Sexual Health
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A PSA about P*ssy

A PSA about P*ssy

That’s right: I wrote a whole take about vaginas; hoohas, pussies, vajayjays, clams, honey pots, FANNIES. Whatever you call it, it’s all attached to the same sacred body part of the wondrous female: the genitals. Now you may be wondering: RJ, why in the hell are you writing about vaginas? You creepy pervert!

Pervert I am not, creepy perhaps a touch. But I have a real, well-meaning intention behind writing this take, and it is to provide a public service announcement to all ages of men and women regarding some of the ridiculous ideas, standards, and myths about the clam pot.

I can’t go through one day of scrolling through the G@G feed without some young woman worrying about how her vagina looks and smells, and sometimes I even find young boys and grown men complaining about the same things.

Girls:

"He wants to eat me out, but I’m afraid of the smell. What do I do?"

"My labias stick out, is that disgusting?"

"There’s discolouration around my vagina … am I gross?"

Guys:

"Why doesn’t she just shave? Pussy hair is gross, bleeehhhh!"

"Her vagina smells bad, how can I make her wash it?"

"Her labias are unattractive and I want her to get surgery, does that make me a bad person?" (This was a legitimate question at one point)

When I see all of these questions pop up, I think only one thing: you are all so uneducated about the love kitten. So ladies and gentlemen I hope you aren’t the awkward types because here is some insight on the rare and elusive vagina, from facts, myths, and general information … or … should I say … GENITAL … information. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. See what I did there? Did you? Okay … moving on:

Fact: Vaginas have a scent

Wait, what? Vaginas don’t smell like roses? Or birthday cake? They smell like … vaginas!? WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO!? AHHH!!!

A PSA about P*ssy

Okay, clearly I am over exaggerating, but I am so very tired of hearing people obsess over the fact that the vagina has a scent, because … well, let’s be honest: vaginas don’t smell good in general. Sell the whole “if you eat a ton of fruit you’ll smell sweet” crap all you want but no honey dew melon is going to make a vagina lose its inherent: I’m a freaking vagina smell. Take it from a 70% herbivore: no fruit has made my lady bits smell sweet, and I eat a ridiculous amount of fruit. It still smells like a vagina.

Of course, if you don’t wash out the clam pot it’ll start to smell perhaps a bit extra clammy, but no amount of feminine wash, soap or spray will ever take away that hint of pussy that your lady bits are SUPPOSED TO HAVE. Yes, your vagina is supposed to smell like a vagina, and shoving all kinds of soap in it isn’t actually good for it. As a matter of fact, people don’t realize that the vagina is basically a self-cleaning model and it doesn’t require much fuss or muss outside of warm water. Ask any gyno and they’ll tell you that using standard soaps can mess with your feminine pH levels, which should ideally remain between 3.5-4.5 in order to prevent unhealthy bacteria from forming down there. Using too much soap can cause irritation, infection and even INCREASE the likelihood of you forming foul odors.

A PSA about P*ssy

Instead, you should regularly only use water to clean your girlfriend, and if you really struggle with scent then dermatologists recommend you use a feminine-hygiene specific wash or cleansing cloth. There is no need to abuse these products however, they should be used as per their recommended daily use indicates.

Embrace the aroma of the cooter!

Fact: Vaginas don’t all look the same


Vaginas are like snowflakes: no two are the same, and they get wet when you make them hot, especially if you put your tongue on them. ~ RJ 2016

A PSA about P*ssy

Am I making you uncomfortable yet? Good, good.

Riske humor aside, I am being quite serious when I say that not all vaginas belong to a slab of dough that’s intended to be molded by a perfect cookie-cutter that makes it a pristine, perfectly packaged puss. Some have no visible labias, some have dangling labias; some have discolouration while some may be accompanied by foopas. Whatever the case may be, if your vagina functions normally, then it looks exactly how it was meant to.

Generally speaking as well as specifically speaking, we put way too much unfair pressure on ourselves and one another with this ridiculous concept of we are all “supposed” to look a certain way. Really, if you take that statement alone and really think about it for a moment, you will immediately catch the flaws in its logic. First of all: if we were all meant to have perfectly bald baby vajeejoos that have all of the bits well and tucked up inside of themselves like a proper lady then we all WOULD. But, not everybody does.

