Sexual Relationships
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How an Abstinent Girl Can Date a Non-Virgin Guy and Still Remain Abstinent

The title of this take should have been “How can an abstinent girl make her sexually active boyfriend become abstinent with her and still be happy in dating”. As you see 👀 this title is too long and very long titles are boring😪 to read and hard to figure out exactly what they are all about.

If you know me from GAG, you most definitely know that I am abstinent and single and want my future boyfriend to have had many hookups. A lot of times I have been asked how I am planning to make such relationship work as many guys (especially sexually active ones) demand sex from their girlfriends. People who I have met on social media told me that most dates without sex end either with him breaking up with her or cheating on her. I guess they say so because in their culture many girls offer sex to their boyfriends (ugh… those sluts. lol). This is why dating an abstinent girl IN THEIR CULTURE is no longer an option for guys unless the guy is religious or abstinent himself. I am not intimidated by women who offer sex before or after the first date nor by women who have sex while dating. However I have never met a guy who would be turned off by my chastity. In fact only on GAG I have come across guys to whom not having sex is a dealbreaker.😛

How an Abstinent Girl Can Date a Non-Virgin Guy and Still Remain Abstinent

I myself understand that it is harder for guys to sexually repress themselves. 😫 At least I don’t get blue balls or something, right?
Here are the tips of how I am going to make our date fun and interesting without him even realizing that sex is being missed.😎


1. My friendliness and charisma.

How an Abstinent Girl Can Date a Non-Virgin Guy and Still Remain Abstinent

In all seriousness I am very extroverted, chatty, funny and energetic. I can make friends with anyone even with anti social people. I know how to make them open up to me and show their extroverted side. I believe everyone is extroverted. Some people just don’t feel like showing that side of them until they find someone to be comfortable with.

How an Abstinent Girl Can Date a Non-Virgin Guy and Still Remain Abstinent

As long as he enjoys my company he will still be content with hanging with me. I am sure if your crush refuses to take you to another level and as a person he/she is not fun to talk to you will not stay in touch with them. A while ago I asked a question here on GAG “Would you still be friends with your crush if they refuse to date you”. Most guys answered “no” because going out with her when she refuses to be more than just friends is painful and a waste of time. In real life I have never met a guy to whom abstinence would be a turn off despite them being non virgin guys.

How an Abstinent Girl Can Date a Non-Virgin Guy and Still Remain Abstinent

By the way I don’t refuse to date my future boyfriend lol I refuse to have premarital sex with him. I am sure I can prove him that being with me with no sexual intimacy still feels good too.


2. My looks.
How an Abstinent Girl Can Date a Non-Virgin Guy and Still Remain Abstinent

I love buying clothes, shows, bags jewelry, make up items, etc. I am obsessed with beauty and anything concerning looks except for working out not because I am lazy but because I am confident with my weight and muscles. I weight 105-108 pounds (in the mornings) and still have big, firm and round breast and butt. As you guess with this weight of mine I couldn’t have cellulite or belly fat.

This may sound rudely hypocritical but my boyfriend should be athletic and spend some hrs a day at the gym. A guy who doesn’t work out can’t be as hot as girl who doesn’t work out. Muscles and height make a man’s body attractive while slimness and curves makes a woman’s one attractive. Correct me if I am wrong!

How an Abstinent Girl Can Date a Non-Virgin Guy and Still Remain Abstinent

If working out will make my body even sexier I will start hitting the gym but for now I don’t feel the need of looking more attractive.

No one can deny that looks are very significant to men and if he finds me the hottest chick that has ever lived on our planet then chances that he won’t leave this hottie is too high. As high as Mt. Everest. So he can easily deal with my abstinence for the sake of someday (on the wedding night) fulfilling his ultimate sexual desire he possesses for me. I asked a question which woman is more desirable for sex. And most guys chose a 9/10 looking girl with no experience over a 6/10 looking one with great bedroom skills. They said looks arouse them more easily than her sexual skills as sexual skills can be noticed after his dick is hard while looks are the ones that get the man hard.💪🍆

How an Abstinent Girl Can Date a Non-Virgin Guy and Still Remain Abstinent

You can share your opinion on this too. But only guys lol as I know experienced, average, or low looking girl will definitely say a woman’s experience is more important than her looks. We all know why they would say this. 😲😂


