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My 5 'rules' of advice on losing your virginity

My 5 'rules' of advice on losing your virginity

I know everyone has a varied opinion on this. This is the advice I give anyone that asks and it is the same thing a I plan on telling my kids. Wait.

Waiting doesn't need to mean waiting until marriage.

1. Wait for the right person.

2. Wait until you are 18.

3. Wait until you are out of high school.

4. Wait until you have been in a relationship for about 6 months.

5. Wait until you are 100% sure you won't regret it in the morning.

All through high school I preached to my friends about waiting for marriage and how sex was sacred and should be kept for husband and wife only. I was wrong. Sex is fun, and enjoyable, and healthy. If both parties are ready and prepared.

Now eventually after all that preaching I met my boyfriend. He was a couple years older and more experienced, but I stood by my beliefs. But then we made out a few times, and then I let him get to second base, and next thing I knew we were at third base and heading for home. I loved him. I knew that. But I still wasn't 100% sure, I still I had a feeling I would wake up in the morning and regret it. So I waited. And when I realized I would no longer regret it, that is when we finally went for it.

Waiting does nothing but make the experience more enjoyable. When it's not a hurried experience in the back of a car, when you aren't worried about your parents finding out, when you are prepared (physically, mentally, and emotionally), and doing it with someone you love, the experience is amazing.

Waiting is worth it.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah, I disagree with every word you wrote. You will raise your children to be just as imbecilic as today's society is, in my opinion. Things don't have an intrinsic value on their own. We give everything the meaning and importance it has. Just like telling your children to accumulate as much money as possible because it will define their value in this world and gain them the respect of others is wrong and stupid, telling them their virginity (or sex) is a big deal is not any different.

    Rule #1: What the fuck does the 'right' person mean? It is subjective and the right person today may not be the right person tomorrow.

    Rule #2: You do realize that 18 is not the legal age in many places in the world? Nowadays, kids can learn about sex (in detail) at much younger ages, thanks to the Internet. So, stop comparing yourself to them. When I was young, seeing a picture of a woman's breasts was an accomplishment, whereas, today, kids can watch hardcore stuff all over the Internet. It is called evolution and the older you become, the less qualified you are to make the rules.

    Rule #3: I don't see how HS interferes with sexuality. I lost mine in HS, and was an A student, got an engineering degree, and doing my Master's now. In my opinion, high school is a waste of humans lives and is completely useless, so you might as well spend that wasted time exploring your sexuality.

    Rule #4: This is the female mindset on sex, unfortunately. Sex is a gift you give to certain people. The man has to prove he is perfect and worthy of your body and blah blah. I doubt women will become effective in society while having such a mentality. Please don't take this as an attack on women! I am not mocking, I just hope women would change that outdated fucked-up perspective on sex and realize that it is a great thing for them to explore and the more they do it, the more they will learn how to enjoy it.

    Rule #5: Regret what exactly? What is the privilege in remaining a virgin? You think it makes you pure or something? Why should the first or second or anytime be special? This is also extremely childish and indicates how uptight and narrow-minded the person is.

    Stop telling us about life and defining to us what's appropriate. These rules and other rules are just a bunch of useless nonsense people created to complicate their lives and make themselves feel better. The result is an uneducated, reserved and unproductive society where everyone is unable to talk or communicate properly.

    1/5

    • I want to raise my children in a way that they don't treat sex casually. I dont want them to fear it but respect it and the emotions that come with it. I want my children to be able to openly talk to me about sex without fear if me freaking out, but still hopefully take my advice and wait. In response to each individual rule you can just read my comments on godfatherfan's opinion. I said the are 'rules' of advice, I dont expect people to follow every single one. I just want people to stop and think before they make the decision. You need to be emotionally ready for something like that. I just want it to make people think before they act.

