Sexual Relationships
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Is it really a big deal if I slept with my best friend’s boyfriend but it doesn’t really count because we were too drunk and high?

This is something I have been living with for the past two years. Yes, it took that long before I could ever talk about it. Long story made short, I have a best friend that I have known since middle school. We were both on the dance team in high school and are very close. She has been with the same guy for 5 years and about two years ago, all three of us got really high and drunk which we normally don’t do. I asked her if I could spend the night and she was hesitant at first because she is very overprotective of her boyfriend and she said as long as I sleep on his couch then it would be fine. I couldn’t spend the night at her house because her parents don’t allow ANY SLEEPOVERS and they are to blame for what happened that night. If I was in my full senses, I wouldn’t have slept with him. Anyway, she leaves and is constantly blowing up my phone and asking if she could FaceTime me while I fell asleep. I got mad and we got into an argument because it felt like she didn’t trust me. I hung up on her and she started blowing up her boyfriends phone then he reassured her that he loved her and nothing would happen then she fell asleep because it was 4am.

Well, we had sex after she hung up. She apologized the next day to both of us and said she was just drunk and acting stupid. We accepted her apology and we kept that between ourselves. We were all very wasted and it’s something that haunts me so much. I can’t ever tell her.
0 2

Most Helpful Guys

  • If she's still with the same boyfriend, you may not want to confess as it may upset her and cause her to dump him. Even if she's no longer with him she may not want to remain friends with you if she finds out.

    • She is still with him.

    • You could ask her boyfriend if he thinks the two of you should tell her.

  • Gee, I wonder, lmfao,

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • You are not a good friend. I don't care how drunk or high you were. You don't sleep with your best friend's SO. Period.

    I got more fucked up in my time in college than you ever have yet I never slept wit anyone in a relationship.

    You need to tell her...

    • You admit to having tolerance and experience with alcohol and drugs. I didn’t have any experience.

    • Okay... but I didn't have that tolerance when I started with them. Doesn't matter... don't think it's okay to sleep with your friend's SO...

    • It’s obviously not okay! But it is understandable since we were both wasted

    • Show All

  • You are indeed the worst and you were not even sorry.
    You have the audacity to even blame her parents for your actions, what BS!!!
    Did her parents force you to get drunk and wasted, put a knife at your throat and demand you to consume alcohol? No, you did that on your own.
    people who cheat always have the most fantastic excuses. They blame everyone else, they blame their actions on being drunk, thus the lack of judgement, or the victim, or the victim's parents, or the person they cheated with but never themselves.
    I find it hilarious. Obviously, you were still sober enough to get mad at your friend for calling you that much, for wanting to facetime you. You were even sober enough to get into an argument with her before you fucked her boyfriend.
    So, don't give us excuses.
    The truth is you were jealous of your friend, you always felt her boyfriend could have done better, to be with someone else. And which person better than yourself.
    You've always wanted her boyfriend for yourself.
    Of course, her boyfriend is not much better. Obviously, your friend have trust issues and her instincts were right. Though the way she went about it were fruitless. She should have dumped her cheating boyfriend years back and cut off all relations with you. You don't deserve to call her your best friend, you lying cheating slut!!

  • If it's not really a big deal, then go ahead and tell her. And when she gets mad, tell her that it was her parents fault.

  • It still counts even if you were dumb drunk.
    best of luck with the mess you made

  • Oh but it's really discount because you both knew that that was your girlfriend's boyfriend and he knew that he was dating somebody and you knew that he was dating your girlfriend so no matter how high you get or how drunk you yet there's no excuse for it I wonder if you would like me if it happened to you but the worst part is it's called cause and effect because no matter what somebody's going to mess up she's going to find out and you're not going to have a girlfriend anymore he's not going to have a girlfriend anymore so is it a big deal

  • Don't get tempted on any dares. If you didn't mean to ruin their relationship, and still don't mean to, forget what happened that night.

  • I get pretty horny when hi but wtf she literally facetimed y'all to make sure you guys didn't fck. That should've been all you needed to not touch the guy. That's pretty crappy. You should end the friendship

  • You let her apologize to you and feel like crap when you in fact slept with him.
    Pretty gross and I think that it's sad she has someone like you pretending to be her best friend.
    "Is it a big deal?" Ask her and find out.

  • If I were her I would never speak to you again.


    Who needs a friend like you that does that?

    • Wow makes me feel way better thanks.

    • Hun if you can’t handle the heat then don’t ask the question. What did you think people would say?

    • They would be understanding. Humans aren’t perfect.

    • Show All

  • With friends like you who needs enemies. Don't try and use the drink and drugs as an excuse for what you did, its clear you were pissed off with her and did it for that reason.

  • I had the chance to fuck my best friend's girlfriend and I blew it. The girlfriend asked me one day, when her boyfriend was in Canada: "Why have you never made a pass at me"? She called me at my apartment and asked me to come up to his place as she was staying there while he was gone. BTY, HE would have fucked my girlfriend if he had the chance and, as much, said so.
    Don't sweat the small stuff, life is too short. In my 20's I fucked everything I got my hands on, married, single, engaged, you name it.

  • poor excuses

  • Of course it counts! You and her boyfriend may have been drunk and high but you both knew enough to insert penis into vagina. You have only yourself to blame. It's wrong to blame her parents for not allowing sleepovers, and it's wrong to blame her because she was drunk and high too. I'm not sure why she felt teh need to apologize, but that's much better than your blaming everyone else for what you did.

    Tell her what you did, apologize profusely, and hope she forgives you. She may already know anyway... her boyfriend may have told her.

  • Definitely counts still and makes you trash. You can only lie to yourself for so long.

  • She was obviously right not to trust you and it's wrong that you try to blame her parents for what happened. What happened was exclusively the fault of the two people involved; you and him. You don't get to blame others or blame the alcohol and drugs you willing consumed. Being an adult requires you to take responsibility for the bad things that you have done and making excuses or scapegoating others is the opposite of that

  • It counts. It doesn't matter that you were drunk. Of course it's a big deal. If I knew it happened right afterwards, I'd be more forgiving in my relationship. The longer a partner hides it, the worse my reaction would be.

  • Ask your best friend this

  • first off it is your fault and his no one made you do you decided to do you decided to get drunk and high take responsibility instead of coming up with reasons to not make yourself responsible or feel guilty no one's fault but yours grow up and take it like an adult

  • Oh geese

  • She is not your best friend, some people don't even do this to their worst enemy and she is right to have trust issues. You must either be jealous or hate her that much.

    Drunk you is a more honest version of you so you really wanted it. It takes very conscious effort to take your clothes off and have intercourse until one of you cums. If you were super drunk, you wouldn't even have made the effort to even kiss or touch him

    You need to plan an exit to cut both of them out of your life. If anyone finds out even a hint without proof, it's going to end very bad especially after two years and you will be seen as an evil whore to anyone who knows. Do not blame parents or alcohol because neither forced you to take your panties off or forced him in you

    If your future husband gives you a disease from cheating with a hooker, then you cannot get mad and must accept the karma because he would be the perfect match for you. This is why it is advised to never date a cheerleader or dancer because herpes and unplanned kids ruin lives. They're only good for one night stands like the one you had

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Home >  Sexual Relationships  > Is it really a big deal if I slept with my best friend’s boyfriend but it doesn’t really count because we were too drunk and high?