Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
This title is both going to draw people in and push them away. We are all so sick of having to hear about what women have to deal with that men don't and then hearing that men get it oh so easy.
Which they don't. Because unless they have a cold or god forbid a sore toe like my grandfather keeps reminding me (he keeps telling me it's black then showing me. It's as white as the day he was born), they aren't going to complain. Men have a hell of a lot to complain about. Dealing with us women for one.
But, I just wanted to say, that I have finally experienced one of the things most people hate about being (genetically) female. Waking up in a pool of blood and instead of screaming, carrying on and getting worried about where the blood's coming from, I grumbled, rolled out of bed, went to the toilet, changed my tampon and started to scrub my underwear and favourite bed shorts.
All without my Poppy (grandfather) asking why I was up a half hour early (It was 5:55 in the morning) or what took me so long in the bathroom.
Ah, unassuming males. Thankyou for not asking questions.
Now, if someone who was a guy genetically (this applies for trans-women) woke up in a pool of their own blood, there would probably be a hospital visit. Seriously, you need to get that checked. If you don't get a period, or shouldn't be getting it because you no longer have a uterus or you're pregnant, then you don't want to be waking up wet with blood.
Well you don't want to wake up wet with blood when you do get a period either. But that's just because the clean up sucks. Not because it means we're dying. Or at least you hope not. If the blood smells like the blood from anywhere that isn't your vag then get it checked.
Just saying.
Okay so. True purpose of this take. What am I getting at?
Scroll up a little to where I said "Ah, unassuming males. Thankyou for not asking questions."
Thankyou for not asking questions?
What questions? About my period? What's wrong with him asking about my period?
Dear readers, I do believe we have all experienced the thing that is period shaming. Even the guys. That's why so many are squeamish about the fact that women bleed for a week of every month.
(I'm not trying to generalise here, but my brother has always been sqeamish, a friend of mine goes red in the face and asks us girls to stop talking about it a few sentences in to our conversation, and I watched another get angry that the girl beside him pulled a tampom out of her pocket for whatever reason, tore it out of her hand and threw it on the ground before storming off. No I don't know what that was about, but that was a pretty shitty thing to do. She had to go to the office for another. Schools always buy the shitty brands with the lightest flow absorbancy)
One aspect starts in primary school. Does anyone remember the toilets in primary school? The toilets that are a little smaller than any other toilets for our little bums to reach, the toilets where you're young enough that picking a 'favourite' isn't as weird as it tends to be when you get a little older. Because seriously, it's a toilet. Get over it.
Primary school toilets only have a sanitary bin in one stall. Coincidentally, even though I didn't get my period until towards the end of year six, that stall with the sanitary bin had always been my favourite. Just because it was a little different.
In year five we all got our first look at sex ed. We learnt about sex, we learnt about the differences between boys and girls (physical differences that is), we learnt about how the stork doesn't deliver the babies and that babies don't come from cabbage patches or the toilet as one childrens book helpfully made me believe for a little while.
Then, the teachers made the boys leave the room. And the girls were taught about periods. We were shown pads, we were shown tampons, they gave us a demonstration as to what a tampon does by sticking it in a glass of water that just made it even scarier that people actually put those in their 'nudy rudies'. We were shown the Libra site and we all ordered free period starter packs without our parents permission.
We were told what the sanitary bin in that single stall was for, and that if we got our period and people asked why we wanted that stall when there were others open, we were to tell them it was our favourite.
That's the bit that gets me.
Teachers were basically telling young girls that they should hide their period. They should hide it, and in turn, because they're hiding it, be ashamed of their period. That wasn't the intention, teachers just didn't want us to be embarrassed about having to explain that we have our period, but that's the way it turns. You tell a kid to hide something about themselves, they're going to be ashamed of that part of themselves.
And they're going to keep being ashamed. I'm a lot more open about my time of month now than I was. I will talk about what brand of tampon I use (Carefree). I will admit to having bad habits in leaving the tampon in too long. I'm not ashamed to ask people if they have a tampon or pad to spare because my period has hit me before I expected it, and I keep forgetting to carry a few with me. But a lot of girls are.
