So say you met someone and they were great. Damn near everything you wanted. But then you discovered that they possess that one damn dealbreaker that you refuse to stick around and put up with. Say it just keeps happening with the last few guys or girls you initially vibed with, but you still refuse to lower your standards. What dealbreaker (s) would that be?
This is inspired by a question I answered earlier about dating people who drink. Its not a dealbreaker but its damn sure a turnoff. Its so common that if i made it a dealbreaker, I’d hardly have options lol.
#FeelFreeToList
#DealBreakers
MY ANSWER—
As for the common dealbreakers I’ve come across with potentials...
—Those who smoke/sniff/snort/eat (weed, tobacco, edibles, and any sort of drug included)
—Those who drink TOO OFTEN (daily/weekly/monthly is too much for me to tolerate)
—Those who do not want kids until they are mid 30s/40s
—Those expecting sex early on like within the first few months (I do not consider a 1-3 month relationship longterm at all)
—Those out of my age range (5+ years older or younger).
—Those into anal sex or rimming.
Those are all just absolute no no hell no’s for me and we shouldn’t waste our time on eachother. I dont think these things make the person a bad person but I do think it makes them a bad fit for someone like myself.
List a common dealbreaker that many of your potential girlfriend/boyfriends had?
Updates:
1 y
Dang i forgot my ABSOLUTE MAIN—If he doesn’t believe in God. PLUS —if he constantly says he's depressed no matter how hard I try to make him happy that day/week. —if he constantly downs himself and thinks im gonna keep feeding him compliments... Nah if you think you’re ugly then spend these next 24 hours being ugly cause you only get 1 compliment a day —If he's anything other than straight —if he’s still friends with his ex. Like good friends and hangin out alone together. I trust him but not her
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What Girls & Guys Said
11 38Anyone into poly relationships. But I've never experienced that, I've only been in one relationship and it's current.
Yea i dont do that poly pocket shit
Lmaooo poly pocket 😂😂 can I use that
Sure i just thought of it haha
I don't have many deal breakers but a few are smoking, doing drugs, if they cheated in the past, if they act rudely and I guess that's it I can't think of anything else now
You would think they wouldn't be dumb enough to admit they cheated in the past
Well of course not I'm saying it if it happens to hear something about her from friends etc.
Oh yea they talk too much lol
My foot fetish
Alcohol. I've met MANY wonderful ladies who checked all of my boxes except that they drink.
Thats what im sayin if i made it a dealbreaker, i would hardly have options 😂 So i can at least accept they drink as long as it isn't daily/weekly/monthly
@DizzyDesii. Yeah, it's a tough call. But part of me is just like "Nah. F 'em. Not worth the risk.". Like, how do I know if they really are just a "casual drinker" or if that's just an excuse or an alibi, or if they're in denial? And what does casual really mean anyway?
Not a casual drinker but a social drinker which means anytime they go to parties and events. Even thats too much for me. My ex only did it once a month, two months a year. Thats tolerable although i whined a lot
See, no offense but I just think that's total bullshit. Because then people will just be going to parties for an excuse to drink.
Lmao exactly 🤣 But his wasn't social drinking. He just wanted to drink on bdays or when his sis had a sleepover with their other sis. So it was always a twice a year thing. Oh and then he went to Cuba and smoked cigars and i cried a lot and he got even more turned off. Sorry but i got emotional because he was always against smoking ANYTHING but suddenly you want to try cigars because you’re on a cruise? And then next, he always bashed weed as did I. But then he started befriending a pothead coworker and suddenly wanted to try. He didn't but kept thinking in it. He was one indecisive mf who always was easily influenced to go against his word and thats what ruined us. More examples, he wanted kids then didn't. He wanted to save for a car but then spent it on a cruise. He wanted us to move to Texas then he wanted to stay in Ohio. So many more i could go on. I despise him for not being able to keep his word. Words mean everything to me. Actions too but i hold words highly
Oh, wow. I would hate that. I don't think I would be able to live with a person like that. It sounds like he had no direction in life and no self-control.
None whatsoever. He always told me he wouldn't date anyone who had a kid already. After he tried to leave “supposedly pregnant” me hanging, he then said he was tempted to cheat with his coworker after my supposed condition freaked him out. Mind you he wanted kids but all of a sudden “just not yet.” Mind you he also didn't want to be with someone who also had kids yet his coworker did. Also, he told me he was dropping out of college to beocme a youtuber. This was after he spent his half of our rent money on video games and his family cruise. So yea i dodged a bullet with him
Ohh. THAT guy. smh
I think i answered on the wrong post. Im confused lol. But yea im referring to the 2nd 2 year guy. Not the first who took my virginity
No; you answered on the right one. 🙂
I think if they like anal or something way taboo sex it might be a deal breaker. Also if they do some hard drugs and smoke and drink too much be a deal breaker.
Yepp
There were similar questions quite recently and I already said what my dealbreaker was: religiousness.
I tried to date an atheist and i was ok with it at first but then he kept bashing my beliefs so nah. Part of me feels like Religious beliefs should be like political beliefs where you keep them to yourself unless asked. But i pray at any given moment and won't hide my love for the Lord. So i knew the guy and i wouldn't work
I've seen a good meme about this but I can't find it right now. It read something along the line "If you expect me to keep my atheism to myself, I expect you to keep your beliefs to yourself". So, if you keep showing off your religiousness, you can't expect for an atheist to remain quiet.

