Sexual Health
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What does the hymen have to do with virginity?

What does the hymen have to do with virginity?

Most people cross over this topic again and again, without having any real knowledge of what the hymen is. It is believed to be that the hymen is a small membrane that covers the opening of the female gentalia. Once a virgin has sex for the first time, this membrane is expected to break, and blood is expected to be lost.

People say that if you don't have a hymen, you don't have virginity either, but I'd like to debunk this myth. In short, virginity can be defined in a number of ways, but it has absolutely nothing to do with a hymen.

First, a hymen is not a membrane that covers the vagina. If this were to be true, it wouldn't be possible for girls to menstruate. The hymen is the fringe found around the outside of the vagina. In fact, some girls aren't even born with it, and it can be torn from something as easy as walking or riding a bicycle.

When most girls have sex for the first time, any bleeding would be due to bleeding of the tissue within the vagina, and the hymen (fringe located outside the opening of the vagina) only tears in some cases. Less than half the women who have sex for the first time actually experience bleeding.

So, in short, a hymen has nothing to do with virginity. Most people of the world have no idea what a hymen actually is, and its time females became aware of their body parts. If you didn't experience bleeding the first time, then don't worry. This varies from female to female.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Thanks for this great, informative myTake! I too, was one of those young girls who never bled or had any bad pains during sex for the first time. Part of that is I was going for internal exams before I lost my virginity.

    The term "popping one's cherry" has made adolescent boys think when they take a virgin, something is literally going to "pop" and cherry represents the bleeding. It's no wonder when people come up with these idioms that kids will grow up in to adults still thinking that if something didn't break the virginity must have been taken already. Just like @ConfusedGrocer said, it's reasons like this, young girls are shamed because of a myth. And not just in developing countries. In the western world too. A boy will have sex with a virgin, assume his girlfriend is lying because nothing "popped", and make her feel terrible all because he doesn't know what he's talking about.

    • 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

    • "and make her feel terrible" Ahhhh @Ozanne. You are such a kind soul. Always walking on the political correctness line :-). Let me say it for you. Elsewhere in the world, they don't just make her feel terrible...
      https://bit.ly/1Jo9gS7

    • Your welcome! And thank you for the support :)

Most Helpful Guy

  • I agree completely. They hymen has absolutely nothing to do with virginity. That's just an antiquated, naive way of thinking.

    • "Virginity" is just an antiquated way of thinking anyway. Have you ever wondered why there is no word to call someone who has never eaten ice cream or smelled a flower? Only for someone who never had sex. And we all know we are thinking of women when we say virgin, even if boys can be too. It's a word, a concept, that has been invented to pressure women. To control their sexuality. That it is still in use in 2015 baffles me. It should have disappeared from the rotation just like the word gramophone...

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • To some hymen is a symbol of virginity.
    But it does not define virginity itself.
    I liked this take.
    It can be of great use to people who did not already know these things.

  • Thank you! Finally someone is debunking this silly myth! No matter how much (or how little) experience you have with sex, knowing the biology behind it is so important for health and overall satisfaction.

  • Completely right and agree. I find it completely sad that there are ignorant people who will kill women for "not having a hymen" on their wedding night when the woman wasn't born with one. Or even if she doesn't bleed after. So sad.

  • Exactly. It also doesn't "break" or disappear, it's not something you lose. It just becomes more elastic, like a rubber band. Like you said, it can be torn a little but that's it. It usually heals itself and simply becomes more stretchy so that you don't bleed in the future (unless he enters you dry... ouch).

    I actually bled the first few times I had sex. So not only the first time. This was because I tensed up, and because my partner and I didn't use any lube. It only really hurt the first time, so I was kind of shocked the second time when I was still bleeding, but I hadn't felt any pain. So, bleeding is definitely not a sign of virginity. And not bleeding is not a sign of not being a virgin anymore. It really just depends on the girl.

  • THANK YOU!! I have been trying to get this point across to people for the longest time!

    • Your welcome :)

  • before i clicked in , i was expected more of psychologically than biologically dissects the virginity complex, wrong again, and there's small problem the biological part isn't very accurate, aren't you supposed to convince the guys that the absolute of virginity isn't that important, and grip on the feeling is everything?