3. The combination of my purity 🌹🍒🌸 and naughtiness 👅🍌🍼

How an Abstinent Girl Can Date a Non-Virgin Guy and Still Remain Abstinent

Won’t my naughtiness and innocent transform me from a girl pure in the body and naughty in the mind into a lady in the street and a freak in the sheets when we get married? 👰
I know some guys are even turned off by virginity/abstinence/purity but they may like innocence if it is combined with naughtiness As I am going to stay abstinent it will be inevitable for me to hide my unfulfilled sexual urges and not to show my kinky/dirty side. It is also very necessary to talk about out sexual fantasies and preferences as communication is the best key to a successful sexual relationship. Don’t I sound like a FUTURE lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets? 😜

How an Abstinent Girl Can Date a Non-Virgin Guy and Still Remain Abstinent

In spite of the fact that I am abstinent most guys who ask me for date know this very well (I tell them even if they don’t know this) and still my abstinence hasn’t been a problem for them to want to date me. They still chase me because I am seen as a wife material. I do reject them but inside I am very proud of being seen as a more than just a sex object. Them seeing me as a wife means I am more than just a hot body to bang. This certainly comes from my self respectable and classy attitude.

How an Abstinent Girl Can Date a Non-Virgin Guy and Still Remain Abstinent

Then again if my saving myself for marriage is a turn off for a guy then I don’t see him as my potential boyfriend or husband because guys like him turn me off. To me a confident, dominant and possessive men value being their beloved woman’s first man therefore they value female virginity no matter if they themselves have slept around or not.

How an Abstinent Girl Can Date a Non-Virgin Guy and Still Remain Abstinent

And if I am too good for him to leave me then he should “obey” me no matter what are my demands regarding dating.

How an Abstinent Girl Can Date a Non-Virgin Guy and Still Remain Abstinent

Thanks for reading 💋

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I get it, you want a man who can pleasure you sexually, but it's not all about yourself in a relationship while denying him what he wants in his, and trying to change him because you're somehow "worth it." You say that, within your first paragraph, you want to make a sexually active guy be abstinent with you. That's highly unrealistic and very controlling, and then you go on to say that you're going to discuss how sex would be with him in the future? To do what? Make him more excited for it and to try and remain loyal to you? That's a form of tease and denial, you seem to want a man that you can keep sexually frustrated that you can control easily. You don't sound like anything but somebody who is intentionally making it harder for somebody like myself, for example, to find it worth waiting for. Plus, if you're looking for men who are experienced sexually, and marriage doesn't come for many years later, then he's not really going to have the same skills by the time you're ready to lose your virginity.

    I don't really understand why all these women are torturing themselves with loneliness instead of just getting over themselves and their ideals. You clearly think very highly of yourself if you expect your future boyfriend to be athletic and muscular while you are not fit yourself. I meet a lot of women with very high standards, who are basically 6/10 with makeup, trying to date Calvin Klein underwear models. Good luck with that.

    The only way this will work for you, is if you keep the relationship open and allow him to pursue other women for sexual release, otherwise don't be surprised if you're cheated on. No matter how hot you might be, no guy who isn't still a virgin at around your age is going to wait. Sorry. They're just not going to put up with it.

    • I get it, you want a man who can pleasure you sexually" How is he going to please me when I am abstinent? Lol "That's highly unrealistic and very controlling, and then you go on to say that you're going to discuss how sex would be with him in the future?" So you think I want him to become abstinent for the sake of controlling him? "That's a form of tease and denial, you seem to want a man that you can keep sexually frustrated that you can control easily". I don't want to torture him. I am not a player. "You don't sound like anything but somebody who is intentionally making it harder for somebody like myself, for example, to find it worth waiting for." That is okay. I don't want other men to want me. I only care about his choice. "Plus, if you're looking for men who are experienced sexually, and marriage doesn't come for many years later, then he's not really going to have the same skills by the time you're ready to lose your virginity". Haha so he will forget how to fuck?

