How to Not Get Raped: 5 Tips for Women

[Bellathecar96]

Rape is a big problem in today's society. It's not unusual to hear about friends or relatives who have been sexually abused in the past because they were too underdressed. And I blame the girls because they "are asking for it".

I think the girls should learn what they shouldn't do/dress to avoid these situations.

So here are 5 ways to avoid to get raped

1. Underdress

This might be the most obvious one. If you dress in short shorts or a short skirt, you have to expect people looking or touching. It's bound to happen!

2. Hair

You shouldn't have your hair out, because that means somone can grab it and drag you away somewhere. Remember this when you curl your hair next time!

3. Shoes

If you wear high heels, your sexy legs will show, and we can't have that, can we? Use low shoes and your butt won't be the first thing people will look at.

4. Respect

Respect the men you are talking to. If you get rude or say something wrong it's your own fault if they want to punish you.

5. Don't go alone

You shouldn't go alone in the street. You are a easy victim, you brought it upon yourself!

For the people out there that agree with me:

You are a awful person. If you can't see how sick it sounds to "prepare" somone and say that they are bringing it upon themself. It's NEVER the victims fault.

If somone gets abused with a hammer, would you ask them if they wore thongs? Or if them somehow triggered this person to hit them with the hammer? If they were telling the person clear enough that "No I don't want to get hit by a hammer".

The men (or women) that think it's okay to force somone into sexual acts should really seek help. Short skirts are NOT an invitation. It's simply somone who wants to wear a short skirt.

I hope the people reading this thinks about this next time they ask the victims what they were wearing. Instead of blaming the victim we should punish the person who did those things.

[xHoneyxBeex]

I agree that it's NEVER the victims fault. The rapist is 100% responsible for their own actions. However, that doesn't mean women (or men) can't still take steps to protect themselves and, hopefully, prevent themselves from becoming the victim of a crime.

Women *should* be able to walk around naked, completely drunk and alone without worrying about being raped. That's not realistic though. We don't live in a perfect world. There will always be criminals who will target others in order to commit their crimes. We can't control the actions of other people, but we CAN control our own actions.
- Always be aware of your surroundings
- Know your limits, don't get blackout drunk
-Don't accept drinks from strangers or leave your drink sitting around. If you leave your drink, get a fresh one when you come back.
-Don't go out alone, stay with friends and people you trust.
-Carry pepper spray or get a permit to carry a gun so you can defend yourself if you need to.

Obviously doing those things won't guarantee that someone will never become a victim. However, it's better to be proactive and take steps to protect and defend yourself instead of being careless with your safety.

[OlderAndWiser]

I am not defending rapists. I am not saying that any woman deserves to get raped.

If someone walks down the street at night, in the area of town that has the highest crime rate, and they have $100 bills hanging out of their pockets, and they get robbed. . . would you say to them "what we're you thinking?"

If a teen girl asks you, "Is it okay for me to walk around in just my panties and no bra in front of my step-dad when mom isn't home, would you say, 'Yes, it's okay, because if your step-dad does something to you, it won't be your fault.'"?

I am not defending the thief who robs the guy with money hanging out the pockets and I'm not defending the step-dad who fondles or assaults his step-daughter, but common sense says that you take precautions to avoid encountering criminal behavior.

[GreatnessRevamped]

Ok a few gripes. Why would any REAL step-dad even do that? I have friends sister's who I've seen grow up and are legal now, and if I caught them wearing that, I'd kick them in the ass and tell them to put on some more clothes. I wouldn't fondle them because of what?

[OlderAndWiser]

@GreatnessRevamped Obviously, no man who really wants to be a father, or a step-father, would do that. And I never did anything like that even though I had an 18 year old step-daughter who did occasionally cavort around in just her panties and bra. But you also know that some men will do those things, and you can't ignore things just because they "shouldn't" happen.

[GreatnessRevamped]

Then my second gripe is with the mother, who is so screwed up as to not see that her new beau likes them young and in-law. Come on.

[OlderAndWiser]

@GreatnessRevamped Is fault or responsibility an indivisible entity that can only rest on the most culpable party? I never said that the perv step-dad or the mom with her head in the sand had no responsibility for their actions or inactions, but that doesn't mean that step-daughter should not bear ANY responsibility for cavorting around nearly naked every time mommy is gone for a few hours. Again, I am not saying that step-dad should not be held responsible and I am not saying that step-daughter is equally responsible or more responsible than step-dad; I am only saying that she has some responsibility.

[GreatnessRevamped]

Well, let's talk about age. I believe that young people are not that bright. I think we can agree on that. That's why they have parents to protect them, not just physically, but from making dumb choices. Young girl parading in bra and pantys outside the home is dumb. HOWEVER, ONE SHOULD BE ABLE TO WALK COMFORTABLY IN THEIR OWN HOME without fear of being molested. Come on, sir. (I use caps because I cannot use bold text on this site, I think)

[OlderAndWiser]

@GreatnessRevamped Anyone who talks about the way things SHOULD be has missed the point.

[OlderAndWiser]

@GreatnessRevamped A young girl SHOULD be able to walk around naked inside her own home without any fear of being molested. So is that your advice to all young girls? "It's okay to walk around naked in front of your step-father, girls. Don't worry, if something happens, we won't blame you!" Really? Is that your advice?

