After how many dates do you have sex with a guy?

[Anonymous]

so I know there’s a lot of people that say by the third date but I feel like that’s so soon? I don’t want to be a hoe and sex isn’t my #1 priority. I know a lot of people will say just wait until you’re comfortable and it feels right but I don’t wanna seem like a prude or a hoe.

[Anonymous]

I want to give my opinión too and if you have some input go ahead and tell me.
Im a mature lady but I lack experience of sex 100%. I met a guy almsot 3 years ago, around my age as well, single too. We had only had gone on actual real dates just the 2 of us, just 2 times. Once , one month after we met and still we made out on taht date (no sex there of course but also he did not know my secret back then).

Then things happened after this first date in the guys personal life and we really stopped communicating or even contacting each other much less seeing each other of course, for about one year. Until this year when we ran into each other again and we saw this year 3 times but not on dates, we saw each other in different circumstances that did not allow us to be on real dates as we saw each other and we were surrounded by people these 3 times so there were no actual dates per se.

Then just one month ago finally I went on a actual date with the guy just him and me (let me clear this was the second date with him since I met him like 2 years and a half ago). We are not a couple, we are lets say Friends, we are not strangers either or that he is a guy I met in a bar or niteclub anything of that. I met him through my cousin who is his best friend at a family trip.

So just last month I went out on a date and we end up making out again (no sex here either) but this time the guy did bring up the subject of get intimate, he wanted that day after the lunch date was ove rbut I told him no I had my period hehe but did not feel like ready to do so either) I asume he believe we know enough to feel comfortable to each other alreaady to be intimate.

Now I know that if I go out again with the guy he will expect this time we Do have intimacy and it be our 3rd date ina course of almsot 3 years.

Ahh and the secret I said above was Im a V and on my second date I confessed it to the guy, cause he asume I was not. Im still a V., anyway.

So now Is it too soon then on the 3rd date for me to have sex? Considreing the gap of time that I di dnto see this guy for soem issues in his personal life thereofre there was no contact with him or even communication, until one month ago I had my 2nd date?

I know the guy sure but I dont know him like 100% yet beause I haven't gone out with him as much as I wanted due to the circumstances said above.,

[Asker]

I would say just like everyone else has been telling me to just do whatever you feel comfortable with. if you think you’re ready, do it! but if you feel you don’t know him well enough and that you may regret it later in life, don’t do it. But if your age it says is true, I say since you are very well an adult you are much more mature and probably could handle it a lot better than someone very very young. congrats to you for staying a virgin. but you are very well an adult and having sex on the first date wouldn’t even make you a slut or a whore. If you don’t want it to be a hookup and you’re wanting a relationship with this man, I’d say wait until you’re 100% ready because when you are you won’t question it, you’ll know.

[Opinion Owner]

I never had sex with this guy in my past 2 dates withhim it was on the second date he did bring up the subject of getting laid due to some reply I gave him 7 mos before about intimacy so he was curious to know at that answer I gave him months before, that is why on this 2nd date sex subject has to be brought up. Im not leaning to a serious relationship with him due to the fact he does not want to get married ever i mean to anyone, he does not believe much in marriages. He was married many many years ago but after that he n ever married again or had something serious with any other girl. He enjoys being single.

[Opinion Owner]

Also since I am attracted to him and I want to see him again on a date for movies or dinner or lunch ina weekend. Pretty sure he will expect taht after the movies or dinner or lunch we will have our private moment at some motel (who is chepar tan a hotel and we can't afford one nite on a hotel too expensive anyway especially if hours beofre we spend it on movies or dinner) and that be my 3rd date with the guy if that happens. That is why im in this dilema if i see him for the 3rdate I know he wants sex if I dont see him Im sparing that moment and Im relax and no problem and if I see him on the 3rd date he for sure will expect some sex he wotn want this time to be just movies or dinner like the 2 previous dates. He may believe we are adults what is the deal of not being intimate, people at our ages get intimate sooner rather tan later and it is natural we are not kids anymore. I mean is easy to say that if a owman is experienced and alreayd had sex before but not my case Im a V.

[Asker]

oh chica you are stressing way too much!!! follow your gut feeling. if you want to, do it!!! if you don’t then don’t. You shouldn’t feel pressured and sure as hell at any age he shouldn’t “expect” it from you. clearly he doesn’t want anything serious, so just keep that in mind. if I were you.. I’d wait. you seem way too conflicted and you should make your first time special with someone you don’t even question and know you love or at least have a very strong liking towards. but if you don’t care about it being special and who you lose it to, have sex with him. It’s up to you but I say I wouldn’t considering you seem way too conflicted and that’s not a good sign.

