Sexual Relationships
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I Don't Buy 'Made to Penetrate'

This is going to be a controversial mytake and I'm going to be siding with the feminists for once, so better get things cleared up.

I Don't Buy 'Made to Penetrate'

There is something strangely erotic yet sinister about this image

Sure, there is such a thing as made to penetrate - it's entirely conceivable that under exceptional circumstances a man can be drugged up, tied up and forced into erection mode with viagra by some erratically kinky dominatrix he wants nothing to do with. But what we have to ask ourselves is, is this reality a regular phenomena?

I Don't Buy 'Made to Penetrate'

40% of rapists are women now? Better beware the rohl hypnol brandishing gangs of ovulating femdoms outdoors now, gents. Seriously, what percentage of these rape allegations by men against women were proven true?

I'm sorry but as a man, I just don't buy it.

Women are less physically strong and less aggressive.

Women are much harder to become sexually aroused and therefore less incentivised to initiate something like rape even if they could.

Women cannot get a man hard if he does not want to do it.

Women don't carry around date rape kits of viagra, rohl hypnol and handcuffs as far as I'm aware.

I Don't Buy 'Made to Penetrate'

Let's be honest now, while this would not be a realistic case of female on male rape (the woman would probably be a lot less desirable, as attractive as a life sized barbie doll is), it wouldn't be most guys worst nightmare, either.

So what does circulating this myth do?

1. It marginalises actual rape of women by men

2. It marginalises actual rape of men by men, e.g. in prison cells.

I can't stress how big of a problem both these things are. Women are much more easily raped by men than vice versa and is demoralising when it happens. Prison rape is a truly horrendous ordeal for a man and is no laughing matter. But prison rape is joked about by comedians all the time and the western countries do very little to remedy a very real problem - e.g. extra shower cubicles, private single rooms, more cctv surveillance of inmates AND guards etc.

I Don't Buy 'Made to Penetrate'

In short, if MRAs want to put emphasis on the fact that men can be victims of rape and sexual assault, they should focus on cases of rape where the man is the initiator, specifically in prisons where the majority of male on male cases happen.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I was abducted, held for 3 days, and repeatedly raped by 3 women. I will tell you that a hard on is a biological response to stimuli, and is even corpse is capable of one, also it is a common response to fear to get a stiffy. I can also refer you to a case where a guy was PASSED OUT and a college girl went to his dorm, and gave him a BJ, then reported HIM for sexual assault and he was kicked out of the college for it (nothing happened to her). I can refer you to a case where a girl forced herself on a man, admitted it to his parents got pregnant and he is still forced to pay child support to his rapists.

    Just because the average man is stronger then the average woman doesn't mean that every woman is weaker then every man. Also the first reported sado-sexual killer was a woman (Elizabeth Bathory) who had hundreds of victims. You also did not take into account an armed woman vs an unarmed man. I could go on...

    Prison rape, prison rape as many people understand it is by and large a myth, and it's usually guards victimizing inmates not inmates victimizing each other. This is due to a number of factors, but one of the big one is the simple lack of tolerance between inmates of rapists, including prison rapists. And in many cases of prison sexual assault it's female guards who are the assailants. Further PRIA has been law now for almost 5 years, which is a set of laws expressly to combat prison rape, where a persons gender identity may help classify which facility they go to (yes under PRIA a biological man who identifies as a woman could end up in a woman's prison) .

    My situation, I spent the time in handcuffs, I was threatened with sharp objects if I didn't co=operate (including erections). And I carry restraint scars, and scars on my back from a household iron 33 years later from my ordeal.

    I will tell you that woman can and do rape men.

    • well that is a very horrible ordeal to go through. but more than anything it is the 40% rape statistics I am sceptical of. I concede that made to penetrate can occur in very exceptional circumstances (e. g. if the woman has the man drugged up, etc.)

      edition.cnn.com/.../

      you say fear can cause an erection but I don't see how somebody threatening me with an iron could force me into erection mode at all (even if I wanted to in order to alleviate the fear). but then I have not experienced this first hand so I will say no more.

      that elizabeth bathory's victims were all women.

      some women are stronger than men, but I don't see that enough women could overpower men AND force him into erection mode to justify the 40% statistic.