[GreatnessRevamped]

Is your advise to fear all males in your own home? Step-dad, step-brother, actual brother, male dog, male rats will all rape you. Is that what you mean? Why stop at step-fathers, how about actual fathers? "Who cares if I raised someone for decades, if she walks around near naked, I'm raping her!!!" Sounds crazy, doesn't it? Any child who goes through that needs to be removed from the home. Both parents are sick and need help. Also, you are saying an old man doesn't have self control to not molest a child he agreed to help take care of.

[GreatnessRevamped]

Now, if you're talking about the girl parading on purpose to get a rise out of her step-dad, then she is not a victim at all.

[OlderAndWiser]

@GreatnessRevamped You are SERIOUSLY twisting my words because you are simply too stubborn to make any concessions to reality. Of course I don't suggest that everyone should fear all males in their home. My advice would be to not act stupid by following your advice.

[GreatnessRevamped]

So, my advice of not fearing people in your own home, a sanctuary, or, if you are, being removed from that home, preferably finding a new one, is stupid!!! Call me stubborn, because whatever reality you live in is one I wish to not exist in. And don't say real life. Just don't.

[OlderAndWiser]

@GreatnessRevamped REAL LIFE! Stop sitting around the campfire singing Kumbaya and get used to it!

[GreatnessRevamped]

why not? As much monstrosity there is, there is also a lot of good. I've seen both sides. I prefer good.

[OlderAndWiser]

@GreatnessRevamped Of course we all (at least most of us) prefer good and I don't want to think the worst of people. But there are some things where you just shouldn't take a chance. Would you leave your 16 year old son at home with your 14 year old daughter with no adult supervision, knowing that she is naive and walks around in just her panties? Would you just hope and pray that the 16 year old boy does not do anything wrong? No, of course not. There are some things in life where you take precautions not because you think harm is certain, or even probably to occur - it might even be a low probability - but if the harm does occur, it will be tragic. Most men should be trusted to be good fathers and brothers, just like I expect my extended family to be honest and not take advantage of me, but if I have a family event at my home, I wouldn't leave $1,000 in currency sitting on my dining room table blindly trusting that no one will bother it.

[Bellathecar96]

Alright what about the kids who get raped?

[OlderAndWiser]

What about them?

[Distant]

@OlderAndWiser back at it again! Could something not be said for putting themselves in the situation in the first place? Yes, the thief / rapist always bears 95% of the responsibility but, if you're alone and inebriated around men you don't know, shouldn't you have not been there in the first place? Personal responsibility plays a small albeit important role as well.

[Mesmaeker]

I see your point but you shouldn't have taken the stepdad example, because you know, the trust and save haven-factors.

[Tanisha69]

Yea, this is called common sense!

[RajaRunzin]

If rape was based on how a girl dressed, don't you think the average amount of rapes would increase during the summertime, when girls wear smaller clothing to fight off the heat? They don't.

Rape is never the victim's fault. People who go around like they know everything, saying that women get raped because their clothing was asking for it, are probably my least favorite kind of people. A person shouldn't have to change how they look just because some lonely man can't harness his primitive desires.

I am close to a victim of rape, and you know what they were wearing at the time? A sweatshirt and jeans. Where were they? In the parking lot of a college. I understand that walking alone at night increases the risk and that there can be precautions taken to help lessen that risk, but it still exists.

[itsallover]

Agreed.

[Bigclit]

Also agree

[meowcow]

Your list of preventative measures kind of hits the mark, but it kind of doesn't.

Rape is no different than any other crime, whether it's robberies, murder, home theft, car theft... etc. People can either plan to rape someone, or they may act on impulse when the opportunity presents itself. The same goes for the other crimes I listed.

If someone plans to rob/kill you, they'll probably be successful since you do not expect it. If you leave your valuables out in the open, or your front door unlocked at night, you present the opportunity for theft to happen. It's not a question of whether you have the right to be safe in society, because there will always be people who do not care for the welfare of other people. There will always be super nice people, normal people and extremely terrible human beings. That's just how some people are born.

That being said, the way to prevent rape is not to give rapists the opportunity. Women can drink and party and dress as skimpy as they want. But they have no right to expect 100% safety. If they are alone at the party, or if they do not plan ahead to get home safely, they are essentially offering themselves to get raped because there's going to be someone in the group who basically doesn't give a shit about you and would slit your throat for a nickle.

I compare it with an idiot walking down skid row flashing $100 bills around. You can bet he's going to get robbed. He presented the opportunity to people, and I doubt anyone would feel sympathy for him for being so blatantly stupid. A girl alone and drunk/passed out at a party is just as stupid as the guy flashing money around, because EVERYONE KNOWS THERE ARE RAPISTS AND KILLERS AND THIEVES AND OPPORTUNISTS EVERYWHERE. Go with friends, make sure you're always with a friend, find a safe way home - either picked up by family/friends. Accepting rides from the strange you met at the bar, or a friend of a friend of a friend, or trying to walk home in the dead of night because the taxi is too expensive is just plain stupid.

The problem is not that "men are rapists" because it points the finger at all men. The problem is that "people who do not care about others are presented with the opportunity to exploit another person", whether that exploitation is theft, rape, or murder.

There are people out there who rape women, go to jail for 10 years and as soon as they're released, they go rape another woman in 24 hours. Don't expect them to change.

[ThatGirl19]

Wow was not expecting the last part I was so ready to angrily respond to the beginning but turned out to be a smart read!

