Zodiacs, Please Rise!

Lol please don’t curse me out below 😂🫣🤣 I know most of y'all HATE to hear about this zodiac based shit and so y'all go on and on about how fake it is. I’m just discussing this for fun and to pass the time while I’m at work. Please, don’t let this topic ruin your day lol.

I stay wet 🤣
I stay wet 🤣
Zodiacs, Please Rise!


I want to share how things turned out for me based off my experiences with each.
I try not to hold the zodiac against the person during the initial meet/greet but once we’re out of each others lives, I definitely like to think back as to if their sign played a role in why they were the way they were. I just find it fun to associate it with their personality or appearance (even if its total bullshit). So yea just take it as me writing this for anyone whose bored and simply cares to read OR for anyone who actually enjoys zodiac stuff.

Zodiacs, Please Rise!
Zodiacs, Please Rise!
Zodiacs, Please Rise!


So when it comes to dating, I have dated at least one of each and I have noticed that this would be my ranking from FAVORITE TO LEAST FAVE-

1. Cancer

2. Virgo

3. Aquarius

4. Sagittarius

5. Pisces

6. Gemini

7. Libra

8. Aries

Oh yea and those bastards…

9. Leo

10. Taurus

11. Scorpio

12. Capricorn

Zodiacs, Please Rise!
Zodiacs, Please Rise!

I mean I am apart of one of the most hated zodiacs, so it is what it is…

Physical Attraction-

I have realized that those I find myself the most physically attracted to turned out to be Cancer, Virgo, Taurus, Pisces, Sagittarius and Scorpio. I mean wow they are sexy af. Beautiful little creatures 🤣😍👌 (I can’t post my actual exes without consent so I’ll post some celeb examples below lol.) Yet, the men who always seemed to be the most physically attracted to ME (cause attraction is not always a two-way street) happened to be Leo, Gemini, Virgo, and Taurus.

Pisces
Pisces
Virgo
Virgo
Scorpio
Scorpio
Sagittarius
Sagittarius
Virgo #2
Virgo #2
Taurus
Taurus
Cancer
Cancer

Hot damn Harrison actually looks like my ex JP here 😝 and Godfrey looks like my Papi Lu 🫣 If I had exes that looked like the others, I’d still be with them for sure 🤣 But no seriously, I have yet to see an unattractive male belonging to the group of zodiacs above, especially a Cancer male.

Mental Attraction-

The Cancer, Virgo, Aquarius, Sagittarius and Gemini always understood me best because we shared similar mindsets and sense of humors.

  • I still find it interesting that the Cancer could always finish my sentence or easily read my mind and vice versa. It was scary cool. But damn you can’t lie to one another for shit 😭 Leo somehow reads me easily too since they understand me emotionally well but I’m not the biggest fan of them.
  • I think the Virgo and I just shared that similarly judgmental and overly loving thing.
  • Sagittarius and I definitely meshed well when it came to music, humor, and the both of us being territorial.
  • Gemini really just made the best of friends rather than partners. Leo males make good friends too but again THIS IS NOT ABOUT y'all (attention hoes)!!
  • And Aquarius simply matched all of the above because they are such great creatures until they’re not. The end.
Me and Cancers be like
Me and Cancers be like
I dont know who made this shit up but its so left field
I don't know who made this shit up but its so left field


Sexxxual Attraction-

The Cancer, Taurus, Scorpio, Leo, Pisces, Libra, and Aries really just get my XxX rated side.

  • Cancer, Pisces and Leo stimulate me emotionally. We could laugh together, cry together, and make love from sun up til sun down.
  • Taurus, Aries, and Scorpio are the type of freaknasty I need in my life and can get me to “say yes” to the best of No’s lol.
  • Libra was the best of both worlds as being able to match me emotionally and freakishly plus they have the stamina that most don’t.
  • Capricorns and Aries actually do have amazing stamina too and are very creative with the whereabouts but mehh fck them hoes.

Funny enough, the majority of the above is mainly referring to the sexxxual chemistry involving words and acts of foreplay. The Aries and Capricorn have been the only ones to actually “hit a homerun” in my field. But yea, I won’t linger on this topic for long. Just know all the signs above (minus my ex Aries and Capricorn who had trouble understanding the meaning of NO) could almost do no wrong in the bedroom 👌

Zodiacs, Please Rise!


The Frenemies and Enemies-

Funny enough, most of the ones I find myself the most sexxxually compatible with turned out to be the ones that I cannot stand outside of getting freaky. I have always butted heads with Capricorn, Taurus, and Scorpio men. We have some of the worst arguments to date. And man its so hard to win an argument against a Leo, Libra, Taurus, or Gemini. If I was ever into ONS (which I’m not), all these signs above would be the way to go because its hard to stay around them for much longer than just wanting to make eachother cum-fortable. 😂 I’m way too sensitive for these rudely blunt bastards.