Personally I stay as far away as possible from religious people bc the most of them are aggressive, their morality is extremely low and if they find out someone doesn't share their delusions, they will kill that person bc in their sick minds "murder in the name of god is not a sin". History is full of stories like this, the most recent is from 2020:
Its not a show off to step aside and pray in a time of need. Before bed i’d say, i’m going to go pray, I’ll be back. Dont fall asleep without me. I’d come back and he’d question why i believe in God. So i kept to myself. He just couldnt handle it
Smoking and drinking a lot
mental illness
overweight
doesn’t do oral
bad hygiene
I never understood my ex cheating on me for not giving oral in HS but in adulthood i can understand why it may be a dealbreaker for some
Yeah that’s odd , so young to be so impatient
I've only had one boyfriend and he had casual sex before dating me. That is a huge dealbreaker for me. I hope I don't find another guy like that.
Yea i lose respect for people who have casual sex. Sure they can do whatever but i won't be dating them
Casual sex before dating? What does this mean. And after sex he officially declared he was in relationship?
Before he was with me he had casual sex with someone.
Okay. I totally misunderstood it. Ahh I get it now. Did he asked for sex after dating you? And do you prefer/like virgin men only?
Yes he did and I don't care about a man's virginity.
But you said a man having casual sex is a huge deal breaker
@eyiphoneuser she prefers he have sex in a relationship with someone and while he's not also trying to get with her
-racists
-religious nuts
-narcissists.
I haven't exactly been hit on by a racist but he did say racially insensitive things. The worst part is when their parents are racist and they still try to get with you. Like no, if you know your parent would not appreciate having a half black kid and you know that you want your parent to be an active grandparent then why are you tryna get with me. We’re wasting everyones time
Can I just meet someone who isn't in need of constant validation? No? Ok. My patience has gotten pretty thin for that kind of thing, takes too much time and effort and it never helps anyway.
I mentioned something similar to someone in the comments. I hate when someone downs themselves and wante you to tell them they’re wrong snd then compliment them. Im not gonna keep playing that game. If you think you’re ugly then be ugly🤣🤣
Exactly, I don't want to act like I give a fuck all the time 😂 Sometimes I don't and I just want a steak and a nap. But then they go all "I knew it", ffs.
I often say “you doing too much” or “i ain't tryna hear all that.” One dude constantly asked if i’d leave him. I said no so much that one day i said yea
Looll, I did that too 😂😂😂
Bad attitude, being a crack head , obese , smells , was a "bad girl" but is now a good girl ( I absolutely hate that) , lies
Damn you met a bunch of crackheads?
Yes I have actually met crack heads.. and I dislike them
I wasn't Attracted to them, Or they already had a Boyfriend.
How were they potential if you werent attracted to them
I don't like being Single, I have been Single pretty much all my life, I am still Single, They were the only Girls who talked to me.
Ohh okay. there's a difference between potential and what you'll settle for. Potential means they meet a lot of things you’re into
Heaps of Girls have Potential but they can't even start a Conversation with me because I'm Shy.
Toxic personality, and boyfriends.
How do you spot toxicity so easily
Not ignoring it at the beginning. I believe in the adage the things that bothered you in the beginning ends up being the things you break up over at the end
When i think back on a lot holy smokes this is true
I am not a fan of alcoholism or other drug addiction
Also infidelity
Not dating
You or them?
I'm not dating
I can agree with these completely. I can go 6 years younger
Nice
Do not like a girl who smokes n a girl who is a ring drinker n cannot last a week without a bottle 🍺
Right
Telling me lies, fake friends, ignoring me and using me for money.
Fake friends? Lmao what
cinnamon
My latest, start talking about marriage after only being together less than 3 weeks.
Lmao i learned quickly not to do that 🤣 but if he brings it up first, i’ll surely go on about it 😂
Yeah, that's like instant break up for most guys.
Thats understandable cause when i hear a 29 year old say he wants to wait 5 years before he marries or have kids, im out anyways lol
Yeah, that's a long commitment before a commitment
@chitownlov I forgot the let's-get-married-after-the-third-date thing. That has happened to me a few times.
@MrtoddsWildRide yikes!!! That's huge red 🚩
Oh yeah. Time to turn and run
@MrtoddsWildRide it can't be any worse than the “I Love You’s” that i’ve gotten anywhere between less than 24 hours and up to 2 weeks
You say I love you within 24 hours? I was a reg at local restaurant, and this waitress told me she loved me. My eyes were huge, and I was like, OK. Time to go. No outside contact with her ever. I stopped sitting at her tables. Lol
No im referring to the guys i started to date until they said I love you in less than 24 hours
Note to self... do not tell @dizzydesii I love you even in a friendly, platonic way ever... Got it No in seriousness, that does sound really messed up
@MrtoddsWildRide lol i prefer to hear it within the first 1-3 months depending on how strong the bond is. But the first week or less than a day? Nah
Oh. Thats a red flag too when a guy says that
Right. My standard for that would be to ask myself if I would need more than a year to get over them if I lost them. If the answer is no I am not going to call it love
@MrtoddsWildRide i love hard but if you die you die. Ima miss you but i meeeeean 🤷♀️
I am the absolute worst a dealing with loss so for me the timeline kinda stretches out.