Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
You might already be selling your body
I realize that this kind of a title might raise a lot of controversy, but hear me out. We've become accustomed to hearing all kinds of things about prostitution, and, more importantly, prostitutes, especially of the female kind.
Our society has a truly dualistic stance on sex in general - it is both taboo and something freely talked about. At the same time. This is because some things about sex can be said in public using a different tone, and some subjects are far easier to talk about than others.
But then, we get to prostitution. It's obvious why we have problems talking about it - there are not only many different types of prostitution, but there's also social stigma regarding sexual workers in general. They are looked down upon, degraded, sometimes even considered to be less human, people are disgusted by the prospect of "selling your body" so shamelessly, and so on.
What if I told you you might already be selling your body?
Shocking, I know, and you probably know where this is going. But imagine this: A person casually working their nine to five shift in a cold, uncomfortable office. They have a fixed wage and a fixed working time at their workplace, and if they do something they are not supposed to do (mistreat the client, prolong their lunch break, etc), they'll get punished in some way. Their paycheck might be cut a bit, or they might get demoted, or fired.
Getting less money means that you're going to find it less easy to go around making your life happen the way you had imagined it. I mean, granted, you already are not living the way you want if you have a pretty bad office job, true, but at least you somehow manage. But now you have less money and it gets even worse. Maybe you just might not get to surprise your SO with a nice anniversary gift, maybe you won't go to that nice vacation after all, or, worse yet, you might even have to resort to food stamps if you're having it pretty bad.
So this is what it boils down to: You do work, you earn money, and ultimately you have the freedom to live your life the way you want to. The less money you have, the more dependent on others you are, and the less free you are.
Now, I understand what you might be thinking by now. First, what the hell does this have to do with prostitution, and why am I treating readers like imbeciles who don't know what the money is for?
But refer to the question I asked above. You have a contract that binds you to do certain things at a certain time. That's what (some) jobs are. Haven't you sold your time to somebody, for a monetary compensation? You cannot freely decide where your body is going to be at that time, what you are going to do, or who you're going to do it with. You are bound to follow somebody else's rules, somebody who has the upper hand over you (let's say it's a CEO at the top level), and that's your position.
You want to buy food, you want to treat your SO something nice, you want to pay the bills, and so on. You want all those things, but you had to sacrifice something dear to you to get there. You sacrificed your time... and, arguably, your body.
You can be abused at your workplace in certain ways and sometimes you won't be able to do anything about it. You will be looked down by the higher ups, and you won't have many prospects for future. You are bound to serve and do what you are asked to, IF you want the paycheck, but obviously you want it because your ability to support your family hangs on it. It is not like you truly have much freedom, if you're already in a workplace like that.
And then, as usual, we have prostitution. A lot of the time, prostitution is some shady business all around the world. The "workplace" is often associated with human trafficking, drug abuse, gangs and so on, really nasty stuff in general. However, in places where it is legalized, it seems that things can be much much better, and sexual workers have a much better fate.
Except for, you know, they are still looked down upon. Because they are selling their body. How can anybody do that? What makes one do that?
Well, remember the whole deal with the shitty office job I outlined above? A prostitute can be in that exact position, even if the whole deal is legal. She's selling her body to men who want to do kinky stuff to her as much as somebody answering calls to clients they don't care about. The only difference is that the service she's selling is sex.
And let me get one thing straight - people have casual sex all the time all around the globe. Even in places where casual sex is regarded as something normal and healthy, sex workers still get looked down upon because... reasons? If it is legal to perform a service for free, why is it suddenly illegal to do it for money? You do not need a contract to have sex with somebody, but in many places, prostitution is illegal, again, because... reasons.
But even if it is legal, it's just mind blowing how majority of people just happen to be incapable of seeing it simply as a job. It HAS to have some societal implications, even if the same people who condemn such behavior happily go for one night stands and casual sex relationships.
Sure, working at McDonalds or having a shitty office job can paint you as a person with little future, but there's no greater stigma than that of being a sex worker.
