Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I have been raped 4 times: when I was 18, 19, 20, and 21. I knew all four of my rapists, dated 2 of them. It has been a secret I have kept throughout the years as I come from a very religious family and had always gone to a private school where any kind of sexual behavior is looked down upon. With that being said, I could never tell my family or friends about the first time it happened..or the second...or the third...or the fourth. You, dear reader, may judge me and say it was my fault that it happened to me and that I deserved it. I'm sorry to inform you but you do not know the truth so I will enlighten you. I have grown strong enough to share with the world about my experiences to show being sexually assaulted is usually from someone you know and trusted. WARNING: The follow content contains explicit imagery. Do not read if you will be offended.
When I was 18, I went with my friend to his uncle's house 2.5 hours from mine. It was New Year's Eve and his whole family was gathering. I had known him for years and we were good friends. He wanted more but I told him I wasn't ready for a relationship and he said he respected it. We talked about anything and everything under the sun. Anyways, the party was a lot of fun and afterwards we went back to his parent's house with his sisters. We watched movies in the basement and played card games. It was 2am when his family decided to go to bed. The friend and I were going to watch one more movie. During the movie, he kissed me out of the blue. I didn't like it and he got mad. He proceeded to pick me up, carry me into the room he was staying in in the basement, undress me, take pictures, and steal my virginity. He had a wild look in his eyes and he was bigger than me so I couldn't stop him. I cried but he stuffed my panties in my mouth. After he finished in me, he took pictures of his "masterpiece". He then forced me to clean him up taking more pictures. On the drive back, he pulled off to the side of the road multiple times to satisfy himself. There was no one to help me.
At 19, I dated this guy who seemed sweet. He was religious like me and my family liked him. One day he said a bunch of friends were meeting at his parent's cabin to just hangout. I was excited since the cabin had a prime spot on the lake. He picked me up and we went to the cabin. As you can assume, there was no friends to meet us. There never was. He raped me in the cabin. Even if I did cry, no one would have heard me since the cabin was pretty secluded. He finished in me and then forced me to blow him til he came in my mouth as well. Just like the first, on the ride back, he stopped multiple times to use me to his liking.
The 3rd rapist was a friend of mine who had the same major as me and we were study buddies. I went to his house often as he was a commuter and I would usually stay for dinner. His family was sweet and I loved his dog. The one study time, we took a break and was helping his mom make some lunch. His mom got a call to the hospital and left us to finish lunch by ourselves which is no biggie. However, my friend had other ideas. He picked me up and threw me on the couch. He fingered me roughly making me cry. He thought I liked it. He removed my clothes and thrusted deep right away. I squealed and his dog came running in, barking. He picked me up (still in me) and carried me to his room, locking the dog out. He threw me on the bed and positioned me how he wanted me. He was a very tall and muscular guy and I couldn't have stopped him if I wanted to. I could only cry silent tears. As he thrusted, he put a hand around my throat and choked me so I was on the edge of blacking out. When he was done with that, he flipped me over and held me down as he forced me to deep throat him. i couldn't breathe but he didn't care. He finished in my mouth and didn't leave until I swallowed it all. I gasped for air when he was done and he just laughed. He assaulted me 3 more times that day, laughing and saying i enjoyed it.
The 4th rapist was actually my current boyfriend. We dated for 8 months and he respected my wishes to not get super intimate. One night he caved. We were watching Netflix at his apartment after a long day at the beach when he started getting handsy. I squirmed and he told me to relax. I told him no but it made him upset. He pulled me off the couch and pushed me into his bedroom. He shoved me onto the bed and proceeded to finger me roughly. My cry only egged him on. He took off my clothes quickly and slipped inside me. He whispered in my ear how tight I was and how I liked it. I whimpered "no, no, no" over and over again. He flipped me over for doggy and after awhile he pulled out. He then forced himself in my mouth and made me swallow his load. I was praying he was done but I was wrong. After some bites on my neck, he started to play with my anus. I told him that was a definite no but he told me he was going to have all of me and I was going to like it. He penetrated me anally. I tried to move away but it only hurt more so I stayed still. I cried myself to sleep that night.
