Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Women and girls, from a very young age on are incredibly insecure. For a lot of us not looking perfect makes us feel like we ARE inadequate. Like we somehow failed as a person, like we don't deserve love, a relationship or affection.
A lot of women say that they dress for themselves, that they get their nails done for themselves, have long hair for themselves, get bikini waxes for themselves, get plastic surgery for themselves ....
But tbh I think that's a bit naive. What it comes down to in the end is being an attractive option for men, no matter how you twist and turn it. They say they feel more confident. Ya but what makes you feel confident? Being liked and desired by people, especially the opposite sex. So a lot of women do those things (and then some) to appeal to men and delude themselves into thinking it's what they want.
And I think that's because there is somehow this idea out there that wanting men's approval is a terrible thing and a sign of weakness, when it's not. There's nothing wrong with wanting men's approval. In fact wanting to appeal to the opposite gender is innate and it's not gonna change anytime soon.
I think or I hope that most men DO care about women. Not just getting our approval but that they want us to be happy, that they want to be with women who are smart, who they have something in common, who they geniunley have a connection with. But the thing is you're not letting us know enough. Or at all really. All we see in the media and even in real world is men caring about looks and sex. If you're not gonna continue reading the take, this is the main take away here. If you do care about things other than looks, let us know!
I hope this doesn't come across like blaming men for everything. What compelled me to write this take is that a lot of guys complain about women being vain or too concerned with their looks but they don't see their own role in it.
And the same time when we women complain about the way the world characterizes us, all you get from a lot of men is complete apathy, which is extremely frustrating.
How did we get here?
There was a small little study where researchers looked at teenage girls diary entries from the dawn of the 20th century and today. What they found is that, back then girls focused almost entirely on being a better person. On being kind to others and being polite, while today girls focused entirely on looking better.
I suppose it all started in the 40s and 50s when it became more and more acceptable to use women's bodies to sell products. While a lot of the images were clearly sexist and often a little sexualising. It was far from what we deal with no.
And I thinks that's partially because the world was different. Often on here men ask what is point of having a relationship? Of being married? What are women good for other than sex? Well in the 50s they knew. There was little doubt about what role women had society and what value we had as well.
Most people view the change of gender roles as something positive, and I do too, but I think it's not talked about enough, especially in this context.
It's often discussed how men don't know their place and their value in this world anymore now that they don't have to be the provider. But it's rarely mentioned that women don't know their place and value in this world either. If it's not being a mother and wive, then what is it? Maybe it IS just sex? That's what the media tells us anyway. All we want from a young age is to fit in, so we follow what we're being told and that's how you get 10 year olds dressing and in some ways behaving like prostitutes.
On a side note: There is this quite famous article out there that claims that the past US election was a referendum on gender and women lost. I'm not sure I'd go that far but it certainly doesn't help that we now have a president who has a trophy wife, brags about sexual harassment and publicly rates women on a scale from 1 to 10.
It's not real
All the imagines you see online, in magazines and TV they're not real. Cindy Crawford infamously said "I wish I looked like Cindy Crawford". Everything we see is manipulated to be perfect, but that's not what women look like in reality. Not even the models they're showing look like that and women feel terrible about their bodies because we can't possibly live up to that.
Expectations both men and women have towards how women should look like have gone a little out of control.
Take this picture of Sophia Loren for example, who would have been considered very attractive in her time. And who clearly has a healthy and beautiful body. But she also has flaws. Her stomach isn't flat, her thighs have a bit of cellulite and you can see back fat on top of her bra. And all of that is normal. But girls today who look like this will feel incredibly insecure and inadequate because of it
And guys, I'm assuming, are the same. They'd think she's alright looking but she could lose some weight, do something about the cellulite....
Most of us know images we see in the media are fake, but it doesn't matter, it still affects out standards, our perception of what is normal. So in an ideal world, I think no one would use photoshop but that's not very realistic. For now I think the best we can do, is to not constantly criticize womens looks. As long as you're in a healthy weight range, you shouldn't have to worry about looking perfect. We should promote images that are not heavily retouched, that show what women really look like.
And I get most of you guys are not magazine editors, you don't get to decide what type of imagies goes into that. But well tbh that's a bit of a last century excuse. The great thing about social media that EVERYONE gets to share and promote the content they like. So do that!