I personally know (legal) sex workers who earn good money doing what they are doing. They know they have a time limit on their job. But guess what, they are actually pretty well off. Because in places where prostitution is legal, it is also likely to be well paying if you're doing well. Compared to a shitty office job, this means that this job is actually superior in some ways. You earn some good money, for the same number of hours you'd otherwise spend in a shitty office job.
And then somebody is going to tell those girls that they don't respect themselves enough or that they are selling their bodies.
In my opinion, if you are stuck with a shitty, boring and repetitive job that underpays you, you are very well selling both your tine and body to somebody who has the upper hand, and if you're well off as a sex worker (good company, condom policies and general safety, well paid), you are selling your tine and body less because you're getting more for what you do and how long you have to do it.
Now, you can say, I am comparing a really bad office job to a legal prostitute job that is well paid and treats the employees well, how is that fair? Well, you're completely right, it absolutely isn't. Just like it isn't fair to disrespect sex workers based on what they do.
Somehow, it is both okay to respect a CEO that abuses his workforce, and the workforce he is abusing (we still respect them in different ways as a society, but let's not go there...), BUT say that you respect prostitutes for what they do, and suddenly shit starts flying.
I could have expanded this to entertain some religious thoughts and general hypocrisy regarding what people respect vs what they do, but I do not think it's necessary. I've made my point and it is that we're somehow taught to unquestionably disrespect sexual workers based on their job description, completely ignoring all the other factors, meanwhile also respecting somebody who might as well be using other people (a "successful" CEO who only keeps gains for himself but the company does not crumble because his workers are basically enslaved).
But in the end, either everybody who works for an employer is selling their body, or nobody is, in my opinion, because sex itself is just not specific enough to warrant its own category of morals as far as jobs go. We don't have any other, more meaningful categories thought of in our society, and sex should really not be any sort of an exception, despite what we're traditionally lead to believe.
This myTake is dangerously convoluted because it followed my train of thought, and is not necessarily formatted to be a good article in and of itself, so if the order of things I've said makes little sense, it's because I am wired to think in that direction, and is not a decision made upon the idea of how a reader might enjoy this text more. I also haven't used any specific headings past the title, nor do I intend to add pictures, this article is mainly food for thought, to be consumed in a linear way because I'm expanding ideas in such fashion.
What Girls & Guys Said
9 31Anybody else only click because of the high heels and stockings pic?
As someone who actually had a relative spend years as a sex worker... I would not wish that on anyone.
Would like to know more if you're comfortable elaborating. Can mail me if you want. What forced her in sex work anyways.
@Oram52 As I said, the main problem regarding that is the law system in US, mainly. I have a friend who's supporting her daughter and handicapped husband in Switzerland, she makes a good living, and they are a very open minded and decent family in general. But yeah, if you have to deal with the nasty stuff like pimps, drugs and human trafficking, it's going to eb terrible.
I agree we are all working for somone and have little freedom over our body for at least 8 hours a day (more than for family). Sex workers in south Korea actually held a rally for them to continue working when the gov tried to deny them work.
Massages skin to skin is ok, but not lips to sensitive organs or sensitive organs to sensitive organ? The issue is actually people/gov regulating a persons arousal and orgasm. Literally.
Hypothetically, if 2 people are incapable of orgasms and they have intercourse is it still illegal?
Then there is the alimony. Why is it law for marriage and not gf/bf? It seems like a value is being placed on sex since it is 2016 and we can all work/live independently.
We 'sell' ourselves for money all the time. So what?
Here is the thing, mr "deconstruction", if people WANT to 'sell' themselves they should totally have the right to. Doing any job, at will, for money, is completely acceptable. Its called 'exchange'. So long as there is supply and demand (which will always be), people will be doing exchange regardless of what type.
"Duh we are selling ourselves how inhumane society is fuck capitalism lol xddd"
Guess i should call myself a "deconstructor" as well.
