Are you confident enough to ask someone outright for sex?

I don't think this is a strange topic to discuss here.
But it really has me wondering, with all these relationship titles and issues with consent etc etc.
wouldn't it be easier to just say you just want sex?

Or is that just too upfront?
There's no wires being crossed, no decoding.

Do you think this question comes across differently depending on the gender asking?

🤷🏾‍♀️
3 5

Superb Opinion

  • It's a perfectly good question to ask... if that's what you want.

    Several years ago, I was sitting at a bar in a town just north of London England around dinner time, and overhead a couple talking at the far end of the bar. She was telling him that she had gotten all dressed up to have sex tonight, and that she hoped he would take good care of her. After a few minutes, they got up and left the bar together. I ;m pretty sure she got what she wanted because I saw them together at the same bar the next night.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Personally no, I just don't have to self-confidence in my physical appearance or my sexual prowess to throw that out there. But I can respect other people who can, it takes a really self-assured confident person who knows what they want to be that forward with someone.

    • I have to agree with the second part of your comment. I wonder though if just by asking it automatically changes the status/perception of that persons level of confidence?

    • I think depends on the situation and the relationship between the people. If it is two people who know each other fairly well, and they think hey friends with benefits would be great but I don't want to date you, I could see that making you think the person asking you is confident and knows what they want. On the other hand, if you ask a friend you don't know that well, or a co-worker or a classmate or somebody who you don't have a ton of groundwork in with, it would make them look so much worse because then it's like fuck you don't even know me as a person, you think I'm just something to fuck.

    • I completely hear what you're saying. All very valid points.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girls

  • One of my, you could almost say trade marks, is "Shut up and fuck me" usually cause he keeps talking, being nervous and not getting the hints, like uh what do you want... like geez, just shut up and fuck me.

    Walking up to a stranger and just asking, I would use a different phrase... more like hey how are you, are you interested in having sex with me?

    • You've done that before? I'm guessing you've got a high rate of success.

    • @DrewJohnson Not some random stranger on the street, but places you meet people for that... clubs, bars, or raves. As of yet, only turned down by guys that had girlfriends, which I'm glad they said no.

    • That's awesome

  • Lol this would be an interesting experiment. Most people would definitely say no because as an instant first impression many would think oh they are probably like this with a lot of people and may be diseased. But to ask this to someone who may be shy and hoping for someone to fuck them I'd wonder if they'd say yes.

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What Girls & Guys Said

22 63
  • No way I have never done that in my life. I can't even fathom it.
    But if women did this, imagine how happy men would be! What a game changer.
    Yes I think you're right; the question is a bit more palatable coming from a female.
    It's not my cup of tea but I support directness in communication. 👍

  • So i have to be in love with someone to have sex with them. However, if i was the type to hookup, i feel i could easily as a dude to fck my lights out and he’d be down. Not every dude would say yes but for sure someone would

  • Yes but it's important to know how to read the situation or you can make him uncomfortable.

  • In my case is not about confidence, I just don't want to have sex now. Besides I would never ask that.
    You don't know how the person would react, some people are just looking for sex while others want something deeper and meaningful.
    It doesn't matter which gender is asking, it's too upfront.

  • in todays world, from either that could come out as sex abuse, today you need the united nations to be there with you,

  • MOST folk's egos don't handle DIRECT CANDID rejection well~
    "Yes I do, but NOT WITH YOU..." is TOO 'real' for most folks!

  • I am but would not do it.

    it’s lack of respect, it’s crass and zero style.

    also just no fun and that’s what it’s all about

  • Sex and age make a difference.
    I think a woman can pull it off, guys unlikely. I think most women would get offended by that question.
    I have seen that work in college, so ages 18-21 have a chance too

  • To someone I know, yes

  • It depends on the whole scenario of the whole situation and things have happened prior but I have done that and it is worked out well LOL and I have been asked before and sometimes it has worked out well and sometimes I turned it down

  • Probably not

  • I can be blunt. 😊 The reaction can be priceless.

  • I've asked my husband for sex like that. Not anyone else but I am bold enough to do something like that

  • Nope but I'm confident enought to give subtle hints until he finally gets it

    • @tracee yeah that is hot. would you have sex with a woman if she gave subtle hints she wanted it?

  • Oh for sure. I can't (and too afraid) to go up to a woman and ask her for sex. I'm afraid she will think that is all I want from her and that I think that is all she is good for. And that is the furthest thing from the truth.

  • I have before but I don't really have that confidence anymore. Or rather, the act of asking directly would be perceived as an act of aggression so if she says yes then that indicates she would want aggressive sex. Which I can do for about 3 minutes, tops.

  • It would be easier, but personally I'm not confident enough to do so.

    • 99% of the time it will work for you... go ahead and try it sometime

  • that sounds too crude for me... I didn't even do that when I was in relationships.. lol

    and I know very well my ex-girlfriends would make a face like "are you just ordering me like I'm a Subway sandwich?" lmao

  • It would never work for a guy. The study has been done. A guy asked 100 women outright for sex and got nothing. A girl asked 100 guys and many said yes (of course 😂)
    Not possible for a guy to do this and very difficult even the normal way.

    • Oh dear. 😕

    • I'm serious. You can ask. I do but to answer your question, I've got the confidence to, but it wouldn't work. At least not with most girls. The better question would be to ask the ladies how many would be receptive to this, being asked outright for sex, not many

    • @mark000h Yes, it is definitely a clear case of sexual discrimination. Who can we sue?

    • Show All
  • Yes. I can be very blunt about it.

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