[Opinion Owner]

You said he seem not to want anything serious with me. Well I know since I met him 2 years ago he will never get marry. He enjoy being single and have his freedom But im the same at my age I dont tend to form a family or marry either. Im too old for that to start to become a mom or marry , not financially ready to marry Im used not to be married or less to haev kids for 46 years of my life. But that does not mean I dont like to experience the idea to hang out with Friends like any normal human being does Yes I could be a Little confilcted but it is beause im not use to any of this before until now. isn't it normal? I mean if you want to know in my past I had never dated ever ever much less have one boyfriend, I never had a super active social life ever. during my work years It was from work, to home and viceversa, 5 days a week. Much younger I did nto hang out muich either to social parties or any of that, I was shy also. Never dated or saw guys on often, or have bfs either. So yes

[Opinion Owner]

until now this is all new to me what is going on even if shows up late at my age. Probably for the guy is not, because he was married before but super long time ago, so he had some intimate experience I bet, not me This is the first time I really really am attracted to a guy and more when Iknow the guy also feels attracted to me. In my past no guys never seem attracted to me, beacuse in my past even if I never had a boyfriend or dates or saw guys, Guys never asked me out for any thing not college, no workplaces, never ever. Guys do not even made passes at me. SO is why now now this is Brand new experience to me. Noonewould believe im a 46 yrd old single, boyfriendless my whole life, dateless my whole life V, in this century that is rare.

[Asker]

I wasn’t sure if you wanted something serious or not! But that makes sense. I don’t think it’s that weird, I say good for you! You’re not even “old” I say like 60s is considered old. Honestly though to sum this all up for you I say go have fun with him! Do whatever you feel is right! If you wanna have sex with him then do so! Nobody is going to judge you!

[BitterSweetApplePie]

If I like the guy and see a future relationship with him then by the third date I'll have sex with him, unless he wishes to wait longer. Sex isn't my number one priority and I'm not a ho, it's just how I do things. My current boyfriend and I had sex on the third "date" and have had the best relationship ever. Doesn't really mean anything unless the person you go out with is a scumbag.

[Asker]

Very true I appreciate this

[FutureTrunks]

It’s different for everybody. There’s no right or wrong answer. I just say, wait until your comfortable and know how to read a guys intentions so you know whether or not he’s genuinely interested in you or is he just looking for sex. It doesn’t take much to know but a lot of women fall short in that department.

[Asker]

You’re very right

[freakyzeaky]

Usually, most long-term minded people wait for almost 2 months, or from dates 5 - 8. By then, the exclusivity talks may have started too.

Casual daters who have the mentality of "whatever happens happens" may only wait until date 3, or even have a hard fast rule that if the guy doesn't make a move by date 3 then he isn't worth it. After all, what separates a friend from a romantic partner is the intimacy and the sex. So I would say sexual talk should at least happen by date 3, maybe snog/makeout, and the guy trying to make some moves. If the woman stops him and says she wants to be exclusive or wants to take things slow, relationship-minded men will respect that.

[Asker]

This is the most helpful and intelligent post, my favorite. Thank you so much. I appreciate it, this is what I needed.

[freakyzeaky]

Certainly. You are most welcome. ^_^ You also have to gauge the guy's personality too. If you are dating a sweet shy guy, it may take him longer to get comfortable before he starts to reveal his sexual side to you. Just because a guy doesn't go for the first kiss until date 3, doesn't mean he isn't interested in romance. If the guy is really outgoing, really touchy-feely, then you'd probably have to expect him to go for the kiss and attempt more sexual touch sooner. I am sure you are aware, but the shy could actually be the better lover between the two. The more attentive and open-minded guy is going to pay more attention to you in bed. So really, the assertiveness doesn't really dictate whether the guy is going to be any good. The pushy guy might actually be a player or he may think he knows it all and won't take the time to warm you up properly or learn what makes you feel good.

[Arvindp]

I agree with this thought

[kitty71]

If the guy and the girl ahd knownt each other for 3 years but thye are not exclusive they are more Friends thatn really a couple. and they ahve been on dates twice and in those 2 times they had made out already and the guy had rubbed her legs over the clothes cause that turnss him on. U think by the 3rd date he wants sex already? A guy I like wish on the 3rd date we got intimate.