The whole point of this was exactly to signify that's what we are doing. It is neither bad or wrong, that's just how things are. I am just saying that we are hypocritical as a society when it comes to prostitution in particular. You should read a bit more carefully next time, I do not disagree with you at all, the fact that I don't shame anybody for selling their body should give you a hint. There's no actual shame in selling your body/time, that's how the world works. I could argue I've sold my body to some of my friends too, by doing work for them. All we do in our society is give AND take. That's why it works, that's why I don't have to grow my own food, but likewise a farmer does not have to learn programming. TL;DR: My entire post was dedicated to the idea that selling your body/time is, in fact, fine, and that's how the society works. PS: My name has little to do with a deconstructive approach, and more so with Devin Townsend's Album Deconstruction, one of my favorite.
Been saying this for years. Every professional athelete "sells" his body. If you can understand that then you can take off from there and really understand everybody "sells" everything. Selling sex is just selling another commodity.
First of all you are probably get offended by this response because I will openly discuss a little aspect of my life and it you (the article writer wish to discuss privately feel free. First of all I'm not going to worry about proper English or punctuation I don't really care if you do then don't read. Ok so on a FEDERAL level inside the USA of you are sexually harassed at your job place that is not ok and is needed to be formally reported to HR and dealt with you as the victim is not the person that will get in trouble. This article is a little older group then I'm used to see but I'm glad you had the guts to write about it I'm going to touch a few subjects. Yes there are in/out office studies and we could fight back and forth about % chart levels but if you haven't lived the situation (I've not sold for sex) and personally I don't share my girl doesn't matter the financial situation if you're in that serious of a relationship I would assume that you are sharing your income with another.. Speaking from someone that comes from a background where that isn't a subject anymore I'd much rather a hand written "coupon book" like she call-in sick to spend the day with me, massage, sometimes shed sneak one saying I owe her a massage... things like that are more important physical things are just that objects and can be taken or lost but memories trust love aren't things that easily go away. Now a closer look to my experience my most recent ex turnes out that since me she's chosen that life style the reasons don't matter however she has children under 18 and is bringing these guys to her house is that right? I hope you would say NO! She had a man that would given her the world, our age difference and outside influence is what broke us because her being older she couldn't handle it further... ok so my ex went to become a "sugar baby/more obvious gold digger" now a professional prostitute they don't do 5+ appointments a day if they're legal they charge 5k a hour depending on the situation.
But they don't look at it as selling their bodies, they say they're higher paid psychologists. Now most of the time they break it down to a 90% who want just sex the remaining different situation. The best person that you can talk to yes talk or watch a movie with if you're feeling lonely I would say is one of those ladies, sex wasn't something I was interested in just sex but more company. There are SO many other topics you don't cover that need to be added, like the fact of the medical testing, how they truly feel about themselves because they have very different stories. I believe you were asking if it's ok to fall info that slope as any drug well sex has side effects as well... be well and don't risk your life or your relationship or health because you think selling services will fix your situation it is extremely dangerous and WILL ruin a true love and a bond with who you are current relationship.
However I have recently wondered if I'd be safer to sign a contract for a year at a agreed amount to have "a girlfriend experience" without the true girlfriend expense. (Yes that sounds bad but it's true) either way I don't think anyone wouldn't not agree to that. I just want real love if I haven't lost my perfect fit soulmate already because she got mixed with a BAD person. Either way I want to have something money doesn't buy love/faith/trust/sex everything. If I left something out you want more from private contact me and I'll try to explain further.
I'm not a bad looking guy but I don't have the time or the desire to deal with dating today. What happened to getting to know another before trying to get into my pants it makes no sense to me. I believe in love at first kiss, a relationship built on friendship and trust... that can most quickly or slowly depending on honesty and connection. Have a good day and sorry for the 4 part response
Clever myTake love it!
There should be no emotions in an exchange of goods. no matter if it's sex or groceries pay for your item and go home. Pay for sex if you want to. get it for free if you can. good luck on your way.
