Would it be wrong to get birth control with telling my boyfriend?

My boyfriend wants a baby and I'm not ready yet, would it be wrong to start on birth control without telling him?
Updates:
+1 y
Update: I did go get birth control
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Superb Opinion

  • Ok... so yes it is wrong. BUT...

    What is REALLY wrong here is that you are not able to (or don't feel comfortable?) communicating what you want to you boyfriend.

    You are not ready.

    If you are not ready, and your boyfriend wants a baby... it is wrong to not tell him that you are not ready.

    If you HAVE told him that you are not ready; and he doesn't seem to be hearing you... then you need to tell him one last time--very clearly--that "you do not want a baby until you are ready."

    If you DO THAT TOO... and he STILL doesn't seem to be able to understand and respect what you've said...

    That is really really really messed up.

    Unhealthy as fuck.

    Straight up abusive.

    Coercive.

    SO WRONG.


    You need to talk to him about this. I don't care how shy you are... you NEED to talk to him about this. You NEED to make it clear to him where exactly you stand on this issue. Be totally honest.

    It is actually an awful thing to do to take birth control behind your boyfriend's back... IF you've allowed him to think (or assume) that you want a baby like he does. That is really a terrible thing to DECEIVE him about--even by omission.

    However, once you make clear that you do not want a baby because you are not ready...


    He has two choices. Only two choices.

    1. He can accept that you do not want a baby in the near future, and therefore, will have no problem with you going on birth control.

    2. He can not accept it. Perhaps starting a family as soon as possible is very important to him. That's fair. He has a right to make an informed decision about what the future is going to look like if he stays in a relationship with you. If he is not ok with the fact that you are not ready... to the point that he cannot accept it... he can break up with you.

    Those are the ONLY two options... otherwise, you're into some twisted, abusive shit... and it is super wrong.

    If you're in a situation where you aren't ready... you've said so... and he still wants a baby...

    ... That is 100% a bad guy.

    Only a bad guy is capable of doing that.

    Any guy who could do that, is necessarily a bad guy. That's a fact. I'd bet my mother's life on that.

    If that's your situation... get out of that relationship. Seriously. That's a bad dude. 🙂

Most Helpful Guy

  • If your boyfriend wants a baby and you don't, you need to a real talk with him and stand firm on it. If he is so macho that he won't listen or respect your opinion, especially about YOUR body, then you need to take a second look at your boyfriend and your relationship.
    Also, since you are not married... if he leaves you, then you now a single mom, and depending on what country or state you live in, you can be in a world of hurt.
    So think wisely about having a baby now. Be firm and strong.
    Good Luck.

    • Thanks for the HMO... :) I hope everything is working out for you.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I dont see why he would care unless you're planning on having a baby soon. You should tell him eventually but dont feel guilty waiting till the right moment comes along.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 26
  • There are two parts to this question: first, is it wrong to take steps to keep from getting pregnant, and second, is it wrong to lie to your boyfriend about it? To the first, no- having kids is NOT something that should be done casually. It's a major, permanently-life-altering thing that can't be undone. To the second part, yes- if you're not ready for it, don't do it. But be upfront about it- lying is only going to make things worse. Put yourself in his shoes- would YOU want to be lied to?

  • Getting the birth control yourself is fine, it’s your body, your choice. Yes, I would tell it, and not hide it from him. Treat him like an adult, even if he’s not yet totally one.

    • He wants me to have 4 kids and I told him already I will be stopping at 2 , I've had none yet but I'm not ready to deal with it

  • You should be honest with each other.

  • If you're not ready then your opinion is the only one that matters. Never mind your boyfriend, do what you feel is best. Women must get out of the "asking for permission" mindset before they can archive equality with men.

  • Not at all, however you need to tell him what you have done.

    he does not get much of a choice if you do not want a baby.

    it need a both to be wanting one. If he is still unhappy, the really I would tell him to fuck off and enjoy single life, it’s your body, yes tell him you are on pill because you don’t want kids yet, but he has to accept it or fuck off.

  • I don't think you have to tell him unless he's terminally ill and your his last hope for procreation.

  • It's your body, so do as you see best. But being dishonest is not a way to maintain a good relationship.

  • He’s entitled to know. Do it anyway. If he doesn’t like it, tell him you aren’t ready. If he can’t accept that, point him toward the door.

  • Just be honest about your intentions.

  • I would say go for it, especially if you are worried that he may try something to get you prego, but either way precautions are good :)

  • Just be honest with him.

  • Yes it would be wrong, but you need to talk together and make plans on when you think you'll be ready. Would you consider next year or 5 years down the road. If'it's long term, and he really doesn't want to wait that long, then maybe he'll have to find a different path and/or partner.

    It's your body that will be carrying that baby for 9 months. He won't be going through the pain, hell just be sitting back watching how big you'll get.

  • If your relationship is at the point that you are not on the same page about having kids then you really have no business having kids.
    You cannot take them back to the kids store.

  • That would be extremely wrong. Tell him that you aren't ready yet. Be honest. It's the best policy.

  • It is definetly wrong as someone else said just tell him the truth if he loves you he'll understand

  • Yes and no. It says you’re 18-24. Live life. Have some fun. Become situated in life first. Know that you can afford the time and money it takes to raise a child, especially in this economy.


    The no part. He might start thinking he’s shooting blanks. Then he might go to the doctor to see if he’s fertile. Now if that happens and he does find out he is, then I imagine yes he would be upset.

  • Lying and deceiving is wrong so yeah

  • IT'S WRONG !!

  • You should discuss why you don't want a kid yet. I'm sure he'll understand

  • Im made out of birth control i can't have kids anyways even if i tried 🤣🤣🤣 im like a walking blue pill and no its not wrong its your choice

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