Guys, would you feel different about your girlfriend if she told you she got raped?

Would you feel differently about your girlfriend if she opened up to you that she got raped in the past/while dating you?
How would you feel?

(I only ask this because I have a friend who just got a boyfriend and they were discussing sex and how many previous partners she has had. She thought bringing up this topic would bring in trust and understanding, but the boyfriend said that she was a slut and probably deserved it…)
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Superb Opinion

  • I would feel different in somewhat good way. I would feel helpless that I was not able to do anything to help her. Is she kind of a person who likes to put her self in harms way often? I would try to empathize with her. And that's just one side of story. Boyfriend may have his own story of before. Which is not good wither. Even the cops are told to arrest a guy if woman complains. It's for later court to decide whether guy was at fault or not. The point is boyfriend should listen to her and empathize whether he believes her or not. The time will tell. He might be thinking the story us made up or whatever.

Most Helpful Guy

  • One of my exes told me she was raped once two years before she met me. I didn’t not look at her any differently. I immediately wanted to know who it was so I can find the guy and beat the living shit out of him (she wouldn’t tell me his name of course). But it actually deepened our relationship that she shared that vulnerability.

    But unfortunately she later became a radical feminist. She wasn’t like that when we dated. But she internalized all her self harm and teamed up with far leftist women. Shitty outcome

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I've had that with a girl who had it happen in her past. I just felt sorry for her and wanted to make her feel better. Mainly I just let her talk it out and asked little questions to keep her opening up and get all her feelings out.

  • Yes I would feel different... not because of the rape it self but because of the emotional damage and trauma. For guy to get involved with or stay involved with a women after you know she's been a victim of rape comes with some additional responsibilities, that you have appreciate and respect.

    I think any guy who wants to do the right thing by a the women, has to think this way.

  • One of my girl friends had been raped several year before I met her. She had been through counseling and had adjusted well. We always communicated while having sex whether oral or penetration. Fortunately she never had any flashbacks with me.

  • It would be a lot of compassion and caring.

    also I would know exactly what it took to say what she had.

    your friends ex boyfriend is just a piece of shit.

  • And that guy is probably a prick and I would hope that you would want to come see me well I was behind bars because I was fine that motherfuker probably castrate him I would hope I'd have a little bit more control but I would do some damage to it before I called the cops

  • My ex ex-wife told me that she was drugged and raped like 8 years into our relationship.
    All the sudden I understood why she had such a hot and cold attitude about sex and why she would cry during sex and try to do sexual stuff to me in my sleep.
    I didn't think any less of her, but being with her was confusing to be honest.
    She ended up cheating on me. She told me that "Hurt people will hurt people."
    She loved that she hurt me enough to want to mill myself.

    • *kill

    • I'm sorry...

    • @Yesdarlingmoon Thanks, luckily we have a beautiful baby boy and I couldn't kill myself. I love him too much.

  • Yeah I’d run. In my experience every woman that’s ever come right out and told me she’s been raped or molested did nothing but play games and jerk me around. I figured out they’re narcissists too and they do this to get attention and sympathy.

    • Sorry about your negative experience…. Seems like you tend to pick the wrong ones.

    • That’s because the right ones are always taken or not interested. lol

  • My ex-wife had been raped, and gave it no serious consideration. Turned out it was the cause of our divorce. Fact.

  • No, I wouldn't. If it still affected her I would suggest therapy.

  • Her boyfriend is an idiot... I hope she dumped him.

    Rape is a crime... the victim should not be chastised for it, and anyone who does needs to be educated.

  • I would probably get a hard-on, if she told me she had been raped! Sound bad, I know, but it would get me hot. I would be even hotter for her.

  • A girl I went out with a few times and she ended up opening up to me about this. I didn't think any less of her and it put me in an awkward position. But the more I thought of it, the more I realised that I only lusted after her, without actually wanting her. A good man will not hold it against her. I think that guy is an asshole.

  • I'd certainly feel sympathy for her and rage for the guy that raped her but, I'd still feel the same about her. No reason not to!!

  • If it were whilst we were together I'd be miffed she didn't tell me. If in the past it wouldn't bother me.

  • mean i would obviously be more mindfull around sex. but other than that. no.

  • Nope

  • My feelings for her wouldn't change but I would have a different understanding of her.

  • As in be more sympathetic then yes. Wouldn't change my love in a negative way

  • It's actually individual decision
    I actually want know character of the girl first
    Than only I can tell the opinion on it
    Sorry

    • What do you mean "character of the girl"? If she is a bad person you wouldn't care? Just curious.

    • Yes of course I don't care about her

  • wtf that's the most fucked up thing to say to somebody. the love of my life got raped and i was there supporting them when i found out about it. it happened when we were together and i didn't know it happened at the time. it's a complicated story but i was there supporting them regardless

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