    • "In my opinion, high school is a waste of humans lives and is completely useless, so you might as well spend that wasted time exploring your sexuality" #Agreed "Stop telling us about life and defining to us what's appropriate. These rules and other rules are just a bunch of useless nonsense people created to complicate their lives and make themselves feel better. The result is an uneducated, reserved and unproductive society where everyone is unable to talk or communicate properly. " = You're on #fire best post on this take this far ^_^

    • "I want to raise my children in a way that they don't treat sex casually." I am sorry but you won't. Sex IS seen as a casual sex by many (including me) and that will only become more and more prevalent, simply because there IS nothing wrong with that view. There's no need to value sex so highly. Furthermore, you can't raise them in a mold. Just because you raise children a certain way, doesn't mean they will follow it. I'm not going to try to raise my children to believe specific things because I know that that's just going to push them way from me and frankly, I just think it's wrong and oppressive to force beliefs on your children. Let them be free thinkers.

Most Helpful Girl

  • How come there are so many people in the g@g community that hate people who want to wait until they are ready? Men and women are different so it's logical both have different opinions on how the first time should be and what it means to them.

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 21

  • Sex is a big reason why people, especially women, go back to an ex who treated them poorly. Doesn't matter how bad or unfulfilling the relationship was, they go back because they "feel he's the one". Sex had a powerful effect on your emotional attachment to someone, and while it certainly isn't the only reason people go back to an ex they weren't happy with, it's definitely a big reason they do.

    • Great opinion :)

  • 1.) Fair enough, I wouldn't have wanted to lose my virginity to some random person and regretting it the next day.

    2.) This is where my opinion differs. People mature at different stages, some at 14, others at 22. I'd suggest checking the age of consent in your country, that may be a better idea than having the world wide '18'. In Ireland, it's 17 and I'm sure it's different in other countries.

    3.) This rule contradicts the 2nd. Some people may finish high school when they're 16-17, others at 19. So stick with one, either waiting until you're 18 or waiting 'til you're out of high school. Though I prefer this one. You no longer live with your parents who wouldn't have to be the ones looking after your possible child if you were to have sex before graduating.

    4.) Again, a time set. I call this one bs and let me explain why. Half a year is a stretch for a lot of people. There are relationships that have started off as friendships years ago. In that case, they can just bang on the first night 'cause they already know each other and have the required trust.

    5.) I'd rephrase that, saying 'Wait until you're ready'. You can never be too sure. You may love the person and trust them but the next morning you may feel like it wasn't the right time, place, situation, etc.

    That's just my opinion on it, I'm sure everyone has different standards about losing the v card. At the end of the day, it's just an action all mammals do, whether it be for reproduction or pleasure.

  • I only sleep with people I am dating and I still would never wait 6 months... I also see no reason to wait for a certain age or to be done with high school. I have known 16 year old's be more mature than 20 year olds.

    • People shouldn't be having sex at 14. :/

    • I admit many are not mature enough for the responsibility that follow, but that doesn't mean we can just take away the rights of 14 year old's to have sex.. just help them beware of all the risks and dangers involved. but that is me. @Bards

    • They should be taken away by the parents. Kids that go around having sex at the age is because the parents are irresponsible usually. They are under the parents control. They dont have their own place or pay bills or anything They aren't physically mature and more importantly not mentally. I get freedom and rights but there's a line that doesn't need to be crossed

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  • I didn't follow rule #4 :/ But still happy because I followed rule #5 which is most important.

  • Waiting is noted... perfect for all those dumbs 😂 try to learn some good stuff... keep it up 👍

  • Well everyone feels different. Women are way more in the "rose colored glasses" view of what 1st time should be.
    as far as i feel...
    1) waiting for the right person? not sure what means. If your dating anyone more then 3 dates they should be "the right person" to that point.
    .
    2) Well for guys sometimes we don't have an option on that part. Women completely control sex in the beginning of a relationship. It evens out eventually but not until your having sex regularly. I feel 16 is ok. before that they really are not emotionally ready. most are not at 16 either but 16 is ok. Unfortunately I was 19.
    .
    3) I don't see any reason for that.
    .
    4) You should never put a timeframe on it. You should do it when it feels right. That might be the 1st date, that might be much later. This ONLY applies when your really young. As an adult sex is considered "on the table" starting with the 3rd date. If you hit the 7th and nothing has happened, it is not likely it is going to.
    .
    5) find someone you feel is ok. The problem with your statement in number 5 is that women are so freaking emotional, esp with sex. You women tend to regret all kinds of things for no reason. so if your doing great, then a week later, month later, year later, you break up, you can't go back and say "I regret that".
    ...
    also, all your 5 points only pertain to women. Guys never regret having sex unless they are stupid and wind up getting her pregnant or get an std.