    • "I don't really understand why all these women are torturing themselves with loneliness instead of just getting over themselves and their ideals." I want to make sex special. I do this for the sake of having a happy marriage. People who wait flr marriage are more likely to have hapoy marriages. "You clearly think very highly of yourself if you expect your future boyfriend to be athletic and muscular while you are not fit yourself". Being fit for a girl is not as hard as it is for men. I don't have to be muscular like him. Not to mention that most atheltic guys I have met liked my body and even said I don't need to work out.

    • Also, if he's having sex with other women while letting her remain abstinent, he's not going to be able to connect with her emotionally.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Most crazy, delusional, sickening and sexist crap I've ever read. Who the hell are you to judge women for having sex with their boyfriends when you don't judge men for having sex with random chicks. Your mind is filled with disgusting things. Go away.

    • Lol so you are butthurt because I said some women sleep with their bfs? If I didn't say that i am sure you wouldn't be this spiteful.

    • No dear, being spiteful has nothing to do with my reply. Also, I'm not butthurt since there's nothing to be butthurt about. I just think it's disgusting of you to call women sluts for having sex, but you give a free pass to men. Real, normal women have equal sexual urges as men. what I mean by real and normal is women that have allowed themselves to not let society dictate how women are supposed to feel about sex. If society shames women and congratulates men, of course men with embrace their sex drive while women repress it. This type of programming will even have effects on scientific studies that have claimed that men think of sex more than women. I don't allow myself to be programmed by society. I am very in touch with myself in every way. You are painting an unrealistic idea of how men and women are in their natural states. What society has programmed us to believe about the natural functions of men and women is totally unnatural.

    • Listen you are indeed spiteful and butthurt. And fuck whoever you want. I don't want to be like you.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • In my experience, guys get more turned on and interested in me after I tell them I won't sleep with them because I'm a virgin. This may just be an initial interest that would wear off if I dated any of them, but I haven't, so I wouldn't know

    You may have a problem finding a guy willing to wait for you if he has had a lot of hookups in the past because that means he has easier options and will have a much higher likelihood of cheating on you. I myself wouldn't mind a guy having a few notches under his belt, I wouldn't want them to be ONSs. They'd only be OK if he'd been in a relationship with the girls because I want someone who doesn't view women as sexual objects

    I agree you have to make it worth it to him when you do finally get to that point. If he knows it will be worth it, then he will be willing to wait. But if it turns out not to be worth it with someone who has had better, that might be a tricky situation to deal with

  • You're definitely a virgin because the fact that you think tease like behavior is going to temper a man's lust is just ass-backwards. I really respect women who set goals for themselves and stick to their guns but the fact that you think that your friendliness, good taste in fashion, and "naughty purity" will make anyone forget about their sexual desire makes absolutely no sense. You might meet a good guy who is willing to wait for you, but you can't just walk up to anyone and convince them that they want all the same things as you. You're either completely oblivious or a master manipulator.

    • Thanks for believing that I am a virgin. I hate when people doubt it. All the guys who chase me said they would wait for me

    • I believe you are a virgin because your views on sexuality are very naive. Like I said above, you might find a few guys who truly love you and who are willing to wait (which is harder than you think when they can choose from dozens of other beautiful, charismatic, adoring girls, who want to satisfy them sexually). I also feel the need to point out that men will say just about anything to get sex. There is no way that these hoards of men that you keep saying flock to you are filled w/ saintly men who are willing to wait, no questions asked, however long it takes you to decide to settle down. Even genuine men who really do fall for you will try to persuade you for sex, whenever the opportunity arises. Because you haven't had sex you don't understand how strong the desire really is. The behavior you said you would resort to would only serve drive that poor man insane.

    • @asdsfgag You also sound extremely high maintenance and very self-consumed. Men will pick up on your attitude and tell you whatever you want to hear, you need to understand that just because a man says something to you doesn't mean he actually means it, especially if he's only trying to get laid (which with girls with attitudes like yours is more likely than not). These decent, wholesome, respectful, intelligent men you keep saying you'll someday settle down with don't typically care for girls like you because they know that they will barely more than your slave. This entire MyTake was a continuous list of how special you think you are, how well you think any man you decide to grace w/ your attention should treat you, and how you intend to make some poor guy miserable through sexually teasing and depriving him. No guy in his right mind would willingly put himself in that position. It's 1 thing to meet a good guy and stick to your guns, it's another to act like gods gift to the earth..

