Would you be with your partner if they were raped?

[Boomchakalaca]

Would you still support them? Maybe leave them because they are now “tainted” Would it be an awkward sexual relationship in the future?

[AaronKrieger]

Them experiencing that isn't a problem for me other than the fact I'd be very angry at whoeever did it. I would ask about boundaries and tell her my own experiences possibly (probably not)

I am willing to stay with them, but it just depends on how it impacts them and the relationship. I'm fine with my partner having experienced trauma, but I only have an issue when it's put on me consistently for a while. If that happens, then she's not ready to date someone or me anyway.

Also, I don't mean issues like her having problems with intimacy, but her being toxic to me emotionally to wheres its exhausting (the possible side effects of PTSD)

[dolemite58]

i wouldn’t hold that against them it wasn’t their fault, saying they’re tainted is just horrible.

[Boomchakalaca]

My boyfriend of 5 years said he’d leave but still support. He always likes to use the word “tainted”

[dolemite58]

u should find a new boyfriend

[Shamalien]

That’s fucked up that he’d leave…

[Agape93]

I agree with dole, leave. Im not a good person but even I couldn't fathom abandoning a loved one who'd been through that. I'm not that cruel.

[Agape93]

And sham too. Agreed.

[DizzyDesii]

If he were raped by a woman of no relation, yes, and he’d just have to give me tips on what not to say or do because I never want to cross the line or trigger memories of their bad experience. If he were raped by a man or by a female family member, probably not. I’d pity him and sympathize but I couldnt date him. Its just an overall uncomfortable situation

[DizzyDesii]

I’m mainly speaking of if they told me they were raped before we started dating. If they were raped WHILE we were dating, it would be hard not to seek revenge on the predator

[DizzyDesii]

I know men in their 20s and 30s who were molested by family members when younger and they make it clear they are still not healed from it. Some have even become sex addicts to try to fck the pain away. I just dont have the strength to help them through that, no matter how much I care for them as a person, I’d friendzone them.

[RavVid]

I have and it was very difficult. A very close female friend had that experience and it certainly doesn't go away and never will. For a while they can find coping mechanisms but it falls apart easily and the pieces don't go back together again.

[DizzyDesii]

@RavVid and i dont fault them for trauma. I’ve had bad experiences as well but i cope differently. For those who can't, i understand but i just won't date them. Friendzone at best

[RavVid]

Agree you cannot fault them for trauma they have had inflicted on them and I also agree you cannot date them. There are too many issues for that, not their fault etc but it ain't going to work. Even putting them in friendzone is difficult but if I can do a little good I will.

[DizzyDesii]

@RavVid i just say friendzone as like a max of what i could become for them because I couldnt date them in the long run. I am a caring person but sadly I can only show care for so long before I’d get a bit annoyed bu the subject. So i rather not hurt them more emotionally since theyve already been hurt physically. Its just best we go our separate ways

[Apple1996]

Yeah I'd still be with them. Not like it was their fault that they got raped

[Hot_Mess_Express]

I would be whatever they needed me to be.

[OlderAndWiser]

I certainly would not victimize them a second time! Only a monster would do such a thing!

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Yes, of course…

I would be more gentle and understanding to him had I known it.

[Sirenboobzilla]

Of course it's remain. It's not their fault that happened to them

[SnowedIn]

I'd stay with them.

[Lyndsielee666]

People actually said no to this…?

[Boomchakalaca]

My boyfriend 🫡

[DarkLegacy]

Personal choice

[Luopio27]

That is so dam wrong of him. He should be on your side.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Depends on how she is going forward. I know women that were raped a decade earlier that still can't have sex without crying. The twice a year that happens. That's a bit more than I signed up for. I also know women who have been raped and once dude was convicted they were pretty much back to 90% where they were before. That's still long term possibility.

[BootsLover94]

My wife was raped by her stepdad growing up so yeah

[Paige90]

I can't believe anyone said no!!

[jeffend888]

You've clearly never been with somebody who has been raped before.

