Sexual Relationships
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It's not that women have a higher sex drive. It's that men aren't letting us finish.

It's not that women have a higher sex drive. It's that men aren't letting us finish.

I'm expanding on this a bit from a comment I heard Louis C.K. make that applies to questions I've seen some men ask here. Louis C.K. pointed out to men who are like, "Why won't she leave me alone after I cum?" that it is because she wasn't satisfied yet. He said, "Trust me if she is she will leave you alone".

I really appreciated this because it was so true and not something I even thought about. A lot of men don't expect women to have an orgasm, some think most women can't and are fine with that. Sometimes the women fakes it so that is no fault on the man. And hey, most women don't expect to have an orgasm everytime. But if we aren't laying beside you motionless unable to speak then want round two it is probably because we aren't done.

It isn't a bad thing, not at all. It means we want you and want more of you. For women having an orgasm is mental so if you weren't completely the thing that turned us on we would roll over and go to sleep. But you are and we want you and bringing a women to orgasm truly builds an emotion bond, it releases oxytocin bonding us to you whether we like it or not. It's kind of like what Eddie Murphy says in his stand up from the 80's, once he hears his womam orgasm he knows, "I've got this motherfucker now!".

So maybe look at it that way but if nothing else... don't blame your woman if she is all up on you the next time YOU finish sex. Best.

2 1

Most Helpful Girl

  • YES! YES, YES, YES YES!
    I've never had a vaginal orgasm. I might have once, but I'm not sure. But, before he cums I expect him to spend some time on me and make me cum by rubbing me, or at least positioning himself in positions that will hit my clit as he thrusts. Not because I'm selfish, but because after he cums, he's all out of energy. That's why I come first, then I'll let him finish.
    But with my guy, I never get to cum. I never get the feeling that we've got all night to do this. I always feel rushed because he's so eager, and so I never feel relaxed enough to actually cum. That's why I fight to be on top. He thinks I like to be dominant. I don't. I just like to be on top so I can give my spot some action lol

    • Communication is very important, here, then. And you need to figure out what works for you, and use that to help him along the way.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Can't believe this still has to be said in 2015. Don't let them rest until you had your cookie ladies ! :-)

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • There's actually a biological reason for this.

    Notice how guys have a very intense desire for a short period then completely lose all interest the moment they've finished?

    Notice how women can have multiple orgasms, take longer to climax, and can keep climaxing? Notice how women make all the noise?

    According to anthropoligists and psychologists I follow, this is because sex for most of human history was very polyamorous. Not polygyny, where few men sleep with many women, but polyamorous (or "polysexual" as some prefer) where multiple women slept with multiple men.

    Uncomfortable as it may make some of you, evidence mounts up that women would actually sleep with many men, just like men would sleep with many women. Among other anatomical evidence, the one most relevant clue to this post is the fact that a man must extend his sexual activity to *maybe* match how long it takes for a girl to get started, implying that one man isn't enough to do the job.

    They say the two main benefits of this were that it reduced male competition and encouraged cooperation, which is also hinted at with the massive tranquilizers men release when they finish. Another is that it encourages sperm competition, which would have constituted the majority of selection.

    So anyway, the point being, it's not that a man "isn't -letting- you climax", is that a man really has to go above and beyond to get her there. Yet another reason Viagra sells so well, because men are regularly told it is our incompetence. So you should consider that when a man is having problems. Keep in mind, in most of more recent history, women didn't climax at all, so this isn't a new problem caused by immature men. He has to make up for biology. So communication is key. And lots and lots of foreplay.

    • As a degree-holding biologist who has taken upper-level sociology, your explanation (to be blunt) is crap. Your attempts to use reproductive sociology as justification for events that occur in primarily patriarchal human societal structure is a literal fallacy from Lesson 1 in 100-level sociology classes: Sociology and Psychology are 2 separate fields. Never use biological motivation as an explanation for conscious (ethical) decisions made just because the 2 are similar. I know people who failed out of sociology because they thought like this & couldn't get their heads past the idea that mixing 2 (or more) fields was a fallacy.

    • I figured I would get a lot of flak for this one.

      Here is one of the folks I've referenced for this stuff. https://goo.gl/uyq12i

    • But hey, you can sit and believe men are just consistently incompetent and lazy, or you can accept how much longer it takes for a woman to get warmed up compared to a man, and understand that it isn't easy.

    • Show All

  • Well, I wouldn't relate so much, because my boyfriend gives me as much orgasms as I need and THEN he cums, but yes sometimes even though so, I just get turned on again one hour later or two, and that's not that I wasn't satisfied but I may say I'm really needy in bed, and It's because I like him so much yes you're right about that, but I don't think he gets annoyed even if he says he can't go for another round , he knows I'll understand and he'll pay me back the next time
    but I really don't think it's any problem, it depends on the guy and on the nature of the relationship itself

  • Most Womne don't expect to cum during sex... Wtf?