My family and closer girl friends never understood why all of a sudden I stopped talking to these guys. They don't know that even though years have passed, I still have nightmares of these instances. They don't know this secret of mine.They don't know I have been wary of guys and their intentions ever since. No one knows. But now you do. This topic is not easy to talk about and just as hard to admit it ever happened (trust me I know). But now I share it with you so you can be aware of the realness of rape and other forms of sexual assault. A great weight has been lifted sharing this and while it will not erase what has happened, confessing this dark secret has made me realize I am now strong enough to confront it and help those who may have gone through the same thing. Being sexually assaulted is not always done by a random stranger but more often a trusted friend. It is real and it can cause many unseen scars that will never fully heal.
What Girls & Guys Said
32 55This read more like a Dear Penthouse letter than a rape account.
To bad this happened to you. If you want to talk about it PM me.
Get a permanent high paid job out of him..
Damn, I couldn't even finish reading all of it, the first one was tragic enough. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
there's something about this story that seems a little bit off...
Is the part where they always have their way with her , then make her suck them and cum in her mouth , and then fuck her again on the drive home? Becausr that could be it😂😂😂
@lord_chilled hahaha maybe... watch out for these type of girls!!
Yeah , definitely
What do you mean by 'your current boyfriend?' are you still with this asshole? This is super fucked up... I'm sorry you had to go through that, I just hope that you come out of this with a fighting spirit. If I were you, I would carry pepper spray and a taser wherever I go, I would also be willing to shove my fingers in his eyes and bite his dick clean off and take the beating that comes afterwards if it means not being raped. If you bite his dick hard enough, he will not be able to use it, at least not anytime soon. Really though, threats are the best, you need strong friends. Like an older brother or cousin or dad or uncle that can kick the shit out of anyone who tries this stuff. If you were friends with me and a guy did this... you don't wanna know the hell that would descend upon him. Pistol whip that son of a bitch in the face and take a few teeth to boot, let him know that if he ever tries anything, he'll die in his sleep.
Why is he still your boyfriend?
you would think after the first experience she would be a bit more careful.
You met assholes.
Next: all men are rapists. Sure.
What's your country?
Nice story.
You should write some stuff.
You're an actor in writing. You can convince people.
But women like you are most likely to frame fake rape charges against men due to the fact that you can make it look so real.
But like, how many time did you rape others?
You know, I was actually feeling pretty bad for you up until I got to this:
"The fourth rapist was actually my current boyfriend."
Phew.. for a second there, I was afraid someone here might actually manage to earn my genuine sympathy. You had me a little worried, chickiepoo.
Better luck next time. I have a feeling that 4 is gonna become 5 real soon. 😂
I don't get it. Rape does happen if your'e in a relationship. If one party does not consent and its forced on them, its rape, plain and simple.
Women are fucked up beyond measure. Fuck a prostitute with a condom and you can relax afterwards knowing you won't be charged with fake rape charges, defamation suit, social embarrassing situation, drama, etc etc
@MrNameless You misunderstand my point. Rape within a relationship is still rape. But when you continue to stand by the person afterwards, you shouldn't expect people who understand that 2 + 2 = 4 to raise banners in your name. If you don't believe what happened to you was that bad, why should anyone else.. ESPECIALLY when it comes to something like this where women are told to fight their desires? Like it or not, it tends to add up a certain way. I'm not saying for sure that she enjoys it, but I'm still not gonna take her little "predicament" seriously.. not while we have rape victims out there who are legitimately struggling.
Trusting men would be very difficult for you now... the second guy, he's a worry, as he had the whole thing pre-meditated...
I’m sorry
This is a very sad story. Go to the police.
confess to the police
nope. you can't get raped every year. the 1st time probably but each time after you could have stopped. its womens guilt, how many men have you had arrested?
File a police report