[BellePepper]

Holy cow I was afraid you were serious at first :o

Good message OP

[SomeGuy37]

What went wrong, that women have to be concerned, afraid, even, just wearing certain things in public? What happened to basic respect, and decency?
No matter what she was wearing, or how much she might be teasing, I have control over myself, and I would NEVER, EVER even think of taking advantage of a woman, dressed in whatever!!
Maybe I was raised with better values, and more respect, but why should women need to be concerned about their clothing, because some perverts can't control themselves!!
I do agree that women should not be alone, after dark, and should have a companion/friend/or trustworthy person, to get them home, but they SHOULDN'T NEED SOMEONE ELSE, to be SAFE!!

[snowangle]

LOL! I was about to get mad and then I finished reading :)

[EthaParez]

How about this.

1. Learn self defense. If you do not have the money Get a friend who knows self defense. If you are disabled like me learn how to use a weapon. I Cary a hidden pocket knife and pepper spray at all times when out. Even if you do learn sometimes the guy could be to strong. So cick him in the balls.

2. Dress how you want to dress. I don't want to rape a guy just because he is naked. So why should it be any different. If it is fucking 100 degrees out I am not gonna cover up. If a man can not control himself it is never your fault. Woman are over sexualized in the media. Someone can be asexual and dress skimpy. Does not mean they want sex. If the person says no it means no.

3. Do what you want with your hair. I have short hair. I was raped. On that occasion I was coming back from working as a nanny for a religious household. I was covered from head to toe. Rapists do not care what you look like. If you look like easy Pickens or you are alone they will get you. Rape is about power, not pleasure. They want to be in control and have power over you.

4. Just because someone looks like a easy target they might not be. A purse snatcher tried to steal an old ladies back. She was a black belt. He ended up dead. So you don't have to look tough. Just be a strong person.

5. Men and woman get raped to. Children also get raped. So do not assume that only woman do. Also woman can commit rape. It is not as often, but it happens.

[Rawrzz]

1. Dress however you like. (This one I pretty much agree with, but I'm not going to completely take responsibility from women--if you're walking in a bad part of town, wearing a microskirt and no top, well, maybe that wasn't such a great idea.)

2. Yeah. The hair thing is pretty ridiculous.

3. Shoes is pretty much the same thing as how they dress.

4. Guys know to respect other guys, because every guy has that line where they'll punch you in the eye if you step over it. Usually. For women, that is not possible--guys definitely cannot hit girls; so, I could see a guy getting pissed off over a bitch being a bitch, then raping her out of frustration.

5. No one should walk alone at night. Particularly guys, given they're much more likely to be the victims of violent crime. If you are alone, you are weak and vulnerable. Then, women are pansies, so they are more afraid that something will happen to them, so they probably avoid walking alone at night, anyway.

A couple of these are legitimate suggestions. Saying "I shouldn't have to prepare for anything," is sorta ignorant. When I'm out, I'm watching for everything. I'm not going to say, "Well, it doesn't matter how much money I was flashing. That man shouldn't have robbed me." After the fact. So was it my fault that I was flashing cash in a bad part of town? Or was it the mugger's fault? Well, I played a role. I would have been a lot safer if I weren't flashing all that cash.

[Xfitchick]

If they even try, they get a kick on their balls. If they don't show respect, I don't do either.

[lumos]

The issue I have with people who say such things is that they're assuming this is somehow news to us girls. As if we haven't heard these things since the day we turned 10 or something. Don't trust strangers, don't get into strange men's cars, don't go alone, talk to someone on the phone if you're walking alone at night and don't have a friend with you, don't show too much skin, don't do this, don't do that, don't say this, don't wear that. People say "you wouldn't walk into an unsafe neighborhood with your money out and expensive jewelry flashing?" no, and likewise very few girls actually do go out half naked into dark alleyways. Because most rapes happen in someone's home, with someone they trust/know/are acquainted with. So that argument falls on itself. Very few rapes happen outside in the dark with a stranger.
We should stop excusing rapists by blaming the victim for what they wore or how much they drank, and start blaming rapists for taking advantage of girls who are drunk, and not being able to control themselves when they see a little bit of skin.
It's funny how people keep banging this idea into women's heads that they have to stay alert at all times, never wear too little, never act flirty, never trust a stranger, never drink a bit too much, never use certain makeup, never wear certain shoes, never stay out until x o'clock, never go home alone. And then men whine about women being too paranoid and thinking of all men as potential rapists. Well no fucking shit when y'all keep saying DO THIS AND THAT TO PREVENT YOURSELF FROM GETTING RAPED, otherwise you only have yourself to blame, blah blah blah. Who the fuck wouldn't be paranoid?

[vishna]

Exactly. :)
I was actually seething after reading the 2nd one, then I got impatient and scrolled to see if it was self defense. Yay!

[DanHart]

It's striking how much more up votes from women this take currently has.

It seems like it's either not being read by many men here or that the take doesn't get approval by the men here.

[DanHart]

Oh, I didn't see that it has 56 opinions from men.

[Pac-Man]

Was about to call you a retard until I read

"For the people out there that agree with me:"

Good one lol

[LittleSally]

Take self defence classes (i. e. Krav Maga that is) and wear a chastity belt.
problem solved.

sarahemilybond.files.wordpress.com/.../...hdrb.jpg

[OrangeBoy]

Still can't hide da boooobs : D

[YourFutureEx]

I wanted to opine
"TL;DR version: She wants you to wear this
images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/.../...QECI9DL.jpg "
But then I read further and I'm surprised lol. Damn! Good.