    • 1. Wait until you are 100% comfortable with a person, wait until you care about each other, do it with someone you have feelings for not someone you met for a one night stand. Girls tend to be a lot more uncomfortable with losing their virginity than guys. 2. I said 18 because at that point people seem to have a better understanding of right and wrong and have better control over their emotions. They are also legal adults. 3. I said out of high school because once you are out of high school chances are you will be more comfortable with things like comdoms and birth control and hopefully a little more responsible. You also generally have more freedom which makes finding a time and place easier and more enjoyable.

    • 4. This kind of goes back to number 1 waiting for the right person. If you are with someone for 6 months you have a better understanding of who they are and who you are together. But this was strictly pertaining to someone's first time. 5. Plays off of #4 the longer you are with someone and the longer you think about it the less chance there is that you will regret it. I know I dont and I know feelings can change.

  • Good rules to stand by but i don't think they're all necessary for a pleasant first time. 5 though, that rule is a must! If you are not ready, you really should not do it, regret is not fun but if you're ready, go for it!

  • Only the young and sexually inexperienced put any life significance to the border between virginity and it's end. As if ignorance of what it is like has some kind of intrinsic value. It does not. When you've moved beyond your teens you will understand how ridiculous this topic really is.

    • For some people the subject matters, the idea is important, no matter the age. But everyone is different.

    • Yes, and those "some people" are the young sexually inexperienced who lack perspective.

  • 1. The right person for me was the girl who spread her legs the quickest
    2. Waited until I was 15, and I have no regrets.
    3. Smashed the girl in her bedroom while her Grandpa was sleeping, still in HS
    4. Waited a year but not by choice
    5. I'd never regret sex.

    Apart from teen pregnancy I don't get what the huge gripe is about sex at a young age. All these people preaching to wait for the right guy and wait until you're in love seem to only base those feelings around religion/some romanticisation of relationships. I lost mine at 15 with my girlfriend and I don't see how either her or I were damaged by it.

  • Good take. Agreed on all points

  • I think people should just do it when the moment feels right. No need to overthink it. If you regret it then so what? Learn from it and move on like anything else

    • Personally that wasn't an option for me. I grew up super catholic and while I dont agree that you should wait until marriage I also dont think sex should be taken lightly. While I realize not everyone is going to check these off the list before doing it hopefully it will make someone pause and think about whether or not they really want to do it. I dont think sex should be treated casually but it shouldn't be considered a 'bad' thing. It should be respected.

    • Suppose you waited 6 months for a guy and then had sex with him. But then a week later everything goes tits up and you break up. You wasted 6 months of your life only to regret it anyway. Life is too short.

    • That's the point of waiting. I waited until I was sure I wasn't going to regret it in the morning and I still dont.

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  • While I am pretty much agaisnt sex before marriage I will say this, this was one of the more responsible and better my takes on the subject, and if you do it, I would say meeting the 5 steps you mentioned are a good idea, I agree with what you've said on the subject.

  • Greeeeat take! Advice already taken and noted years agooo. 🏆

  • Lol all your rules for losing it are about waiting.

    • And 6 MONTHS! The fuck I'm gonna wait half a year for anyone.

    • Like I said, everyone is different, my boyfriend waited for me.

    • Patient guy. Does he go fishing too?

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  • I find this take strangely agreeable.

  • 6 months!!!
    Damn that's long, I'd say 2 months is fair

    • I'm saying for a girls first time. But its different for everyone, it just depends on how you feel about the person.

  • I love this, you really do seem like a strong woman who goes against the crowd.
    I'm seriously impressed, not many ladies like you left.

  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fP8FMdVcCQQ

  • I agree with this. I'm going by pretty much the same set of rules.

  • i'd like to add a cavat on 4. If both people want a friends with benefits then its fine, but not ONS for loosing virginity

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