[NotInterestedSorry]

@jeffend888 you have the impression that all rape victims/ survivors are the same. I was raped years ago and I have never once allowed my rape to affect my relationships. Reporting the rape immediately to the police and knowing the rape could be proven and the guy went to jail for years and also going to therapy helped me to not allow it mentally f me over. The only thing I would never allow in a relationship is hair pulling but other than that, being raped has never affected my relationships or my sex life. I even said if a doctor had to deliver my baby I wanted it to be a male doctor as I am more comfortable with male doctors as female doctors are judgy

[NotInterestedSorry]

@jeffend888 you wouldn't even know I had been raped unless I told you I had been.

[Paige90]

@jeffend888 My best friend was violently raped and they never caught him

[Jennz6]

@paige90 me either, that would be cruel xx

[DarkLegacy]

Personal choice

[4ngelic]

yea i wouldn't leave them for that

[MementoMori777]

I actually dated a rape victim, I loved her with all my heart and it didn't effect anything although I never brought up anything sexual and same vise versa, she broke up with me before we managed to meet up so it is what it is but I don't regret nothing tho

[AviatorTom]

Why would I hold that against her? The guy that raped her is the guy that should be punished, not her. I would support her the best that I can, and hope that would be enough.

[Bricealan]

She has stayed with me, and I have had my face 'forcefully sat on' many times by strangers!

[Agape93]

Why would I leave them for being the victim of a violent crime? I'm not THAT kind of monster.

[RavVid]

The situation would make a lot of difference. For example if she got blind drunk and accepted a ride from some guy she didn't know than I would question her judgement.

If someone broke in and raped her that is entirely different.

[Annie_LevelUP_ADC]

I'll stay with him, be there for him... And if the justice system fails him, I will find who did this to him. I believe that sometimes it takes a monster to kill a monster.

[Wonderingguyy]

Why wouldn't you be? It's not their fault

[Boomchakalaca]

Was i implying that i agreed. I dont.

[FunkyMonkee]

OF COURSE!! Why WOULDN'T I?

[Boomchakalaca]

Ud be surprised

[FunkyMonkee]

I'd be surprised at my own feelings?

[exitseven]

Yes, of course I would. It is an assault. Hopefully I would be able to give the raplist a proper beating

[DarkLegacy]

It is our personal choice sooo...

[Meropatrick]

Of course i would never leave them and i will support them. but what kind of a question is This.

The only time i might leave is if they asked me to. usually rape victims are unwell for a very long time i might be there to support them if they allow me. But i will break up in case they r overwhelmed with healing and dealing with it

[Boomchakalaca]

I brought this up bc my boyfriend of 5 years told me if i was raped he would leave and wouldn't hav sex with me. He would still support but that was just a red flag.

[Andres77]

I found out the hard way twice. In both cases I was dating a girl and we were sleeping together. I was woken out of a dead sleep by her, screaming no and pushing, and scratching in my face and kicking at me.
All I could do was grab her wrists and call her name until she woke up. In both cases they were having a nightmare about getting raped again.

It’s not the victims fault. And the emotional damage is far greater than the physical damage. She’s still paying a price. I don’t have any right to make her pay additionally, for what happened to her.

[Freyke]

Yes that is always going to be a yes.

[gothbxtch]

well yeah of course

[Jennz6]

I was raped and it doesn’t seem to matter to my sexual partners

[LemiaOfThunder]

Why would i break up with them because they were forced to have sex

[LiamJHayden]

Of course. Being sexually assaulting is not the same as cheating.

[DextroShade]

Yes, assuming she would still put out for me and not punish me for the actions of the rapist.

[BrookeS]

Of course, why wouldn't i. I was when i was a child and my girlfriend is still with me.

[dudeinohio]

Sure no problem

[Shamalien]

Of course I would. How could I abandon someone going through that? Even if she didn’t wanna have sex for a long time I would stay and cuddle her every night

[jeffend888]

Nope. That does not mean I am not empathetic towards all rape survivors.

But the mental anguish that is going to follow is not something I am equipped to deal with, nor do I want to deal with it.