You know, all those "which one of these girls is hottest?" questions on here? Just once I'd like see one with all non photoshopped pictures
And to be clear here, because I'm sure someone will bring it up, I'm not suggesting that men should find a specific weight or bodyfat percentage attractive, but that we shouldn't digitally alter image of bodies that already conform the common standard of beauty.
Sexualisation vs Objectification
I wouldn't normally have written about this but I've found it comes up a lot here. I have no doubt guys in the comments will link plenty of pictures of guys in underwear to prove that men are equally sexualised.
But there's a difference between the two. They're related but not the same. And while both are not great, one is clearly worse than the other.
Sexualisation is to make something sexual. It'll be your average underwear ad, playboy magazine, perfume ad ....
It's really exaggeration of what is natural, men being attracted to women and vice versa. And I think it's been taken way too far these days, but in some ways it's normal and it's not going away.
Objectification is the action of degrading someone to the status of a mere object. In this context as a sex object. Treating women like they don't have feelings and thoughts on their own or like their wishes, fears and desires don't matter. I think most mainstream porn is a good example of that. (The woman is just treated as a masturbation aid, what she wants or feels doesn't matter), but it's increasingly common in the mainstream media also, like this infamous burger kind ad
I know a lot of guys don't like laci green and I don't agree with everything she says but I think she explains this point quite well
It's true that men are also sexualised and it's becoming increasing more common and I don't think that's great either, trust me that's not the type of equality we want. If you want to talk about that though, please write your own take.
What you can do about
Getting back what I said in the beginning, the problem is men not letting us know that you care about more than looks. Well the good thing is, it's easily fixed.
It's the little things: I'll put this first because it's most important. We should all try to do little things to make the world a little better where we can, right? Don't litter, turn off the water when you brush your teeth and so on. Well the same principle applies here.
Tell your girlfriend that you enjoy her company, that you value her opinions and thoughts. Promote positive role models to your sister and don't focus too much on appearance when you buy clothes for your daughter. And tell them all to voice their wants and needs.
Don't catcall girls. I know duh!. But also call out guys who do especially if you know them. Don't say women deserved to get raped or harassed because of what they were wearing
And it's also in what you DON'T do. Silence is golden sometimes. I see this a lot, guys calling women they see online fat or ugly, when they are quite normal. And I don't get why? What do you have to gain from it? Just don't do it! Whatever happened to common decency? I don't think this type of behavior should be acceptable and in fact it's not. Not in reality anyway, but somehow on the internet guys think it''s different. Don't you realize that girls reading this stuff also?
I used to work as a model when I was a teenager and sometimes some of those pictures would end up online. And i remember the first time it happened. I was 15, it was my first big job and it was very excited and I read the comment under that particular post and a lot of them were like "her tits are too small, would not fuck" and another comment said "great girl, where can I get one of her? " one of me? You can't get a woman like you get groceries and it's not ok to talk about us like that. Those comments hurt especially because they were about me, personally. But I've seen them on posts of other women and it still stings. I'm sure most girls will feel the same
Vote with your dollar: This goes for both men and women but mostly women. Women are half the population and women are by far the bigger consumers of products and services. Men don't buy a lot of things, which is why advertisers use so much sexualisation and objectification of women to get men to buy their stuff. So if a company, movie or TV channel puts out objectifying ads, go elsewhere.
Now that you've seen the Burger King ad above, choose McDonalds over them when you can. Or better even a local restaurant.
American Apparel is bankrupt partially because of a backlash to their infamously objectifying ads. And they deserved it.
If a news channel continuously has to settle sexual harassment claims, hires only pretty women and forbids them from wearing pants, don't watch it.
Vote with your vote! I mentioned Donald Trump earlier and he's in good company. If a congressman says this about a woman kneeling down in the white house, don't vote for him.
"you can just explain to me that circumstance, because she really looked kind of familiar in that position there. Don’t answer — and I don’t want you to refer back to the ’90s"
And it's not just america, for someone who has been found guilty of statutory rape, Silvio Berlusconi was in charge of Italy for way too long
Don't do it ! As I said earlier, I used to be a model. My problem was that when I was no longer a teenager, I became too fat for the fashion industry. But not too fat for men's magazines. When my agency dropped me that's the advice they gave. There's good money in it and you want feel attractive and desired. So I get it's tempting. A lot of girls dream to be on the cover of the magazines because they think all men will want them then.
But when you do that, you're being part of the problem. And I think unless it's out of bare necessity, no girl should do it. You have all those girls on Instagram now posting sexy pictures of their bodies for nothing.They don't need to do it, no one is forcing them to. As I said I get where they're coming from, so much but you'd be better off doing something worthwhile with your life. Something that's not posing in bikinis for strangers on the internet.