Someone who works at Hooters most likely makes more money than someone at a regular diner, some enjoy using their bodies to enhance the service they are providing especially in the entertainment field, nothing wrong with that. It's other people opinions that condone it, either because they can't or they are jealous. Many people choose the way they earn money through the opinions or approval of others whether they know it or not. What about when a man takes a women to the movies, dinner or some event and pays for it, and later enjoys having sex with her, isn't that like paying for sex. What about having sex first, then going out for dinner or some event, now this would improper. It's the same thing, sex for service. I've bought some groceries and baby items for my friend in exchange for casual sex, now does that make her a prostitute. Helping someone with money or service for exchange of casual sex is prostitution? No it's not. It's people who are better off see it that way. What about women who don't work, living with a working man paying for everything, isn't that in some ways paying for sex. What about those whose most of their time is taking up in their careers, both man or women, pay for it. In some way or another everyone is paying for sex, it's how we looked at it. Take the ones who are better off and put them through some hard times, they might look at it whole lot different. If a women enjoys it, go for it, have fun making money.
What an absolute load of garbage. This is a total non-sequitur. The difference between an ordinary worker and a prostitute is body integrity, office workers have body integrity where prostitutes do not. Office workers sell their time and labor but any attempt to enter the personal space of the worker can be met by a sexual discrimination or harassment lawsuit. Prostitutes sell intimacy, intimacy is forbidden in the work place, big difference.
All the women I have paid for sex (about 100 in all over the years) have made it very obvious that they were enjoying it, and said that they wanted a lot of sex, and being "on the game" was the best way to get it. Some have said that being paid makes them feel really valued and wanted, and is part of the turn-on.
Love this. I personally have nothing against sex workers nor do I think less of them... I do however think less of Johns though.
Ridiculous! You can't have one without the other.
@guylow Those people are usually doing what they need to to survive. Many Prostitutes did not even choose that life, many are kidnapped and forced, others had no means to feed their young or themselves, others because they had no where to go, many are tricked and held against their will, most feel like they have no place to go and no other use. The reason this problem persists is because of the people who feel entitled and are willing to pay for it. Get rid of demand then there is no need for supply. The problem isn't those who fall prey but those who make them prey. This is my opinion, I don't expect you to share it. But I agree that there is nothing wrong with sex workers, many times they are strong people who have been through a whole lot.
@guylow I agree you can't have one without the other. I don't think that their should be either. Same with slaves. There is nothing wrong with being one but something wrong with owning them. I have no problems with the cogs in the machine but the machine it's self.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to get laid as a guy? If you're going bat shit crazy, which happens after a long period of time without sex, it's better to pay and get the job done that go off the tracks 100% No I don't pay for sex, never would, but to judge someone for paying for a service that has been around longer than any currently existing other service is kind of foolish.
@Gommers Why is it foolish? Why just except something just because it's been around for so long? If you believe something is wrong then you shouldn't just except it. It's history is horrid. Sex trafficking and slavery are both very old, going back as far as we know... neither is right or okay. I think just being okay with something because it's old is foolish.
I'm not okay with it, but it's something that is, was, and always will be. It's an service industry that costs nothing if you're born with the tools and will always exist as a way to make a quick buck for people that have habits to feed.
As for your remark I on society being too sexually open being subjective to opinion I really don't think it is if everyone would establish the facts. Consult any psychological board or even look at a few of the post of men & women asking for help on this site. Many people have a hard time distinguishing between love & sexual attraction, it's part of being human. It's hard enough for many people to find love as it is. Love creates happiness which contributes to a more civilized society. If we become more sexually open as a society too quickly it creates more confusion, making the search for love more difficult.
@Jujulius You can't change facts just because you don't like them. The reality is that the sex trade is a no cost introduction to a high pay, low hours industry and will exist in all periods of history. Sex is the real currency and definer of value, money is just one path to it. So selling sex for money is just basically banking for women who work in the sex trade. It's a way to get what you need when you needed it.