  • Much of what you said is true, but to say that the hymen does not cover the vagina is wrong in many cases. It can cover it completely, in which case it does prevent menstrual blood from getting out and surgery is needed. Sometimes it covers it but has a tiny opening. And sometimes it has two openings, neither being big enough. Even if it is around the fringe, the opening may not be big enough. So saying it does not cover the vagina sometimes wrong. As long as that is in place leaving too small an opening, she will not have had sex and is a virgin. If the opening is able to be stretched, then she may or may not be a virgin.
    https://i.imgur.com/0zvZ4hE.gif

    • I know I made a mistake in the article, but thank you for correcting that. However, a woman's hymen has nothing to do with virginity period. A woman's hymen doesn't determine her virginity no matter how closed up or opened up it is. As in the picture, a normal hymen is open. Hymen is different for all women, and just because she has an open one does not indicate if she is a virgin or not.

    • But a closed one indicates she IS a virgin. As I said "As long as that is in place leaving too small an opening, she will not have had sex and is a virgin." And I followed that saying "If the opening is able to be stretched, then she MAY OR MAY NOT be a virgin."

    • Oooh, oh okay sorry. I kind of skimmed over that part so I must have gotten confused. You are correct--if a woman does have a closed hymen or one with a small opening that wasn't penetrated it could indicate she hasn't done any sexual activity. (I was trying to make the point that it wasn't normal, but you kind of did that already.)

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  • I was a really active child so I'm pretty sure my hymen was torn playing sports or something and don't remember bleeding whenever it happened. The first time I had sex there was some blood but it was from vaginal tearing.

  • Which guy spends the time to research and care about hymens and virginity?

  • It's sad that many people still don't understand basic biology :/
    Good take

  • Shhh. If this catches on, fewer girls will do anal thinking it preserves themselves.

    • lol, thank you for this comment.

  • Good points. I remember a guy friend of mine had sex with his girlfriend for the first time. It was her first time too, but he freaked out because she didn't bleed.

  • It's funny that while all you said is true, girls are killed or returned to their families like peaches that you bought from the market but turned out rotten in many countries because they didn't bleed. Even if they're actually a virgin.

  • I am actually surprised that so many people didn't know what it was, anyone who has taken any sort of sexual education or gotten the birds and the bee's talk from their parents should know what it is.

    Also while the hymen technically has nothing to do with virginity it is often associated with it because generally if it has not been broken through just living daily life and during physical activities then by the time a women has sex for the first time then it will break during her first time. In which case her virginity has been taken and it has been broken which is why it is associated with it so often it is also a sign that she hasn't had sex yet if it isn't broken, just similarities and things like that are why it is associated with virginity.

    • Parents don't have to know and school doesn't go into detail at all really. At least where I'm from :/

    • @Bards that's sad, my school's sex ed was quite detailed though I didn't take it though I preferred the talk from my parents, they were simple, direct and told me exactly what I needed to know.

    • @bards nothing more, nothing less.

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  • Sex Ed is so fucking horrible. Thanks for this wonderful knownlegde 🏆

    • Your welcome lol

  • yeah that´s true... i don´t get why guys are so obsessed with "making her bleed" the first time -.-

    • Some kind of silly macho thing. Thinks it makes them men or something.

  • Sorry but popping the cherry has everything to do with virginity.

    • No, it really fucking doesn't. Some people aren't even born with hymens. Some break it via completely non sexual activities. The idea that a hymen is an accurate representation of virginity is idiotic.

    • No it's not idiotic sorry.

    • I agree, you are indeed idiotic, anon.

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  • For years I agreed with the concept that the hymen had nothing to do with virginity. Personally, I was biased toward this view because I worked for Hanes Brands, the world's largest producer of tampons. Which, besides being ridiculously cheap to produce and extremely profitable, are the primary cause of torn hymens in the western world. If a girl has an intact hymen, a tampon tears it, either when being inserted for the first time or when removed once saturated and expanded. This was well documented in internal company studies. Although not a big deal in the US, we spent millions of dollars in Asia and Latin America trying to convince young women that tampon damage was irrelevant to one's virginity. An amusing side note is that, in both history and current practice, tampons are designed, produced and marketed almost exclusively by men. I still smile ironically every time I see a slick ad that portrays them has a symbol of feminine empowerment and independence.

