I'm sure you're far from being the only guy that thinks along those lines. And if I'm outnumbered then I'll happily be the one to dissent. I used to feel that way and I think I was being a bit egotistical in doing so. As men we generally go into a sexual encounter knowing we're going to be satisfied, that isn't always the case for women. I applaud the woman who is comfortable enough with herself to unabashedly strive for the same sexual satisfaction that I'm striving for. My last long-term girlfriend would occasionally touch herself during sex and if anything it turned me on even more, especially if I could see it happening. The beauty of that sexual relationship was that she always achieved orgasm. That's a rare situation. Sometimes she only needed me to climax, sometimes she had to help the situation out a bit to achieve orgasm, in either instance the end game result was that she was sexually satisfied, which was overwhelmingly satisfying from my point of view.
My advice would be to, instead of seeing it as a bothersome distraction, try to see it as an erotic stimulus. I don't know any men that wouldn't get turned on by watching a woman masturbate. Try to take the stigma out of it. And don't take this as an insult, but if you feel insulted by her touching herself during sex, it's probably your own ego that's making you feel that way. You've got to get beyond that. Again, this wasn't meant to be insulting to you, only to be helpful, and I hope it has been.
Thanks, I really appreciate you constructive response. I must admit there might a very slight "ego" behind it. Though how would a woman feel if she could NEVER make her man ever climax from vaginal sex. Say she could ONLY make him climax with her hands or mouth. If I were a woman I would think there is something wrong with me...
I've read all the comments and I think the girls got a little off topic, but you hit the nail on the head. You would get my vote for best answer ;0)
I don't know, there have been only a couple of times where I couldn't get off, and after so long she got mad at me for taking too long lol, one time I just gave up but on my orgasm happy that she had hers. The only thing I know for sure that makes a woman feel like something's wrong with them is if the man can't get an erection, that's what I've been told, thank god I haven't experience that yet. one a side note, Thanks tammymac :)
Something to think about is size-- if they're used to a bigger guy then you may not be hitting all the right spots she's used to and need to compensate with some manual stimulation. Or she's so used to masturbating that it's the only way she can get off now. That being said, in my experience I've had two women who actually manually stimulated themselves while we were doing our thing and it annoyed and distracted me a bit. What I did was told them to relax and let me do all the work. I admit I'm on the thicker side, about ~6" around, so I have that to my advantage, plus the experience to know what I'm doing. However, all bragging aside, I think what really mattered most is I reassured them that if they needed more stimulation then next time we could try something else. I think that reassurance went a long way to getting them to break out of their normal routine and just let it happen. You can also tinker with holding her hands up over her head for an added thrill, which also keeps her hands away from down there.
Let me start by saying Don't take it as an insult, it's just basic human anatomy that places her most sensitive area somewhere your penis does not reach while having vaginal intercourse.
Ok I'm one of those rare women who can get off by vaginal sex alone. The truth be told, some women can not get off that way. And even though I can, I do prefer to have stimulation other then just vaginal penetration. A clitoral orgasm or a G-spot orgasm is way more intense then a vaginal one is. In my opinion far to many women will just fake it to make to believe you did it for them.
As for guy who like women who can orgasm by penetration, my ex was very happy to know he could please me that way, I know it was an ego boost for him to have proof that he could pleasure me with his manhood. But knowing that, never stopped him from doing all the other things that come with a good love making session.
And in closing if you find it bothersome and distracting you are not really interested in her orgasm, and if you are not interested in putting the effort in to bringing the most pleasure to your partner that you can, you shouldn't be sleeping with her, it's kind a waste of her time. When I have sex I'll pull out all the stops to please him, I think that should be a two way street don't you.
Though, as the question said it was a simple preference question. As for the distracting part. Put yourself in a guys position. Instead of focusing on the pleasure for himself he has also put effort at the same time on the partner. Not that its a bad thing. Its simply distracting. How would a woman feel that every single time they have sex, the girl has to focus and play with him somewhere.NOT that you won't be happy to do so cause you care, I'm simply stating its distracting from the main event
I focus on him the entire time we are having sex, for me that's what it's all about, it's not a distraction, that's what I'm saying. Your having sex...... you have to put effort into it or it won't be any dam good.
I agree with tammymac. I'd add by saying that I think a guy's "manhood" is his brain and attitiude.
Okay. Sounds like it's time for a basic human anatomy lesson.