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  • Nice my take and I encourage waiting till marriage but it sounds like a lot of that was he should and would. Or it was hypethetical. Waiting for marriage is a two person job. Don't put it all on the guy having to subdue his sexual side for you. A couple dating and waiting has to both be sure to not let things happen and your teasing him of things to come might just drive him crazy making him leave.

  • This reeks of sexism and condescending attitudes.

    However, good luck with that.

    If you're really going to never be sexual with him, it can take a toll on the relationship. If you're planning to do handies and blowjobs, then I wouldn't consider you a virgin. You gave in just as those "sluts" as you call us, just that your pussy is intact but the rest of your body isn't. You're not innocent.
    I don't care if you are or aren't, but I don't consider those who willfully give their genitals or have sexual contact virgins. Otherwise lesbians and gay men are virgins because there's no coitus? No. That's silly.

    • I never said anything about bjs. Bj is still a type of sex. And I exclude it while dating. And what is sexist in my take?

    • I didn't say you mentioned it, I'm just saying because there's all these "pussy" virgins who will do everything to keep the pussy intact, yet have no qualms giving bjs or getting fingered. That's not a virgin to me lol I said IF you plan to be a pussy virgin, I personally don't consider them real virgins.

    • I agree. I think virgins should be UN touched

  • fine be nice attractive and dont have sex. none of that will help his sexual frustration. it still boils down to he's ok waiting or he's not. none of what you wrote will tame anyone. you'll either meet a guy ok with it or he's not.

    most guys who wait still hope for hjs or blow jobs. of course he's capable of waiting, anyone is. but he may not want to. and no amount of hotness will keep him if sex is something important to him. if anything itd make abstaining more difficult.

    and of course you have fat at 105 or 108 pounds. women store fat unless they are starving. if you had no fat it would hurt to sit and your bones would stick out.

    • im a virgin by the way, and have no intention of having sex before im ready. im not saying this bc im being defensive bc i feel threatened by your virginity, and im not saying you should have sex before you're ready. nor am i saying NO guy will wait. im just saying many will not and being hot and nice is not going to change that. just like HIM being hot and nice won't change YOU.

    • you did nit say you'll jerk him off. this will change my answer. a bit. if he really likes you and knows you'll eventually have sex and meanwhile you jerk him off, its possible. can i ask, why do you want him to have had many hookups-before you i mean? i also thought about letting him have sex with other people while we are together, but ultimately decided itd be too weird.

    • You guys think I am going to force him to remain abstinent or stay with me? He can leave me. I won't stop him.

  • Why are you snagging off girls who sleep around, but not guys who sleep around. I mean without the girls the guys will be Virgins or gay...

    ... I smell a hypocrite

    • They can sleep with whoever they want. I avoid such women.

    • And such women avoid you @asdfgag Since when do you think that any women care about what you think of other women. You are powerless and you're trying to hang on to a pipe-dream until it all blows up in your face.

  • Wow. Ok, well you do whatever works.

    • Lol!

  • I appreciate that you are abstinent.
    Elsewhere you said, "I think sex is for marriage" and I agree.
    That was the course my wife and I took.

    But why would you want a "future boyfriend to have had many hookups"?
    I mean... if purity is good for you why isn't it good for him?
    This seems contradictory at the very least.
    Wouldn't you want to give yourself to a morally upstanding virgin man rather than a man who is OK with hookups?

    Elsewhere you say, "I am obsessed with beauty and anything concerning looks."
    Might I suggest that you may be placing too much importance on outward appearances and not enough on the inner person. Or in the words of Jesus in Luke 11:40, "did not He who made the outside make the inside also?"

    While I think virginity is important, there is more to moral purity than just virginity. There's loving your neighbor as yourself and doing justice, loving mercy, and walking humbly with your God. (See Leviticus 19 and Micah 6)

    Anyway, I hope you find good success on your life's journey.
    God bless you.

  • If you want to keep your innocence shouldn't you not date? since one lead might lead to sex. So why are you dating now when your not ready to get marry? and your not having sex so I don't see why you doing this to yourself or to these guys.

    • I think I have said "my FUTURE bf" for several times. I am single.

    • You made it sound like you were dating in the mytake thou.

