Is it worth saving virginity until marriage?

[Anonymous]

I am 25 virgin and always horny. I hate men in my country, so should I wait until I immigrate? I want to get married and have visa😈 is it important or not much? Cause saving virginity was so hard and feels like someone should pay me 10k dollars as reward💀 I’m scary that I would be disappointed after marriage or will be disappointed to not saving cause it will not worth it. If i started doing at 20 maybe it will not be big deal. But waiting so long to be disappointed at the end💀 and I’m 100% my future partner will not be virgin. And I’m actually not sure will I ever get married💀

[BCRanger10]

If I may ask, where do you live and what are your reasons for waiting? And for the record, I'm a big proponent of waiting until marriage.

My wife and I waited and it was the best decision we could have made. I get that you're worried about being "disappointed", but there are a couple of things that you should consider. First, quite simply, if neither you nor your husband have had previous sexual partners, then you have no one to compare them too and that is a GOOD THING! You're not longing for, thinking about, or comparing him to anyone else, nor he to you. It's just you and your husband dedicating each dedicating and giving your whole selves to the other.

Second, following from that, if you reflect on what sex truly is and what it is ordered towards, then you ought to realize that it's less about the act itself and more the person with whom you are being intimate. If you truly love the other person and engage with them in that exclusive bond of marriage, then the idea of being disappointed is hogwash, anathema. As such, I'll recommend that you adjust your expectations accordingly.

To expand on that as well, you also have to consider that the objective purpose of sex is to procreate. Your children will learn more about life, love, and the human experience from you and your husband than anyone or anything else. They should understand then that they were conceived and raised by the selfless and fruitful love of their mother and father.

All that said, also be realistic. We live in a society and age in which most people (men in particular, it seems) will have had previous sexual partners before marriage. You should make you intentions and desires clear to a prospective suitor. Better to filter a man out now than each of you string the other along for several months. The right man will understand and embrace what you want if it's this important to you.

[Asker]

Well, I don’t think I will ever meet virgin men. It doesn’t make difference for me if he’s good person and will truly like me. If I have been dated someone for a long period and will be 100% that I like him and will marry I would wait. But I have nobody in my life. And in my country I consider as old, and I actually don’t like men in my country. But don’t have opportunity to move at the moment and don’t know when I will have that opportunity.

[BCRanger10]

It's quite possible, but not absolutely certain. Where are you from and why are you waiting? Is it for religious reasons?

[Asker]

In my country people treat women as item. Everyone wants “new and not used” girls. And I scare to become pregnant. And I also have low self esteem, if men will disappear after sleeping with me I would feel like trash. But I had person I liked, he didn’t like me back and I felt l put much more afford just to talk with him. So nothing happened. Maybe if he liked me too, something will happen. At the moment I don’t have any hope in dating inside my country

[BCRanger10]

What country do you live in?

[Asker]

Kazakhstan😭 Asian who speak Russian. Why do you need this info?

[BCRanger10]

Kazakhstan, you say? You know, there's a very strong Catholic population there. There's a bishop there, Athanasius Schneider, who is very well loved and respected by many traditional Catholics (such as myself). Are you a Muslim?

[Asker]

Well I just don’t eat pork but I can’t say I am religious person

[BCRanger10]

I see. But are you at least Muslim in name? Do you tell people you are one if asked? It sounds to me like you're waiting for marriage more out of confidence issues than making an actual and conscious commitment to it. That's better than not waiting if you ask me, but I think you should truly re-evaluate yourself. You seem to be taking a "whatever I can get" approach, which is not healthy for you, emotionally or spiritually. That will open you up more to manipulation and disappointment than anything else.

[lightbulb27]

Everyone is different. I waited til lot older than you.

Worth it? I missed out on experience ealier in life, but what consequences did I also avoid?

Quite a few friends of mine that were active early suffered in early relationships as did the women. Surprise offspring, breakups, followed by stress. ya don't want that... what you want is a good, secure, long term relationship. You also don't want used and you really need a partner... for it's better if someone cares about you and is not selfish.

I think the real goal should be to find serious relationship then you decide. And yes, there are guys whom are virgins and value you for that, some will fully reject you if not (a minority), etc. It's a lot more about how you carry yourself (what you say without saying words) and confidence. Focus on that.

what country is so awful for men?

[Asker]

Kazakhstan💀 well it’s Central Asia, I look like Chinese or Japanese and speak Russian lol. About men’s virginity let’s be fr it’s quiet impossible to meet virgin one who’s my age or older and it’s not my target. It’s enough if he’s good person who can truly love

[PBandJ_Nerd]

It's all about you and how you feel about your own virginity. I know I'm pretty much like you and stuck in whether I'll decide to wait until marriage or not. But I think a long-term partner might help make that decision a bit easier. But whether there's marriage or not, valuing love in a romantic relationship is very important, especially in committed and long-term ones. But for sexual, a few things I keep in mind is this: Make them get tested for STDs & STIs if they've been sexual, talk about sexualness like any kinks, fetishes, etc. to see if you're both on the same page. This is especially important if you do decide to wait until marriage, since you wouldn't want to find out later that you don't line up in the bedroom and become disappointed. But take everything slow and don't rush the relationship. Otherwise, you might miss some of the most exciting, romantic, simple, and intimate moments of it. As well as the spark of it. Also, there are some men out there around your age that are virgins too, they're just more secretive about it.