Look, the clitoris is the female penis, basically. In utero, for the first couple of months it's the same organ, and then it develops into a penis for guys and the clitoris for girls. Unless you can stimulate her clit adequately with your penis alone (and let's face it, most guys can't), it would be like you trying to orgasm without any stimulation to the penis. Possible, I suppose, but hella difficult. Don't take it personally, dude. It's not an insult to you, it's just a simple fact of female biology. If you've had a girl in the past who claimed to be getting off every single time just from intercourse, she was probably faking. And if you find it "bothersome and distracting" that she's trying to reach orgasm in the way that girls usually have to do, then I sure as hell wouldn't want to be with you. Getting your own satisfaction and then being insulted by the way a girl has to get off is NOT attractive.
You may find women who CAN orgasm from intercourse alone, but doubt you'll find too many who prefer it!
Hmmm, that subject is still in dispute. there a lot experts who say different things about clitoris/G spot story to which I am fully aware. As for the woman I was with, faking it ? I highly doubt that one... she was the one stoping me from trying to please her orally, anyways... no point discussing that one cause its not part of the topic. I knew this question would offend women....
I guess for some girls oral is just too intense...too much pleasure, if you will, enough that it can seem painful. If you can find a girl who truly prefers intercourse over oral or manual stimulation all the time, though, more power to you. But most girls I know don't.
I get off most and best during sex :) and you're hot so heyyy ;) lol
I also get off from fingering, though. G spot is where its at. I actually DONT like when guys rub my clit. Because they suck at it :p and I'm too shy to do it myself lol but I get off plenty from sex as long as he is hitting the right spot :)
Wow ! Thank you for answering ! Now we have proof of such a specimen (a really cute one I might add lol) ;)
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!For me it really depends if I'm horny as hell or we're doing a certain position I'll have an orgasm easily, twice or three times. If I'm not feeling up to it, it'll take a lot of work and that includes a lot of foreplay and playing with myself. I don't really like being on the bottom if I'm turned on. If I'm going to make him and me orgasm, it's always best that I'm grinding him. It's better when he smacks my bottom.ummm.I'm getting a little carried away here. :p
Oral, anal, fingering or masturbation for me thanks. I'm not too into the "straight lay." I've never been with a no-talent hack who only thought of sex as being something his penis does. I never plan too either.
The way you discuss this you sound selfish, lazy and sort of like you don't understand female anatomy very well. However, since other women have taken it upon themselves to try to explain anatomy in hope of changing your attitude, I think I will instead try to suggest that you take the time to try to find some positions where your body will stimulate a woman's clitoris during sex. One example is to stick a pillow under her butt in missionary (though it might take the two of you a while to figure out exactly where to put it). If you are too selfish and lazy to put extra effort into pleasuring her during sex, at least put in some time outside the bedroom to learn about the ways you can increase the chances of her coming during intercourse alone.
Thanks you for you comment, the fact that you disagreed with me and explained it calmly shows good self discipline, props ! But This whole string is getting out of hand, it was a simple question to some guys if they preferred women who didn't need that stimuli to come. There are some women (who even posted here) who don't to be touched there, during intercourse they get stimulated on their g spot and they come just fine.... this whole clitoris things is not the only way to make a girl orgasm....
I don't need to have my clitoris stimulated and can come from g-spot stimulation, but I've never sequences of orgasms being stimulated only that way... One of the many things I tend to enjoy about sex, oral sex, etc are the reactions and pleasure of the other person, and I have always enjoyed doing everything I can, be it easy or hard, convenient or not, to make the experience amazing for them. I guess that is just something we seem to disagree about.
The fear I have with statements like yours is that most women don't have orgasm through intercourse. Every vagina is a little different and most of them don't allow the penis to sufficiently stimulate the clitoris or g-spot sufficiently to treat the women to an orgasm. With a statement like yours you are basically telling women they have to fake their orgasm in order to feed your ego. That is pretty selfish and makes sex pretty much a chore for women.
I personally love to just please my partner and would rather she be authentic in her sexuality. If she needs a vibrator, finger stimulation, etc. then so be it. If I don't have an orgasm then I don't blame my partner. In fact, I don't blame anything. I never make it a goal. The trip where I can connect to my partner is the most fun, which takes the pressure off of both of us to reach orgasm. If she doesn't have an orgasm them I certainly don't take that as an insult.
Hi Dakan, I agree with you, if you really care about someone, you do anything to make him/her happy. Though if you had read the question properly and understood it they way it was meant you might have responded differently. I have been with both types, it has nothing to do with ego. I was a simple question about preference. Additionally it has nothing to do with "faking" as you can see some women here have posted they prefer intercourse. Kind Regards -Jay-
Reading through this thread. Yes, SOME women can and do finish from penetration alone. However, please realize (do some googling for statistics), it's generally believed from research that these women are the minority. There are also some women who NEVER orgasm with a partner (no matter what type of activity you do), and there are some women who actually never orgasm at all (I've known two). If you have a women who can finish during sex, however she finishes, consider yourself a lucky man.