    • The statistic is in question, as they only sampled for the last year. As for the iron, it wasn't to get me hard it was to "educate me about the iron as a tool to demean and subjugate women" this lesson was while I was tied down and a shirt was ironed on my shoulders. For what it's worth fear is a strong motivator, usually they just threatened to castrate me (if you can't get it up, then I don't see a need for these anymore) And yes it worked.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't buy the 40% stat but do you honestly believe a man cannot be made to penetrate against his will? It is 100% possible to be physically aroused but not want it emotionally/morally/etc. Your opinion on this matter is one of the reasons it's so hard for male victims to come forward.

    By the way, contrary to your suggestion at the start of this my take, the opinions expressed are NOT generally espoused by feminists...

    • A man who gets physically aroused but not want it emotionally/morally/etc and penetrates despite not wanting it lacks self control. Do MRAs want to accuse women for men lacking self control?

    • I think a man can be made to penetrate under his will but only under very specific circumstances. for example this anpu23 guy is talking about such a rare (and horrific) case where he was handcuffed to a bed and held prisoner for 3 days. how many male on female rapes do you think are so well organised? no, most times a man rapes a woman it is very informal - he picks someone up kerb krawling or rapes someone in a back alley. for a woman to rape a man all kinds of other circumstances must take place, it seems.

    • I've heard of guys who woke up after a night of heavy drinking to fine a woman riding them that they'd previously turned down. Is it so hard to believe this stuff happens? I don't think it's as common as me on female rape, or even male on male, but it does happen and we need to create an environment in which males are comfortable coming forward and talking about what has happened to them.

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What Girls & Guys Said

9 19

  • Read the MHO for this opinion:
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1361744-guys-what-would-you-do-if-a-girl-tried-to-rape-you
    It contains a first hand account of a man being raped by women.

    • I responded to this my take as well, thank you for pointing him my direction.

    • @Anpu23 You're welcome. After reading your account the first time, I feel obligated to respond whenever I see content such as is in this myTake.

    • Thank you again

  • Amy schumer admitted to raping a guy who was blacked out drunk (she didn't use the term rape but thats what it was). In many cases the men where threatened by the woman stating that she would accuse him of raping her if he did not comply (which as your take pretty much makes clear she would be the one to believe not him) and in many many cases the man stated that he did not wish to hurt her because of him being physically stronger and the constant social conditioning and stigma of a man harming a woman. The fact is you completely ignore the emotional and social manipulation that goes into the rape of men, we are conditioned never to believe we can be harmed by a woman (neotenous biological traits as well as social conditiong) and that we can never harm a woman (again neotenous biological traits and social conditoning) which is what causes many of the rapes. You also ignored the several rapes by gun point which have occured: www.dailymail.co.uk/.../...steal-South-Africa.html
    www.huffingtonpost.com/.../...g-man_n_3882608.html
    www.cosmopolitan.com/.../
    www.dailymail.co.uk/.../...-mothers-apartment.html
    Its actually kind of funny how in society we claim men and women are equal yet refuse to believe women are capable of doing any wrong doing and men the only ones. Not very equal view if you ask me and also very much informed by our society which constantly pushes the idea that women are victims and men perpetrators thus ignoring male victims and female victimizers in order to maintain the socially more acceptable idea that men are evil and women perfect.

    • do you have the link about Amy Schumer raping a guy?

    • @Bandit74 thoughtcatalog.com/.../
      She was telling a story about her college days at some event and she stated she had sex with a guy who was blacked out drunk and did not give consent (according to her the guy didn't even seem to realize she was their) which is by definition rape (not unlike a date rape or using a drug to rape a girl. If the genders where reversed it would be unacceptable). So far as I can tell no legitamet news report has mentioned it its only when you actually here her story that you realize that she is describing a rape.

    • I agree, if it were a male celebrity who told that story things would be completely different.

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  • I don't think you're really siding with the feminists here, dude.

    • well then you'd be wrong. feminism - it's etymological roots in 'femina', woman - is based on the principle that women are the subjugated gender in society, therefore in the interests of equality the rights of women need to be defended. if women were equally subjugated as men (e. g. if the 40% statistic were true) then it would be necessary for feminists to be equalitarians, not feminists. it is in the interests of feminists that I claim the vast majority of rape victims are women, because I am a reasonable person.

  • "Made to penetrate", in my understanding, implies with use of drugs, like poisoning his food with Viagra and then blackmailing him. And yeah, prison rape is something that should never taken lightly. Especially if guards commit the rape. Laughing at a man for becoming Bubba food when all he is in for is being financially unable to pay a traffic ticket punctually? I consider that hypocritical of society. It's no wonder then, that so many of them become bitter, and are worse fits for society coming out than what they were going in.