For guys I guess it would be don't encourage girls to do it. But most guys don't have to be told, they know that they don't want women they love to be treated like that. Women on the other hand sometimes even go as far as telling themselves it's empowering, which it really isn't.
That's it. So bring on the downvotes guys ...
What Girls & Guys Said
20 60"What men can do about it"
How is that our problem? Ya know you could just not pay attention to it all. Problem solved.
There's this endless quest for perfection, and the media pushes it. When you reach a certain level, you get pushed to 'one-up' it. There's an add that has two women, and one of them is sad because her teeth weren't white enough. I'm thinking, "They both have PERFECT teeth, and they're STILL not happy!"
Those comments you got about your appearance as a model were just guys being mean. I'd never say anything like that. I think the push for women to look so skinny in fashion world is from gay fashion men, who want their models to look as boy-like as possible.
As for Sophia Loren, I always thought she was an incredible fantasy woman.
So like, some good points and stuff :)
But just to counter a little, I've always felt like it's my responsibility to take care of how I feel and think about myself, cuz we can control how we respond to stuff :)
We can all appreciate beauty. Just because you're insecure and compare yourself to 1% of the population that can look flawless doesn't mean you ruin it for all of us. A lot of women can reach those standards if they actually put the effort to get in shape with diligent effort. No we can't change our bone structure, but that's where a rational mindset comes in.
Not everything is photoshopped to the extent that you think either. You fix trivial things with photoshop but the foundation of the product is already there. It's absolutely real. I see people saying this in bodybuilding all the time. The product is already there.
We all have our insecurities. I'm not for this whole everyone is beautiful movement. I don't want to see fat chicks on the covers of magazines. I like seeing youthful busty and aesthetically appealing women. That's not going to change.
An advertiser's goal is to sell a product. Fat chicks don't make clothing look good. Ugly chicks don't make clothing look good. Sexually attractive top tier women make clothing look good.
Some women like to show themselves off sexually. A lot of men including myself like to do that as well. If that makes you insecure, then you don't have to participate. If what others are doing makes you insecure, then you simply need to work on your confidence.
I'll encourage women to do it because I love it when women have the confidence to do that. If the girl likes to do it, and the guy likes to see it, and they both profit, what's the issue? The only issue is you being insecure at the fact that attractive women have the ability to do that while you don't.
I liked some parts of this MyTake but I wanna add my opinion anyway. If YOU have insecurities, it's up to YOU to deal with them. I have my own insecurities, hell I'm so self-conscious to the point of being depressed but I seriously don't feel like blaming others. Yeah, sometimes people are cruel and make nasty comments but you should learn to not give a damn about it.
I don't agree with men in the comments below, that women love to be objectified. Normal, regular and a SMART woman/girl doesn't want that. But if some girls keep posting barely naked selfies on the internet and acting all promiscuous, I'm not surprised why they feel like this but of course, no one should ever forget that not everyone is the same. You can't put everyone in the same category. It's like with the "all men are damn cheaters" ('cause they really aren't).
Also, it kinda surprised me. I've never really believed them before or more likely couldn't imagine why would men be insecure but have you ever visited or read through bodybuilding website? Or sluthate, lookism etc. So many men are insecure. A big number of them depressed, some even consider suicide...
Suicide, yes. Around 75%. In America, 25,000 gun deaths are suicides, most of them men 'cuz we have to go out with a bang.
The flaw in this whole argument you're making is that women drive this more than men do. You can start with the basic premise that women want to win men's approval and affection, but for most women they do their hair and nails to beat other women and get the guy. The guy is an after thought in that equation. Hence why women often go after guys who have multiple girls interested, or deal with married men or men in relationships. It's this desire to beat each other with the hat outfit or bat body. Women's magazines are full of more naked women than men's magazines. It in there it's "fashion." What can women do about this? I don't know, because women are turning the tables on men and expectations and perfect six packs and no guys dick is big enough or fucks long enough, so what are women doing? Running around with multiple men for extra validation. The hook up culture that is supposed to be empowering women to embrace their sexuality is actually giving them free reign for more self destructive behavior. For every women who wants to be treated equal out there, who is cringing on what I am saying... what BOTH sides need to do is stop seeing any of these issues as one gender v the other or one gender responsible while we are the victim. We all contribute to this. Women need to stop buying into it and people will stop selling it. For every guy you thought only used you for sex, you stomped on the hearts of several other guys who wouldn't do that. You chase after bad boys and wonder why you get treated like shit. Everyone needs to own their shit. Men and I included. But until we start from the point that we need to fix our problem, v pointing fingers, we can never take the first step. As inherit as you think sexism is from men and how unconscious it is, that same unconscious bias caused this misguided plea for help from you. I agree with much of what you said, I hope my daughter never feels this pain but will, and I hope I can give her perspective as I try not to pass on the same bias to repeat the cycle...
