Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Ok, I absolutely do not understand these girls who say "guys only want me, or girls, for one thing".
I absolutely do not understand it. I've been in 5, 8+ month, relationships in my life and these have been the only men I've slept with. One was young love, two were absuive, one emotionally detached, and currently with the last one. That's why there are more than I'd like there to be, so please don't judge. And I can honestly say I've never had a one night stand or "slept around" for the hell of it. I have never been used for sex or even felt that I have been.
I feel that the girls who feel this way have obviosuly given this guy who "only wants one thing" some notation that that's all she's good for. Because if they haven't, the guy wouldn't have even approached you in the first place. Whether you're 1) dressed promiscuously 2) they've heard you were promiscuous 3) they've seen you be promiscuous 4) you have promiscuous friends or 5) someway proven to be involved with the word promiscuous in any way, even if you aren't.
I am not downing women who only want one night stands or flings, or even judging these women who seem to find these guys who that's all they want is sex. I'm just saying not very many men have approached me wanting one night stands or just for casual sex. And once they start talking to me, they quickly realize I am not one of these girls that gives it up easily. I've been told that it's because I exude this sense of wanting more than just a fling or one night stand. Basically, I expect more from men than what they want to give. Hints why I've only attracted a few, and hints why #5 will be my last. Not saying all the men I dated were excellent choices, but they never used me for sex. And that's the topic.
I just simply do not understand how it happens. There are certain ways to act/be to where a man will take you seriously and eventually you'll both get what you want, assuming you'll attract the right guys from the get go.
SOMETHING FOR THE LADIES:
Some of you women need to realize something, men spend their money on what's most important to them. So if he can't bother to buy you roses, or take you on a nice date, or bother to even spend the $8 to clean his car up at the car cleaning place, then dump him and consider yourself lucky that you did before he "got what he wanted" and left.
Find someone who prides himself in being chivalrous. And I mean THE WORKS!! Giving you his coat, flowers, dinners, opening your doors, pulling your chair out for you, standing when you get up to leave the room, and many more. If he can't bother to do this, then don't bother giving him the goods.
There are still men out there who do this, they are just looking for the women who require it of them. I promise! Not enough women are holding men to the standards the should be held at. Men want to be called men without even realizing what being a man is. And same goes for women. Know your worth, and require what you deserve! This goes to men and women! There will be a lot less heartache and shame!
SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE:
It's simple really. Find someone who is willing to prove they are worth your goods, and if they don't even bother trying to prove themselves worthy, DUMP THEM! REQUIRE MORE FROM THE PEOPLE YOU DATE, SET A STANDARD!! And if they can't meet your standard, kick their ass to the curb, QUICK FAST AND IN A HURRY! That will save you a lot of heartache and a lot of shame in the end if you've given up the goods and they leave you. MEN, this goes for you to. Before you go spending your hard earned money, make sure she's worthy of your money. And if she's not, DUMP HER! Find someone who will pursue your heart, Find someone who makes you a better person!
• Any input on why guys act this way, from a guys perspective?
• Any input on why girls feel this way or accept this behavior, from a girls perspective?
DISCLAIMER: This myTake is not to offend or step on anyones toes. I'm simply here to understand why guys are this way and why some girls seem to only attract this kind of guy. And if you decide to comment with some kind of negative bullcrap, it will result in NOT ONE RESPONSE from me, I will not lose one minute of sleep over it, and I will assume you are one of the characters listed above and you're getting offensive because I'm on a touchy subject. Resulting in lots of laughter on my part. Thanks and goodnight.
What Girls & Guys Said
13 50I've noticed that the girls that say this are normally the ones that continually 'date' arseholes...
I care about the stability and the decisiveness of the person I choose to enter a relationship with. Having 5 sexual relationships under your belt at the meager age of 21 would automatically disqualify you from my selection.
Why? because firstly, it demonstrates that you are not cautious enough in your selection of mates since two relationships were with abusive men. My question would be "Why didn't you learn after the first failed relationship the factors and identifiers present in men that lead to the destruction of your relationship?" Would you be blissfully ignorant of any flaws I might possess and engage into a courtship blinded by lustful delusion? Women like you have red flags sprawled all over them.
Secondly, from my experience that is an unnecessarily high amount of baggage accumulated in too short a period of time, and thus there is a high probability of you being mentally unstable. You are a walking recipe for bitterness and perpetual misandry throughout your adult life.
The phrase isn't "guys only want one thing". It's "guys only want sex".
Also, your "for the ladies" part is absolute bullshit. Chivalry is something that belongs in the middle ages. I'm not being disrespectful to women, but I'm not going to open the door for a woman because of her gender. Get the fuck over it.
Roses mean nothing, by the way.