    • '"Made to penetrate", in my understanding, implies with use of drugs, like poisoning his food with Viagra and then blackmailing him. '

      A lot of guys just seem to be talking about when they were in bed and she took advantage of the fact he was aroused or something. Even with viagra, my understanding is that this is not enough to force an erection.

      For example on some of these, the guys do not even mention being drugged, etc.:

      thoughtcatalog.com/.../

      'yeah, prison rape is something that should never taken lightly. Especially if guards commit the rape.'

      Yeah, this is where I think the focus needs to be for male victims of rape (victims of male on male rape).

    • I was thinking more along the lines of sexual assault, where she poisons him to make him erect, grabs him, and lays on the pressure. In other words, coercion. Maybe not the same as rape, but still a bad thing. Especially if it's a teacher and a teen student being coerced by her. Though, I would think poisoning a man's food with erection drugs intentionally would constitute some sort of charge in and of itself.

    • It's possible I guess. I just have a hard time swallowing my own scepticism because of how well co-ordinated and thought out a genuine rape of male by female would have to be.

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  • This isn't a subject I'm heavily vested in, but I was under the impression that when men are raped they're the ones being penetrated, anally of course.

    • there was a study by the CDC where they asked the question if anyone has ever made them penetrate another. It opened up a hole can of worms. Traditional rape is defined as penetration, so this created a new category.

  • The essence here is much simpler: Don't get your facts from memes and infographics!

  • I must admit this is quite a new concept to me for a long time I was under the illusion that the furore about male rape was about anal rape not the "made to penetrate" rape. I suppose it comes down to your belief about biological response, if you believe a physically aroused woman can be raped then you must believe a physically aroused male can be raped. I have a feeling I read somewhere that during extreme terror an erection can occur (that is just something in the back of my mind, I have no proof).
    Genericising these types of assaults into groups and victims classes takes away from the terrible nature of the crime. Let each person feel comfortable enough to report the incident and let the authorities investigate each case separately away from any bias in society.

  • Damn, who stole my barbie doll? :P

    • umm what were you planning to do with it?

    • Nothing, LoL :P

    • suuure.

  • 49.media.tumblr.com/.../...ijH1qS1swnnb6o1_250.gif
    If you have a genital, male or female, you can be raped.

    • preach... But I didn't like the gif though lol

    • @IceEverest jk bro.

  • I have no idea whether it happens a lot. However, I do know of cases (first hand in my work) where a disable man has been overpowered by a woman and made to penetrate, although that is a strange way of phrasing it to my mind. He wasn't able to push her off and an erection is an involuntary reflex. I think this is, and should be, classed as rape. Men would have a hard time reporting because of feeling emasculated and because of this idea all men want sex all the time and they should be grateful.

    • but for him to be erect, surely he needed to be aroused? 'Men would have a hard time reporting because of feeling emasculated' I get that.

    • Being aroused isn't the same as wanting to have sex. I can be aroused but still say no and that doesn't give someone the rigt to force me. If a woman says no it is still considered rape even if she climaxes during the attack,

    • I get that, but majority of the time you are not going to be aroused by your attacker because that's not really the way probability works. And the small number of cases where you would be it doesn't explain the '40% of rapists are women' statistic.

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  • @the_rake
    I have a very sound mind. :D :D :D

    • ok, lol

  • 40% does sound really high. Where did that statistic come from?

    • It was a study by the CDC where they interviewed men about rape. and found this strikingly high number.

    • @Anpu23 Oh. Well, how many guys were interviewed? Like a percentage of all male rape victims I mean?

    • A total of 14,155 interviews were conducted (7,758 women and 6,397 men)
      here's a link to the study if you want to read it.
      www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/ss6308a1.htm
      but it suggests that if you include the definition of "made to penetrate" the number of rape victims between men and women almost normalizes. There's another study that shows that women are as sexually aggressive as men I would have to dig it up though, but that study includes such things as steeling a kiss as a sexual predatory act. So you can take that for what you will.

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  • I don't think it's made to penetrate but more along the lines of drugged and used.
    There have been several reported cases, that I've read in which the woman subdued the male be it with drugs or physically and forced herself onto him.
    www.rt.com/.../
    thoughtcatalog.com/.../

    • What a bizarre article wtf.

    • Is this even real?

    • @QuestionMan Yep, it can happen under very extraordinary circumstances

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  • So getting hard is the same as wanting sex?

    That's like saying that women who get wet or climax while being raped secretly wanted it, and this isn't an uncommon thing
    No. It's a physical response to stimuli.