Well this is a take about men's role in this, so of course it's one sided, as in it only looks at one side, not all possible variables. I'm not sure why but a lot of guys seem to think that by elaborating one variable you deny the existence of other, which is of course stupid. It's a big topic and I couldn't possibly fit everything into one article, so you descope, focus on one variable also. Which I thought I had explained well enough but apparently didn't. Kinda the same with men sexualised, I don't want to discuss here because it deserves it's own take instead being discussed on the sidelines, but apparently some men interpreted that as me denying it exists.
You can't talk about one aspect of sexualizatiin and not bring in how it impacts both or all sides. That is sexist in how to present it. It validates your opinion but invalidates the other by omission. We can't say men have this problem with out acknowledging women's contribution to this or it makes the argument too biased to take seriously. In direct response to what you are saying, in my opinion women drive this sexualization more than men in this day and age. Men drove it more in the past. So what can men do about it? Point out to women it needs to start with them and explain why... we will stop buying or buy something else if you all stop selling..
You can't look at only one aspect of a topic at a time? That's a pity really but that's not how it works for most people
Actually it is how it works for most people. Singling out one part of a topic only suits those needs and doesn't address the entire issue. Based on the female responses to this thread, it looks like more women agree with what I am saying too. This is not a what can men do issue. It's a what can we do. As long as you phrase it to just men and we are the problem, the issue will never get resolved
don't you agree that men are part of "we" I think you should be able to explain without having to say "oh and by the way men have it just as bad" after every sentence. I know people on internet are super political correct and you always have to mention that it goes both ways, but looking at aspect of a big topic at a time is a very rational thing to do. And as for the things that I said people should do, two were primarily addressed to women. So in this take about men's role in this, I didn't even focus on men entirely and yet it still wasn't politically correct enough
I'm not exactly saying guys have it just as bad after every sentence. While I said that, my main point was women drive this as much if not more than men. It would be like talking about global warming to just auto makers v the coal industry as well. Excluding one side or another favors your argument. It takes away it's credibility. It's why feminists are taken seriously even by most women. They make arguments that aren't balanced or their solution is to do to men what they are complaining about. Yes, most people of both genders did not agree with your take and many were severely offended. But it was good to see women have a good handle on not playing the victim role as much as 20 years ago, and honestly that's the progress in the women's movement. Always a silver lining...
Why feminists are not take seriously
just that I DID mention what women should/shouldn't do as well
"Here is a problem that women face. Now this is how men are going to fix it"
Wait... wut? lol
The base principle is off from the beginning. It is not the job of men to solve the problems women face. Just like it's not the job of women to solve the problems men face. If I had a daughter I couldn't imagine teaching her, "honey, your life is going to suck unless you find a man to solve all of your problems".
PERFECTLY put. The the mytake owner is now replying to me about why women shouldn't take responsibility for their behavior and has the audacity to say ''alot of men think like..'' while calling us stupid.
@guysaskgirls555 How men think is irrelevant in the matter. This is something that women need to take care of if they feel it's a problem and that it needs solving. Plain and simple.
Amen to that! For women, the world can suck sometimes. But others times, the world can be great! It's all about how you deal with it. We can do a lot to make it not suck so much! E. g. Don't read those magazines! Don't waste your vote etc. but most importantly, don't sit around complaining about it. Take action! I do think it's sad that the USA has a president who has a trophy wife and rates women. But that's ok, because I think he is a BIG ZERO, and will go down in history as one of American's greatest mistakes.
@Poppykate Most men would be fine with a good trophy wife and already rate women lol
And that's fine! But I wouldn't date!
The responsibility of one's self esteem is on that one person. No one can change that person's self-esteem without that person's consent.
