Would you say a woman is single because she doesn’t want a relationship or she's single because she hasn’t found the right person?


I’m going to be 30 soon & ask myself why I’m incapable of being in a relationship with a man, people can say that I’m picky but I don’t fully believe I should take all the blame. Female friends I’ve had in the past seem to get dates easier/are okay with putting out & some have unintentionally made me second guess my looks, as they seem to have it easier yet other people have told me I’m equally/more attractive than they are. The last time I “dated” someone was when I was in my early twenties & I’m glad that ended because this guy felt like settling. It justifies that love isn’t blind & it’s better to be alone vs being in a mediocre relationship. I know I’m not all that but I feel like I should be able to attract quality men, all my life I feel like I’ve been invisible to men. I’ve never been approached in person by a guy I’d like to date (don’t count dating apps) & the very few times someone told me that a guy found me attractive (normally a guy I also thought was attractive), they never told me directly & it was always word of mouth.

I feel like I am cursed, that last person I saw in my early twenties was through a dating app & that’s how I’ve met all of these men I’ve met up with. The apps are continually getting worse & they’ve always had a bad rep, getting matches are never an issue it just fails to go anywhere for a number of reasons. And sometimes when I’ve met guys in person & it didn’t work out, there’s just something about them that doesn’t live up to my expectations (even though they look like their pics). I’m unsure if my dating logic is unrealistic, dating apps are the only way for me to meet people & don’t understand how I can be this old & haven’t been in love yet.

The last thing I’ll add is my lack of sex drive, masturbation doesn’t do anything for me & I haven’t had sex since I saw that person back in my early twenties. However, it’s known that some women need to be in a healthy relationship in order to have that *sexual desire*.

Doesn’t actually want to date
Vote A
Hasn’t found the one
Vote B
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Superb Opinion

  • Speaking on a usual shy guy's behalf we don't usually go up to a woman we haven't met before and say can I have your number? Or can we go out? For one the woman may not be very open and likely is very judgmental especially if she is a woman looking for specific male features that not all men have like a really good looking face, taller than she is, full head of hair etc. Most times if the guy without those features approaches a woman to ask her out it can result in "Ew No", "Ew Creep" or worse embarrassment for the guy.
    To help avoid this scenario I believe most guys usually like to keep asking someone out, to people they've hung out with or at least met before and gotten to know on some level. Some top picks even shy guys might ask out is Friends, Acquaintances from work, a classmate, A friendly woman they've met sharing a hobby he enjoys and someone they've met online as well.
    But what makes a woman approachable to a guy? Well honestly I don't know but friendliness and being able to open up to that person you're wanting is helpful because it's just communication as long as your bar isn't set up so high that you avoid communicating with guys that try to talk to you

    I'd say a woman is single because some have a lot of expectations and wants that aren't always achievable or changeable for some men. Like a woman wanting a guy to be over 6ft, have fair or white complexion, a full head of hair, a hot body, a good looking face, most of these are things that women will judge for at first glance that would make her avoid even looking in the direction of a guy that could have been the type of guy that she could have actually enjoyed being with and possibly marrying. It's never bad to want what you want, but at some point if going after what you been wanting has only left you where you started then it may be time to make some changes to what you want. But I don't know you im only making a guess lol

Most Helpful Guy

  • When we meet a new interest a lot of us are to nervous, on edge. Give the guy the benefit of doubt about first impressions. The first impression saying is bullshit. And help him understand that you too are no expert at this. Then true actions start happening and you catch glimpses of who he really is as will he see you at ease. Never try to be at ease, be honest to yourself and damn the consequences. That is leading with the heart and not that thing of this world, our mind. Have fun. Look at the adventure in it. If this one fails there are thousands out there that will not. Just give it a chance. Have fun.

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 15
  • If you have a problem in every potential dating relationship, there are two possible explanations:

    1. There is something wrong with all men, or

    2. There is something wrong with you.

    Which is the more likely explanation?

  • I’m single becuase I haven’t found the long. I haven’t found a guy that loves me , drooling to give me a label and say he’s my boyfriend

  • I’m single and still haven’t found the right one yet

  • She’s probably a femcel

  • I feel I'm both now at 30. Once that 3-0 comes along i feel like; I'm happy acceptance bliss at single 😂 the women probably aren't far off 📴

  • A woman is single and that's that.

  • I'm almost 40 and just got out of a 2nd bad relationship. I'm happier being single. All I mostly attract is red apples then the green apples and the vibes I'm sending off is keeping the green apples away from me because I'm not ready for them

  • How many guys have approached and asked for your number this year?

  • It's typically because the guy she wants doesn't want her back. Woman although they don't like to admit it all chase the same archetype of man. What this means is that when they finally find the man they like he usually is taken.

  • There’s many reasons for being single maybe she’s not ready to date. Maybe she’s extremely shy. Maybe she doesn’t want the responsibility of having a serious relationship. Maybe she’s not mature enough it all depends on the person.

  • In some cases they are too picky physically, some cases just haven’t found someone they are compatible with personality wise, and some cases they legitimately prefer sleeping around and no strings attached lifestyle

  • Because she has not found the right person.

  • If you're not ugly as a mud bird, you should be able to attract guys. You either don't act interested enough for a guy to be inspired to ask you on a date, or have no social skills.

    • The way you interact with people may be the problem

  • Those aren't the only reasons

  • it’s not your fault… men want rich and dumb girls.

    • So I take it you never met a traditional man before?

    • @Taylor22424 for men everything is business

    • Ah, I get it. You can't attract traditional men... Which explains your answers...

    • Show All
  • Maybe she just wants to have fun. No baby is going to miss being born to her.

  • Because she did not find THAT person and why would you be in a relationship with someone without spark? I mean staying alone is perfect

  • I think many women overvalue themselves, measure their value based on the wrong factors, and/or don't understand how their personalities and behavior influences how men view them.

    • So you want them to change their personalities to suits a man? That's unfair!

    • @At3mis24 Where did I say that? I didn't suggest you do anything. You asked a question that made it clear you are wondering why you haven't had the success other women have. I gave you some possible reasons. Do with that what you choose. Good luck, I hope you find love and peace.

    • I don't nedd love, this is so freaking. I want to stay FREE and SINGLE to find peace. I don't have success because I'm very ugly. Case closed! All men are mean, I hate them!

    • Show All
  • At that age I say she’s single because she probably had too high standards. Not only that like a lot of women feel they’re all that w a bag of chips so they feel they deserve a top tier man when in reality they don’t.

  • Could be either or the third option, that she is insufferable and men won't go near her because of it.