    You've never gotten a boner out of literally nowhere? So we wake up every morning wanting to fuck? NO. It's a physical response to stimuli

    I don't buy the 40% stat, but talking about male rape doesn't marginalize any other type of rape

  • I'm not convinced by the 40% figure either, but seriously? Men CAN be taped, but it's just not normally in the same way as women; usually it's through blackmail, threats with a weapon, or while unconcious (although I don't know how the whole errct thing works with that).
    And as a man do you never get erect when you don't want to? If women strip down in front of a man to fuck him, most men would get hard whether they want sex or not; and even if they didn't just touching him up a bit would probably get him up.
    And finally, circulating this kind of thing doesn't in any way marginalise women. All it does is raise awareness, since male rape is very rarely spoken of.

    • 'And finally, circulating this kind of thing doesn't in any way marginalise women.' That's ok because that was not the intended goal :)

  • TL; DC

    "Women are less physically strong and less aggressive."
    That's what drugs are for.

    "Women are much harder to become sexually aroused and therefore less incentivised to initiate something like rape even if they could."

    hahahhahhahaha hahahahah hahahahaahaha...

    Women cannot get a man hard if he does not want to do it.
    You must not have had morning sex.

    "Women don't carry around date rape kits of viagra, rohl hypnol and handcuffs as far as I'm aware."
    No, it's probably at her place, where the man followed her with the promise of something.

  • "Women cannot get a man hard if he does not want to do it." Bullshit.

    Where are your damn sources on these claims? I can't take anything seriously from anyone if you haven't include citations.

    Men are raped as often, if not more than women (SOURCE: ajph.aphapublications.org/.../AJPH.2014.301946

    Rape statistics tend to not include male prisoner rapes - go figures.

    Another SOURCE: www.slate.com/.../...n_are_sexually_assaulted.html

    As you can see, instances of male rape are underreported and therefore statistics are shunned.

    And yet here you are telling us you don't "buy" the 40% stat... well, you know what? It's 46% according to the U. S. Bureau of Justice Statistics.

    Source: https://jmm.sagepub.com/content/12/3/275.abstract

    • Original poster has been incinerated. Good Job @WombRaider.

    • @WombRaider
      @Words_and_Wisdom

      there is this:

      www.reddit.com/.../

    • Reddit isn't a source...

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  • I'm a feminist and I definitely believe men can be raped by women. What makes you think feminist don't believe that?

    A lot of your points don't stand. Not all men have to overpower their victim so why do women? Also rape is usually about power not just sex so again your point is invalid. And I don't know about you but I can't help when I become sexually aroused and a lot of women that are raped manage to climax but that doesn't prove consent. It is possible and it does exist. To what extent I'm not sure.

    • It was a staple of second wave feminism that women do not rape. That rape is a tool used by men to control women. Many prominent writers and activists have at one time or another stated that rape is purely a crime against women. I know that that has changed, but it was a belief in the feminist movement in the past.

    • many feminists stand against MRAs because promoting men's rights is seen as marginalising the issues women face in society. it is MRAs that argue in favour of 40%. the victim has to be overpowered or drugged. men's rapes just require a lot less planning and co-ordination. e. g. if a guy drugs a girl in a bar with rohypnol, it is easy to say she had too much to drink and carry her out. if a woman does the same (and usually they are not sexually motivated enough to do so), she is going to have to carry someone nearly twice her own size and weight. a guy can overpower a woman without drugs. the average woman is smaller and weaker so she will have a hard time overpowering the guy which means she will probably need to drug him and tie him up whereas most guys could just use brute force. and then the final hurdle for female rape is the erection problem. in short it is theoretical possible, just only in very exceptional circumstances - so not 40%

    • @WhaChaChaKing Men can be raped by women. Statutory rape is the most probable. Drunk guys are the other option. "I don't know about you but I can't help when I become sexually aroused" Then it's just a lack of self control.

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  • Why do you insinuate feminists don't care about men being raped?
    I certainly do, and made to penetrate does exist! Of course not to the level of men-raping-woman, but it does exist.

    • Depends how you define feminism. Usually it is MRAs drawing attention to the 40% stat. Feminists just want to pay lip service to equality so MRAs can't say they don't care about male rape.

  • I had no idea, do you have any links of where you found this? Would make for an interesting read

    • yes, check out the conversation with womb raider. the webpage is reddit but the source comes from a conversation with NISVS debunking MRA interpretation of the so-called 40% stat from the CDC report.

    • Hey, thanks I will

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