Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I'm a nineteen year old virgin and I never been on a date. I don't see the point in waiting anymore. I'm not waiting till marriage or a relationship happens because I can see why it's pointless. I just want to get my fear of sex over with.
Why not wait till marriage?
Most women these days end up getting married in their late twenties or later in life. Most men have no interest in continuing to date a woman who's waiting till marriage, and I'm not interested in lowering my dating pool and excluding awesome guys by waiting till marriage. As a woman, I know I will get more and more horny as I get older so I'd be very unhappy and bitter until I wait till marriage. If I wait till marriage, there's also the possibility that I find out that my future husband and I aren't sexually compatible. I feel that it's very important for me to have some experience with sex and know what I want sexually before I get married to the person.
The expectation of a woman waiting till marriage or a relationship is rooted in misogyny
Why is it a very big deal to lose your virginity but your first time driving or your first kiss is not that big of deal? How come barely anyone expects guys to wait till marriage or a relationship? There's way more women voluntarily waiting till marriage than there are guys voluntarily waiting till marriage, so something is obviously wrong here. There's a double standard of prejudice that women should be pure and men should try to sleep with many women as they can. How does that not fit the definition of sexism? As a woman, I don't support or promote any form of misogyny so fuck that.
Why not wait till a relationship or the "right" guy?
I'm not psychic or smart enough to know who will be the "right" guy. How can anyone be that psychic or smart enough to know who the right person is for them and if that person will be with them forever. You never know what the future can hold. It takes a very long time to know another person well enough. Either I or he might realize later on were not meant to be, and as I said earlier, most guys aren't willing to wait that long to know you like that. People change as they get older. And shit can happen in relationships. Divorce and breakups happen a lot these days. It would be very unrealistic of me to expect that the first guy I do it with will be the last guy I do it with.
I heard it's very common for emotions to be tied into sex when you're in love with the person. If the first guy I have sex with is also the first guy I fall in love with, I know I would be very emotionally devastated if he eventually breaks my heart down the road and I would regret losing my virginity to him.
Rape is more common than you think
As much as I try to "prevent" it from happening to me, there are many stories of girls getting raped in the most unexpected times and places. I'm really not interested in potentially losing my virginity to a rapist. I'm a college student and it's more common for girls around my age to get raped. I feel like the longer I wait, I put myself in more risk of having my first time with a rapist.
Who do I want to do it with?
Some guy who I find physically attractive, who doesn't have an STD, who is single, who I'm not in love with or have a crush on, who is okay with kissing and cuddling me, who listens to me and won't do something I'm not comfortable with, who I can trust enough to have sex with, who I don't consider relationship material but as friend and fuck buddy material, who doesn't have a horrible personality or an attitude, who's readily available and lives near me, who wants to be my fuck buddy until May, and who's not having sex with multiple people and is willing to only have sex with me until May. When I go back to school after finals, I want to find a fuck buddy and I do have some guys in mind.
What Girls & Guys Said
21 50You come off as an idiot.
You are free to do anything you want. It's your body. You don't need to justify want you want to do, like what you're doing now.
Just don't regret it. As the the other posters have said this doesn't help you in your future marriage.
You may one day find someone who ticks all the right boxes, is a keeper and waited for someone like you.
What are you going to tell him on your wedding night is going to be interesting.
Will he walk away and call it off or use it to justify cheating on you at a later date.
Sex is amazing when you do it with person who love you deeply from heart ♥ and about word virginity of a girl, your past is not a matter if you with a boy who respect you from heart and love you deeply from heart ♥ then it's not matter you virgin or you sex someone before marriage because real gentleman want a loyal heart ♥ girl not virginity of a girl.. And it's not necessary you have need sex experience before marriage because nature or time teach us everythings. for example when you a little newly born baby you don't walk or talk but now you walk, talk and run fast so dear if you virgin then it's good you gift your virginity to your future husband at 1st wedding night, don't listen myths at internet about sex, it's your life and choose a right person because sex is a part of life not sex is everything in life..
I can see your reasons, but I worry you are saying things out of fear of being hurt. What if you find a guy that loves you for you and you are really intimate together? i lost my virginity to a guy that a I dated when he had a break from his ex (we were early 20s) but broke my heart and went back to his girlfriend - which to this day they are married with kids. I would have never have ended up with him, but I still view intimacy as kinda special. yeah FWBs are just there to fill in time. But really, women don't really need sex as much as everyone makes it all out to be.
A great life comes with great love and great pain... if you can be positive and remember this is your journey and do the right thing by yourself deep down inside, then go for it. Don't rush into things because you fear. Don't do anything rash, look after yourself.
The temptation is to simply swear off all relationships and position ourselves for a content single life surrounded by things that matter.
