Guys, would you be with a girl who has been sexually harmed in the past?

It’s probably one of the most scariest thing being a women and having the fear that you could get sexually assaulted and get raped. I’m curious to know what guys who do or feel if the girl they like has told them that. Even if it was never their fault, some guys think it is a turn off which is really bad
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Superb Opinion

  • I've been with many women who have been raped in the past. It's a part of reality that it happens to a lot of women. To outright reject them because they are going to have lingering issues from that drastically reduces the women you can form relationships with. Besides the fact that typically when someone opens up to you about something like that, you've been with them for a while anyway and gotten pretty close.

    I mean, it is a turn off to think of the woman you care for being raped, especially since most women I've known who had that happen it occurred at a young age from a family member or someone close to the family. The alternatives would be to not care, or be turned on by it.

    If someone feels the need to tell me about something like that, it's obviously still bothering them, so I feel like they can trust me, and don't want to abuse it. It's not like you can control being raped, or your feelings though, so the only thing to do is be honest, be reliable, and keep moving forward. If they wanted therapy or anything like that, they would have done it already, I'm not looking to change anyone, just take them as they are... because that's what attracted me in the first place.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I dated a girl who was abused by her parents and her older brother did some weird stuff to her as well. She was really sweet and nice and she had this way of really understanding me. Sometimes we would just sit on my sofa and spend the whole night just talking about the trainwrecks of our lives.
    I think she had some kind of mood disorder maybe bipolar because every 4 or 5 weeks she would get angry and at first I just thought it was her time of the month. This was not what it was because when she was in her bad mood she would start to drink heavily and soon she would say terrible things to me and would hit me or kick me. Once she bit me so hard I was bleeding. I still have the scar.
    I knew that she was not really angry with me but she was angry about her life. One night after a very nasty fight I was able to talk to her about this. I told her that I thought that she had some kind of mood disorder. I asked her if she thought she might need some kind of therapy. She was intelligent to understand that she had the symptoms of bipolar disorder. I told her I would go with her and help her as long as she needed. She was really calm and nice and a few days later she made an appointment to see a therapist.
    She got on some meds and I insisted that she had to stay away from recreational drugs and she agreed.
    We broke up a couple of months after that, it was her idea, but I guess the therapy helped because she has a pretty normal life now.

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What Guys Said

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  • This is a very risky area, it’s not just a black and white thing.

    dealing with issues such as this, high chance of mental health issues, ptsd etc.

    Also, for any sex, being abused or rape under 18 is fairly high (yes as age increases the probability aligns with the girl)

    this is where, trust, openness and respect are paramount.

    Could I have a relationship, yes but they can be hard for both and the non abused partner should possibly chat to a mental health / abuse counsellor

  • Yes i could be with a girl like that but i would want to know how comes she's feels that way at the same time i would want to help her get over that fear,,, but here's the part i dobt understand , i went out with a girl kinda like the girl your talking about we had a lot of talks about it ,, i am also a very slow deep sensual type of lover we both loved role play ,, and this what we are talking about is one of her role plays that she wants to do i never did ask her why we seem to always do that one more than any other

  • I don't know.
    It just depends.

  • Yes, I have. She was raped at 13. Yes, she was iffy on intercourse although it ended up OK. But what really got to her was oral/cunnilingus. It did not play on her memory and she became eager to receive it.

  • Does being sexually assaulted make her less of a human being or deserving of cared for?

  • It's not turn off. It's heart breaking to know someone I care about was violated in that way. I wouldn't be able to do it if they are so traumatized by it that I cannot develop a relationship or have any sort of intimacy.

  • For a girl to be judged for being a victim is one of the most ignorant and really stupid things I've ever heard about. An extreme case being women accused of adultery because they were raped. Sick, sad and maddening.

    I've had two girlfriends who'd been raped.
    On both occasions I found out because after we'd had fun sex and fallen asleep together they both woke me up by scratching my face and pushing me away from them and saying stop and get away.
    Both times I'd grab their wrists and say their names. The first time was automatic reaction but I was trying to figure out what the hell was happening. The second time I remembered the first.
    When they woke up and realized what had happened they both apologized and started crying and told me everything.
    It's scary and frustrating that the memory continues to haunt them.
    If I found out that had happened to a girl that would not stop me from dating them.
    At some point I'd gently bring up how they dealt with it because that shit can affect decision making for years after and of course I'd want her to be as healthy mentally and emotionally as she is physically.

  • If it makes them not like sex or not like men, then it's a negative, unfortunately. I know it's not her fault, though.

  • Of course

  • Yes , it's up to her if she wants to get really close.
    Girls tend to want trust and security.

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