Would you tell a friend that you fantasy them sexually?

I’m pretty much in love with my best friend for a year but I still don’t have the full courage to tell her about my feelings yet or destroy this friendship. Anyways lately I started having sexual thoughts about her too which is super awkward when she’s with me alone. And I can’t help being flirty with her sometimes while making jokes.
1 4

Most Helpful Guys

  • I mean there’s something tells me after you know all this time of being friends I’m pretty sure she has at least a little bit of a hint so you might want to go ahead and make a move and put the cards on the table and see where they lie. I understand that it can be scary to move forward in this manner knowing that there could be potential negative consequences, but can you truthfully say you’re happy living in this limbo world of yourself unsure about what you should or shouldn’t do?


    At least in my opinion you making a move is better than you living in limbo not moving forward one way or the other. Don’t get me wrong I understand it’s scary, but don’t you deserve more, and moreover the friendship is already affected; because at least one of the members of the friendship is not being told the straight up truth to. So keep lies and eventually lose everything anyways or tell truth and possibly have love. I get it that the downside is loss, but I certainly would rather lose having tried then to lose anyways having done nothing.


    In either case the decision is yours, but I do suggest that you make it instead of just living in this unknown world of insecurities and uncertainty; because you don’t want to pull the trigger and decide on your own path.


    I have should always be fought for and we should always try and cherish it for as much as we have it part of doing that is being willing to put yourself in a vulnerable position and take a leap of faith. Whatever comes good bad at least you chose for yourself and then that you can look back and have no regrets.


    I wish you luck in whatever decision you come up with and that should you succeed that you both find love and happiness with each other.

    • Thank you so much this is very inspiring and helpful

    • You’re welcome and good luck 👍

  • Don't think that would be a good idea since I'd get a punch in the face!

    Obviously, I do sometimes think of female friends sexually. But I try not to!

    Does she know about your sexuality though? Maybe if she knew about your sexuality she'd get more of a hint.

    • Also, telling someone you like someone sexually is a bit risky. Could be better to just tell her you like her a lot?

    • You could entice and seduce her and say you'll give her better head than any man :D

Most Helpful Girls

  • No, definitely not. But you should really make a decision as to whether or not you'll either give the idea of romantically being with her up and stay friends or telling her you have feelings for her. It's only gonna keep making things weird and you'll just feel worse overall trying to keep it in. Is she a lesbian or into girls at all?

    • No, she’s straight from what I know but who knows what she’s keeping to herself. She might be Bi like most girls and not showing it even to me. lol

    • Yeah but I wouldn't just assume that, if anything you should go in thinking that she's not into girls or just not into you because in either of those circumstances your friendship would either be over or it would be really weird and never the same again and you need to think about that outcome. I mean obviously if she reciprocates that's great but you need to think of all the outcomes because if you do confess and it doesn't go well you could loose your best friend.

  • this is a tough issue, you need to find out their feelings on les/bi thoughts and activities before you try something.

    If they are all about "yeah I've thought about it but just not finding a person to talk to" then you could say yeah me too and see where it goes from there but my experience says they don't open up that easily.

    • Yeah

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • She has been your best friend for a long time and she isn't aware that you are attracted to girls? Usually a close friend would pick up on that. If she doesn't have a clue that you are sexually attracted to her, then you should find out if she is into girls at all. That shouldn't be a problem because usually, female best friends confide in each other and share secrets that nobody else knows. I would do something like casually joke that a female celebritity you both know is so beautiful that she would make you turn bi, just to see what her reaction would be. If you find out that she possibly could have feelings for another girl, then try a little light flirting to see where that goes.

  • I have the same problem, but I'm married to a guy, and my fantasy is about 2 women I feel ashamed to be thinking about.

    • You love her or just sexual fantasies?

    • Oh I love her

  • Gotta be careful with that obviously because you are friends but also you don't want to over share all your thoughts. Keep that card in your pocket for later on if you and her have a relationship.

  • Nah, I respect my female friends too much to do that

    • But you do have sexual thoughts about them, right?

    • I have occasionally had them, yes.

  • Ugh that's not great, to have feelings for your bestie. It's really up to you but If you can't forget her, then you have to tell it now. Don't wait. And if she tells you that she just sees you as a good friend then your friendship is over. You could never be friends with someone you're attracted to...

  • Absolutely

  • No need to say a word.
    Any attractive girl knows that their male friends use her as jerk bait just by the look in their eyes.

  • personally id avoid telling them, or anyone for that matter, i just feel like it could def ruin shit, mostly if they dont fuck wit it and then you got that whole awkward situation

    • It’s what I’m trying to do here but it’s not that easy

    • i know, i can't imagine it but whatever floats your boat, lmk how it goes tho, im curious on the outcome lol

    • What do you expect? lol

    • Show All
  • Male friends are always backup boyfriends.

  • Only if I had a hunch she felt the same way, or she asked me.

  • You have to be willing to take the L.

  • Yes.

  • Sure! I tell Her all the time.

  • No. I do have female friends and I think sexual thoughts about them, it’s natural. Ha.

    • In love with them?

    • Not in love with them but I’m sure that would happen eventually if I ever got to be with them sexually.

  • Next time you see her, hold up two fingers and lick between them.

  • You're right, that's frustrating because you want to tell her badly how you feel about her, and at the same time you don't want to risk damaging your friendship.

    • Yeah exactly

    • Do you know how she feels about you?

    • Yeah she loves me so much but our love for each other’s is different

    • Show All
  • That is a tough one.

  • Doesn't that then prove that there's no such things and "just friends"

    Are you gay or "bi"?

    • I guess! I’m a lesbian 🏳️‍🌈❤️

    • So then why are you on a site called girls ask guys

    • You have a problem with me being here?

    • Show All
  • Have you talked to her about your friendship and closeness at all? Test the waters see what the risk is like?

    • Hopefully I will at some point

    • Just be casual about it and test the waters lightly

  • Its probably best not to

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