@Gommers You get that most women don't choose that though and really aren't banking anything. Ever hear of sex trafficking? Because most woman don't want to put themselves in that position many are tricked or straight up kidnapped. Also young girls under 18 that run away are pretty much are pretty much owned by their pimps and really given no other choices. if they try to escape they are looking at beatings, maybe even death and if they do get away then what... they will have nothing and be in the same position as they were in before homeless, starving on the streets. I do get that more men are more concerned with getting their jollies than human suffering but that doesn't mean that it isn't absolutely wrong. If we could fight against those buying the product then there wouldn't be so much demand. If Sex traffickers stop seeing enough reward they will stop taking the risk of kidnapping & tricking these woman. Pay out wouldn't be worth it. There for - Less Demand, less supply.
@Gommers I get it may be unrealistic, but ending slavery seemed that way at one point too, and so did the idea of the internet. Anything is possible though if more people start to open their eyes and realize how detrimental it is to both society and those poor woman.
I wish I couldn't believe how naive you are, but the sad reality is that I can.
@Gommers I rather be naive than jaded. I rather dream big then not at all. Call it whatever you want but I don't see the point is just excepting things because they just are... But agree to disagree I suppose :D. Have a good day!
I'd rather be right than wrong. But hey, if you're cool with being a fool, by all means clown on.
@Gommers And how exactly are you right and i am wrong? Did I say that Prositition was going to end? I'm kind of lost as to what your argument even is other then since it's always been it'll always be. Perhaps. I just said that I don't think it's right, and when you don't think something right then why not voice it. Many countries have started putting laws in place that punish John's because they have came to the same conclusion that I have about supply and demand... that is how an industry works after all. Listen, I am not name calling or trying to belittle your opinion at all (which I am still not even 100% on), it's your opinion even if I don't (?) agree with it.
"I do however think less of Johns though." Even female Johns?
@Bysshe Yes, all John's male or female. Anyone who is paying someone for sex.
Guess what, when you put out after a nice dinner or a great date... You're just a self justified whore just the same. Don't pretend that you're any better than someone buying or selling sex, because you are too; it's just bartering instead of physical cash in hand business.
@Gommers Except that person wants to have sex with me and I with him. I'm not buying them. I am not forcing someone who would run the other way if they saw me in the street but has to sleep with me because they needed the money and now they owe me a service even though they will most likely feel disgusted and defiled after. Let's not pretend like it's the same esp. when a lot of those girls were sex trafficked. They didn't choose this life to begin with and really don't have a choice. But the guys going there don't care at all, 'cause she is not a person just a means to an end instead of a person who may currently be prisioner of sexual slavery of a form of it. Asking a desperate person to barter sex is wrong, I've never met anyone that desperate for dinner... if they are not feeling it they leave. Many date for along time before feeling the intimacy that they feel is needed for sex. There is no need for sex unless you want to do it.
@Gommers I'd never try to demean a sex worker. Most of those woman have been to hell and back. that is a rough, scary job and you have to be strong to be able to do it and not crumble under the weight of yourself. I'd love to find a way to help them get out but problem becomes once you get someone out they just get replaced and that's if you aren't hunted down. I remember talking to a woman once who couldn't leave because they'd go back and take more woman from her village and she had family there. The demand needs to be thwarted to help these poor people. We aren't going to agree here. We think way differently. As I have said different strokes for different folks.
Absolutely spot on. So as a model my agency is a pimp?
I object to the word sell.
Face it. We're all up for rent (NOT for sale.)
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An office worker will offer his knowledge and brains at a medium price.
A doctor will offer his knowledge and brains at a high price.
A surgeon will offer his dexterity, knowledge and brains at a very high price.
A lawyer will offer his knowledge, eloquence and brains at a very high price.
A teacher will offer his knowledge, eloquence and brains at a lower price.
A cleaning person will offer knowledge, and muscle at a lower price.
A prostitute will offer her naughty bits (Not much knowledge, brains or muscle.) at a very high price.
Some of these will be very tired at the end of the day.
Some of these will be ill because of their job after some time.
In my opinion, for the money she earns, a prostitute is highly overvalued.
That's why I don't respect them.
