Would you rather be someone's first, someone's only or someone's last?

[InventorofWarp]

I just figured I'd post this since posting on another question made me think about this.
I've always waited for the right girl. I intend to hold onto those promises made to myself as a boy about waiting for the right girl until I die and I'm at the point where although insecure sometimes, I can think of worse ways to go than alone. My integrity and ideals I consider more important to me than hookups.
Hasn't changed since I was 9. Probably never will.
I took my promise ring off for a few years when I kinda gave up but I never really got rid of it, just locked it away for a bit before getting life closer to something desired.

But that's my take on my decision: I always thought it'd be romantic if I found a woman I liked one day and even if it's not til I'm 27 or 28, she ends up liking me and we get together and she learns I waited for her so she could be my first and hopefully only. Hopefully be something special.
Granted I've had a woman leave me over my virginity so, no, not all see it that way and I do think somewhat more realistically now: Fuck her and take the chance, bounce the bitch if she just wants dick.
Realistically idealistic.

As for my woman? I realized when I hit 18 I was already living in a world where teenagers probably fuck each other, so I'm told, I was just the abnormality. So really I've never had a problem with the notion that while I got told how ugly I was and had to be alone for a long time til I was 27 or so, she'll likely have fucked her way through a few guys in her teens-20s.
Honestly? I find this doesn't really bother me. If anything having someone to learn from and knowing she'd choose me over however many were inside her is actually a confidence booster. This is probably helped by the fact that, A: I once again realize I'm the fucking weird one in my decisions and it's natural for Human women to desire sex and, B: Honestly if I were a woman I'd probably be a slut too.

[loves2learn]

You are a really kind-hearted soul. I love this about you.
.
My husband and I were each others firsts and onlys. I was 18, he was 19, we married 5 years later.
.
I don’t know how I would feel abour being someone’s last. 😔 I imagine quite sad. I would hope the end of their life was thrilling and exciting being with me.

[InventorofWarp]

I would definitely not be able to deal with that. I had a girl I call my first love die when I was 15 and she crosses my thoughts every day. She was incredibly kind and beautiful. I'd rather die first out of my next (hopefully last/only relationship). However, having experienced that pain, even if I wasn't really together with said girl, I know what it's like to lose someone that close and how much it hurts and it haunts you for life. I'd never want someone else to know what that's like. Also assuming I marry the girl of my dreams, let's say my crush in the distant future, and spend years together and she goes first... that'd probably be it for me. The rest of my life would probably be spent alone dreaming of seeing her again and hoping she waits for me in death like I did for her in life. If I passed first I'd hope her heart would go on. Even though there's a part of me that'd be terrified because I believe in God and such and I'd be left wondering "what happens after, do I spend afterlife alone while she ends up with whoever after me?" But, that matters less to me. What matters to me, as usual, is what I do and like I said, I doubt I remarry or anything. Even if I lost her at like 35 or 45. Next 30-40 years of my life will be spent alone. And before anyone calls bullshit on that, my grandmother on my father's side lost her husband in 1974 at 41 and never remarried. She's currently 81 and one of the nicest people on the planet. That's pretty much how it'd go for me.

[loves2learn]

Man. I am sorry to hear about you losing someone so young. I don’t doubt what you say. My grandmother lost my grandfather when she was 60. Then she married his cousin and lost him 3 years later. Then she married again and lost him in her early 80s. She is going on 97 now and has not remarried again.

