Sexual Relationships
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Would it be messed up if a had sex with a diff guy?

Please don’t judge me… but I’m in a relationship and we’ve gone through good times and really bad times but we’ve managed, but for some time now aprox 6 months our sex life has kind died down, we used have sex regularly. But now we have sex every now and then maybe every 2 weeks, I don't know 4-5 times a month at most. I’m used to having sex daily or every other day I honestly have to masturbate so I can take care of my needs. Lately I’ve been fantasizing about having sex with other guys to feel fulfilled. (Masturbating isn’t the same as sex for me) And I feel horrible for even having these thoughts. I wouldn’t want or is interested in any love connection with anyone else or anything. But I just get really frustrated at the fact that my boyfriend rather watch porn and take care of his business than being intimate with me. I literally have satisfy myself about 3 times a week to be good. The whole situation it really kind of sad.

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AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion

  • That happens. It would be helpful to know about details; eg. if someone has increased alcohol consumption or drug taking it can replace sexual desire. Many anti-depressants esp. those in the SSRI ( serotonin reuptake inhibitors) like paxil, prozac, any in that family are notorious for repressing desire and causing weight gain. Others that work on transmitters other than serotonin can increase desire. Two that I know of are brand names Wellbutrin and Effexor, those do not regulate serotonin, instead the affect norepinephrine. Sorry about science lesson. I just deleted a bunch of stuff I had written since it seemed to be only one possible explanation & not the most likely. If you want to more you can DM me.

    You didn't mention if he watches porn or jerks off as lot. It would be helpful to know. If he does watch porn and jerks off than his drive is still present just not directed in a way that helps. That could make you feel worse sinc3e it seems like he still wants sex but not with you. Don't let this make you feel bad. Many men are drawn to porn because because it has none of the drawbacks as sex with a person (a second person that is) because there are no flaws on porn stars. They are airbrushed, made up & don't look like a human does. Warts, cellulite etc. can be airbrushed out. Some guys don't make the connection and look for blemish free, beautiful, perfectly shaped body parts. You never hear pussy farts in porn because everything is edited. Life can't be edited. Maybe therapy would help with this but getting him to try it will be. I'd suggest not mincing words or using euphemisms. Don't ask him if he wants to "fool around" I hear that term often and it is so far from the intense sexuality that usually accompanies a new relationship. It sounds as if your sexuality is healthy since you masturbate. There are still some women who have never had an orgasm so it would be more of a psychological issue. Does he look at other women? Does he masturbate? If you're comfortable trying to salvage a problem that isn't your fault (fault is a bad term but couldn't think of an other) but his you could try a few things like wearing lingerie, keeping some books about that discuss increasing your sexual pleasure around to catch his attention. I'd strongly suggestion keeping a couple of vibrators around will help give him the sense that maybe he should be wondering why you have 12 vibrators in your nightstand and they could come in handy. Another idea would be to let him catch you masturbating. Almost every guy gets turned on by the sexuality of a woman masturbating, I certainly do. If you try that and it doesn't work you need to decide what the result you mist desire will be. If you decide to have affairs ( which is what I would do) think through the results of him finding out. Deciding if you want to keep the relationship with him intact, you'll need to impress the idea that what you are doing is for physical pleasure not because you want to fall in love. It would be a sticky wicket if s lover decides he wants to spend his life with you. Unfortunately women do not have as many options as men. If you're near an urban area you could see an escort but male escorts are much rarer than female escorts. Almost every female escorts also see females so if you had ever been intrigued by as lesbian affair you could check it out. I don't know if this is a personal ideas or one that is generally agreed on but it seems to me that seeing a professional is less adulterous than another guy you meet in a bar. The downside is meeting and fuckling a guy you meet would probably cost very little. You might want to see if anyone in your area practices Yoni massage. It's considered a type of Yoga. It is named and is essentially pussy massage. It has some mental health reasons but I think most women see it as a chance to have a strong guy (or girl) give you multiple orgasms- which is common when receiving one.

    Anyway, good luck. It's a shitty situation. Feel free to DM me about anything I men- tioned that you want more info on or just want to talk. I'm sure I'd win d up flirting with you and making convo as risque as possible and we could both enjoy that

Most Helpful Guy

  • You should take a deep look at your relationship and look at what's changed from when you guys started dating. I know from experience, if a girlfriend changes her reciprocity I lose confidence in the relationship. If the flirting or mood, or dating slows or stops, it stagnates the relationship. If a guy gets denied his advances often or it's just not the same anymore, it makes the guy feel like he's not wanted. Guys and girls can sense when their partner is wavering like thinking about other men because it bleeds into how we act around our partners. You guys seem to have settled down and that's not unreasonable to expect, nothing can be new forever, eventually things becomes routine but that doesn't mean you can get comfortable and stop trying to win him over every day. Part of him is probably asking himself why should he even try if she's not interested. Show renewed interest, there's no rules to who has to take the initiative only that people try and try to encourage reciprocation for it.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Do not cheat! You cannot undo it once it has happened. You would just make your relationship issues much worse.