I met some prostitutes on the internet and discussed with them. Y'all know I'm a strange guy: I did not ask a single word about sex. Not about their bodies, not about their looks. I talked with them about money and about how they think about 'common' people. Enlightening! I could have respected them, on philosophical and theoretical grounds. But what I read on my screen destroyed all respect. For eternity plus one day.
I will agree with you that what we are doing is more so RENTAL of our body/time. But I won't say that I disrespect prostitutes based on the fact that what they are doing takes (kind of) less effort than what I do. As somebody who works in IT, my job can get very stressful and I have to constantly learn things. But I eventually get paid pretty well for what I am doing, and I love my job. If somebody else works as a prostitute, I will respect their choice as well. There are certainly jobs that take less effort and return more money than my job does, but I don't see a need to disrespect people who do those things. I could have as well done many jobs that'd give me more money than my current one, compared to the amount of effort I'd put in. But I didn't. It's my personal choice to invest in myself and my tools and work off them and earn money. Nobody forced me to do this, so I respect everyone's choice, unless they are scamming other people (new age gurus and similar).
I disrespect prostitutes because of the high income they have and the way they despise people who aren't in the same 'business', either as prostitutes or as pimps. The way they judge themselves and their pimps smarter than you or me or whoever. I do not despise girls who offer their naughty bits for free to anyone! But , of course, to 'feel good' in society despite their 'occupation', they psychologically NEED that kind of contempt. Thus I understand it but understanding it doesn't mean accepting it.
I have not experienced what you're talking about, all sex workers I know are really down to earth.
I didn't speak to them in their 'function', I chatted with them during their free hours, while they waiting for johns or for a call to see some john.
Neither did I, I don't actually pay for that service, so I was never in position to speak to them "in function". I just happen to have friends who are prostitutes and they are normal people.
@Deconstruction They're normal people , indeed , but their view on money and the way to earn it is horribly twisted.
Marriage is the most expensive form of prostitution
Anonymous (18-24) And if your wife works marriage is pimping in your opinion?
@jacquesvol most the time the man makes the most
@ Anonymous Some pimps have high 'incomes' from other activities than just their pimping.
So your argument is that prostitution should be legalized and taken into better consideration because it is the same thing as working a regular job, only you have to have sex? I disagree, my main reason being that it puts women at risk of having to perform duties that they are not comfortable with or are not necessarily paid to do. It could spread STD or result in unwanted pregnancy. Who would want to be pref ant with a man that they had sex with while on the job. And your excuse could be "Condoms, duh?" But sex makes people act out, and there is no gaurentee that anyone would be willing to abide by rules. But I don't know, I don't even really care. I'm just saying
In Switzerland you can work as a legal prostitute and you are not forced to have sex with anybody just because they'll pay. If you think sex is dangerous, well... Think of all the people working in mines or construction sites.
The majority of prostitues always get checked for STDs and want Johns to wear a condom because an STD is bad for business. If prositution was legal, there would be better regulations and health check ups for these women so STDs would decrease.
The main reason prostitution was prohibited was the material protection of the family as unit of society: -To stop ill paid men from spending their wages on them (the same reason gambling was often prohibited.) Protecting and rehabilitating prostitutes was only the excuse. Morality? My ass! In Europe, during the Middle Ages, convents exploited brothels.
STD and unwanted pregnancy will sometimes happen anyway whether money is involved or not, that's what Planned Parenthood is for. People are going to have sex anyway (well, most are, I've simply just watched porn for the past 11 years), might as well get paid for it.
By this 'logic' growing chives on your windowsill makes you a farmer. A prostitute sells that which society generally agrees ought not to be available for money. It's like paying someone to be your friend.
There is of course no way to stop people from pretending to dispense friendship or intimacy for financial reward but it can still be regarded as morally wrong.
Don't people pay each to hookup ehen they buy beer or whatever? Or you can pay to stay in a relationship with sex or gifts or whatever. We all use our bodies to pay.
@SovereignessofVamps That's what I was talking about as being regarded as morally wrong. If the reason you are staying with someone is because they give you material rewards you are indeed a prostitute and that is regarded as morally wrong.
All dating that leads to sexual intimacy is prostitution.