[Jxpxtxr]

AMEN TO THIS AMEN AMEN AMEN 🙌🏻
Seriously can this just forever stay on the front page of gag for everyone to read?

[isjusti]

Of course is never the victims fault , this take cleverly shows this. But because the world is not made of angels and we can't expect everyone to be a nice human being maybe we can take some precautions to protect ourselves. Like if you dont have to be alone in a dark street then dont be.

[madhatters4]

i say 4 and 5 are the most legit. 1-3 sound eerily similar to the argument for Muslim women to cover-up in various burkas

[lumos]

Even if you disrespect a man, that doesn't mean he has the right to rape you. And 5 is dumb because most rapes don't happen in some dark alley with a stranger, they happen in someone's home with someone you trust. I. e. it's actually more likely that you'll be raped if you are with someone you trust vs. walking alone at night. So no, they definitely are not the "most legit".

[madhatters4]

@lumos "Even if you disrespect a man, that doesn't mean he has the right to rape you." did i suggest that a man has a right to rape a woman? the simple fact is that this is an ironic post i get it. but not going out alone and respect are the only two on the list that make any sense. disrespect never gives a person any right to physically assault anyone that seems obvious and should go without saying i think 5 makes sense in terms of a girl going to a party where she doesn't know people or saying walking home on a city street at night. the recent Stanford case was such a situation where the girl was with her sister and some friends and the sister went off leaving a severely drunk woman vulnerable. there was a situation in philadelphia last summer where a girl was walking through the city late at night and was sexually assaulted

[madhatters4]

of course the real need is to address the perpetrators but everyone, men and women can do things to reduce risk

[lumos]

No but you suggested that it's somehow more justified if she disrespects him, because it's "the most legit". But those are still rare cases and the majority of the time, the rapes happen inside with someone you know. So 5 is still not the "most legit" because it's very likely that the person you're with is the person who's also gonna rape you. But a headline like "woman got raped by friend at home" is not as sexy as "woman attacked and raped by stranger behind dumpster".

[Panay]

@lumos I think he meant it makes sense as something people should avoid doing, just in case whoever they're with happens to be a complete cunt Better safe than sorry!! 👍

[jacquesvol]

@lumos @RationalMale They should hunt the predators, NOT the victims.

[Electric_Dreams]

Some people seem to give people a hard time if they even imply that maybe the girl put herself in a very dangerous position by getting too drunk.. I dunno' if people here will react bad to me bringing it up, but it happens I've seen it. They say that girls should be able to get wasted without worrying about getting raped. Okay this is true, then again this same girl should be able to walk down the street alone at night without worrying about getting raped, but she can't. It's a harsh truth. Similarly, all people should be able to walk home without worrying about being murdered because they're alone and not in a gang or in the wrong gang but in some parts of the world they cannot. It's a harsh truth.

So, while girls should be able to get "wasted" for whatever bizarre reason they want to do that (I do not understand why it is appealing.. I get respectfully drunk, but wasted seems to me like making yourself into a target for abuse, accidents and humiliation by way of vomiting and soiling), without worrying about being raped, they cannot. Respectfully drunk is different, where you are still aware and can still control yourself and make decisions and still understand what is happening.

However, I think it is incredibly sad, and I don't enjoy saying this but shameful, that so many girls seem to actually want to get "wasted"/"slaughtered"/"hammered" .. I mean what's up with these words you want to get wasted, you want to get hammered, you want to get slaughtered really? Slaughtered? These words all have implications to bloody murder. Anyway that's besides the point - there's that ridiculous "binge drinking" culture, and so many people are horrendously irresponsible not just for others but also for themselves. I'm talking about people, and I know tons of people like this, who actually go out with the intention of getting that drunk.. that if they were alone they'd end up on the floor somewhere until they woke with a mega headache. Therefore they go out knowing they will rely on their friends to take care of them? Come on!

So, your article is really good really. Succinct, to the point, honest. I just feel like so many people seem scared to say the truth that so many girls make themselves into easy targets by being so irresponsible with alcohol.. like it's unacceptable to imply that the victim maybe ought not to have gotten so drunk.. it's like the elephant in the room that no one is talking about. It is a dangerous problem with devastating consequences.

[jacquesvol]

@Electric_Dreams "this same girl should be able to walk down the street alone at night without worrying about getting raped,_____" This same girl should be able to go to a friend's house alone at night without worrying about getting raped by that friend (or by one of his friends), because that's how most rapes happen.

[Electric_Dreams]

@jacquesvol Yeah I dig that man.

[jacquesvol]

Huh? :-| Tell us more

[Electric_Dreams]

@jacquesvol I'm saying I understand what you're saying.

[mrfoox]

I got really pissed off until i came towards the ending

[desidoll]

Me too!!!

[aoifeislovable]

I literally love you, that's one of the best takes I've seen in a long time!!!

[jcoldstream]

I have two chastity belts, one for indoors and one for going out.

[Relentless_Hippie]

Of course it's never the victim's fault but that doesn't mean there aren't any precautions you could take. Rapists do tend to target certain people. People who are alone, wear easily removable clothing, have long hair, have shoes they can't run away in, intoxicated etc. Telling people ways to protect themselves or avoid something isn't shaming the victim in any sense of the word. It's helping people. Only a moron would think "that would never happen to me." It's better to be prepared and safe than a victim.