What makes men and women desirable are dependent on different factors. Women are valued for their physical attributes. Men are visual creatures and look for certain physical attributes in women. However, women value a man's ability to provide resources. Thus, women are better looking than men. Your view on objectification is not accurate. Women are objectified as a sperm depository, but men are objectified as ATMs. How often do women say, a man has to pay for dates? They say it all of the time. Poor men are not valued just as ugly women are not valued. When you do make your rants, why don't you tell women that a poor man has value too? The reality of dating is men date to have sex. Most men do not care to talk to women about things. That's why men have male friends. Women date a man for his job and/or ambition. More importantly, I will not vote for someone because of this issue. The economy and national defense, for example, are more important issues at the moment.
It was well-written, but you're not going to gain anyones support or change peoples way of thinking by placing most of the responsivility for women's self confidence on men while at the same time ignoring that men have a lot of insecurities too. The difference is that when men feel insecure they are told to shut the fuck up, stop whining, and get over it. We dont have giant political movements that validate our feelings or fight for our emotional wellbeing.
So dont be surprised if men aren't overwhelmed with sympathy over your insecurities, especially when you paint the same narrative of men having it easy while women are the ones in need of help.
The only people who respond positively to this take will be the people who already shared your point of view before they even read it.
So if your goal was to get approval from people who already agreed with you, great. However, if your intent was to actually gain the support of people who didn't already agreed with you then I doubt you swayed a single person.
Well this is a take about men's role in this, so of course it's one sided, as in it only looks at one side, not all possible variables. I'm not sure why but a lot of guys seem to think that by elaborating one variable you deny the existence of other, which is of course stupid. It's a big topic and I couldn't possibly fit everything into one article, so you descope, focus on one variable also. Which I thought I had explained well enough but apparently didn't. Kinda the same with men sexualised, I don't want to discuss here because it deserves it's own take instead being discussed on the sidelines, but apparently some men interpreted that as me denying it exists.
Still, it came across like you are placing most of the responsibility for women’s self-esteem on men. Even a couple of girls perceived it that way so it’s not like it’s just guys here being assholes. And if someone had written a take about what girls should do to make men less insecure, I doubt they would get a better reaction. It would be the same reaction you got or even worse. Guys would likely respond positively while girls would tell the guys to stop whining, that girls have it worse and they should get the fuck over it. Maybe not exactly in those words, but that would be the general consensus “but apparently some men interpreted that as me denying it exists” It’s not even necessarily denying it exists. It’s the message that it’s not as important/not a priority. That women’s struggles with self-esteem are more valid and more deserving of attention. Not even just with your take, that’s just the message guys get in general.
And as I said, it comes back to what your goal was in writing this. If you just wanted to voice frustrations and get support from women who already shared your viewpoint then cool, nothing wrong with that. Most Mytakes are like that. However, if you wanted to gain the support of the other side and get people to change their thoughts and behaviors then it doesn’t seem like you were successful. It came across as more of an accusatory rant rather than an appeal for sympathy.
Well honestly I think a lot of people a little overemotional and not able to have a conversation about this without constantly screaming "Men have it just as bad". Yes I knew that going in but at the same time I'm not sure in what way I wouldn't have appealed to that crowd more? To say it's all 100% women's fault? Well that wasn't my point and it's not true. And in the "What you can do" 50% of my points were addressed primarily at women and still men here are crying I didn't say anything about what women can do. But I did. So really it seems the only way to please them is to excuse them from any wrongdoing And I'm not sure a take about how women can help with men's insecurity would be perceived so badly. And a bunch of guys said that either they DO only care about looks or they don't want to help with this. So I think it's a shame people are so hostile towards each other, but this take was really addressed to men who care about more than looks and are generally good people who want
to help where they can
You do us a disservice with this. There is an argument for over sexualisation and objectifaction but you're just going on with popular things you've been told.
Someone may cut my brakes for saying this, but my one friend made a good point. The fashion industry is run by gay men. I think people need to see that sure they may have a gay friend and don't go gay bashing on the weekends doesn't mean that they understand it. And one thing people do not realize is that the LGBT community is plagued with body image issues. It is time to have a real conversation with your LGBT friends, and we can get this bodyi mage crap at the source. Because being mad at straight males and not the people who run the industry is like cops arresting junkies and not the dealer
No one is responsible for your very own insecurities. So get over yourself.
TLDR
You wanna show it, we'll look at it. We're not gonna do anything about it. It is what it is.
And yes, all fashion and styles are ALL based on what men like. Absolutely correct there.
Oh, and we're not all gonna fix what thousands of yeas has brought us to. It just is. Let it be so.