You're 15. Come back when you're an adult and aren't living at home with your parents. :)
*knows of no good answer to my argument, instead starts ridiculing me for my age*
"Hey, I'm 21 and I'm an ADULT now! I am the smart person in this room! Now shut up while I go do adult things, like go to a bar or wait for men to open doors for me!"
No one said that. I'm just saying you're ignorant to how to world really works. So come back when you have a little experience under your belt. That's all.
And I have no answer to your argument because your point is invalid. Especially since you have no clue of how the world works. End of discussion from you.
I have no clue how the world works? You're six years older than me. You're just judging me for my age and you have no reason to do so.
And I'm not so stupid as to find men at bars. Lol that's most women's problem. YOU WILL BOT FIND A GOOD MAN AT THE BAR! Duh.
Not*
And you live in the United States. You're used to a delusional society where women expect men to pay for them on dates or open doors or offer them a jacket. In Europe, people pay for their own shit, open doors for everyone and not just women, and bring a jacket for themselves.
Also, who are you to decide when a discussion ends? Do you think you're some sort of authority just because you're a measly six years older than me?
@93stepsawayfromhome Fucking well done, kid! You stuck every one of your points, called out shaming tactic AND ad-hominem attack against you, and you're just 15. "YOU WILL BOT FIND A GOOD MAN AT THE BAR!" And you are a lot smarter than this lady. In my estimation, you are both more intelligent and more emotionally mature than this woman. And yeah, she likes to talk about how the "world works," but like most Americans, she think America is a ship sailing around the world by itself on a sea of Mexican migrant workers. Americans think the rest of the world is either exactly the same as America, or a bunch of grass huts and people with no shoes.
Not to mention the way America works is changing. The screams of despair of women are deafening. There are more and more women over the age of 20 who can't find a man and can't even get laid, who aren't even ugly! Pretty soon they're going to have to start changing their behavior.
@Transigence Thank you!
Sometimes with my ex i wanted to do so many things for her, but sometimes you just haven't got the money. So i use to do other stuff instead.
Only the guys you go after, it seems.
well my take again it's not that I don't think about sex it just that I don't think about it when I see a girl but sometimes I wonder I am in this for the right reasons? I just wanna know if I'm a terrible person who doesn't deserve a girlfriend that would make things easier
Ya all we want is a loyal girlfriend that doesn't make us feel like we have to compete with others.
Really? That sounds nice.
@LovelyDisquiet ya well it's hard to find now days
Personally I don't care about you girls beyond that one thing. None of you are worth it.
Definitely agree with you.
See ladies, guys out there who agree. But that's ok, keep going for people who pursue your vagina, not your heart. I'm sure that'll work out.
No no no. So you're the lucky girl that always has a bf? Have you ever thought maybe you should be alone for longer, or that jumping from relationship to relationship you've molded yourself into what a guy wants instead of being yourself? I've been single for quite sometime and I've made a career and found myself in the time being and I'll remain single till I find a man I can pride myself with being, and yes being taken advantage of, harassed and dealing with complete assholes that do only want one thing will be a part of it. One thing I do know is that I won't settle for just any guy that offers to be mine, because I've had plenty. I'll wait for the one that I think is right for me and have more then "8+ month relationship.
Stop fucking Chad Thundercock (aka Alpha males) and you'll realize all the guys you just don't get those tingle for are actually the ones who want you for more than sex.
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a23529-the-effects-of-the-80-20-rule-the-future-of-our-society-s-love-life
Wow. I dunno what I want. I'll just never understand women. But not everyone including me is good at this dating thing.
If everyone is kicking everyone else to the curb for random petty things like not cleaning their car or something... We'll die out as a species haha
I agree with having standards. But I disagree with dumping quick and in a hurry. You can't possibly get to know someone quick and in a hurry. People are complex... Give yourself time to get to know who you're talking to, if you're interested in them, but then, if they really won't make you happy, and you need to "settle" to be with them, then end it, for both your sakes．
I'm just gonna lay out what the thoughts that came to my mind upon reading your MyTake, same way as you did:
You're 21 yo, you've been in FIVE 8+ months relationships (?) already, and those are the "only" guys you've slept with. I can assume you hardly had the time to have ONS, but I digress.
Frankly, you sound both naive, in denial and arrogant in my view, considering your background and all.
There ARE many men (and women) who are only after one thing. This is no dream, it's almost something set in stone, and it's not just something you read on a book or your mom told you. In Western societies you can just look around and spot it. I doubt that many women can walk around an entire day without being catcalled at least once, and it's certainly not because the way they dress.
Do you have brothers, cousins, uncles? Were you never told 'I know what they want because I'm a man, I know what men are thinking, I listen to conversations in the gym'?, etc, etc.
I'm not saying every guy is like that, but don't make it sound like women only meet this kind of guy because they're emitting some wrong pheromone. Some of us have to work hard to dodge this kind of guy as if they were bullets.