[SleepyChan]

This was an amazing take. Thank you!

[MikeGaultier]

6) Buy pepper spray

7) Learn how to use pepper spray

[ObscuredBeyond]

Respect should be an automatic thing anyway. However, I wouldn't say a woman who gives a man excessive lip warrants rape. There are plenty of other ways for karma to bite back. Hopefully, she'll respect his limits before he assaults her though! If she's that stupid, to go bullying a dragon... there isn't much I can do for her.

I wouldn't say that the gals automatically bring it on themselves if raped for going somewhere alone. However, refusing to be alert does make women more vulnerable. It's the same thing with unalert men who get mugged. Fault ultimately is still with the predator. But why make the predator's job easy?

And obviously, don't waltz right into the wolves' den dressed like a piece of meat, and then be appalled when they try to eat you. Men who are like wolves are assigned their dark corner in society for a reason!

That being said, dressing down too much in places that are more savory is also unwise, but for different reasons: it's considered disrespectful there.

Even women who are idiots don't deserve rape. And no act of hers excuses a rapist for his actions, since he still could have stopped himself at any point.

I have pity for women who refuse to take measures to protect themselves from men; but those aren't the women I feel contempt for. The contemptuous woman, is the one who will call a man a "rapist" when she clearly consented, simply because she later regretted it. These types of lying manipulators often don't even wait for actual sex to have occurred: they paint a man as a rapist if they so much as decide they don't want to pursue a friendship anymore! And instead of telling him off directly, they play to his face that all is well. But conspire behind his back, and then go over his head. These types of women... they don't deserve rape; but it would be poetic if they fell out a window and got trampled by horses.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

www.private-counselling-london.co.uk/.../...ng.jpg

https://cdn.meme.am/instances/400x/58658128.jpg

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

I was gonna rant but I read the ending by the way, this is for those who agree with you by the way not you @mytake owner (figured i should tell you before you get mad)

[desidoll]

Wow bravo sister! I was scrolling with anger till the last part lol!! Wtf with the people who think that clothing has something to do with raping? Excuse me educate yourselves. So what about those pedophilia who raped underage kids when they don't even have boobs or ass to begin with? School girls who are on the way back home? Maid who is cleaning the house? Whenever I met any men who put the blame on the victims, I'd just assume he is one of the potential rapist himself who is just trying to justify his sick action.

I was sexually assaulted by a man on a pack train when I was on my way to work. I was wearing FULL covered office attire. Yes he didn't rape me of course because there was a huge crowd. If I was together with him in some quiet places, what do you expect him to do?

[CheerGirl38139]

Geezus I was hoping this was gonna be sarcasm.

Well played sister. 🙋

[Tanuron]

To be honest though, I never seen or heard it anywhere for anyone that has been raped that they were asked "what they were wearing" I hear it all the time people saying people say this, but I never actually seen it or heard it, so im curious how widespread that issue is, cause it hardly has anything to do with the reason people get raped I talked to a lot of people who has been raped, clothes or clothing at any point has never been mention, nor have I seen it as intial reaction to anyone sharing their rape story.

Although personally again, I dont think is a bad idea to just teach more girls in particular self defense. Can come in handy someday. I practiced martial arts myself for many years, it just seem wise in this day an age at times, cause I ended up in a lot of fights too when younger particularly, its just good to know what to do if/when worst case scenario happens.

[gotc147]

You're correct in saying the victim is never to blame, however that doesn't mean the victim has a blank check to act completely irresponsibly.

People need to accept that there is a criminal element in our society, and they need to accept that there are certain things we, as innocent people, should do to avoid being a victim of any crime, not just rape.

Staying away from high-crime areas helps a lot, as does not involving yourself in crime as part of the perpetrators, but also high situational awareness, not leaving your food or drinks unattended, and having a tool or two to fight off an attacker such as pepper spray or a gun.

[JuicyBrain]

There is no excuse for rape, but if you play with fire, you get burned. If I refuse to wear a helmet and get ran over while on my bike, it might make the difference between dying and getting injured. It doesn't excuse the drunk who ran me over but wearing a helmet does reduce the risks of me dying. Get the point?

[Pac-Man]

Its not the same. Walking should not be as dangerous as riding a bike.

[PrincessofNohr]

@Pac-Man It shouldn't be, but unfortunately it can be. There are a lot of awful people in our society who will take advantage of someone at the drop of a hat, be it fraud, theft, rape, etc. It's something that will never change in this world, and sadly sometimes all we can do is protect ourselves from the criminal element the best we can. It doesn't justify bad behavior, but people aren't doing themselves any favors by being unaware of the dangers.

[JuicyBrain]

@Pac-Man The riding a bike story was just metaphor. Meaning that no, it's not ok for a man to rape a woman in any circumstances, but the reality is that it happens and there are ways to reduce the risks. If you ignore those risks, then it might happen to you and you might have prevented it by playing it safe. Better to not be raped than being raped and only have the fact that you were not responsible to comfort you.

[somebodysaycheese]

I like how people are saying girls shouldn't walk around in bad neighborhoods, but reality says its the white upper class neighborhoods you have to fear not the hood folks.

[Perspective1676]

@somebodysaycheese I need your help. Can you send me a message?

[Outofthegrey]

Step 1: Get a concealed carry.

