Will I ever be loved… (from an 18y girl)

Will I ever be loved… (from an 18y girl)

Hi,

I’ve never had a boyfriend in my whole life. I’m 18, I’m not scared of the fact that I’ve never had a boyfriend…more that I’ve never being loved. Nobody ever flirted with me or asked me to be their girlfriend and I promise you I’m sure I’m not the ugliest girl of the world. The worst is that I’m surrounded by people whose always have boyfriends, or get flirted (politely of course). The fact is that they always love my sister, she’s pretty, a little bitchy, sociable, kind of a princess personality (always talking loud, dress really well, did beauty competitions…) and boys LOVE this.
I even wonder if someone will love me one day or if I’ll die alone, virgin with cats.
My mom says that it’s great because I can focus on my studies and I agree but I feel really lonely. My parents don’t really show their love ( I know they love us they just don’t know how to show it) so I never grew up in a family where we tell each other that we are pretty, we never hugged (I’m not a touchy person tho), never too much compliments…

I had a hard childhood too…I was a mob child (I was always talking, I was curious about everything, jogging bare foot everywhere and told everything I thought.) but my parents where tired and I needed to move much, yeah I wasn’t a super calm child (I did some little bullshit, like baking cake and letting some flour in the kitchen, playing with cornflour, not wanting to do my homework…) so often my parents beaten me off (?), it wasn’t really violent they were just slapping me, giving me cold shower, grabbing me by my hair, spanking me…it wasn’t really violent I know some people live worse and that my parents were just tired and overwhelmed. But it was almost every day, screaming, crying slapping….It wasn’t their fault I swear I wasn’t an easy child. But it didn’t help at all…

And I feel like I need someone who hugs me telling me that he loves me, that I’m beautiful and that I worth love.
I mean my sister always had boyfriends, she lost her virginity with a boy that she loved (and she was two years younger than me today…). In 9/10th grade she was french kissing a boy ! (She’s older than me) and I’ve never kissed anyone, not even a peck. (I’m in college)

I know next year I’ll not have a boyfriend because it’s a really important year in my studies but I wonder if boys really want to date a 19/20/21 year old and a virgin, who never had a boyfriend ever.

I even thought giving my virginity to a porn star on Twitter because at least it would have been done.
I feel really lonely and it’s worse seeing people being loved.
Do I even worth/ deserve love ?
While writing this I maybe think I’m not that great.

(sorry for all the grammatical/vocabulary mistakes…English is not my mother language)

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Most likely. You've got your whole life ahead of you. My first girlfriend was a married woman when I was about to turn 25! She was about to turn 19 and, after our fling, she said she was only using me to make her hubby jealous! My next two, over the next 9 years, were also married (I can't seem to attract single girls!!). After a few months, the 2nd went back to her hubby, then left him, then went back to him and, years later when he died, she went with another guy that looked just like him, left him and then came back to me but, by then, I just didn't feel that way about her anymore. I tried but, it just didn't work.
    Number 3 looked as though she was a keeper. She even said, "yes" when I asked her marry me! A few weeks later, she claimed she never said "yes"! After another 8 years together, I found out she'd been cheating on me the last 2 years! Except for that week or two where number 2 came back to me about 5 years ago, I haven't had anyone in the past 22 years! I doubt I ever will!
    I never had a happy, loving family, either! Sure, some of them loved me but we never said it to each other! Never hugged, never showed much of any emotion towards each other! We were just 6 people that lived together.
    A few years ago, my sisters screwed me out of the house that mom left me! Now, 3 of my cousins are screwing me out of the house my aunt left me!!
    I've been COMPLETELY alone here for the past 2.5 years and often wish SOMEONE would drop in and just chat, listen to music or play cards with me, SOMETHING!! I've been alone and very lonely most of my life!! Every time I think I've finally gained a friend or girlfriend, something happens shortly after to take them away from me!! So far, the only ones that have ever stayed loyal to me and loved me a lot were my last two dogs!!

  • You're still very young. It's not a race and there's no hurry. Just try to be patient.

    Have you considered that the reason you haven't met anyone yet is because you aren't putting yourself in a position to meet someone? How do you conduct yourself? Do you go out and talk to people? Do you reach out or are you just waiting around for someone to fall into your lap?

    You aren't your sister and you don't have to be. You are you, and that is enough. However, if you want love to find you, you have to be somewhere you can be found. Go out with friends and make an effort to talk to people. Take up a hobby and share it with people. Have fun and be happy. Chances are someone will notice.

    • Yeah, I know it’s because of that it’s because I’m not putting myself in position to be in a relationship. I know that very well…and I know that after this scholar year it will change. I’ll update in one year Ahah, right now I’m totally closed to any relationship until June 2024. So I’ll try!