I hate that shit. Like a women's worth or knowing she'll be a good partner, a ride or die, a "good" person, is not solely based on her damn yoni. Definitely not some thin ass skin on it's entrance. Funfact: Some women don't really lose their hymen completely. Those ridges around the entrance are actually remnants of your hymen. That's your choice and I see nothing wrong with it. A women having sex or sleeping around in itself is not bad however with sleeping around it just tends to show her character if she's that easy to give herself up. (Playing devils advocate there, but no I'm not saying women can't have urges too, nor that losing your virginity or wanting to lose it makes you a loose easy woman by default). Anywho don't listen to these people who spit BS (conservative) rhetoric like "Oh it'll make your relationship last longer" from people like Lauren Southern (Who doesn't take her own damn advice) who get their "statics" from... biased BS conservative writings to begin with. Losing your virginity has no bearing on how long or strong your relationship will be, PERIOD. There are people who do it the "right way" and still get used, heartbroken, divorced etc. Then there are those who did it the "wrong way" and lasted til the very end. You do what's best for you.
I'm still a virgin, but also letting God guide me to the right person for marriage
The reason most people wait for a relationship is tgat they are not comfortable with sleeping with anyone. At least, that is why i am a virgin, i need to trust and love the person, otherwise I could have done it last week for example. If you are fine with being intimate with anyone then do what you want, but makes sure that is what you want.
im also 19 and i just lost my virginity yesterday... i had no idea that was gonna happen. i connected with a guy and we went from there
Go for it
I think you have a perfect mindset and that you are absolutely right. I wish you the best. Take care.
I was in exactly the same place you are now, except I was four years older than you. By then I had realised that "the one" isn't going to come along, and even if she does, I'd have no clue as to how to act around her (obviously, having absolutely zero experience dating etc.). So I got a Tinder account and lost my virginity on a first date with a foreign girl I matched with. I have absolutely zero regrets doing what I did and I believe that the change in mindset made me a better person... if I had stayed the same I was back then, I'm sure I'd eventually become a very bitter and miserable guy (something like an incel).
I don't get why virginity is such a big deal anyway. We don't have a special name for a first kiss, first orgasm, first tennis play, first pint of beer or whatever else, so why should so much weight put on the first time you have (penetrative) sex?
tl;dr: just do whatever you want to do, not what society or your friends say you should do. There's nothing shameful about having sex, virgin or not.
This is about one of the dumbest takes I've seen yet here on GAG.
Sorry toots. You're a complete fool.
Your whole MyTake sounded like sour grapes. No REAL analysis going on here.
bamesjond0069 is right
The whole point of waiting on sex is that yes you WON'T interest a lot of guys, but that's the POINT. You WANT to filter out your dating pool.
Your “first” everything should be a big deal to YOU.
I don't know why society is set up the way it is when it comes to men and women but it is what it is.
As for losing your virginity it’s very rare that a person spends the rest of their life with their 1st but it’s not unheard of.
Me personally: I get attached to a person I have sex with. Typically we do it 3x’s we go together lol. I don’t think you should have sex with this guy but the decision is totally yours. I think you should wait not till YOU find somebody but when somebody finds YOU, you guys have a connection and it’s mad chemistry there.
A lot of emotions come with having sex with a person. Just prepare yourself for ALL the possibilities of how you may feel after the fact. I know you think you have a plan but sex changes things.
P. S. Keep ya head in those books girl lol
I am waiting till marriage, and I hope that my wife does also. You may not like it, but that is my choice
Good post! My advice to you is not to rush it. I was a virgin until I was 23/24. I am not going to tell you how I lost mine, but I rushed to lose it because I thought I was missing out. Trust me, you're not missing much.
what do you think of late late virgins? Are they creatures from outer space will u criticize them?
@kitty71 I don't criticize anyone based on sexual activity. Everyone has their own kinks and desires. There's nothing wrong with being a late virgin, but society has 2 very different views of late virgins. Men - If you're a man and you are in your late 20s or early 30s and still haven't had sex, society will see you as a loser. Men will think that you're a loser for not being able to lay at least one woman, and women will think you're weird or that you're not desirable because women don't want to have sex with you. Basically, it's a double edge sword for men... especially since women want a man with a little experience. Women - I cannot speak on how women view other women who haven't had sex... however, a lot of men view women who are late virgins as a diamond. Basically, men think it's a good thing and they like it better when they are a woman's first.
Good point indeed. Menare seen as loosers if they had not had sex at a certain age maybe because because men are view as the stronger gender as the sexual creatures as thealpha macho who re the ones who are the first to score a date andnot the other way around or that issomething wrong with them
Some women are too annoying to ever lose their virginity.
Nice. Good luck smashing it out.
Same and you are 100% right. Do not be influenced by these hoeish guys to stay a virgin. Do what you want to do.