Would you agree/disagree that premarital sex is a critical key component as opposed to "saving yourself"? Why/Why not?

[BJP21]

For me, I want to eventually know you and you wanting to know me on the intimate level when we date. This is goes to those who have not had any sexual encounter of any kind until such time occurs... How am I to know if you're comfortable with your body or my body? What turns you on? Someone here even asked how do I initiate it? What feels good to you? What positions do you know? (For some religious doctrines even consulting a sex book is deemed a sin due to the potential of impure and lustful thoughts)

The floor is yours.

[BCRanger10]

I disagree. I am a firm believer in waiting until marriage to have sex.

While sex is a deeply intimate part of a marriage, it is a part nonetheless. I think that way too many people put way too much stock in "compatibility", which is not what by itself will keep a marriage not only alive, but well.

I understand the concerns you brought up about figuring out what they're comfortable with, what they're into and what they're not. I understand the concern about not feeling comfortable with one's body. I understand feeling unsure about when and how to initiate a sexual encounter. But the problem with that however is that it undermines two things. For one, the importance of communication. For another, it undermines each other's choice to truly love, cherish, and respect the other person.

This kind of thinking undermines the importance of communication because communication is also another vital part of a healthy and happy marriage. People often blame the collapse of a relationship on poor communication, so then communicate! Speak to each other. Tell the other person what you want and don't want sexually.

And that ties in with the next point about loving, cherishing, and respecting the other person. You are not marrying a body, you are marrying a person; the same is true for your spouse. If there are things you want, then your spouse will understand why you want them and vice versa. That or each will understand and respect why they don't want them. Then you also factor in that desires and wants can change.

Let me explain it this way. I went to a wedding yesterday. During the reception, the bride's father gave a speech during which he said "love is a verb", meaning that love is an action. An action or lack thereof is a choice. That is something I've been saying here for years. If you and your spouse truly love each other, then again, you will understand and respect each other's sexual desires and boundaries.

Most, if not all of what you've said here can be resolved pretty easily without having to go that entire way before marriage.

[RobT312]

I think sex before marriage is important. Intimacy is just as much a part of being with someone in a relationship for life as personality, companionship, attraction, etc. so for me it’s essential. I wouldn’t marry someone I haven’t had sex with

[Nikki1989]

I would say it is essential.

[Lliam]

I agree. Saving oneself for marriage is ludicrous. I wouldn't even date someone who believed in that.
I wouldn't consider marrying someone unless we had been in a long term, committed relationship for a long time. That includes sex.

[summiter]

I think it is very important to get to know each other sexually before any long term commitment like marriage etc.

[Berethor]

Disagree, good girls wait until marriage.

[BJP21]

@berethor Does this go for girls that have scrounged up what is left of their courage after being mentally, emotionally, and physically abused? Or how about the boyfriend that cheated?

[Berethor]

@BJP21 women are the gatekeepers of sex, they should had been choosing better.

[BJP21]

@berethor So you're blaming the women? I find it highly judgmental.

[TroyDT2]

No. People need to do what is right for them.

[Anonymous]

What do I do when I need you close?