[freakyzeaky]

@kitty71 in your case you already got past the getting to know each other phase. It only makes sense that the guy may feel comfortable enough to get close and intimate with you sooner than what you are used to. If you really like the guy, think it will go somewhere, and you are comfortable with him, then I don't see the problem with escalating things sexually. Just make sure that the guy sees you as more than a friend with benefits unless you are fine with that sort of arrangement. In your case, I would just do it when it feels right. If he makes you feel good outside of sex, and you have a good feeling about him, go for it.

[guy532]

I've never had a third date where I wasn't already sleeping with a girl by then, meaning it happened on the first or second date. I think I've gotten past the stage of wanting the challenge of bedding a girl on the first date. I think you should wait until you're ready and not worry what others think. If you want to have sex on the first date because it's going super well and you're extremely into the guy then go for it, if you want to get to know him better but are definitely attracted to him then nothing wrong with waiting until you feel the time is right.

[Asker]

Very true thank you

[kiara23]

I wouldn't base it on how many dates you've been on, base it on how you feel around them and also how they feel around you

[JoeDavila]

Their is no certain number of dates u have to go on before sex. With me and my partner I waited 2months before we had sex. We went on countless dates. Depending on your connection and if u see him as a potential partner could help u decide. If he see's you as a prude then u know he just wants sex, and he'll ask about it numerous times and try to pressure u into it. But if he respects u and is cool with waiting then u have potential. I probably went too long on this question, I hope this helped a bit

[tinyclit]

It's not a matter of a set number of dates. It's whenever you're ready. Could be measured in weeks, or a month or two. If not by then, then probably would have broken up with him.

[trh89]

Do it whenever you feel comfortable doing it. You can show him you're still interested in him without having sex with him, just make sure he knows that. If that's clear to him and you're worth while in his eyes then he'll wait with you. If he pressures you or leaves because you won't do it, then that's the only thing he really wanted out of it, so nothing lost!

[SamKoop]

After two

[GiggityGuy]

There shouldn't be a number, to be honest. It's whatever you feel comfortable with.

And I can guarantee you that those "feminists" who still slut-shame would call you a slut even if you waited for 7 dates before having sex with someone. Sleep with more than one guy ever? Slut. . . .

You should do what YOU want, not what everyone else thinks you should do. Fuck society. Society gets just about everything wrong on just about every level.

It's your life. . . . live the damned thing. lol

[goddess87]

a month after speaking everyday so you know who you are getting involved with.

[PasticheGrizzly]

I guess till you real ready, so it’s up to everyone’s own ideals. I dated a guy for 6 months and never slept with him so. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[OlderAndWiser]

What is your number now? What do you want your number to be when you are 30 years old?

[BrittBratt2416]

None, that's not even a relationship, it's just the 3rd date. If it's not official, why are you even giving it up already? That's how women these days get tossed to side so fast when you give it up too fast.

[jamesa0]

I'd just like to add that giving it up early makes it awkward. Even if he really likes you during the first date the dynamic between the two is completely different after sex.

[Asker]

Thank you for that

[bag-lady-purple]

I've never managed more than two🙈

[ladsin]

Depends on the guy, or the gal...

[PrincessPie]

I only have sex with people i'm in relationships with, so the amount of dates for me is irreverent just depends when we become exclusive.

[Kithor]

Everyone I know seems to be doing it on the first or second date (if you can even call that a date). It usually doesn't end well. For me, it would only be after I'm exclusive with her and actually trust her, probably on the order of months, which is why I'm still a virgin.

[slatyb]

Have sex when YOU want to have sex. But if you know that sex is not going to happen for some months after you start dating a guy, you might want to set expectations on the first date. If it went well, say something like "Thanks. I had a great time but you should know that it takes me a while to be comfortable enough to have sex with someone. It's probably not going to happen until I've known you for a couple of/a few/some months."

[brownboojie]

Well I wait until about 6 months or so

[justiceee]

Omg unlucky guy

[Asker]

If they actually like and respect you they can wait ^ not “unlucky”

[justiceee]

Nope unlucky

[Asker]

You’re very immature for a 26 year old and from your questions you seem to act a lot younger. I don’t think you have room to talk about a guy being unlucky when you’re asking all these questions about sex, you seem confused and are probably a virgin.

[justiceee]

Follow me. you will see me

[brownboojie]

@justiceee if he's really into me then he can wait.

[soccerchick4eva]

No set time, just when I feel comfortable with it

[DoctaMario]

Whenever you feel like is the right time.

[majestic17]

I don't have sex with a guy I have sex with a man

[Asker]

Thanks for this irrelevant comment lol

[BillieJean1070]

It varies but usually 3 or 4 real dates.