[Agape93]

Then stay single if you can't be there for your partner when they need it most.

[jeffend888]

@Agape93 Or I just don't be with someone who has been raped. It's a pretty simple and better solution. Not sure what's so difficult there.

[Agape93]

Yeah, except a large amount of women have been or will be raped or sexually assaulted in life at least once. So what, you'll leave them once they are? Any idea how cruel and fucked up that is?

[jeffend888]

@Agape93 I didn't know I was required to be with someone. You do realize that people have the freedom to be with who they want to be with right? Regardless of the reason?

[Agape93]

And you have any idea how fucking cruel it is to do that to someone? Do the world a favor and be single, so someone doesn't suffer even further because of you.

[jeffend888]

@Agape93 OK well I can't help that you can't deal with what the overwhelming majority of men are truly thinking.

[Agape93]

Except most men aren't thinking like that. You are, and other cruel "men" are, who thankfully are a minority.

[LordOfThePines]

You're pretty well alone on this one. I have only heard of 2 men in my life to ever hold this view, and one was a literal psychopath. I truly and sincerely hope nobody you are with ever has this happen to them. They deserve better.

[Twalli]

She didn't choose to be raped. I didn't sever ties with my sister and she's been raped at least 3 times (maybe more).

[Kelly6]

yes.

[Jerre]

I would be out looking for the asshole that raped her, probably cut his dick off when I find him.

[Agape93]

Honey, no. That's wrong. Once you find him, you go back and comfort her. Leave cruel acts to the ones without empathy. I got it

[B4851]

It would have to be an extreme change in personality for me to say no. It would have been her fault, and I know she'd need support, but if she was basically a completely different person after, I'd have to consider all the situations.

[OddBeMe]

Aiding someone in trauma is hard and shouldn’t be ignored. Some can’t handle it. I would want to, but my emotional support mechanism is quite broken. So I couldn’t blame partners who’d distance the, selves. Especially if it hits the abused person hard (which I would think most would).

[rm_llort]

No because I don't tolerate false accusations, especially if they're to disguise their infidelity.

[NotInterestedSorry]

Not all rape claims are false accusations though. Mine definitely wasn't. I reported my rape immediately to the police. I had the evidence on my body and there was also evidence found where the rape took place. Plus he ended up confessing he had raped me to his girlfriend who gave a statement to the police. You saying no because you don't tolerate false accusations comes across like you are saying we are all liars.

[rm_llort]

@NotInterestedSorry well duh! All false accusations are lies.

[kakaling]

If you love her, you think for her, not for you. Just imagine how tough it's for her after being raped.

[TheMan35]

Of course, support!

[LordOfThePines]

Absolutely I would. I would never do something so horrible to my partner, especially not after someone violated them. No proper man, or human being, would abandon someone who needs them and trusts them to be there for them.

[Boomchakalaca]

My boyfriend said he’d leave if i was a rape victim🤒

[LordOfThePines]

You need a new boyfriend. That's awful.

[BLP11520]

Love and cherish ❤️❤️

[Mallic00]

... Honestly I don't know. You gotta be so careful with people like that, so patient and in my opinion sex is a core part of a healthy relationship and that's just not an option with a former rape victim.

[Anonymous]

Any women who claims to have been raped is a major red flag, unless it was a total stranger - attack. Otherwise her bad judgement entered into the equation.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, they'll need to give me an alibi for my meeting with the rapist

[Anonymous]

My SO was raped. I didn’t know for a very long time. I wanted to know who did it but it was a stranger in an empty house when she ran away at 15. She was drugged. Her friend was too as there were two of them and two rapists. It hasn’t changed much in our lives but I understand more now. Its all good for us.

[Opinion Owner]

And yes, the sex did suffer some. She is what some would call a starfish but also submissive. I need to initiate almost always. But its good. She orgasms every time, I do too. Some unexpected things include she won’t watch the movie Braveheart because of the new bride being taken against her will. I didn’t know she avoided the movie until years later. We own a copy of the movie. But overall, its normal to me, perhaps not to her. Although I am more sensitive to it now that I know.