I won’t lie, I never knew that there were women who had labias that hung outside of the vagina until a few years ago when a good friend of mine voiced her concerns about it; before then, I didn’t know belittling terms like “meat curtains” even existed. I just remember thinking to myself: how sad that people judge the look of a vagina when it’s worth its weight in gold. I hope they never get laid.

So to those of you with coarse pubic hair, discolouration, “meat curtains”, foopas, or whatever else, know that your punani is not abnormal, or gross, or weird. Just like your finger print, your vajeen is unique to you and it certainly doesn’t make you more or less attractive. If that doesn’t make you feel better, then consider this: once you open that sucker up, they all look like they’re a few teeth away from looking like a monster out of Silent Hill. Or the predator's mouth.

A PSA about P*ssy

Myth: Shaving pubic hair is easy and no big deal

Screw you. If you only understood the plight!

For those of you who have ever bitched about a girl having pubic hair, let me educate you really quick: the vagina is sensitive, inside and out. Have you ever had razor burn on your face? You know … those itchy, irritated red bumps? Imagine getting those on your two-eggs-and-a-hanky for a second and tell me that shaving my vagina is no big deal.

The skin on the vagina is quite sensitive, so shaving almost always promises little pimple-like rashes and even boils (yes, boils, puss filled boils, imagine it, never forget it) to form, typically as a result of razor burn or ingrown hairs. That’s right: that perfectly naked look lasts for a day maximum before the barrage of irritation can start. That means that if we shave down there, we have to take a lot of measures to make sure we don’t break out into looking like we have some kind of STD.

That means sharp, new razors, thick lather, and potentially more products to prevent bumps from forming; which, if you didn’t know, keeping your razor in practically NEW condition is pretty hard if you need to use it regularly. Then of course there’s the one-to-two-day stubble period which is even more fun. We can’t just shave back over the grain every time hair sprouts up, Chuck, unless we want to guarantee irritation.

So the easy solution is clearly to just get it waxed, right?

A PSA about P*ssy

Bite me.

I’ve had a Brazilian before, and while it was effective, it was the most AWKWARD experience I have ever had in my entire life. Having some stranger rip hair out of your lady bits at every angle, crack-to-crack is not only extremely painful, but it’s mortifyingly embarrassing and weird. Not to mention you have to do a follow up appointment pretty much every week to two weeks depending on how fast your hair grows back – which yes, means you have to grow the hair back out before you can wax it again.

So if you have a girl that trims, shaves, or waxes, please be grateful and non-judgmental if she isn’t always perfectly plucked bald, would you?

Myth: The more sex a woman has, the looser her pussy gets

This is just silly.

People have this notion that only virgin vaginas or vaginas that are inexperienced are “tight” while an experienced one is “loose.” I don’t know if you all understand how the body words, but if you were to say, stretch your mouth like you were making a funny face … what do you think would happen? No matter what your mothers told you, it wouldn’t stay that way; it’d go back to normal. So unless she is trying to pry her vagina open for hours on end like she’s spacing her earlobes … you can drop that notion.

Yes, when you’ve never had a penis it might be a little bit tighter and difficult to insert yourself into the vagina, but that goes far beyond the simplistic idea of “tightness”, it’s actually a little more muscular than that. The vaginal muscles, when in a state of rest, are clenched tightly, which only increases with anxiety and lack of arousal. The more aroused and relaxed a woman is, the easier it is to insert. The more accustomed one becomes to having sex, the easier the process is. It’s that simple.

A PSA about P*ssy

It doesn't mean your dick is doomed to unsatisfying sex for the rest of your relationship, dingbat.

That’s right; that means that just because a woman has had sex with multiple guys doesn’t mean she has a gaping hole down there. That also means that just because she’s had children doesn’t mean that her vagina is just this dangling slab of meat that is going to feel like a bucket of wet rags. Will she feel like a virgin? No, but if she keeps the muscles strong down there, you’re fine.