Also, regardless of your preference, I assume you wouldn't let this be criteria for rejecting a girl? I prefer a guy who can last during sex as I become more likely to have vaginal orgasms. However, in a relationship with one who doesn't last very long, I take it upon myself to find ways to deal with it (by making sure I'm closer to climax before we have sex, or making him pull out during sex, or having him finish me before or after sex). Not my preference, but do I really give a crap? No because I love him tons.
Good feedback, though I disagree with those "stats" on google. Maybe I was lucky but out of the few partners I have had and the experiences my guy friends tell me, its about 50/50. As for criteria, not to he point of rejecting a girl, but it is a definite plus. It might be difficult for most women to see or understand, but psychologically its *very* satisfying knowing its my "manhood" doing the job and not the rubbing of my finger.
From talking amongst girls, most have said that they can't... also keep in mind that many women fake orgasms on occasion, and are probably more likely to in hookup situations. Especially if a girl thinks a guy expects her to finish from penetration alone, and doesn't do anything to help her out, she is more likely to fake. And in my experience, most guys don't talk all that graphically about sex, and the ones that do, overstate and brag. I
For an example, in a sex toy bachelorette party, we played a game where every girl had to move to the next chair if she had ever did what the host described. When she said to move seats if you had faked orgasms, I was the only girl out of 15 who didn't move. So if you want to use your personal anecdotal evidence over research to say half of women have orgasms from penetration, then I counter with my anecdotal evidence that women fake orgasms to please men's need to feel good about their "manhood
I can understand to an extent, but try not to look at it as anything you're doing wrong. She just gets pleasure out of being stimulated in more than one place. Have you tried taking on that activity as well? I would take it to mean that she's reveled a spot that I could be attending to. Maybe at first you can't do it like she can. But get some feedback and see if you can get the hang of it. If she still likes to do it herself, I wouldn't let it bother you. Better to have her satisfied than wanting it that way and being too uncomfortable to do or say anything. On the other hand, I would think that distracted means you are going to take longer. Isn't that a plus?
Ok bit selfish? some girls simply can't orgasm that way-does it make them bad people? NO! so why would this be a reason for you not to like them? Personally I can orgasm from penetration-most of the time-sometimes I need a bit of help and thank goodness my boyfriend isn't opposed to giving it to me! But I still need a warm up if I'm gonna orgasm from intercourse so I suppose I don't prefer intercourse alone-in fact out of all my friends I don't think any of them would. the same thing all the time is boring-i like a bit of variation-then you don't know what to expect! And to be honest whether its his penis, his hand, his mouth or even his big toe that gets me off I don't care so long as we both do!
Selfish ? I don't see how... and besides. I just wanted to know if there other guys who prefer a certain type of ladies? If you prefer tall men ? or men with green eyes does that make you selfish ? no... Its a simple preference. Judging by your response it seems I offended you :( Sorry if I did :) I was just wondering if any guys preferred that type too :)
To be honest there's no particular type of man I prefer so long as he doesn't look like a hobbit and makes me happy. And I make him happy of course!!! It didn't offend me I just can't understand why a bloke would find it bothersome and distracting to do something that would make their girl really happy. But I suppose ur hot so I can forgive you ;) Oh and I do prefer intercourse to anything else but as I said before the same thing all the time gets boring!!
well ok I can understand you on this one but women overall if way too attracted to the guy I'm talking about sexually high attracted then in that case a woman can come just from a guy kissing her. I mean women have so many spots in which a man can go around with (if experienced and knows what exactly turns her on) - he can basically suck on her earlobe as he's whispering in her ear and make her come! It all really depends on a guy - if he knows all the possible tricks!
Thanks for the tip :) Though I only got one clear cut answer from a anonymous guy. Though the question was : If guys like it better when the girl/woman can (and prefer) orgasming via intercourse than other kinds of stimulation.
Every woman, no matter what stat someone finds or thinks they find has the ability to orgasm through penetration. The female orgasm is very closely tied with her mind, the reason most haven't or "can't" is because they are somewhere else and not in the moment.
