How bad does it make me for hooking up with a guy I just met after only 5 days of finding out I was being cheated on? Am I hitting the rock bottom?
The hotel host was the only one who spoke English and he is also a nice guy, so I chatted with him a bit 2-3 times, he invites me out, I was so hesitant, but I was literally dying and it was my birthday, I didn't tell him, and I said to myself that it would be just a casual evening, maybe I could feel better, we went out, he was a gentleman, he just treated me so fine, we grapped a bite, and then went to a nice bar, I told him I don't drink, he said I could try if I want, and I was willing, like I wanted anything to numb my pain, He picks raki - which is the Turkish equivalent to Vodka 44% alcohol, he split a 350 mls between us, I didn't know my limits, I was feeling warm and my sight was a little bit fuzzy, but I didn't know that when I stand up, it will fucking hit, he grabs me to dance, I tried to say no, but he picked me up and I didn't know I was wasted until that moment, I was dizzy he grabs my waist and hugs me close, he wasn't trying to do anything I didn't want, it got late, we had to go, so, I couldn't walk that he literally was holding my waist the whole time, and that emotional turbine comes out of nowhere, I cried and laughed and he was just trying to calm me down, I told him to kiss me and he didn't let me complete the word, he made out with me hard in the middle of the road, he stopped a taxi and I literally slept in his arms for the whole ride, he took me to the room and asked if he could stay, I was so numb to ever mind , It was as far as giving him a blowjob, it was just me so desperate for feel anything, I woke up with a headache and feeling that I'm a shitty person just like my future ex-husband, I hate myself for it and I can't get around how I went so far, do I need therapy? or am I just hitting rock bottom?
Most Helpful Guys