    If you are that unhappy, just leave your marriage. It sounds like it cannot be fixed. Cheating once or twice would just make you want to cheat more.

  • If you’re thinking of cheating, may as well end it now before you actually cheat. he's not satisfying you. Have you at least communicated with him that he's lacking in bed

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 19

  • Is it okay if he has sex with other women?

    Your obligation here - unless you specifically arranged otherwise up front, and if you did, you wouldn't be asking here - is to TALK to your man about this, and even to get some relationship counselling and work it out, OR break up with him. It is NOT okay to cheat on him, regardless of what the situation is. Cheating is NEVER okay and NEVER justifiable.

  • Have you told your boyfriend about your needs as a woman and his girlfriend?

  • I guess the best solution is to have a decent communication with your man. Don't get me wrong but cheating (any form) is disgusting. I wouldn't wanna cheat nor be cheated on. You are partners for a reason and should have the confidence and maturity to discuss things that are bothering you in a relationship. Should be able to find a middle way to compromise. If things don't seem to help, best advice would be to end the relationship before doing anything that is disgusting. Sorry to say disgusting because truly cheating is something done with choice, I don't believe any excuse or reason should justify it.

  • Is your boyfriend jerking off to the porn he is watching? How old is he? It is not going to get better unless you talk about it with him. Is he physically able to have sex everyday or every other day?

  • Sounds like you already messed up.

  • You clearly now satisfied and it's his fault, but you better leave than cheat, don't turn into a ho.

    • I mean not satisfied.

  • Well, don't feel alone, or that the feelings are 'wrong". Happens every day, and for me to suggest that you 'fuck in the side' will get me a lot of 'hate responses", so I am sending this to you only and blocking out other GAG members from giving me the 'hate mail' for suggesting that you do that. I have had sex with many married women, as well as with women whose husbands were my friend.

    I had a close friend for many years, who met, dated and later married and had two children. We were all '20 something'. During their dating, she told me that her and her then-only-boyfriend, were having '
    problems' and that she went out with, and fucked an old boyfriend, while her current 'guy' was unaware. She never told him and I told her not to.
    At one point, HE was on vacation with his dad, and she watched his apartment, for him and called me after work, to come up and she asked me: "Why have you never made a pass at me"? I had given her a penis picture and she told HIM about it so I never wanted to risk that again, but told her that I had ALWAYs wanted to eat and fuck her - (in that order)
    Soooooo long story short, if you want and feel the need, have sex with another and be discreet about it, away from home so it doesn't come back to bite you in the ass.
    My cousin did just that for MANY years and her husband only found out by accident. They stayed married, and are still married.

  • Maybe its time for a new partner. Cheating is the ultimate betrayal. Better to start over.

  • Break up with him, then go sleep with other guys

  • Break up with the dude before you do that.

  • Everyone has needs and sometimes you got to take matters in you hands. First maybe tell your man how you feel about the situation and think about doing and maybe get some counseling if you really love him to find the root of the problem if your sex life. Maybe he also wants something that why he doesn't want sex as much.

  • Totally understandable. You gave him plenty of warnings that he needs to take care of you and he failed to do that. So, you found someone that can. No need to feel guilty about getting what you need. Although, you might want to tell him.

  • If you don't care if he finds out, then go for it.
    However, if you're not getting what you want now, maybe it's time to bail.
    There ARE more fish in the sea.

  • If you want sex more often, then leave him. Cheating is never an acceptable solution

  • Yes! Infidelity is the 2nd worst thing a woman can do to a man!

  • You sre trying to justify your actions.

  • If you're gonna be a whore then leave the relationship

  • Go for it

  • My wife does it regularly. She's happier

  • I used to judge people like you harshly, but then I matured a little. I’m married and can relate in some sense. I too masturbate everyday because sex I get at times doesn’t cut it. To answer your question, yes it’s morally corrupt to cheat. You need to renounce these thoughts you have, and use them to attempt to fix this dynamic of this relationship. To be blunt, this is honestly what separates a good person from a bad person. You’re not bad for the thoughts, but whether you choose to enact them or not is what defines your character. Work on it diligently. If it doesn’t work after you’ve given it your best efforts, then you can end the relationship since you’re not married. Just know this though- this will happen in any monogamous long term relationship. You will have to deal with this again if you want a family and kids one day. Or even just a meaningful long term relationship. If you run away from this issue, just know that you’re not learning how to work through it. You’re just avoiding it. In a sense, you’re just chasing nostalgia and not learning how to base attraction further than that. You should learn this. I’m still learning these things, and I’m not perfect, but I can personally attest to my development as a person. It’s up to you though. I’m not in your relationship so obviously you know what’s best. Just my opinion. Goodluck

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