Sexual Relationships
+1 y

I can’t orgasm. What do I do to fix this?

Updates:
+1 y
I stopped having sex for several years because what’s the point. I got sick of explaining it’s not you it’s me when having sex and lost the pleasure in it. I can’t when doing it myself or with someone else. As I start to feel it could potentially move that way I freak out and don’t feel good. I start to feel like light headed and my brain stops it. Like it doesn’t want to go there. It’s not a good feeling when I start to feel light headed so I want it all to stop. I faked 100s of times.
0 0

Superb Opinion

  • i can only think of a few reasons why.
    1. i think that u you're too stressed out and tensed when having sex or masturbating.
    try not to focus too much on your end goal of orgasm but simply be in the moment and enjoy each sensation as it comes. focusing and worrying too much about whether or not you'll orgasm takes your focus away from what is happening and takes you out of the right headspace to truly experience sex and masturbation.
    2. you're not giving yourself enough time to explore your own body. pick a day and place where you can explore your body undisturbed. set a romantic atmosphere, put on some sexy clothing, read some erotica or turn on some porn. try masturbating in different positions - if you usually sit down, try laying down. if you're used to masturbating while laying down, try standing up etc. instead of doing the same things over and over again, try other forms of stimulation. girls are capable of nipple orgasms, clitoral orgasms, vaginal orgasms and cervical orgasms. don't rush into it. take your time to caress your body, focus on your breathing; breathe in deeply and exhale through your mouth. in your free time, train your PC muscles by doing kegals - apparently they do wonders. I've been training my PC muscles for awhile now and i've experienced much better orgasms.
    3. you're not doing enough. have you tried different ways of self-pleasuring? girls have countless ways to masturbate and you're not confined to just your fingers. you can try using the showerhead to stimulate your clit, humping/grinding your bolsters, or even venturing into the world of sex toys. let me tell you one thing: sex toys are amazing! like really... sex toys have totally changed my sex life and masturbation routine and it brings pleasure to a whole new level. sex toys are made solely for pleasure and they have all sorts of technology embedded in them to unleash your greatest sex potential.
    my sex toys bring me to orgasm very quickly and they give me some of the greatest orgasms - even comparable to sex. there are so many sex toy offerings on the market and some even claim to guarantee orgasms. hearing from girls that also have trouble orgasming, they used clit suction toys such as the satisfyer pro and they finally experienced their first orgasm!
    4. if you're having trouble cumming during sex, most likely it's because the guy isn't experienced enough and doesn't last long enough in bed. trust me, with the right guy with the right moves, he's going to rock your world. try incoporating sex toys in bed, for example, using a vibrator on your clit while he penetrates you or have him eat you out while you rub your clit. just another suggestion, try exploring your kinks - try out some roleplaying in bed, put on costumes, set the mood with dirty talk and most importantly, have fun! don't forget to control your breathing - experts say they help you orgasm better! feel free to reach out if you have more questions.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Call me the orgasm Whisperer LOL just kidding I had to say it. But I'm not kidding about calling me for sending me a message there's are a few things that you should try and I think after you try them you will have success

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Not enough information to offer valid feedback.

    Unless you are looking instructions on how to do it you need to offer a bit more.

    Is this a new thing?
    If yes what happened around the time of your last to now.

    • No it’s not new. At 30 I have never even after years of sex and with multiple people. The only thing I can do is fake an excellent orgasm and that just made me sad so I stopped having sex.

    • The extra info will help you get better answers. Thank you for sharing it. I guess my main question is whether or not there is even any desire there at all. Also whether you can remember ever having one. Clearly partners aren't working out for you and it's adding even more stress to the situation as your always having to explain or pretend. So if there is a desire for that release I think solo is best. Take note of any times that you do feel aroused if at all. That can help guide you in discovering some drive. Try just exploring yourself a bit while watching movies or something. Don't focus on getting to the end just enjoy little bits as you go. You've got too much pressure on it now. Need to not worry about the destination at all and try to enjoy what you can of the journey. The last thing I'd like you to think through is whether or not there are unresolved bad experiences with sex. If there is a memory that is buried of something negative associated with sex it could also explain why you have such a strong negative reaction when getting close. If this is something you desire I hope you find it.

  • I think you should consult a sex therapist.

  • Is this never ever or it suddenly come on?

    at 30-35 I would have thought you would have had one or two by now.

    have you ever had a check up at doctors to see about it?

    • I am 30. I have never. I faked it for years and years, it was exhausting to have to do that. So I stopped having sex because I couldn’t be bothered doing that anymore.

    • Can you or have you ever managed an orgasm on your own, via masturbation?

    • It’s exactly the same thing that happens when with someone. In fact i find it better with someone because I’m more turned on.

    • Show All

  • Nobody can help u with such vague info

    • Maybe its somthing medical then probobly should get it looked at

    • Is it normal to feel light headed

    • I'm not a women lol

    • Show All

  • I know its a creepy sounding question, but what have you tried?

    • The three routes to orgasm are the clitoris, g-spot and vaginal opening. You can play all three with hand masturbation. Do you get no sensation this way?

    • I tried for 10 years with multiple people. So the problem is probably me.

    • Whether or not you have an orgasm, do you feel sexual arousal? My best "outcomes" have been with cunnilingus. Does it do anything for you?

    • Show All

  • Do you have a jar of peanut butter and a German Shepherd?

  • what did you do

  • I think a therapist might be able to help you with this.

  • use the Dragon

  • Were you ever able to do so?

  • Let me give it a try..

  • Learn to relax

  • Buy a vibrator you like and that should help :)

  • That's not all that uncommon. You shouldn't feel you need to fix anything. You aren't broken. I do understand your desire to experience orgasms though.

  • Practice by yourself. You can't expect a partner to get you off if you can't do it yourself.

  • foreplay, more of it

  • Don't focus in that

  • what things you tried for achieve?

  • Play with your clit while using a vibrator

  • do you ever lactate a little bit?

  • Show More (2)

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