    • Well, best of luck. :) Here's hoping you're in a whole different place next year.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Christ, calm the fuck down girl.

    You certainly won't find love being this gloomy and dramatic about it.

    Be you. Independently. You're so fucking young you've never even had a chance to define yourself outside of your schooling or family.

    Live, first. Then you'll have the foundations for love.

    • I know that but I feel so ALONE. I see everyone be lovey dovey and I want that.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 16
  • First of all, no matter how "rebellious" you were as a child, we (both myself and my wife) don't believe in punishment of any kind from one's parents. There are consequences to one's actions but no verbal or physical abuse of any kind.

    Secondly, like everyone else stated you have your whole life ahead of you AND it takes two to tango. What I mean is that you need to put in the effort to find someone to date, sleep, have that special kiss. You need to put yourself out there for men to see you and show interest in you.

    Thirdly, you need separate wanting to be loved and wanting to lose your virginity. If you want to have someone in your life to make you feel special, to satisfy your needs, to make you feel loved and cherish you - then you need to find that special one. Someone who will make you feel special and totally adorable. If you however, just want to get rid of your virginity and just want to experience being satisfied and/or satisfying someone else with no strings attached, then put yourself out there and find someone to do it with. Ask your sister/friends for finding someone like that.

    The reason I am saying separate them is because guys/men are sometimes idiots and will say whatever you want to hear in order to get into your pants and then you will end up feeling unwanted or worse not loved. That feeling is very emotional on so many levels as to why I say, you should know what you want so you don't end up getting hurt.

    Lastly, above is my reflections and thoughts, and only you know what is right for you and whether you can live freely in the country you are living in. Just don't be harsh with yourself and enjoy life fully.

    Best of luck to you! And you deserve to be loved!

  • the moving around that you mentioned, affected friendships. but no point "trying to break virginity " you don't gain anything by that. just losing.

    wait for the guy who loves you, but search for him. pray to find him etc.

  • Omg, hugs !!!

  • There are never guarantees in life, but you are very young and have every reason to be confident that you will find love. There are plenty of men close to your age who would date a woman who has never had a boyfriend. You have plenty of time. No need to sleep with some random guy to “get it out of the way.” You’ll probably enjoy it a lot more if you wait for a guy who loves you.

  • When you least expect it the right guy will suddenly enter your life!

    • I hope…really, I hope I’ll update this post in two or three years to say that I have a boyfriend

    • U will... hang in there and keep a positive attitude, smile a lot, go for some walks to chill and get into activities where u will meet others ur age.

  • I didn't have a girlfriend or date before I was 27 (actually a month and 4 days after my birthday). I have a friend who was 33 (last we talked) who hadn't had a date or girlfriend either. It's not easy, but you can find someone for you and they'll probably want to keep you because people like us are usually more dedicated to keeping relationships going than others. For example my girlfriend and I still are honeymooning and we've been dating for over 5 years

    • You cheered me up, as long as I have a honeymooning relationship I don’t care how much I wait :)

    • I can't promise you will. I don't think it happens to most people. Maybe you can only do it with your soulmate and in a population of over 8 billion, that's statistically unlikely. Yet you will experience the honeymoon phase of a relationship when you get one. Since your future boyfriend is your first, he will experience a new kind of love. If he recognizes this, he won't want to lose you. My girlfriend is exact like that. I wasn't her first boyfriend, but she doesn't want to leave me for any reason, because she knows that the way I love her is unique and special.

  • Certainly. Just give it time.

    • I will but…why should I give time when everyone can pick someone? I don’t mean it that way but…what am I doing wrong? What the f*ck is wrong with me?

    • Sorry it was violent, I’m just angry rn

    • No problem. Maybe just in the wrong place.

  • Don't worry, you are still young and yes someone will love you. Just be yourself and get to know people, someone will love you 😊

  • number one you are too young to worry about that in the long run you will be the one in the best relationship because you are real and have a goal in your life and number two there are so many dipshits that are young and have no clue what life is about you stay the way you are and see who is better of you or your sister and fact number 3 there is some one for every body you just need to cross paths if all else fails i can give you a hug but you won't need it

  • You’re way too young to even have these thoughts…and please don’t just throw away your virginity like that as well. Just wait, the right person will come along.

  • I hope so... I wouldn't want anyone to turn out like me

  • you are just 18 and i am sure you would find one

  • Would you be my friend?

  • Sameeeee bro

  • Of course love will come to you, it is important how you embrace it

  • You’re only 18, just a kid to me, I was a virgin till 21, you have plenty of time for a boyfriend in your future

  • There are people out there well older than you who have still never been with anyone and it's mostly men