Now Leo and Gemini men actually make good friends. HOWEVER, I often find myself not being able to stand being around Leo/Taurus/Scorpio/Capricorn women. I’m not sexxxually attracted to women, but I wanted to emphasize on what that frenemy label above stood for lol. They are the ultimate backstabbers and oddly enough, 99% of the women I have befriended were Leos. So that is why I’m talking shit because of how awful they turned out to be. Hell, my own parents are both Leos. Can’t stand those unlovely mfs 🤣

Zodiacs, Please Rise!

My cousins are Leo too. Ugh lol. The struggle is real rn since I am currently dating a Leo guy on the cusp of being a Virgo (so he’s like double judgmental) because I see qualities in him already that I also dislike about my family, friends, and enemies. *I can only think of one Leo I know who isn’t a pain in the ass and he happens to be on here.*

Now don’t get me started on Aquarius. I adore them for the most part, even the women. But get on that bad side and your ass is grass lol! However Aquarius get each other together pretty well. I’m the only one who can get through to my grandpa. If anyone else tries to tell an Aquarius how to go about shit, they’ll shut you down real quick.

Pet Peeves—

The common things I noticed and disliked about my exes that belonged to each sign below…

  • Aries had that temper and constantly desired to fit in with others. THEY WERE THE FIGHTERS. But I wish they could be content with being a lonewolf.
  • Taurus was too dang cocky, stubborn, high maintenance, and always lying for no reason. THEY WERE THE MODELS. Yet they go for a relationship with people below their league and then get mad that you don’t want to go glam girl all the time.
  • Gemini was way too angry, indecisive, and insecure. I would actually love to see an Aries and Gemini fight because I’m not sure who’d win. And I’d hate to wait for a Gemini to order something off a menu. THEY WERE THE UNPREDICTABLES.
  • Cancer was able to emotionally connect sooo well yet they struggled to commit. Ain’t that some shit? They didn’t cheat but they just were not as available as they seem. Sexy mfs tho… THEY WERE THE MISLEADERS.
  • Leo would just bully anyone they felt that stood out more than them. Either they shine or you shine together. But never outshine them. THEY WERE THE POSERS. Or should I have said attention seekers?
  • Virgo was less of a bully but still way too judgy and overly clingy. I haaaate ghosting people but its almost okay to ghost a Virgo. They don’t want you to look better than them. They don’t want you to love harder than them. But they also won’t let you leave them. THEY WERE THE STALKERS.

  • Scorpio was honestly just evil in my opinion. The male exes and females friends were literally like Eve tempting Adam, intriguing but disastrous. THEY WERE THE SIRENS. That word can have two meanings… seductive but stay alert.
  • Libra was always being such a know it all yet they love to play dumb when they get caught up. Not only are they the ultimate heartbreakers… THEY WERE THE SMARTASSES.
  • Sagittarius was so sweet until they were so jealous. A virgo may stalk you but Cap and Sag seem to believe that the grave is the only way you’re going to leave them. I’m truly lucky to still be alive after dealing with them. THEY WERE THE SOCIOPATHS.
  • Aquarius was too stubborn, too ditzy, too much of a loner, and always a walking talking contradiction. THEY WERE THE PARADOXES.
  • Pisces was way too sensitive yet sneaky. THEY WERE THE MANIPULATORS.
  • Capricorn was simply nearly the death of me. Worst of the bunch. THEY ARE THE SADISTS.

Again, I’m not trying to offend, just speaking from personal experience.

I know this a mf lie lol
I know this a mf lie lol


Cusps—

For those who take an interest in the zodiacs, do you believe in cusps? Or do you think each person can only be one zodiac (not referring to moon/ascendant/rising)? Based off my dob, I’m a cusp and I see why certain sides of myself is attracted to some of every sign. Again, I’m not trying to base my actions and attractions off of the initial meet/greet. I don’t ask on day one if a person is this or that. 😂 But once I find out their birthday, it just becomes a given, a bad habit. And then once we don’t get along, I like to joke around and be like AHHH ITS BECAUSE YOU’RE A (insert zodiac here).

Zodiacs, Please Rise!

#FeelFreeToList #ZodiacSigns

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Why you doing us Taurus’s dirty. 😭

    • Omg i wouldve neeeeever guessed you were a taurus 😂 you definitely gave me cancer, virgo, libra, or pisces

    • Ewww noo. Not a crybaby cancer. I’m surprised lmao I’m hard headed and strong willed like a bull

    • Lmao i dont know any cancers that cry. They share a deep emotional connection but i ain't seen em cry 😂

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  • i am an aquarius

    • Twin!

    • lol. i put very miniscule stock in zodiac though.

    • We all should

  • All that time you were in college. ust still have you in thesis mode.. 😂😂.. Writing these damn thesis statements.. I read it all though as I usually do.. I'm not really into astrology much at all.. But I'm a virgo..

    • Lol i love my little essays 😂 And I don't know if i wouldve guessed you were a Virgo. But interesting

    • I can tell.. But you are a great writer, and they are entertaining.. 😂😎👉.. And yeah, peopoe usually have mixed reactions when I tell them I'm a Virgo.. LOL..