    Expectation and intention are closely entwined. There's something disturbing with these women if they have sex not intending to actually have sex.

    I do not believe it is most Women. Maybe most masochists...

  • I don't know, it depends on the woman. If you're not gunna communicate about how your man is performing, then it's not the guys fault for not finishing. Some people cum faster than others, and it happens. And don't just lay there expecting the man to do all the work. You gotta put some effort, too.

    Maybe it's just me. Like I said, people orgasm either quicker or later. I climax very quick, and my boyfriend likes to make sure he was able to get me off before he can enjoy his turn. I communicate about what I want more off, vocally or such. And then, that's it; I'm able to climax. Plus, my boyfriend takes a bit longer to climax, so it makes it that much of a plus for me to finish faster so he can enjoy the rest of the time.

    It also depends on the guy: does he like making sure the girl is satisfied first or he chooses to orgasm first?

    And it is true about a woman or gaming is in part mental, but if you're just gunna lay there like a rock hoping your man can read your mind and HOPE you orgasm, then you are not honest. Don't fake an orgasm. It's lame and stupid. If you're gunna at least get some, make sure it's done right the first time around instead of having to fake it.

    • It's not the guy's fault for not finishing you off*** typo

    • It's true about women orgasming is in part mental*** another typo wtf

    • Does your guy use fingers?

    • Show All

  • LIES.
    My man ALWAYS makes sure I finish BEFORE he gets his.
    Even on the occasions where he cums first, he still keeps going until I get mine.
    Also, I DO have a higher sex drive than he does...

    • She should have said for some this is true.

    • Does he ever use fingers?

  • Haha, my boyfriend is always pulled into round two and three. In fact, if I don't pull him back in for more (80% of the time) it's because I'm not wound up enough to want more.

    If he's doing something good, I mean really really good, I'll need more and make him give me more.

    And he doesn't complain.

    And I get to have my multiples, he feels like a king, and life is great.

  • Perhaps they should try dating men that are able and willing to make them cum. Instead of the lazy ass who only wants his.

    • And you think you are one of those guys? Doubt it

    • @iamyourneighbor. I know I am. I have proven it to all my exes, I dont need to prove it to random people on the internet.

  • Hahaha Funny and true take. xD

  • omg YES! It's so frustrating when some guys just don't finish the job.

    It's as cruel as when women cause a guy to get blue balls from being so turned on and not finishing the deed.

    We want men to fuck us till we have such an amazing orgasm that we pass out.

  • Since most women do not orgasm through penetration, and most enjoy oral, and I am very oral, I was happy to try to become the best I could at it. So i make sure she has at least 1 orgasm before I finish. This way everyone wins. It has worked out for all but 1 relationship.

  • I'd love to feel finish over and over

  • Mostly yes. Most women are quite satisfied with even one orgasm and very happy with two, or five but occasionally you do find a girl who likes as many as she can get and that can be quite exhausting in the long run.

  • My ex used to be the best. He would literally hold it in until I cum first. If he couldn't hold it in he would stop and uhhhh do something else to keep me going but always made sure I cummed first. It was so romantic :(((((( MOST GUYS won't DO IT THO UGH

  • holy fuck look at all those facebook follows. LOL :P nice one girl.

    • Thanks I'm a bit surprised myself. I got a notification once it hit 100 from GAG that it had gone viral. I was like what? 😋

  • @Someguy17 I understand what you are saying but realistically there is no cure all solution for a woman who has a difficult time reaching orgasm. And for any person who has issues giving themselves an orgasm it's unfair to expect any partner to make you have one

    • Yeah, everyone is different. The things I listed tend to make the incidence of orgasm higher. I dont think I argued for a universal cure all. She didn't expect me to give her an orgasm. As a matter of fact, she was a great partner all around and we had a good sex life. Her lack of orgasm wasn't due to lack of effort on my part, she just wasn't capable. This was something we both accepted, and we still had frequent and enjoyable sex.

  • I think the problem is the woman's choice of sex partner.

    I've heard the complaint a lot from women, say under 25; they complain at how fast their guy is and that he is selfish in bed. A number of women that age decide to find an older man, often married, because he knows what he is doing. They both get what they want.

  • I have only orgasmed during sex once. My boyfriend always cums.. he isn't all that experienced and neither am I but still I wish he took time to make sure I have mine too.

  • I'm just here for the comments

  • I remember the second time with my girl Hannah she was after rnd2 as she would not leave me alone , but she did not last much longer into that until the big o I think she was happy as she screamed , curled her toes up closed her eyes and then while later rolled over and went to sleep.

  • I shudder to think that this is still an issue.

    I make damned sure she's cum her brains out before I finish.

    • Don't lie white knight lol

    • Being a considerate lover is considered white knighting now? Jesus Tittyfucking Christ.

    • @iamyourneighbor Yeah, that's not really white knighting. We have some greedy reasons to get you gals off hard. It leads to more sex and it gives us a nice little ego boost.

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