I took a friend with me down to Chemist Warehouse because I was sick to death of having to deal with the smell of her dirty pads that she keeps forgetting to chuck, every time I went to her place (she lives alone), and the underwear that suffers because her flow is too heavy for pads in the first place. I showed her the tampon isle, I showed her the heavy duty winged tampons that I use, that are excellent for heavy flows. I felt a little like I was a mum showing my daughter the world of being female for the first time, and I get the sinking feeling her mother never did this with her. She was as red in the face as possible, even more than she normally gets when one of our friends starts talking about the orgasms her boyfriend gave her last night. She was stuttering, which she doesn't normally do, and continuously asking me if we can go already.
No. No, we could not go. I told her if the tampons don't work out, she can use the night pads that have a much heavier flow absorbancy than normal pads. They're dearer, have less in the pack, but they work.
If we could buy menstrual cups in store here in Australia I would have reccomended those.
You won't believe the way she charged out of the store when I finished buying the tampons for her after she was too embarrassed to walk up to the counter herself.
But no. This is just one example of how society now, has women so embarrassed of the fact that they have a working, natural bodily function, that they aren't going to get help as to how to deal with that bodily function when it starts affecting their every day life.
(^^ This makes me laugh every time)
Period shaming. It fucking sucks.
I grew up seeing pads all over the place, because that's what my stepmother uses. I would spot them in the car, in the lounge, on the floor of her room that I was never allowed to enter, they were everywhere. I only ever asked her once what they were, and she said they were nothing in that 'don't ask again' voice. So, being scared shitless of my stepmother (if you ever met her you'd understand why) I didn't ask again. I only understood what they were when I got my first period, and she shoved one in my hand and told me to put it on.
You have to commend me for gathering up the courage to walk back into the lounge room and ask her how.
So, I've been getting my period for say, six years now. When I moved out of Dad's house and into Mums, I moved on from pads to tampons. Because I always hated that feeling of wearing a nappy that pads gave me, and Mum was so much more open about periods than my stepmother ever was and probably ever will be. I pray for my younger sister. Mum helped me transition from pads to tampons, made me feel so much less self conscious about washing the blood stains out of my clothes whenever I bled onto them and I became comfortable talking about my period with her, and telling her whenever I was itching to the point of madness (I'd always just dealt with the itch before I moved). I became able to talk to her about how to shave my bikini line because my stepmother had just told me to and refused to tell me how. Mum actually told me how and offered to help. I wasn't quite that comfortable.
Yes, for those frowning, it is normal for Mums to offer to help their daughters with their bikini lines and shit. One of my friends actually got her Mum to wax hers for her.
(Just so you know, there is at least a month between me starting this take, forgetting about it, and then continuing it here)
Okay. For guys.
You men don't have to deal with periods, unless you have sisters, are straight and have a girlfriend, or are female gentically.
Okay, so back up, you do have to deal with periods. (Go gay men, you get away with not having to) Here's a tip for you guys with a girlfriend or sister who is on her period. If she's cranky, don't say, 'oh you must be on your period' that will only make it worse. Actually, it pisses most women off whether they're actually on their period or not.
Go figure.
Men. Women bleed every month, they get pains every month that can vary from mild discomfort, to don't even think about touching her she will kill you. Go me for being gay. I have to deal with both my periods and hers. Yay -_-. (This is why I say I didn't choose to be gay. Why would I choose to deal with not one, but two periods? Seriously. I'm not that stupid.)
So, if you have a girlfriend, and you're aware periods are in fact an actual thing that exist, isn't that like saying you accept that she has a period and you're okay with that? That you aren't going to go crook and demand blowjobs with the reasoning 'just cause she can't get off doesn't mean I can't.' (Which by the way is completely untrue, I'm most horny when I'm on my period)
I literally cannot be stuffed finishing this. Okay, figuratively. Either way.
My point: Periods are a natural bodily function. Not something to be ashamed of.
You all get where I'm going, you've all heard the same speil before. I'm going to shut up and go back to doing some actual work.
And I just found this. I am sharing it.
But hey, change that 'girls' to 'boys' you have pretty much the same list going. Almost.
Things boys are made to feel ashamed of-
- Being okay wih periods
- Wearing anything that isn't 'masculine'
- Not wanting to have sex
- Being in the 'friendzone'
- Standing up against misogyny
- Standing up for the chick who was raped and told the police
- Supporting/not supporting abortion
- Having hair/not having hair on their body
- Understanding why women don't like catcalls/arguing why they should appreciate catcalls
- Being chivalrous/not being chivalrous
- Having control over their own fucking body.
What do you know. It is the same list.
I'm done now. Good night everybody.
(Apologies for the massive wall of text)
Most Helpful Guy