    But, my personal epiphany regarding hymens and virginity came from individual experience. My first wife and I were both virgins, largely due to our religious upbringing. She had always use tampons and, whether that was the reason or not, had no noticeable hymen and did not bleed the first time we had sex. Long story short, our marriage became strained sex life went downhill, there were times I wondered about her faithfulness, and even whether she actually was a virgin when we were first married. It ended, and years later I met someone new.

    My new girlfriend, was an extremely independent thinker and had very specific ideas on hymens that I had never thought of. She said she agreed that the lack of a hymen does not mean you're not a virgin. However, felt it served a purpose as the PROOF of virginity. And, she intended to offer that proof only to the man she loved enough to give it to. Much like she knew I loved her, but she was fully expecting to get a big diamond ring as a proof of my commitment. In the end, she got her big ring, and we are still happily married today.

    I don't want to cheapen the moment by going into detail, but suffice to say if you've ever had sex with an intact virgin who's never used tampons you'll know it. It's something you remember even years later when away from home. I doubt there's any other woman that could offer the same proof of their love as my girlfriend did. Virtue matters. So does proof. Why must it be one or the other? A woman who valued both opened my eyes.

    • Tampons dont break or tear your hymen, neither does sex. If either one does cause her to bleed, she needs to go to the doctor. She could have serious issue that needs medical attn. A hymen doesn't cover the vaginal opening, it isn't a sheet across the opening, it should not be torn during sex. If you arouse her properly then it will stretch. This post makes me extremely sad because a woman has a lack of basic female anatomy, and let a man injured her during sex to "prove" her virginity. Let me say it again, if you have "proof" or blood, she was injured. It may be a small injury but thats what it is, and no it isn't normal or okay, it means you did it wrong.

  • Yes the hymen isn't to do with virginity in that no hymen doesn't = no virgin. Remember though that your statement about a fringe of tissue isn't necessarily true - the hymen can come in many shapes and variations depending on the girl and it can be imperforate - i. e. it does cover the opening of the vagina totally - and that can cause problems.

    https://youngwomenshealth.org/2013/07/10/hymens/

    • I know this--thank you for clarifying this again. I made a slight mistake in the article but it is true that a normal hymen is not imperforate. Thanks for the support.

  • The hymen is almost non-existent in pubescent females even before virginity these days. Therefore the Hymen has zero to do with virginity.

    It was covered in my take
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a11072-sexual-common-sense-that-apparently-isn-t-so-common

    • The hymen you're talking about isn't a hymen at all--its something females loose way before their pubescence (around their infanthood). The hymen is the stretchy fringe that surrounds the vaginal opening, it is not any sort of membrane like people say. A normal pubescent female does not have such a membrane--its naturally abnormal for her to have one, and she would need to have it removed for her to menstruate properly (it would be an out of the ordinary abnormality). The fringe is the hymen, and some females have it, some don't, and those who have it are supposed to keep it for life. There is no such thing as loosing a hymen at pubescence (or for first time of sex). Any girl who has a hymen will naturally always have it intact. Yes, the membrane you speak of is, and should be non existent in pubescent females--but that is not a hymen.

    • The hymen I am talking about is "the hymen", there is only one hymen. You may not have an understanding of what a hymen is so here's some info.
      https://youngwomenshealth.org/2013/07/10/hymens/

      The only time it would need to be remove would be if it were an Imperforate hymen which covers the opening completely but in most cases it is only partial.

      The ridge you are talking about does not need to be "torn" or forced open, it will relax and expand during arousal.

      The membrane I speak about is 100% the hymen and the ridge you speak of is not.

    • Ohhh I see. Yet again, you covered the fact that a hymen cannot completely cover the vaginal opening of a female. From what I read in the article you gave me, a closed hymen isn't normal in pubescent females. Thanks for clearing this up. And yes, the hymen has nothing to do with virginity. I never indicated that the ridge had to be torn, I said it only tears in some cases (like you said, it only stretches). There should be no reason for why the fringe or ridge of the vagina should be torn the first time of sex. When I was referring to a membrane that needed to be removed, I did mean one that completely covers the vaginal opening.

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