[InventorofWarp]

Also thank you for the compliment, I try my best. I kinda always wanted to hold onto my sense of innocence. Even though with my past in my teens and early 20s, I'm far from innocent anymore. And that scares me sometimes. And I'm scared maybe I wait too long and it really does become weird and undesirable and just not endearing or sweet anymore or anything and no one wants me. Hell, it probably is all that already. But there has to be SOMEONE out there who likes me, right? And finds it sweet? Integrity is the most important thing to me. Sometimes I'm scared by the time I meet someone she'll never be able to see who I was as a boy. I wasn't much different. Maybe having someone tell me the reason I've always been single isn't 'cause I was ugly but 'cause my personality was horrible just ate at me. But, I know I was sweet back then I just don't know why I was always overlooked. But I got high last night and I played Raging by Kygo on acoustic and then The Gates by Young Empires (my all-time favourite song that got me through some rough moments in life and the theme song to my life) and for this one minute it was weird. I was thinking about the woman I like and everything I want and I kinda felt like even if I have to wait til my 30s, I can still be that endlessly optimistic romantic I always want to be and just be genuinely a force of good and innocence in my corner of the world. I can have someone look at my eyes and see who I am and was as a boy and how I didn't change much as a man and held onto things as always. Was a nice little feeling getting lost for a minute in a good way. Plus if I keep my hair and I'm actually a good-looking guy in my 30s and 40s I'll be pretty happy. I'm definitely gonna have more tattoos. Fuck by the end of the year I'll already have about 30-35 across my body.

[InventorofWarp]

Jesus Christ. That is horrible. I should've used my Opa. In true German fashion he's lived a fucking horribly depressing life: His first wife (mein urgoßmutter und mein mutter's mutter) died in 1981 in Munich (car accident, not anything related to Communism). Him meeting mein Oma a couple years later was actually the catalyst for their flight back to Canada (mein mutter was born in Stuttgart, raised in Ottawa until age 15, then returned to Germany with mein Opa und Urgoßmutter to take care of his parents for their final years, then returned back at the height of the Communist Regime in 1984, crossing the Death Strip to reach West Germany). Mein Oma died just last year at 80 and at 82 this year Opa is dating a new woman but she's also not doing well so I'm told. I never spent decades with the girl I mentioned when I was a boy but we had a few years as friends and a couple just knowing kinda how we felt but I just didn't have a spine and never really thought anything I don't know. I met her when I was 8. Became good friends around 10-11. She even defended me from bullies more than once. And by 14 she was dead. I was 15. I remember I had actually JUST added her on Blackberry Messenger that week too (it was 2011 and everyone was just getting blackberries in middle school). Very kind, sweet, funny, beautiful girl who deserved better. She would've grown up to be one hell of a woman. I have to admit, she's also the reason I tend to tell women how I feel, usually choosing the wrong words, after like 2 weeks-1 month. Scared a good many off. Creeped others out. Ironically I've learned to keep it to myself again lately.

[loves2learn]

Well, FTR I do find it sweet and endearing. I have probably told you this before but you are an old soul. You don’t think like the others of your generation. I tend to think I am an old soul too. I was also shy and innocent looking in high school and ignored. Not sure what would have happened if my husband didn’t see me tbh.

[InventorofWarp]

If only the right women found it sweet and endearing. Still hope for the future I guess. I've always had crushes but none that ever panned out but that's only my fault really. Though to be fair, you don't control who you end up liking. Who knows? Maybe you would've fell into horribly low self-esteem and loneliness and gotten into drugs and alcohol like I did before someone changed you and you found your way back and realized things and people can change. But that's a long and hard road.

[loves2learn]

@inventorofwarp I got into drugs and alcohol anyway hun. ❤️ And yes. You cannot choose

[Azura_88]

All of the above.
Because I also wanted to love one, marry one and only fuck one. I'm a virgin.
But if he was fooled by 1-2 girls then it wasn't his fault. His intentions should be like me to love one and only person forever.
I wanna be his first true love, only one and the last one until I die. He will also be worshiped in a same way.

[MCheetah]

Someone's last. But I don't care if I'm either of the three options. As long as a girl hasn't been with more men than her age and her vagina is loose like a catcher's mitt, then I'm good.

[exitseven]

I would want to be somebody's only. Too bad it didn't work out like that.

[DarkLillysub]

I love being “the first” for girls or boys. I don’t care about being the only. But, I am curious about whose last I will be. I know I was a few people’s first before they got married.

[Libarena]

Last.

[JennieF]

Last.

[Anonymous]

I wanna be the last, and the only one after that lol