I've tried complimenting women on things other than looks and get friend zoned all the time, where's the men who say sexy and hot get sex or dates. Explain that please!
On topic, I love women in jeans and t shirt, so women I like are ones that don't fuss on looks. If they wear no make up and don't comb their hair I won't care. I don't care about butts or boobs and legs smaller ones actually. Sure I will still have a look/type preference, but second choice I like a woman who is active and not afraid to get dirty or go hiking with me, so it makes sense I see non-dress clothes more attractive and a more slimmer body frame, it all works out actually.
You get friend zoned because our culture today is SO saturated with one thing: sex. Anything that doesn't pertain to that gets read as just trite friendliness, nothing special or important.
@MelanieAmber33 yet over sexual they think your a pervert, makes no sense!
All those girls look fine tbh. The one in your caption for this take is fit as hell. Damn!
"Treating women like they don't have feelings and thoughts on their own or like their wishes, fears and desires don't matter. I think most mainstream porn is a good example of that. (The woman is just treated as a masturbation aid, what she wants or feels doesn't matter), but it's increasingly common in the mainstream media also, like this infamous burger kind ad"
If anything the burger is "objectifying" men's bodies in that ad, let's just have that understood, but whatever.
The woman IS NOT treated as a masturbation aid. Firstly, the IMAGE is treated as a masturbation aid.. because it is. It's a object and it's being used. Second, men a SUBJECTIFYING the character in the image, projecting their own desires onto it. Thirdly, sometimes that not really necessary because THE CHARCTER is totally into the act on display. So no mainstream porn is definitely not a good example of your point. If anything it's a good argument for the opposite; that men actually really care what women want and that there's mutual enthusiasm for the act.
Men tell women constantly that they don't need to put such emphasis on looks. If anything the issue is that they don't accept approval from guys. Like you said, it's all so they can "feel confident." If a guy could compliment a girl on her appearance and she could feel genuinely satisfied by that (obviously liking appearance is never going away so let's just do it healthily) then you can move on from it. Like, "yes you're physically attractive so can we accept it and talk about other stuff now?" That's when you get into communicating the appreciation of character. But no, comment on a woman's appearance and apparently you're objectifying/sexualising/oppressing her, she does whatever she does for herself and you're not entitled to an opinion. Try to tell her that such a mentality makes her seam mean or unappealing (focusing on character like you want) and she scoff's at you, feeling entitled to look down upon anyone she doesn't like because apparently being a "bitch" is some kind of empowerment thing.
I think valuing men's approval might be the way out of this. Insecure all the time? Well, maybe try actually accepting the approval men give (and let's be real, there's no shortage of it, they want your approval and for you to accept their's and visa versa). If you can't feel attractive when you're told you're attractive then you're insecure because YOU are insecure and should work on that aspect of yourself.
TL;DR Objectification don't real.
Speak of the devil...
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a36354-it-s-okay-to-be-a-b-tch
This all wrong.
Men and women should bring each other up through communication, not just make each other feel nice in the moment. Regardless of what us men do to make you **feel** attractive, it'll end up doing more harm than good because there would be no adaptation. Same goes for the gender-reversed situation.
Isn't that why sites like this exist to begin with? Is it not to help men and women understand how to adapt to what the opposite gender expects from them? This whole insecurity thing can only be fixed WITH PRESSURE. With pressure comes determination to grow. With growth comes success. With success comes security. There's no good shortcut to it.
I know I'm not pretty enough... My old friends of mine told me I am fat, ugly and a little dumb but I'm stil a good person so..
Yup...
They actually told you that? And you still call them friends? Is that why your handle is Dog19?
Or you know... Girls could just have other values then the approval of guys?
If all your insecurities are because of worrying about what people think of you then why not just stop caring? Find people who like YOU and not just the fake face you put on... Like you're trying to find a guy that loves you for you and cares about other stuff then looks? Then why don't you be you so they can see those things?
why not just stop caring? because we're a social species. Not caring what other people think makes an outlier, possibly sociopath. Fitting in with the group is kinda essential to our survival, excommunication can mean death. So we're all looking for approval from the group, we can't just stop caring.
You find a group that you fit in with without being fake... It's really not that hard.
This "issue" is in your head. I don't change myself for people and I still have lots of friends... I hung out with them to have a good time not to try and fill some void with their approval.
Somhow women's problems always get blamed on men. Sorry girls solve your own problems.