  • jesus christ these pictures are all extremely bullshit

  • I just don't think abstaining actually achieves anything... So I couldn't date someone whose morality makes no sense to me.

    • I could never date a guys to whom my morality made mo sense

    • Guy*

    • I would date a virgin though, given she would want sex eventually (before marriage, seeing as I don't ever want to get married) but she'll have to understand I will be having sex with other girls. This doesn't sound like it would ever actually happen, and I want something far from that. I want a slut who will be fucking other guys while I am dating her and I will be fucking other girls. And we will grow old together and both have our separate play mates. Weird I know ;) But it is the best way. Society has just lost track of that due to religion and sexism.

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  • I hope this is not like 'anal' and BJ won't count as loosing virginity.

    This is really really impossible. You are out of your mind. You are wishing for a unicorn. You can't substitute sex for an extended period for a guy. Only one in 5 guys can keep their path of a no sex life (data from ancient monk order). Most of those lived like prisoners and don't talk to people.

    The guy will cheat. Any decently looking girl can tempt him in a heart beat.

    • Explain to me why so many guys are after me when even when I reject them

    • Oh they want to get into your pants? Or maybe they will be okay with simple blow jobs. Probably settle for anal. I would. w

    • Only after marriage

  • Easier said than done
    Doesn't always work like that

    • It will work in my case

  • All of this is very interesting, but in most situations, a man must be validated by sexuality if a relationship is going to last. This doesn't mean the first week (or several) or mean intercourse. But sooner or later, if he doesn't cum, he will go or find someone extra to help him along. It is in his DNA. She can be Audrey Hepburn ("For the world") but sooner or later she will have to at least have "the solution" in hand.

    • He can cum from masturbation. You knew it?

    • But that doesn't validate the relationship or him.

    • Maybe it does

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  • Thats not gunna happen. Any guy been with girl who has double digit bodys is far better at sex. My current girlfriend was a virgin before but emotional connection strongest i had and makes it best I've had. No guy besides insecure virgins with small dicks that fear they can't plessure woman will want you. this is very controlling to do to someone. The fact you obsessed with how you look, jewlery, shopping, and materialism shows your shallow so beleiving being trapped together in mariage makes sex "purer" isn't supprising. No girl who waits till marriage is naughty or whatever once married they get sore and can't fuck long or multiple times a day.

  • Its cool to be a virgin thats nice, but you're asking for way too many things of your future boyfriend, and you won't find all of that in one person, a fuck boy who's hot, ripped and never cheats despite not getting sex for few years before marriage? and he has to have this and that , iam sorry you may be hot but no what you're offering sounds more like a prison than a relationship.

    • It is not too many things. He can still masturbate.

    • Sex is better than masturbation any day

    • @19magic doesn't mean masturbation is bad

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  • or: "How a girl can cow a guy she's not compatible with into compromising what is important to him without any giving up anything (quite literally) on her end"

    • You make it sound as if he will die if he doesn't have sex. Lol

    • You make it sound as if you will die if you do.

    • I am not going to ruin my views on marriage for the sake of satisfying his animalish urges

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  • If you're a virgin, and want to stay a virgin, date a virgin.

  • Good luck with that. You really think you can con some pathetic loser into giving up regular sex to wait for your delusional (ie - no guys gives a shit about virginity) ideals?

    • amen, why would a guy wanna put up with this

    • No one forces anyone to be with me. If he doesn't agree with my abstinence then he can leave me immediately. No big deal.

    • Pathetic loser giving up regular sex. Lol so sexually active guys are pathetic losers?

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  • He is a man. He has needs that are driven by powerful hormones, as well as the way that his brain has been wired.
    The simple reality is that, if you do not provide the sexual release that he needs, he will be driven to seek that sexual release elsewhere.
    A compromise would be for you to keep is balls drained by masturbating him, or going down on him, at every opportunity.
    That way you would remain chaste, but he would look forward to seeing you because he would know that you were going to drain his balls.

    • You see, this girl has a major delusional disorder. She thinks she's so damn attractive that men will allow their balls to reach exploding point just to be in her presence. She has sever special snowflake syndrome. What girl would post all these dramatic memes to try and express how special she thinks she is? I think she needs medication or maybe a stiff cock or two to set her head straight LMFAO!

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