Would you let your 14 year old daughter. . . ?

Would you let your 14 year old daughter. . . ?
This image reminds me of the arguments that I occasionally hear on G@G regarding sexual assault: a woman has the right to dress however she chooses when she goes out in public, or to even walk down the street nude, and that does not authorize anyone to sexually assault her, so. . . don't you DARE tell her that the way she dresses may encourage sexually inappropriate behavior which targets her. If you suggest that she bears any responsibility, however slight, to take steps to protect herself, then you will be condemned to feminist hell!

I think that argument misses the point. If someone steals your car, they are criminally responsible, but you still don't leave the car unlocked and the keys in the ignition when you leave it parked somewhere in public, do you? You don't encourage criminal behavior.

Back to sexual assault. Suppose you had a 14 year old daughter who was at home unsupervised during the summer while school is in recess. She calls you at work and asks if she can invite one of her female friends and two boys to the house so they can all go skinny dipping in the pool. There is a privacy fence and no one else will see them; the kids doing what she proposed is not illegal. Would you give her permission to do that? Would you tell her "absolutely not!"? Would you let her make that decision? If you would not allow her to do this, why not? Her going nude in the presence of boys doesn't authorize them to touch her in any way and she has the right to dress or undress however she chooses, right?
Swimming bear ass in the pool!
Swimming bear ass in the pool!
If you choose this as your forum to simply say whatever you want without first addressing the question I asked, your response will be hidden. Please at least begin on topic!
Yes, I would allow it. She should have that right.
Vote A
No, I would NOT allow it. That would be a poor decision.
Vote B
I would allow her to make that decision.
Vote C
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  • You know it's actually really simple to just not be an asshole. Firstly a 14 year old would not ask permission to go skinny dipping with male friends. She would just do it.

    My friends and I all went skinny dipping in the ocean when we were 15 ish @smashingdoozy do you remember any of the guys getting sexual? Thinking that all of us being naked together was consent to do sexual activities?

    • Thanks for the self-righteous indignation, Karen, but I'll check back when you actually have a 14 year old daughter.

    • @aimee__lj Having checked my crystal ball. I sort of saw this ghostly message. As follows….. " nah we were just having fun splashing around. I think Cal ran out bc he got a boner and didn't want anyone to feel uncomfy Human bodies aren't sexual we just sexualize them but it's only appropriate in certain situations. Sexual situations are the only appropriate time, funny that. When I'm lying in just my underwear on the dressing room floor sick af, none of the guys in the same dressing room (boyfriend incl) were getting turned on because my tits were out. Funny how some people can't seem to grasp this concept. " The fog sort of cleared then.

  • No. Fourteen is too young to decide THAT one by herself.

  • Sorry honey but it's not going to happen.

    • But you said you couldn"t have kids so why do you care?

    • @Daniela1982 I am illustrating a point about the argument that women should be able to walk down the street naked and not be assaulted (with which I agree) so they have no need to take reasonable precautions against assault (with which I disagree.)

    • @Daniela1982 Yes your right. I can't. But if I could & did.

  • i would not allow it. i have no issue with nonsexual nudity within the family. but when other people are around, then why be naked? i personally wouldn't make a big deal out of her being naked anyway. but i will not openly condone it.

    • Yeah, I'm not opposed to nudity per se, but if you let adolescents (who are not from naturist families) of both sexes get naked without an adult chaperone, the odds are that something sexual will happen.

    • I'm ok with that. It's normal. Though my role as a dad dictates that i must not allow it.

  • B , have a 14 year old daughter , and a big NO !!

  • Teenagers are young ADULTS. They haven't yet experienced all of life and what it has to offer, so they are allowed to make mistakes or to enjoy their budding new sexuality. When I was that age we used to gather at the "ol' swimmin' hole". Sometimes just to swim and have fun, sometimes to skinny dip and play simple games that sometimes had sexual overtones without actual sex. I remember one girl, about my age, maybe we were 13 or 14, and she was hot stuff. I would go underwater and swim between her legs and let my hardon slide along her slit. Other times she would swim between my legs and either kiss my cock or run her hand over it.

    If you forbid her to have this kind of swimming party she will do it someplace else. It's better that you have some control over the party. But make it her choice and see where it goes.

  • HELL NO!

    • I agree!

  • I think it would really all depend? What do I know of my daughter? What friends are they? I would warn that if I find their is any hanky panky they will be in trouble. (Not that the same would be even more true if she invited the friends without my permission)

    • She is going to invite kids over, they are all going skinny dipping, and if ether hanky or panky occur, how will you learn about it?

  • Evil will always exist and can never be completely erased, all we can do is protect ourselves from it, and not doing that just for the sake of "freedom" is more foolish that brave.

  • That car analogy is erroneous. You can not encourage criminal behaviour by having your car unlocked. Many people can not even tell if it unlocked based on the model of the car. Plus a car thief will steal your car or break into it if they want to whether it is locked or not. What surprises me is that in some areas of the world people do leave their car doors unlocked or for that matter their house doors unlocked thinking that no one would ever walk in or steal anything. A lock is only good for honest people nothing more.

    Secondly it doesn't matter if a girl is 14, or 8, or 24 if she has friends she wants to hang with that is fine. But if anyone girl or guy tries to violate her whether she is clothed or not is unwarranted. Or for that matter if my own daughter assaulted a girl or guy sexually that is also not right. Sexual assault is no joke and the idea that just because you invite someone to see your naked or in a bikini or some stylish outfit is absurd. A person will sexually assaulted if they think they will get away with it no matter what situation you are in and no matter what you are wearing.

    • So if never makes sense to take precautions?

    • Don't take it out of context. This has nothing to do about taking precautions. Plus precautions can only take you so far. Again if someone really wants to hurt you or steal from you they will find away.

    • Yes, my post is about taking precautions.

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  • no a 14 year has no valid opinions on this topic, and its such a childish sign also

    you can't teach people not to rape. its not a problem of lack of knowledge

  • Once she is 18, even living at home, I wouldn't care and leave it to her discretion. Before she's 18 though, my house, my rules

  • Let her dress the way she wants... let her have fun with friends... but they go to a public pool... unless there grownups at home... at least one.

  • I don't have a 14 year old daughter, too much of a responsibility.

    • . . . but if you DID have one?

    • Then I would teach her values, but in today's world, who knows what would happen with sexting , internet porn, etc.

    • The question is whether you would allow her to invite another girl and two boys over to your house for skinny dipping while you are not present.

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  • “It’s unintelligible I just can’t get it through my skull” to quote good ol’ Weird Al of course it’s partially your fault you wear something provocative and then complain once a male reacts towards it like the animal the man is now obviously it’s mainly the man’s fault but if a girl decides to walk through an alley way with 85% of her skin showing then yeah that’s partially her fault it’s stupid to say it’s not it’s like putting up a sign that says “Attention all criminals the door to my house is unlocked and I have a vase in the middle of my table that’s worth over five thousand dollars” and then complaining that someone stole said vace

  • No, I wouldn't allow it. I think the underlying questions are: would she listen if I said no, and would she even bother to ask me.

    • I know the question is unrealistic but it is purely a hypothetical to point out that this reasoning about "I have the right to walk around naked and no one should touch me" is idealistic and not realistic.

  • I believe she's old enough to make that decision, but I'd tell her that I'd prefer not. I would tell her to be extremely careful though.

  • I’d honestly be more shocked that my daughter has any friends at all

  • If I was a parent, this would the way I'd do it: as long as she's under my roof, she will dress in a decent way

  • It's her decision I was 12-18 skinny dipping with girls