Would you date a guy who has herpes?

I have lived with it for 8 years now and Girlfriend at the time had cheated on me and that's how I found out. Take medication for it when I have issues but mostly never even have problems because I take care of myself and know when I can and can't have sex or oral to ensure I don't pass it on.
0 0

Most Helpful Girls

  • I've lived with it for decades and from what I've read about it, there is no 100% guarantee you can give someone that they'll NEVER get herpes from you, EVEN if you use condoms all the time, are aware of precomedomic symptoms of an outbreak, AND use viral preventatives 100% of the time. The fact is you can virally SHED at ANY time. Even with no symptoms, even using viral preventatives 100% of the time. What is the percentage CHANCE of this? NYT 2014 article...

    ... Women are more likely to acquire HSV-2 from an infected male partner then men are from women. On average, the risk for women acquiring HSV-2 sexually from an infected partner is about 10 percent per year, though there is a large range — from 7 percent to 31 percent — in different studies.

    For uninfected men, the risk of sexually acquiring HSV-2 from an infected woman is about 4 percent per year.

    Condoms reduce the risk of transmission by about 30 percent, and DAILY suppressive therapy reduces the risk of transmission by about 48 percent, studies show. Using condoms and taking daily suppressive therapy reduces the risk even further than either measure alone, though studies were not large enough to provide reliable numbers...

  • A very large share of the population carries a variant or form of the herpes type 1 or type 2 which is dormant. Most of those people don't even know that they are carrier of it.

    Personally, I would not date a guy with type 1 or type 2 herpes just because I am not endorsing oral sex. Let's face it, most guys seem to prioritize that type of intercourse but to me that is a total red flag and a no go.

    My health and life is way too important to me to want to jeopardize it. Since HSV-1 can be transmitted to the genitals and HSV-2 to the lips, this is a situation that to me is not tolerable.

    Nothing will ever be able to reassure me that the person that has HSV-1/HSV-2 is indeed taking his medication and that he will inform his partner (s) that he is an active carrier of the virus. Too many cases have been verified that the carrier willfully failed to inform his partner (s).

    • For a reason that I don't know, I sent this reply anonymously. I never do that because I have the courage of my opinions. My profile name is @SueShe

    • You act as if herpes is a death sentence. It does not kill people like hepatitis infections due to severe liver damage or become a body destroying inflammation and body breakdown like HIV. It's an annoyance at worse. A careful, loving couple can avoid giving it to an uninfected partner. Condom and dental dam use has to be done. People are carriers, but they are not always ACTIVE carriers. Some have breakouts regularly, some rarely have breakouts. As you've stated some may have the virus and have NEVER had a breakout or had it once, watched it go away and thought they were fine. So you may be having sex with someone with herpes who is completely innocent of the knowledge of having it. If you are with someone who has herpes simplex 1 and they have a breakout, you should never kiss them or have oral sex with them during breakouts. Condoms provide great protection, as does oral medication. But as with birth control, there is no 100%. It is a manageable STD for most people. And for mature adults, they know not to be sloppy or careless with others. And to be honest. It is your choice not to expose yourself to it, but it will not kill or handicap you.

    • @Screenwriter Why take a infinitesimal risk if you can avoid it? I get your point but I prefer to have dormant HSV-1 rather than having to fear a breakout every once in a while being sexual.

    • Show All

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls Said

(3)
  • Date someone who has herpes already.
    It worked out well for me. ❤

    • Yes because that's easy to find someone...

    • Worked for me.

  • No I wouldn't. My personal health is very important to me.

  • Nope

    • Why not?