There is no step 2.

[TheDevilInside]

I only agree with #1. sure, girls who dress "properly" might still get raped. But the chances of you getting raped is higher if you dress like someone whose body is for sale or public consumption. A bathroom in your own house will not be used by just anyone. But a public bathroom? Lol you get my point. Everything has a consequence.

[KRIEL55]

it is actually the exact opposite. male rapists seek out women who are quiet and conservative because they assume that they're weak, won't put up a fight, and they'll be too ashamed to even tell anyone about the incident, while a girl who looks promiscuous, is loud, seems to have a lot of friends, and loves showing off her body is intimidating because she's much more likely to fight back (and possibly even carries a knife or a gun) and is much more likely to report him after.

[SüßeJäger]

All good things to do. I'd add be willing and able to defend yourself in any way necessary up to and including deadly force. Of course avoiding a bad situation is the best thing but that doesn't always work. Take classes to learn different ways to defend yourself especially if you decide to carry a gun. Women are the fastest growing segment of any group by far buying firearms for self defense and just for fun. I'm glad so many are deciding they are valuable enough to their loved ones and society to be willing to defend themselves. The key word is SELF defense. Only you can decide how you need to defend yourself. There's other good things to learn too. Like how to stay away from dangerous areas with either no or very difficult to escape from, study body language and how and where crimes against women take place etc. Everyone is different in their comfort level but one thing is universal, this world is very violent and if you ignore that, you're going to get in trouble one day. Learn how defend yourself. Refuse to be a victim.

[musicbrain5]

Wait, you actually agree with these points?

[WillowTree]

How about this tip!
Men: Don't rape girls!
Problem solved! :D

[WillowTree]

Okay, now I read the last part.

[Gwgwwg]

That argument works for everything therefore it isn't useful. E. g. How about you shouldn't steal or hit people? There are bad people in this world. Therfore you adapt to that if your logical if you're stupid you make stupid points like yourself

[SwoopingHawk]

Hey guys, let's stop locking our doors at night, let's all just teach thieves not to steal. If we would just teach thieves not to steal, our houses wouldn't get robbed.

Yes rape is evil, but the fact that nobody should be a target for sexual assault doesn't mean anyone won't. If one makes herself an easy target, it doesn't excuse the rapist, but it also doesn't mean the woman was blameless.

So here's my "don't get raped" checklist:

1) Respect YOURSELF: Don't get slobbering drunk, your body and mind deserve better, plus, if you choose to get drunk you are knowingly putting yourself in a situation where YOUR judgement is impaired, you made one choice that will impact more of YOUR choices later down the road. Also, don't dress to show off what you don't want just anyone to see. Is dress alone enough to make one a target? No, but if you can't be bothered to cover up your intimates in public, it does say a thing or two about your self respect.

2) Don't put yourself in bad situations. Again, this is PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY. You are not a child. If you go into a lake clearly marked "toxic,, do not swim", or some-such, it's on you if you get poisoned. Somewhere inside, you knew better. Likewise, if you go into a dive bar and get hammered or take drinks from people you barely know, it's possible that YOUR choices might have consequences, particularly if you're surrounded by the sort of people who tend to frequent seedy establishments, like 'anything goes' nightclubs.

3) Concealed carry. Nothing says no like a Smith and Wesson.38.

There is evil out there, and bad things happen. Sometimes, a woman could be in a nice enough place with someone they know reasonably well, and he turns out to be a stealth scum. Many times that is not that case. No, a woman shouldn't have to run around in a hijab abstaining from alcohol, but there's no excuse for leaving the barn door open in Indian country.

[Luminifera]

I was ready to write about how disgusted I was with this my take lol

[BubbleBoy69]

6. Don't get into cars of strange pepole just because they are driving a lambo or some high class car.

7. Don't assume that because a person is good looking he is trustworthy and go off with him somewhere.

8. Don't accept free drinks from people in clubs/bars.

Also your mytake implies men are the only ones capable of raping.

[KRIEL55]

well your reply implies that women are straight up idiots. nobody is stupid enough not to question someone random in a nice car just like nobody assumes a person is innocent and perfect just because they look good. and most women do question who do they get free drinks from at places like that. of course we all know rape isn't only something men do, but it is something that MOSTLY men do (not only to women, but children get raped more commonly by men rather then women as well). and when women do it, they dont just go up to a man and drag him or corner him at a public place so men dont have to worry about things like staying vigilant 24/7 when they're alone and avoiding big groups of women. they just have to worry about whether they should really trust someone they just met and whether they should really go somewhere private with them, and have to be aware that someone they already trust is capable of raping as well.

[BubbleBoy69]

@KRIEL55 You'd be surprise. Many girls would get into a car of a strange man if he drives a nice card. Their videos showing this. One girl was walking down the street with her boyfriend and she left him to hop into a lambo of guy she doesn't know.

Actually many people place a lot of trust in someone just because they are good looking. It's social programming. See mytake:
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a28180-a-good-looking-person-who-acts-nice-be-careful

It's a phenomena called the halo effect and is found to be true in human psychology where you consider good looking people good by default and they'll have to do a lot of bad shit to you before you sway to consider them bad. It's even shown looks play a heavy role in socializing.

And no i don't see women take much heed in who they get drinks from once they've had a few drinks already. They are all to willing to get more free drinks from guys.