Wow, I applaud to say such a statement ! Though I have a feeling you might get flamed for saying it :)
I get where you're coming from
Please elaborate :)
Well I see how it's just easier, people can get quite touchy about stuff like that though.
well bud if she only gets orgasms from clitoal stimulation, that only means the men she's had sex with havnt hit the back wall, on this back wall is the g spot, if you take your index pinger and middle finger palm up, insert into her vag as far as you can push them.( she's gotta be on her back) feel around.. feel that thing that feels like a small penis that's the g spot, flick the hell out of it. she will start makin noises, its gonna grow alittle.. now take your two fingers and go underneathit.. now in in fast up and down motion graze the tip of her g spot, keep goin, she might say I gotta pee, keep going that just means she's about to come and when she does you will be the man.. now when havin intercouse use mr willy to find the g and slam the hell out og it.. problem solved... oh and one more thing... some girls with only clitoral orgasms find out when the g gets pleasured and they orgasm they squirt, which is a good thing cause it saves money on lube :)
Uh thanks, I didn't know any of that...
Grow up.
Your expectations are unreasonable.
If a woman is climaxing as a result of intercourse, that is because of her and not you. Women are not built to climax solely from penile penetration. To expect otherwise is to teach them to fake orgasms and eventually get rid of you as unteachable.
Imagine you have sex with women who insist on only licking your balls. While it feels good, it is deeply unlikely to result in orgasm. Now imagine she insist if you were a real man, you could come when she did that since every other man she ever did could.
See where this is a problem?
Learn how to use your mouth and your fingers and be grateful that women choose to share their bodies with you.
Sorry, I believe that you are off topic... It was a simple question about preference. Additionally, if you had read previous posts, there are few that DO and PREFER to orgasm via intercourse (which I might add your analogy is still in debate and seems to be incorrect for some women) I knew I would get some serious heat from women about this topic, sorry if you felt offended :) Cheers :)
You are mistaken. I'm male and I am giving you the feedback you asked for. I am saying that your position is unreasonable and only results in teaching women to fake orgasm.
Sorry if I mistake you for a woman, it wan not intentional. though I am not mistaken, my position isn't unreasonable AND it was a simple preference. READ THE POSTS some women like it better, Nuff said cheers !
I love it when a girl gets off while we are humping, because it shows me that I'm doing a good job. I find it sexy when she is rubbing herself while we are doing it.
I like to finger my women to orgasm first, or maybe oral, or maybe both, and then penetrate. Women take longer to warm up, and this helps.
your not the only one I'm a girl and I prefer to orgasm through intercourse than with a sex toy it takes the romantic feeling away just being honest
some girls just can't orgasm throught intercourse alone because that doesn't stimulate the most sensative area...the clittt! if you are somehow able to get at that part through just intercourse..not likely...then great. you shouldn't take it as an insult..i'm sure she plenty enjoys your part in it but its just the way we're built...i hate it too I would love to get there through just intercourse. but not every girl is the same either I'm sure there are some who can get there the way you want...
I've gotten a lot of hate mail on this one or women who simply say they fake it, but my last girlfriend came very easily just by sex with no touching or rubbing of any kind(it was amaznig !). And from a psychological standpoint Its way hotter. Its very depressive to think its my thumb that makes her come rather than my penis. Also I can focus my hands all over her body naturally, rather than having to arch my back and/or put myself & arm/fingers in a weird position to touch it
i don't think that's wrong to think that. if I was a guy and a girl couldn't orgasm just with us having sex, then I'd be like. okay why don't we try something else then.
we're different. of course I'd love it if every time I have sex but it's not possible. sometimes it takes longer and you guys sometimes cum easily, so we gotta do our own fast forwarding to make sure we have an orgasm
Her fingers are helping you get her off. Its a lot easier to get off while having sex and masturbating than it is masturbating and I would think(I can't orgasm vaginally either) you are giving her an extreme amount of pleasure from having sex alone but for most women it just can't make them orgasm. And it is a bit selfish of you to call it "bothersome" to return the pleasure to your girl that she is giving you.
Well look at it this way, I am do the sex, I am playing with her and she is laying down ? sorry, but it isn't 50/50 :)
Doesn't matter if you're working harder, you're still getting all your pleasure from her, so you should return the favor.
The penis is only meant for procreation. It was never shaped specifically for g-spot or clitoral stimulation. You shouldn't worry about pleasing your woman with just your penis, odds are your woman likes you more for other reasons than just sex.
Thank for you response, but it wasn't my question. :) Regardless if the penis was simply meant for "procreation" (which I disagree with cause I have had women who ONLY wanted intercourse because they found it more pleasurable and orgasmed harder than manual stimulation or oral sex...) The question was: If guys like it better when the girl/woman can (and prefer) orgasming via intercourse than other kinds of stimulation...
In that case, I don't care. As long as I am getting pleasure out of the sex then it doesn't matter to me if she is getting pleasured with ONLY intercourse.
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