Would you worry if all the people you date make you a fling?

I've noticed that although I make it clear I want a relationship very quickly they turn into a sex thing. Whereby the guys only want to meet up sporadically and just for sex.
They might say initially they're looking for a relationship but very quickly I notice actually they don't have the time for me.
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Superb Opinion

  • I was in a relationship there was no good and it took me like eight months to get her out of my house a couple minutes later a couple of her friends came over at different times and it will let you know how things are going and one of my friends came over a different time and wanted to know how things were going and all three of them wanted to date and I said I'm sorry but I just was not into it that that girl took a toll on me and me being a smart-ass I said if you wanted to be friends with benefits I could probably handle that and all three of them said yes it was one of the best times that I've ever had it was with all three of them I became very close with them because the way it all happened I was just joking around with them when I said it but they said yes to it and I couldn't believe it and I told him I said okay look there has to be rules and I told them I was just joking they said they didn't care and I said okay there has to be rules I said the moment you say I love you I miss you I need you I want you it's going to end it'll be over let's just be friends and let's see where it goes and it all happened in the same fight time. One night one would come over next night another one with come over and so on but it was one of the best times of my life because I would so open and that is straight-up honest this is the only way we can do it if you ever say I love you Venice over but if you can do that without any strings attached and you can really be yourself it's one of the most beautiful things ever it taught me a lot I didn't think I was going to be dating for a long. Of time and it was just beautiful even though I did it those three girls all at the basically the same time it wasn't really dating it was just fucking it was having fun with each other being open-minded just being friends good friends one of the best experiences that I've ever had come to find out two of them were in a relationship already but they weren't happy the other one ended up moving away and going to school but you learned something very very good when this happens I'm friends with every girl I've ever dated except for the one that I broke up with right before these girls that you will learn something if the person is truthful is fun to be around with that is honest with you that's the best part is actually a closer relationship than a couple of my relationships and we're still friends to this day that's the best part about it

Most Helpful Guy

  • That's why I hold off on sex. It's one of the few ironclad rules I have in a relationship. We're not having sex until I'm ready. If you want to wait longer, that's fine, but my time is set and won't change. Granted if you want to wait past 2 years it's better that we break up now.

    • Thing is I always have sex when I'm ready. But I think it's safe to say perhaps I was too eager

Most Helpful Girls

  • Thats why im scared to have sex earlier on. In general, I feel Its very rare that the guy sticks around after he gets laid. So if he can't wait a while, he isn't for me. And if they wait a while but still leave after, at least im more at peace knowing i didn't jump in so soon. How often does this pattern happen for you?

    • Nearly every time I date... I don't have sex too early on generally and I haven't had sex for about 3 years... This guy and I are currently awaiting date 5 and yes we had some activities early on but initially it only seemed to make him more keen but we have hit a brick wall where he doesn't make plans unless I ask. And if he does he ends up having to cancel. Last time die to being ill this time because his friend needed to meet up in the city rather than closer to my house... I've invited him out on the 20th but we'll see if he cancels again.

    • He cancels so much that you should already cancel put the option of giving him pussy lol. I think you should move on to the next fish in the sea. And how do dates work? Like yea I've been on dated but i can't go by how many dates. We could go out 5 days in a row and no way is he gettin sex by day 5. I personally go based off months and actions rather than dates. I say actions because months gives you time to see if there's a pattern of the flakiness and so on

    • I hear what you're saying. Honestly of all the guys I've met so far he has been the most kindest guy. But yea as the others have said. They're all the same.

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  • So sorry to hear this. It seems so much focus is on instant gratification versus long-term enjoyment of a partner/significant other. Men like to have sex, that holds true in our household. It would seem that a lot of young men put more emphasis on variety rather than stability.

    • Honestly I just don't know what to do or say anymore. I'm incredibly lonely if I'm being honest. I didn't think I was until he canceled our plans tonight. I feel like my existence is meaningless tbh. No real life friends, and this crappy dating situation...

    • It would seem that you should recall the times in your life that we’re happier. Perhaps you had some activities that you enjoy doing socially or even alone. Revert back to a happier time in your life and don’t worry about your age. Even the people we detest are worth some thing in this life. You certainly have some value to those around you and your family.

    • *were

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 16
  • Yep, been there done that... lots of liars who just want sex. They say they want kids, family and marriage but if you start doing that, their true colors come out and they take off.

    Don't do it is the best motto.

  • Because you're giving them what they want early on. They don't have to work for intimacy because you're getting right to it before getting to know who they are. You're having sex without really knowing who you're having sex with.

    • Tbh this guy and I were talking on a app for over a month before our first date. And the first date went so well talking well into the night. From 7 til last train. It was very easy for us because we had actually covered so much before about ourselves. Also we're born the same month, so there were instant similarities...

    • But I hear what you are saying

    • Yeah I get it. I've been there too many times. And this is without even having sex with them. I just feel like a lot of people are into hooking up and not onto building something that will last.

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  • I think it’s all about target audience, where do you meet them? And how fast does it go? A club is not a place for men are looking for a long term partner but a church would be.

  • I would break up with. them loyalty is. not something I tolerate or disloyalty.

  • I have similar experiences.

    • I'm sorry Taylor. It's not nice at all. I want someone for me...

    • Same

  • I would worry if this happened to me

  • They're obviously not relationship material, so it shouldn't bother you. However, you need to rethink how you're meeting guys so that you find what you're looking for.

  • Yes, I would worry that is why I'm careful who I choose to date

  • I would worry about that. You might not be fishing in the right pond.

  • Multiple relationships in different ways is good with me. Sometimes it's mutual like we want to keep dating more people but not be monogamous. So we can be date flings, talk about other partners too.

  • A little, I'd want at minimum a friends with benefits, but would prefer a full relationship.

  • Nah. They are the ones missing out

  • If you put out without serious commitment then you are a fling

  • Well guys are like that. Guys look for specific character/personality traits in a girl for a relationship

    • Meaning?

  • Simply put this means you're not relationship material but you are sexually attractive. So first off congrats on being a hottie! Age is a factor at 31 it will be way harder to find a serious relationship. There may be other factors at play but since I don't know you I can't say.

  • I wouldn't worry if I knew the person whom I was meeting in?

  • everyone wants what they want

    • Sad!

    • yes it is

    • For the people that get married and it works I really take my hat off to them. I'm pretty much giving up

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  • More time for self 🙂

  • Girls can put out a certain energy/vibe that tells a guy weather she's been around a lot, had lots of sex or flings, etc. Guys dont want a girl who has had a promiscuous past. Those girls are just practice for him if he's classless and thirsty. Gentlemen would just keep moving forward and looking for a woman unscathed or minimally at the very least.

  • You're giving it up too fast and easily.

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