[BubbleBoy69]

@KRIEL55 Can you backup your claim that most rapist are men? Factor in the following: 1) Males who make a claim that they've been raped by a woman are not taken seriously by the justice system 2) Many men are ashamed to come forward about being raped 3) Not too long ago the FBI and judicial system defined that rape could only happen by a man forcing himself on a woman. So with this in mind society still has a view that rape can only be perpetrated by men on women. Also in regards to trust. Women tend to have more trust in a person if they appear wealthy and good looking. A perfect example of this is tinder where girls are eager to meet complete strangers they've never met but is good looking and head back to their place and fuck without knowing who the fuck they are. Another case is ONS.

[BubbleBoy69]

"Assault by forcible stimulation of female genitalia by a female perpetrator is possible by digital manipulation, oral sex, strap-ons, other dildos or other foreign objects, or tribadism.[26][27][28] A telephone survey conducted in 2010 for the U. S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that 43.8% of lesbians reported having been raped, physically abused or stalked at some point by an intimate partner; of these, 67.4% reported the perpetrator or perpetrators as being exclusively female.[29]"

[JRICHARDS1996]

9) Always carry a loaded revolver in your purse, then none of the other things matter.

[KRIEL55]

so just because some women did something stupid, you assume that ALL women are stupid. really now. and women aren't always taken seriously either because rape is really hard to prove, there just isn't always evidence, and do you honestly believe women aren't ashamed and have no problem discussing rape either? not only will they be seen as "impure" by some people, they are also very likely to be slut shamed (going back to "well you should've been covered up from head to toe and should've just stayed home instead of going out, you slut") and yeah its ridiculous for people to say that a man can only be raped by forcing himself on a woman, but it is just as ridiculous as excusing a rape case simply because the woman who was raped wore a short skirt. and i dont know anyone who even actually uses tinder. i heard about one girl who uses it to have sex, and literally everyone i know thinks thats weird and too dangerous. and im not saying that women never rape, but on average men are the ones who

[KRIEL55]

rape. im not going to go on some random site and find these statistics, but i took a whole class about it in college.

[Youdoyouboo]

I've never understood girls that dig guys just for cars. So pathetic

[KRIEL55]

@Youdoyouboo well its a pretty obvious reasons. a nice car means he has money. him having money means sharing a luxurious lifestyle. some women have expensive tastes and want the good things in life, other women are plain and dont mind having basic things. but most women are smart enough to realize its extremely shady that some rich guy is so interested in you that he tells you to get in even though you've never met. if he was actually some kind of successful businessman, he wouldn't be driving around telling random girls to hop in. he is most likely a pimp.

[TokyoGhoulLover]

Wow this was shockingly pleasant, Thank you so much for that note on the end because I disagreed with Most of the things stated here. Dressing a certain way does not give the green light to Fucking rape, sorry bro. Guys can control themselves Just fine around other dudes and dress however way they want, but people always want to punish a woman because he couldn't keep it in his pants because that red skirt just Happened to look "slutty" and he was having a "bad day" You want to prevent rape? Here's a tip. You and your boys (or girls or friends of any nature) Learn to fight, suit the fuck up (any weapon used for self defense that is not exactly a life ender but could be. Example: Knives, brass knuckles, shanks, tasers) just in case your walking home at night, walk in a group and if a man is having a "Bad day" tear both of his bad days off and shove it up his ass. See if that'll brighten it right up with some high notes. God I'm sick of people justifying these cruel acts. You can't control yourself? Wear a damn blindfold or check yourself into a mental hospital. Only then will the world be a better place.

[AleDeEurope]

Damn, I was about to pull out my pan and smack you in the face with it. Thank goodness I read the last part.

[Blanchmess]

Lol the title tho

you really got me xD

[Cosytoasty]

If you have no reason to put yourself into a potentially dangerous situation but do it anyway, you're not going to get the same sympathy compared to say, someone who was beaten up and raped by an intruder into their own home.

I fully advocate harsh punishments for the crime, but with some victims i would feel somewhat indifferent even if i think the perpetrator should get 15 years solitary. He will pay for his crime and she should have taken up her friend's offer for a ride home, case closed move on.

[zombiebabe]

good tips!

[TripleAce]

I waa going to say so, e points make sense. Like as a guy I wouldn't walk in a gang ridden town and not expect to be robbed, in the same respect id expect a women/man to know if she/he wants to ride the danger wave, certain risks come with it... and rape is one of them. You can't expect to tell a rapist not to rape, thats what they do... but you can expect to tell women or men to take extra precautions and be safe.

[oddwaffle]

Like carrying a stack full of cash is asking to be robbed. What do you think? Leaving your door open and put a pile of cash in your car, sounds like a good idea to you?

If you live alone and have money without any decent security then you are asking them thieves to visit you.

Because it's not the victim's fault doesn't mean people should risk it. There ought to be an "uncommon stupidity" prevention law somewhere.

[Mayamoon02]

Someones body isn't comparable to a stack of cash.

[oddwaffle]

@Mayamoon02 Perhaps not but the incentive is the same. Meat invite animals, cash invite thieves and sexy body invite rapists. Just because something is a crime, people won't do it. We wouldn't have criminals and prisons otherwise.

[JRICHARDS1996]

Why do you blame conservative men for rape when if it were up to us, every woman would have a revolver in her purse? You can blame the beta males on the Left for disarming you because they believe that a plastic whistle is a more efficient rape stopper than cold steel.

