Freeing The Female Orgasm
But, as a whole, there is so much unhealthy anti-spiritual, psychological crap tossed on top of sex that it can take joy out of it for many of us, especially women.
Sexual Double Standards
I was watching a commercial where Gene Simmons was walking across a lawn. As he strolls towards his home, various hot women hold up signs that read 200, 4379, 5006. The announcer pipes in, asking the question that I suppose, is on everybody's minds, "Just how many women has Gene slept with?"
As I watched, I briefly mused about what would happen if a woman starred in that very same commercial.
You guessed it.
There would be a firestorm of protest, and the girl would be called anything from a disgusting whore to a carrier of diseases. I often find it interesting that a man who sleeps with thousands of women is never looked at as a potential spreader of STD's--but if a woman has more than four partners, then men are whispering to their pals "Dude, you better wrap it, she's experienced."
Isn't it wholly possible that if a woman simply enjoys sex (not a crime) and is intelligent, that she could be taking due precautions just like Mr. Playah dude with 101 chicks under his belt? And if she is taking precautions and being responsible with her sexuality, why is she labeled at all?
Just what is with this fascination with men being able to have sex with tons of women anyway?
Concubine Syndrome
I think it all hearkens back to the days when men of power showcased it with the number of wives and concubines he could accrue. Although Christian marriage is currently monogamous, the bible indicates that great Israeli Kings, like David and Solomon, were said to have thousands of wives and concubines. These women were mere possessions, and if one of the "chosen" happened to be number 3,567 on the list and wasn't gotten to for years, well, tough.
Women could languish for years without the benefit of human touch, comfort or love, and if these emotionally and mentally abused attention starved beauties dared to find comfort in the arms of another, well, off with her head.
To an extent, I believe this antiquated paradigm still exists.
Society still views women as possessions to collect and a way to attain social status for a male. It doesn't matter if men have a "reputation", this only makes him the man! The thing I find most interesting is, that no matter how many ladies this dude may have in his "stable", he doesn't want them to have relations with other men.
Guys who say that they denounce such behavior quietly envy the guy, often wondering what the man's "secret" is. If given a chance, most men may indulge in the very same behavior, but don't for any number of reasons.
The Appeal of Virginity
On the other hand, a woman's virtue is all tied up in her vagina and its lack of penile insertion. It would appear that a woman who hasn't had sex is the height of capture for men. I find this funny since, once a man deflowers her, she won't be a "virgin" anymore. Also, at some point ALL women (unless they join a nunnery) are going to no longer be virgins. Mothers, daughters, sisters, preachers wives, humanitarians at some point, they have had or will have sex.
What is the big deal?
Sex is a natural progression of human evolution, why are we attributing "good" or "bad" to female sexuality?
Blame Freud
Let us now consider Freud's theory of penis envy. The theory claims that at some point in feminine sexual development, a girl realizes she doesn't have a penis and gets a little peeved about the fact. I believe this "erroneous theory" springs from ancient ideas that women were incapable of enjoying pleasurable sensations from sex.
Because women were supposedly unable to experience orgasms, the sensual escapism that could be had by boys was a thing to get jealous about. With this rationale in place, any woman who actually enjoyed sex was displaying a "masculine" trait, and was therefore, psychologically damaged.
What great minds like Freud never took into account is the differing physiological as well as psychological aspects of female sexuality. It wasn't that women couldn't enjoy sex, it just takes her a bit more to get to the finish line. If the 70 percent of women who have never had a orgasm via penetration sex is to be believed, men still don't understand the concept of taking time with their lover to get her there.
Humph, and men wonder why they have to beg for sex.
Takin' Shame Out The Game
To free human sexuality, we have to free it for women. Men are already freed in this realm. If men were able to give lend their counterparts a hand and give sexually responsible female props for her experience too, women won't feel so compelled to hide their enjoyment and men will benefit!
I emphasize sexually responsible because I think as with the eating of food, we can take our natural response too far one way. A person who eats too much food can become unhealthy and obese. A person who becomes hedonistic can potentially obtain diseases and spread them, guy or girl. They also become emotionally incapable of sustaining long term relationships over time. Believe me, I am not advocating promiscuous shenanigans of sex romp free for alls. In fact, I think sex is always better in the realm of committed relationships (one California study indicated that people who commit to long term monogamous relationships are physically healthier, and I quote "While men seem to benefit more from the calm a steady partner brings into their lives, there is evidence that both sexes enjoy quieter pain centers in the brain and increased cortisol production when in the company of a spouse"
Also, sex in a committed, LOVING relationship is best when people communicate, and feel comfortable in a GOOD way, which makes sex fun and increasingly enjoyable. My own experience in marriage has been that our sex gets more and more mind blowing and better with time.
Fellas, give the girls a break. If women could be taught the finer points of responsible sexuality, pleasuring men and finding pleasure for themselves, sex will be spiritual, adventurous and fun for all!
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