I’ve grown up in a Muslim family, being taught Muslim values in The Netherlands. Not that there’s anything wrong with those in general, since they are often very similar with western values, but in some areas they are more strict. One of those for example is concerning sexual freedom. Especially in more strict Muslim communities sex is something you don’t talk about, and expressing yourself sexually is something simply not done.
Now you might think that growing up in the Netherlands, might give some more freedom when it comes to expressing yourself sexually, since it’s being considered a very tolerant and open minded country when it comes to sex. But I’ve found out this is only appearances. In fact, I've come to find out that even though some countries themselves consider themselves very tolerant and liberated when it comes to sexual freedom, they’re not.
Yeah, sure, The Netherlands did legalize prostitution, which may sound like they’re really open minded when it comes to sex. But that it’s been legalized doesn't mean it has became more acceptable. In fact, sometimes it even seems as if it’s more controversial than ever before. And yes, we have a gay parade in Amsterdam, but the violence against gay people has been growing in recent years. In short, The Netherlands is not as tolerant is it may sound.
But now let’s talk about the sexual freedom of women. Some of you may think women already have sexual freedom, achieved through the sexual revolution in the 70’s. But again, this is only appearances. I’ll give you an example. Guy sleeps with 10 girls, and he’s cool, because he’s done it with 10 girls. Girl sleeps with 10 guys and she’s a slut, because she slept with 10 guys. There seems to be a double standard here. A guy doing it is cool, but a girl doing the same thing is considered to be a slut, a judgment of immoral behavior.
Another example. Most parents tell their daughters not to sleep with just any guy, but to be careful about it. And no, we’re not talking about the safety issues like risking STD’s, but simply the fact that the daughter shouldn’t sleep with the very first guy she meets’. Yet, men are almost never advised to watch out who they sleep with, or that they should wait for the right girl. Apparently it’s something that only applies to women.
Another example. A girl wearing a short tight dress is considered slutty by most for dressing provocative. But a guy going out without a shirt is no problem, and not considered to be slutty in any way. Apparently different rules apply to how to dress. And as soon as women dress how they like, they often get slut shamed for doing so.
In other words, women are still being suppressed sexually. Women are not allowed to have their sexual freedom, or they’ll be slut shamed. And this sentiment is even stronger in the Muslim community, as well as some other religious communities.In short, women are being pressed by society to behave in a way society approves, and if they do not, they will be put to shame for it.
So my question becomes. What is wrong with being a slut? In my opinion a slut is simply a woman who chooses to deny society’s double standards, and chooses for complete sexual freedom. She doesn't care that people slut shame her, she embraces it. And by embracing her inner slut, nothing someone else can say to her to put her to shame will harm her. After all, what are you gonna call a slut? A slut? Yeah, she is, so what?
I wish more women would stop the double standards society has, and embrace their inner slut, and admit it to the world that they are sluts, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Because in the end, a slut is a free woman, free from society’s pressure on girls to act like how society demands. Free to dress, fuck and sleep with whoever she wants. And than, maybe, if enough girls and women will embrace their inner slut, and show it to the world, we can change something.
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