The D*ck Size Thread to End All D*ck Size Threads...(yeah right, I wish)

Well, pretty much 90 times a day someone between the ages of 13 and 70 asks if his dick size is ok. As a woman, I will go out on a limb here and say, we are getting really bored of this question. So, here's the real honest truth about your penis size.

The D*ck Size Thread to End All D*ck Size Threads...(yeah right, I wish)

1. You can't change it. So worrying about it is only going to make you miserable. Please, don't worry.

2. Almost every single dick a woman ever sees is going to be within one inch of absolute average. The average size of the peen is SO common, that really very few men, statistically, are above it or below it by much.

The D*ck Size Thread to End All D*ck Size Threads...(yeah right, I wish)

3. Yes, there are some women (and men) who really like large penises. A lot of that has to do with how much we TALK about how big imposing circus weeners are so powerful and taboo and sexy. Eroticizing something like that is going to make it erotic for some people. That's just how it is. Refer to #1.

4. Only about 30% of women can even have an orgasm from stuff you do with your dick, no matter WHAT size it is. You aren't broken. We aren't broken. The female orgasm requires stimulation to the clitoris, and the penis really doesn't stimulate the clitoris much. 70% of women need to be orally or manually stimulated to orgasm before the penis even enters the picture, or manually stimulated in addition to the doodle diddling in the doodle hole. Once we HAVE an orgasm, our vaginas are felling all kinds of good, and THEN your dick is going to feel INCREDIBLE, and we might orgasm again.

In conclusion, your dick is probably just fine if it's clean (like, please take a shower before you ask us to put our mouths on it. Your ball sweat does not taste sexy), disease free, wearing a condom, and there's plenty of lube.

Bonus: Foreskins are cool. Eventually American girls will get used to them, because circumcision rates are going down. Yay for foreskins.

Bonus 2: Your tallywhackers do not stretch our vaginas out, or make our labia get extra flappy(?). Vaginas are made for a whole baby human to come out and then snap back into shape. But you can hurt us if your donger is not lubricated enough, so ALWAYS have condom-safe lube handy. (If you hurt us, you open micro abrasions in the vaginal wall which make us more susceptible to STDs, and STDs are sooooo NOT sexy.)

Bonus 3: Bends or curves in your member are pretty normal if they are not extreme. You should be having an annual physical, so let the doc tell you if your have a severe curve, called a stricture, otherwise, don't worry about it.

The D*ck Size Thread to End All D*ck Size Threads...(yeah right, I wish)

I'm being all silly about it, but I really want guys to know their dicks are just fine. Really, just fine. Don't worry so much.

12 15

Most Helpful Guy

  • great. but now im wondering how my dick is supposed to be owen wilsons nose

    • you know what I've always thought that women were the ones who had to deal with the most unrealistic standards of beauty/body shaming but I admit I've never had to confront anything remotely like that as an insecurity so thanks for helping to open my eyes

    • @powerwoman tbh, its not really a big deal for most guys. only when it comes up and when some girls say they like big ones, do we feel a bit insecure. otherwise you won't even think about it. unless you are like below the average, in that case i could imagine the guy being distraught. but overall, its not really that big a deal

    • I was actually referring to the fear of one's genitals not looking enough like Owen Wilson's nose... but what you said was also relevant I'm not dismissing that.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I HOPE every guy on here reads this!!!

    • Not before they post the penis size standard

    • @JonDoe1985 There is no penis size standard.

    • They went completely over your head. ;) Might be partially my delivery of the joke. Comment I'm replying to: "I HOPE every guy on here reads this!!!", too which I say they won't read this until they posted [what they suppose is] what the standard is. In other words, guys will continue to post without looking for answers regarding dick size.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

8 34
  • Great post. :)

    • Thanks.

  • This was really really good tbh!

  • every guy in the history of ever needs to read this.
    also yay for foreskins!

  • About time somebody did this!