[Josht13]

OK I can really feel the intense straw manning just from the first point.

[Maik567]

I'm an awful person if I think there are precautions you could take to prevent rape? I agree that if someone thinks it's the girls for fault getting raped then they are a terrible person but this post makes it seem like girls shouldn't be careful or take caution to avoid getting into situations like that. If I walk in a dark alley with cash falling out of my pockets and I got mugged, of course it wouldn't be my fault but there are definitely things I could have done that could have prevented that.

I think the message should be to tell rape victims that of course it's not their fault, but still teach people to use their fucking heads and try to avoid dangerous situations. Telling someone to not go alone at night is not being sexist, thats just good advice and shows you care about their well being.

[Sunflower19]

I did all of the above and it still happened to me. So it's not really 100% true.

[bradlazer]

So sorry to hear that. *hug*

[LittleMissCuriousity]

I was getting seriously pissed off until I got to the second one. Well done!

[Sexualchrist]

The grammar in this. Jesus.
(It's terrible)

[Jager66]

Your both right and stupid at the same time.

[Harbor]

Lame.

[BlondyBabe]

Don't teach girls how to not be raped teach not to rape in the first place

[SnatchFinderGeneral]

How do you teach someone not to do something? Rape is already illegal. Do you know how justice works? Sounds like you want liberty to risk any danger without consequence.

[BlondyBabe]

@SnatchFinderGeneral I see your point but if simply trying to teach one HS class to respect each other a little better might prevent one sexual offense theocrats one less life turned upside down and bit might not revolutionise the world but it helped someone (also sorry for the gender roles I get that that isn't always the case)

[SnatchFinderGeneral]

If you don't want a starving person to steal your food, you don't teach them not to steal food, you give them the opportunity to guarantee their own food.

[BlondyBabe]

@SnatchFinderGeneral I'm sorry but I think those are two incompatible scenarios that really can't be compared

[SnatchFinderGeneral]

They don't have to be compatible to be compared lol. It is analogous. And since you give no reason why, my only response is that saying something doesn't make it so.

[BlondyBabe]

@SnatchFinderGeneral Well maybe we'll just have to agree to disagree on this one

[SnatchFinderGeneral]

You don't confine people to a society without that society providing sufficiently for human needs. You will get resistance.

[BlondyBabe]

@SnatchFinderGeneral ok so we're just disagreeing...

[SnatchFinderGeneral]

Umm, ok. Can you actually tell me in words what you actually disagree with?

[BlondyBabe]

@SnatchFinderGeneral you saying there is no point in educating kids and teens about the topic

[SnatchFinderGeneral]

Right. Because that's like teaching people not to get so hungry that they steal. So how do they do that exactly?

[0112358]

There are certain types of assault that probably education would help with. But not many. TBH, this happens more in some more traditional cultures, where you have guys who think 'oh she came to my apartment because she wanted sex, and she expects me to be pushy because she doesn't want to look like a slut'. But those attitudes are fading. As far as I can tell, most rapes are done by a core group of likely sociopaths who do it repeatedly. The problem isn't that they don't understand consent, in fact a significant number of them are specifically wanting to get sex without consent. The problem is that a few percent of the population has no empathy for other people, and no conscience. Teaching these groups to have empathy doesn't work at all. The brightest members of the group simply learn how to feign empathy and manipulate people more effectively.

[This_is_my_username]

I was gonna start this whole rant... GOOD thing i read the last part.

[Anpu23]

How to reduce your chances of being a victim. Don't do dumb stuff, don't get so drunk that you don't understand what's going on, be situationally aware, trust you gut, if it seems dangerous don't do it. In an unknown situation don't go alone. Etc. To say that it's "never the vctims fault" is a misnomer what you are saying is that "you were completely powerless to avoid the situation. It's like telling someone who stuck a fork in a power socket, "oh it's not your fault, it's juat that the socket is mean" you can't learn from that.

One of the things a victim needs to hear is that "you did this right" and analyzing the situation is the way that people learn. No clothing and hair is not a factor, but walking down a dark ally at night alone is. Don't take the power away from yourself and others just to prove a political point.

[Bellathecar96]

I absolutely understand your point and I agree! But still it shouldn't have to be that way. Girls should be able to go down a street alone without getting assaulted.

[Anpu23]

There are F'd up people in this world, and pathology is just that sickness. There is no way to reduce pathology before the individual does something screwed up. There maybe warning signs but someone has to catch them, understand them and react appropriately to them. People should be able to go down the streets alone without being assaulted, but that is simply not the world we live in. And this, honestly, is not a gendered issue guys face a lot of the same F'd up situations girls do.

[ClariceOwen23]

I was about to go on a rant until I read the end. Good take!

[Phoenix98]

Or you could just use common sense and not walk around in bad neighborhoods, area's with high crime rates or just being alone at night in general not unless your packing anyway. Not go out to bars alone and get wasted and or not to accept drinks from complete strangers you've never seen before.

[Jayson101]

Why do women say 'men can stop rape' and then when we do what we can to protect them they turn on us and accuse us of rape apology? Is it because... is it because... is it because by trying to protect women from rape we are acknowledging that rape exists and are therefore condoning it? Does it seem like we are 'accepting' rape if we try to protect them, because we are saying "there is rape" and they say "well their shouldn't be"? Or is it because we are seen as rapists? I don't get it :(.