Them experiencing that isn't a problem for me other than the fact I'd be very angry at whoeever did it. I would ask about boundaries and tell her my own experiences possibly (probably not)
I am willing to stay with them, but it just depends on how it impacts them and the relationship. I'm fine with my partner having experienced trauma, but I only have an issue when it's put on me consistently for a while. If that happens, then she's not ready to date someone or me anyway.
Also, I don't mean issues like her having problems with intimacy, but her being toxic to me emotionally to wheres its exhausting (the possible side effects of PTSD)
i wouldn’t hold that against them it wasn’t their fault, saying they’re tainted is just horrible.
My boyfriend of 5 years said he’d leave but still support. He always likes to use the word “tainted”
u should find a new boyfriend
That’s fucked up that he’d leave…
If he were raped by a woman of no relation, yes, and he’d just have to give me tips on what not to say or do because I never want to cross the line or trigger memories of their bad experience. If he were raped by a man or by a female family member, probably not. I’d pity him and sympathize but I couldnt date him. Its just an overall uncomfortable situation
I’m mainly speaking of if they told me they were raped before we started dating. If they were raped WHILE we were dating, it would be hard not to seek revenge on the predator
I know men in their 20s and 30s who were molested by family members when younger and they make it clear they are still not healed from it. Some have even become sex addicts to try to fck the pain away. I just dont have the strength to help them through that, no matter how much I care for them as a person, I’d friendzone them.
I have and it was very difficult. A very close female friend had that experience and it certainly doesn't go away and never will. For a while they can find coping mechanisms but it falls apart easily and the pieces don't go back together again.
Yeah I'd still be with them. Not like it was their fault that they got raped
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!I would be whatever they needed me to be.
I certainly would not victimize them a second time! Only a monster would do such a thing!
Yes, of course…
I would be more gentle and understanding to him had I known it.
Of course it's remain. It's not their fault that happened to them
I'd stay with them.
People actually said no to this…?
My boyfriend 🫡
Personal choice
That is so dam wrong of him. He should be on your side.
Depends on how she is going forward. I know women that were raped a decade earlier that still can't have sex without crying. The twice a year that happens. That's a bit more than I signed up for. I also know women who have been raped and once dude was convicted they were pretty much back to 90% where they were before. That's still long term possibility.
My wife was raped by her stepdad growing up so yeah
I can't believe anyone said no!!
You've clearly never been with somebody who has been raped before.
@jeffend888 you have the impression that all rape victims/ survivors are the same. I was raped years ago and I have never once allowed my rape to affect my relationships. Reporting the rape immediately to the police and knowing the rape could be proven and the guy went to jail for years and also going to therapy helped me to not allow it mentally f me over. The only thing I would never allow in a relationship is hair pulling but other than that, being raped has never affected my relationships or my sex life. I even said if a doctor had to deliver my baby I wanted it to be a male doctor as I am more comfortable with male doctors as female doctors are judgy
@jeffend888 you wouldn't even know I had been raped unless I told you I had been.
I actually dated a rape victim, I loved her with all my heart and it didn't effect anything although I never brought up anything sexual and same vise versa, she broke up with me before we managed to meet up so it is what it is but I don't regret nothing tho
She has stayed with me, and I have had my face 'forcefully sat on' many times by strangers!
Why would I hold that against her? The guy that raped her is the guy that should be punished, not her. I would support her the best that I can, and hope that would be enough.
yea i wouldn't leave them for that
Why would I leave them for being the victim of a violent crime? I'm not THAT kind of monster.
I'll stay with him, be there for him... And if the justice system fails him, I will find who did this to him. I believe that sometimes it takes a monster to kill a monster.
The situation would make a lot of difference. For example if she got blind drunk and accepted a ride from some guy she didn't know than I would question her judgement.
If someone broke in and raped her that is entirely different.
Why wouldn't you be? It's not their fault
Was i implying that i agreed. I dont.
Yes, of course I would. It is an assault. Hopefully I would be able to give the raplist a proper beating
OF COURSE!! Why WOULDN'T I?
Ud be surprised
I'd be surprised at my own feelings?
Of course i would never leave them and i will support them. but what kind of a question is This.
The only time i might leave is if they asked me to. usually rape victims are unwell for a very long time i might be there to support them if they allow me. But i will break up in case they r overwhelmed with healing and dealing with it
I brought this up bc my boyfriend of 5 years told me if i was raped he would leave and wouldn't hav sex with me. He would still support but that was just a red flag.
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