys that’s not true for either) I don’t know who you’re with, but if he’s proven to be a genuine, open, caring person, i think trusting would be a safe risk to take. Hope it goes well moving forward, best of luck

[Anonymous]

Well it is possible. If you are a Christian and I don't know that you are. But I can tell you the Bible says not to have sex before you are married. If you both have said your vows under God then it doesn't matter you are married in Gods eyes even if it is not on paper.

Though if that is not the case and you aren't married. Then as long as you both repent for it and wait a while.

He may have been using you for sex I have no idea that is possible. A relationship is more then just having sex

[Texasgal95]

To be honest he would’ve already broke up with you immediately after having sex. Don’t worry about it or if you’re concerned just sit down and talk with him about how you’re feeling

[WhitneySnow]

I don’t think he will. I think he really loves you.

[Asker]

Thanks :)

[WhitneySnow]

You’re welcome 😊

[Sour-rose]

Probably... or probably not. Who know's what them people say, they could be full of shit. The future an interesting thing to meet.

[Berethor]

You already given him everything, now you can only hope that he would make an honest woman.

[CelineBV]

This sucks... that the only valuable for us is the vagina to create babies. Seems superficial. That's the same as if a woman saying she's only marrying you for the money but not you as a person.

[Berethor]

What else you expect him to marry for? and vagina is part of you, unlike money.

en.wiktionary.org/.../why_buy_the_cow_when_you_can_get_the_milk_for_free

[CelineBV]

So basically marriage is just a transaction and he's only marrying my vagina (I'm a commodity) but not me as a person. So basically besides being a virgin, he doesn't know anyone else about me nor my personal life, my family, my likes, my other goals besides making babies, etc. How does he know that just because I'm a virgin I'm automatically a good person?

[CelineBV]

some girls (including virgins too) marry a guy for his wealth and stability. That means it's for his money.

[Berethor]

Many guys don't gonna might if you tell them that you marry them because her penis and/or seed, so I don't see what it so bad if a guy marry you because of your vagina and/or womb. Being a virgin actually says a lot about personality, a virgin girl is not a ho, so yea she likely a good person overall.

[Berethor]

I mean don't gonna mind.

[CelineBV]

Then he's blind if he thinks that's the only single thing that makes a good girl. I'm saying this because I've known 2 virgin girls that were still golddiggers and they didn't love the guy. They were just in love with the idea of marrying as a virgin and getting a wealthy guy as an exchange.

[CelineBV]

While I don't doubt it's good she's keeping it till marriage, but the guy should corroborate that with other traits too and see for himself if she's a golddigger in return?

[Berethor]

They might not mind her being a golddigger as long as she is virgin, virgins are valuable.

[CelineBV]

I would be worried if I was one of those guys' mother. I wouldn't want someone using him for money and then possibly ruining him during a divorce.

[Berethor]

Yea, but she is virgin, she is likely to get attached to him even if she married for money.

[DonkeyDan]

No of course he isn't just because you had sex, you're 2 years into this relationship, ignore the naysayers are the only being negative.

[TacosRAwesome]

If he does, he's trash.

[Sparkie460]

I have a feeling he is going to stay with you. He waited 2 years to have sex with you and now he's talking marriage. I really doubt he's going anywhere

[vald9inches]

If he does break up with you then he was not worth marrying trust me

[RebeccaSJ]

He might. If he does, find another guy.

[Twalli]

Very few guys will fuck and flee. If you have sex extremely early on, before having a good bond (first few weeks/months) the likliehood of him leaving is higher because he may have just been looking for sex. Since you waited he obviously wants you and not just sex. Don't worry he'll leave because most guys won't wait 2 years if they're just aiming for sex.

[tbradley]

i think you will be fine good luck and hope everything works out

[Anonymous]

No, most likely not

[Anonymous]

Why would he? He had sex too, so how can he hold it against you?

[Asker]

Well more like people say he will start losing interest in me now… and he hasn’t shown that but I don't know just worried about it.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh I see. He won’t lose interest. He waited 2 years for sex, so that shows he is committed to you. If anything, getting regular sex from you will probably keep him closer to you.