[CrabCakes11]

Have you tried masturbating or using sex toys? That might help with relieving sexual urges without having a partner. If you want to have sex, have sex. It you want to wait, wait. That’s not a decision anybody else can make for you.

[HelpfulWoman]

if you want to save it for marriage. then do so.
but trashy sounds more like your style like using someone for a visa. icks

[integrale77]

I didn't save till my marriage but that was my choice I didn't regret it.

I'd say go with what makes you feel happy.

Like it's been said saving it till marriage do you really want to find out if your sexually compatible by waiting?

[Berethor]

Hos are not wife material, yea you deserve a reward, virgin girls are pretty rare nowadays.

https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Nature_Adores_a_Virgin

[Paul_in_Indy]

It is, absolutely, worth it

[dustybiker2]

And find out you are incompatible? No.

[2log10x]

I wouldn't wait until marriage, but you could wait until you're in a committed relationship with someone you're falling in love with. Problem is, sex compatibility is very important for a lot of people. I couldn't date someone if they didn't want to have sex within the first month or so. I also wouldn't trust myself not to find it elsewhere if they weren't satisfying me... unless it was for a good reason like health issue etc. Don't underestimate how important sex is to men and satisfying their needs.

[Cheapskate]

Honestly, sex is overrated. It feels good in the moment, but then it is over. My avice, no matter if it is your first time or your 100th time, have safe sex (condom or both get tested, and somebody you trust 100%). It is not worth it to get an STD.

Apart from that, just make sure to find a guy you really want to have sex with, and a good guy, instead of just some random guy.

I don't understand why you don't like all the men in your country, there must be some good ones?

I would not romanticize the idea of immigrating and finding a foreign guy, men are pretty much the same everywhere, I think. Some suck, others don't.

[Asker]

Well I’m want to live in better place, it’s first reason why i would choose foreign men. I am just little delusional. Because of saving virginity was so hard It feels like someone immediately marry me as reward🤩 but I guess men actually not care that much about virginity. I think they just like pretty young women. And it feels like nobody date without sex nowadays 😭

[Cheapskate]

I understand. But check out the place first before you move there. Because you never know if it is actually better. And check out the guy first too, is he a good guy? Can you trust him? You don't have to have sex immediately. You can wait.

[strateguy632]

definitely wait

[Summeroflove]

It’s worth it. But it’s your choice. Id you’re a Christian. You should pray and repent of your lust. Nobody is perfect. But expect a man with the same values as you. Men (and women) who sleep around are more likely to cheat and everything else

[firenine909]

Where are you from?

[Asker]

Kazakhstan 💀

[firenine909]

How that head game at?

[Asker]

What?

[firenine909]

It’s a joke, dm me

[Dargil]

It is, if you and your partner value it.

[Asker]

I don’t care about men’s virginity. It’s impossible to meet virgin men my age or older. But if I will have opportunity to get married and have visa😈 i will try to save it, but will someone even date me without sex nowadays😭

[Dargil]

That's the choice you make.

[laly520]

in my opinion totally worth it

no regrets

[Asker]

Well until I immigrate and meet someone I don't know how much time will pass. I guess I’m going to be 30 years old virgin 😭

[laly520]

u sound unhappy n unconvinced by concept of virginity so I dont see why u wanna keep it?

[Asker]

Well if I will be sure that I will meet my person in few years, no problem. But I can’t even say will ever get married😭 so I scare to disappointed in both ways, from waiting too long, or regret that I didn’t wait

[ChicoFromThe305]

The choice is yours I guess

[exitseven]

I dated somebody for 4 years that was saving it for when we got married. I ended up breaking up with her. I would never do this again.

[Becky316]

I waited to take in him inside my vagina but we played in many other ways before that

[Dou1994]

As a man who lost his virginity…Wait abeg.

[KostasKouvalis]

That's a complicated issue. I think sex is a very important part of any relationship, so ideally, I would want to know how my future wife is in bed before making that kind of commitment. At the same time, if you do end up doing a test run and he doesn't meet your expectations and you decide to leave him simply because of bad sex, it would have all been for nothing.

At the very least I think you should find out about his kinks and sex drive, and share yours too, to see if you will be sexually compatible before making that kind of commitment.

However if you really want to have sex, and marriage seems unfeasible right now, my suggestion would be to just do it with a male friend that you're close with. I feel doing it with a friend wouldn't be as sleazy and you wouldn't feel as guilty then if you just hooked up with a stranger

[jahaims]

Depends on your morals, values and goals.

[Twalli]

It's your choice. I won't marry a virgin, insofar as she'll have to be in a sexual relationship with me before I would even propose. That doesn't mean that she can't be a virgin when we meet though.

[onedarkcloud]

Some men no matter where they are asshole and not worthy of the gift you have. some men are caring gentle, understanding of the gift you would give them. That said there comes a time to just have sex with the best person you have found because no matter where you go you might not meet the wonderful man you dream of. This is one of life's dilemma just take small steps with whatever you want to do.