    • Aww well thank you :) and yea virgos aren't that bad

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  • I love this. Am a virgo and I believe we are the most beautiful and loving zodiac

    • Well virgos are kinda conceited or a little too self loving 🤣 But i do think cancers virgos scorpios tauruses are the hottest of the above

  • Damn this is too much info. I wish you could do a PowerPoint presentation with a whiteboard, slides and everything in front of me. I'd have questions and 🍿 😌

    • Lol i looove presenting! And i rarely look back at the board because i remember what i wrote

  • I just came to say that I love all the little Leo cubs.

    • Lmao

  • I'm a Leo lol

    • Nooooooo. I am in fckin chaka khan 😭

    • At least I make a good friend 😬

  • I'm offended and hurt. You called me a dastardly. I thought you liked me

    • Lmao damn all the bastards are on this post 😂👌 my bad y'all

    • If that was your way of apologizing, I forgive you

    • Yea Aquarius suck at apologizing

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  • I’m a Virgo and I don't know jack shit about my sign lmfao, maybe you can fill me in

    • Lol Read about it above. I bolded “virgo” beside the parts about y'all. My moon/rising/ascendant is virgo so we share that little bit of connection

    • That was an interesting read, I’ve never met another Virgo before and that’s what I find strange

    • Wow they’re everywhere

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  • I'm really impressed with how much you write and your motivation. A quality I sometimes lack. Even if I don't read to much into the zodiac signs, wow.

    • Thank you :) Im a talker so I jus start typing away at what I’m thinking. This took me a little over an hour to write just now haha

    • That's cool! like stream of consciousness 🙂

    • What is your sign by the way? Although you're not big on em

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  • Wasn't aware people held multiple zodiacs - well at least some signs have a cool alias like power/revolution, but rip to those that have sensitivity/drama

    • Loll

  • I definitely feel like there is some parts that have a basis in fact. However, people too much into it being 100% true. For example, I am a Sagittarius and my girlfriend is a Taurus. According to everything we read when we started dating we should be at each other's throats 24/7. That was 2 years ago, we are still together and the relationship we have is the happiest and longest relationship either of us have had.

    • Yea i dont take it mad serious

  • The wheeze I whoze at “no Susan , you’re just a bitch”🤣🤣
    Also may I ask why Capricorn was your least fave to date?

    • I didn't like the way he took my virginity. I won't call it rape but he never understood that no means no. And he was controlling throughout the relationship and verbally abusive. He held a knife to my throat when i tried to leave him for dealing drugs. And he held a gun to my tummy another time when i tried to leave him. He was horrible. The other capricorns werent as bad as him but they were verbally abusive

    • I’m so sorry u went through that 🥺🥺 I shouldn’t have asked but I do relate to what u meant when u said “he didn’t understand no means no” I feel like I needed to Sri my coochie with bleach afterwards and asked god kill the visual of that night and yes that guy verbally abused me amongst other horrible things I’m still healing from

    • Im very open with sharing. I hope to speak on stage about it one day to girls who go through similar stuff :) Speaking of bleach, he believed in making his girls drink bleach and dish detergent to kill the babies he implanted in them. I was LUCKY to never end up pregnant by him because a lot of the girls in HS followed through with the dumb selfmade abortions. Somehow the girls are still alive and havinf children til this day

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  • i love this mytake !! you put so much work into it.

    have you ever thought about becoming author? good skill & amazing money

    i do belive in cusps when i was in highschool i knew a few people who were cusps

    • Thank you. And i’d be a blogger before an author. But i also lose interest quickly and wouldn't be able to keep it up

    • i could see you as a blogger i know a few bloggers they always have a fun personality & i remember your dirty posts i always got a kick out of them. made me laugh

    • @dizzydesii i mean this as a compliment how do you always come up with these great mytakes?

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  • "Beautiful little creatures 🤣😍👌" you got me deddd 💀🤣 I'm loving it already lol. . . okay back to reading

    That left field diagram is great lol my girlfriend will love that 😂

    Mmk welp I'm sag-cap 😂 rip me lol but hey at least I have stamina and I'm creative

    • Haha :)

  • Hey, I’m cancer. You can use your xxx powers on me.

    • Omg no wonder you're hypnotic!!

  • Zodiacs are not totally fake, there's some truth in it, Astrology is a science in the end, and there's no doubt that the movement of the planets and the stars have effects on nature and us.
    But like you said, if you are a shitty person you can't blame your zodiac for everything.

    • Yepp

  • No wonder me and u get along. I'm a Virgo lol

    • Lol my main sign is not a virgo but my rising/ascendant/moon all are

  • Well at least I made it in the second best group, Virgo.

    • My rising/ascendant/moon is Virgo so i can relate sometimes to y'all

  • I'm a cancer to to come to zodiac sign. I'm can't remember zocdiac guys that I have a relationship with. one them I think is Capricorns and I also has last ex boyfriend was think Libra. I think I had more one ex boyfriend that was Capricorn. I has got 9 ex boyfriend. There also is bad cons to Cancer

    • Oh i know Cancers have their issues but they seem the least problematic in comparison to the rest

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