I think I've traumatized you all enough for one day. If you enjoyed this take and would like to see more like it on other sex-related topics, respond with the hashtage #sexedwithRJ. Depending on how well this does, I'll do a follow up take about penises. Yes: PENISES. I hope you all found this nonetheless comforting, enlightening, or at least laugh worthy, because while I made light of it, #vaginashame is a very real and unfortunate thing that I feel just does not need to exist. We're coming into a time where being ashamed of your body is something we are ever trying to eradicate, and what better way for me to contribute than by sharing some #pussylove with all of you today.

I hope you all have a great week and I look forward to your feedback.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Lmao, I love you for this boo! I haven't laughed this hard in a while. I've never heard anyone besides my mother call a vagina "girlfriend". 😂😂😂

    That said, you've spoken nothing but the truth here. Awesome job!

    • Thanks baby ;)

    • I think I was mentioned here? :P

    • @booo159 lol nah, you have an extra O.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guy

  • Am I a pervert because i just clicked on your take because it was about pussy

    • No. You already were one. This just cements that fact.

    • @SarahsSummer hahahahahahaha

    • It's exactly why I put pussy in the title honey, it's exactly why. You know the horny little G@G boys will flock.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

32 72

  • Yah I forgot to tag ya #sexedwithrj

    You are totally mah #wcw today for writing this <3 keep it up girl!

    • Likewise boo ;P

  • Thank you for this - it was so informative, reassuring and written. I'd love to see another post about penises #sexdwithRJ

    • why you wanna read about penises. haven't u ever seen?

    • @manjeetK Yes I have, but if there is an opportunity to learn something new about them then I would like to. Don you have a problem with that?

    • @manjeetK Do you believe you know all there is to know about a body part just because you have seen it? That is what you seem to be implying.

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  • FANNYTASTIC.
    I knew and agree with everything you have posted in this amazing take.
    If loving natural vaginas scent and taste how it looks and feels is perverted.
    Then sadly I have to except this label at its highest extreme.

  • Clam pot might be the most disgusting euphemism I've ever heard for vagina.

    But I'm glad I'm not the only one who has made the connection between vaginas and the predator alien.

    Using the argument "It's natural, so that's how it's supposed to be" is pretty flawed in my opinion. "Well, you got a tumor, so you're just supposed to die. After all, it's natural. No pain meds for you." I shouldn't shower. Would that make me less attractive?

    Pretty much everything makes you more or less attractive. Otherwise, the idea of attractiveness wouldn't exist.

    I keep my pubes shaved. Really don't think it's much of an expectation for my partner to do the same. If they can't do it, then that's what waxing is for, yes. But, in the end, it's their body. They can do what they want with it. But at the same time, it's my brain and dick, and I can be attracted to whatever I like. And I can find whatever I like unattractive, as well. As for constantly clean shaven, I wouldn't expect that. I sorta like when the hair starts to grow, causing that soft-sandpaper-like feel thing.

    Two weeks.

    The vagina gets loose after having babies, particularly when they're over 30. Younger women snap back to original tightness in around 6 months. Kegel exercises will re-tighten the vagina, and it will tighten over time of not having sex. But it certainly does get looser. The same thing happens as women age, the muscles become weaker. Though, I had been pretty sure that they got looser after sex. Guess I was wrong. /Michael Castleman, M. A.

    This so called shaming bullshit is just a result of what the ideal attractiveness is. Like the ridiculousness about the "thigh gap" causing anorexia. You can't eliminate sexual preference and attraction; it will always exist. And likewise, men and women will lament that they do not have the qualities that the majority perceives as attractive. And this idea of "shaming" will come into play.

    Do whatever you want with your body. But don't expect me to hang my head in shame for my sexual preferences. And don't expect other guys to feel the same way. Vagina shaming shamers is just another form of political correctness. All it will lead to is enforcing what is "okay" to say, not changing feelings, and slowly bolstering resentments towards those who "shame" them for their sexual preferences, just like PC culture.

    There will always be an ideal. Trying to hide from that does nothing. People should accept their undesirable qualities or work to change them.

  • One of the best takes ever written.

    I've never seen so many words for vagina and it certainly made me laugh!

    I'm glad you approached this topic.

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