I believe the only women who truly think like this are the ones who "give it up" far too quickly, which in turn puts them in a spot to be used. Its not the men's fault that you put the "I will fuck you with no strings attached" vibe in their head, just to later turn around and say "I want more". Its mixed emotions and almost always its the women who do it. Instead of taking credit for their actions they blame men and try to make them look bad to take away from their own self pity.
Excellent take!
OMG, you don't have to be anonymous. <<<<<<<3
@Transigence I like to keep people guessing. ;)
Indeed, nobody likes a mixed message. Tell it to me straight, even if it's not what I wanted to hear. When a woman makes a claim, I hold her to it and expect her to prove it. It'd be as unfair to say men only want "one thing," as to say all women are pathological liars. To be fair, I tend to expose a lot of pathological liars.
@ObscuredBeyond exactly!
If they only wanted one thing, they wouldn't have lasted that long AND THEN broken it off
I'm not following. Explain.
It's like saying black lives matter. People often forget to include the word "too", because they're trying to avoid it
I don't give guys some 'notation', they STILL only me for one thing, and I STILL say guys only want one thing because it's true, when it comes to me. The fact that you made this stupid mytake shows what kind of person you are, blind af. Just because your relationships are successful without guys not trying to use you, doesn't mean it's like that for every girl. Let that stuck out of your ass and wake up and smell the coffee. Everyone isn't like you and just because they aren't doesn't mean they're doing anything wrong
As long as you're being used for sex, how about trying something different. But you're right, my eds in my ass.
Heads*
Ok screw the stupid head in your ass crap, that was stupid. My point was I'm just a shy person and kinda confident. I can't change being shy which sucks, wish I was more confident
Guys like shy girls, just use it in a way the benefits you. This post wasn't to bash people. And everyone has seemed to take it in the wrong direction. I really just meant that if nothing is working, try what I've been doing. It seems to work for a lot of women who have tried it. That's all. And if you can't find a guy that'll do these things for you, wait until you do. Don't settle for less than what you deserve.
That Makes lots sense. Thank you
This was fine until the "for the ladies" part, at which point I'm feel a strong sense of fuck-you.
I'm also feeling iffy about the "for everyone" part, so to be sure if my fuck-you feeling is right, let me ask you a couple things.
You put this idea down: Men spend their money on what's most important to them.
Then you also put this idea down: Before you go spending your hard earned money, make sure she's worthy of your money.
So first, what constitutes "worthy" in a girl? And second, when it comes to dates, especially first ones, are you saying the guy should be paying? - because those two stated ideas leave a whole lot of possibilities open.
That she just isn't there for your money. Make sure she's there to actually date and be there for you, but she appreciates you Doug things for her. At least see if she reciprocates by cooking you a meal, or cleaning up your room because she loves you. Find a woman who does have her own money, she just likes to be courted. First dates, guys should definitely pay. I'm not saying she can't pay at times too, because I do for my man when I want to reciprocate the love. Everything I'm talking about in this MyTake is just for the courting process, not your entire life. Because I buy my man gifts and pay for our lunches when we are out, and sometimes dinner, but it is mostly him. But mostly because I have a job and pay for my half of the bills also.
@Sdavis2604 I don't see how women deserve to be paid for, even for a first date. Seriously, how do you put yourself above men as the more valuable sex, deserving of a gesture of sacrifice merely for an opportunity to be graced by your eminence?
@Sdavis2604 I mean, seriously, that's like Whore Squared. At least a whore will agree to do something ahead of time, and negotiate a price up front.
But if we look at those two ideas again... Importance. Why am I "definitely" paying on a first date when that's probably the time when she's less important to me? Worthiness. How do I justify spending on a *first* date before she's done these "worthy" things? Not to mention, how are you measuring worthiness?
What? There's more to men than money and more to women than sex. "Know your worth" as you say.
Connecting intimately and genuinely is more than a guy doing a bunch of rituals to earn sexual access. Spending money doesn't necessarily equal closeness, caring and consideration or even interest, nor does having sex.
There's so much more to it.
*swoon *:o
Seriously, in our post industrial society, humans are free to feel sincere love and bonding more than ever before. Likewise, sex for mutual enjoyment and connection is worth soooo much more than "extra" money (i. e. beyond survival) which is what most of the western world is transacting with.
no. i want to be hugged. to lie besides a woman. to caress a woman's hair. to talk to her etc. i dont want just "that".
oh and you are not rewarding us with sex. we are rewarding you, or its mutual at least.
I don't feel it's a reward, I do it's something that should be earned though. Just like trust, love, respect, money, and all the other great things in life.
its more like the natural fruit of a loving relationship. its not exactly earned, saying that, still implies its a product to be purchased (no matter what the "currency" is). and you should admit your gifts and material exchange remarks in the take were out of place. many gaggers pointed that out to you. now if thats your opinion, well suit yourself.
No, she really means you need to earn it from her.