My Experiences With Being Promiscuous

[Anonymous]

The first thing to answer is yes I did come from a damaged home and I probably have lost some moral or emotions. I find it hard to make friends, I went to seven primary schools, and every time I made friends I couldn't exactly say by the way I'm being beaten by my mother or that I get starved or that there was various guys in and out the house. I couldn't say my biggest fear was, what I called the black men knocking on the door (they were guys in black suits, and from a poor family and the way they asked for money scared me - other words, debt collectors).

When I was eight dad gained custody of me and life was grand it took me a year to even start trusting another female, dad worked nights got home at 7am took me to school for 9am, slept and picked me up at 3:15pm and hung out with me then went to work for 11pm. So I guess I was extremely clingy for a time though the bond between us has never ceased.

I'm 18 finished my Alevels, had two boyfriends one for a month and the other for a week, he kept pushing me to have sex so I broke up with him as I wasn't ready (16 at the time).

I decided I wanted to go to university at another city three hours away. In hindsight it was this that messed me up more, I never realised how much I talked to my dad about problems, feelings, majority of the time he's my best friend and I definitely relied on him too much, probably still do and will for a while more.

I went to university, and didn't have the rock of home, I had to do more thinking myself and confided in my friends a bit more, or should I say new friends that I met at university. It was during this time that I thought what's the big deal with sex? And three months later fucked a guy, didn't feel anything good or bad, and didn’t hurt even though it was my first time. I didn't feel pleasure, I felt slight pressure then just numbness didn't feel him at all. I didn't do anything sexual for a year, other than a couple of kisses at clubs.

In year two I made other friends who were also of the promiscuous lifestyle and thought nothing of it tbh, although at the time I didn't want to go over ten guys. That year I slept with 3 guys, one was good I found out I was fairly kinky and it wasn't just fantasy, second physically hurt me and the third made me realise I wanted a friends with benefits or somewhat of a relationship. I loved sex and what it entails but I wanted it with someone I cared for. If only I stopped there :/

By year three, one of my previous housemates broke down my door scared and terrified me he had bloodshot eyes was on something and drunk as well. I messed up my exam and had to retake a year. And this was after being extremely paranoid of things being put in my food, rate poison in beds, stink bombs in my room (we didn't have locks).

I got persuaded to go on holiday and though it was a nice place, the actual time spent there was shit. I started smoking weed and each time I did I realised just how much of an illusion I was living. As in I saw the truth of my shitty friends and how much I was telling myself everything was alright. It was Christmas 2017 and I was also working alongside going to university, and could only go home for about eight days, when the last two years I spent about sixteen odd days back home.

In the next six months I slept with eight guys with six of them being in two months. As the year went on I was getting more depressed and the only time I noticed was when I was high. I was also not eating properly while doing a lot more exercise, so I lost a lot of weight and looked a lot sexier than I ever have been. I was getting so much more attention from guys, like wolf whistles as I walked down the street and getting chatted up on the street etc.

What messed me up was when I decided to have cocaine for the first time, and I knowingly got sucked into the trap of a married guy, I felt so sick to the stomach and it set me off to have sex with seven more guys. I couldn't stand myself for what I did, I know it takes two to tango, but the way I saw it: I wanted attention so so much that when he started saying how beautiful and sexy I looked, I couldn't resist him it brings me to tears even now. Months has passed, hell I moved back home so there's no possible chance of ever seeing him or anyone who knows him again.

The main reason though, was I found out I was pregnant and I don’t know call me selfish, point to prove, whatever. I'm going to be a great mum and do well for my child going to finish university, get a good job and maybe eventually I'll find a guy who would accept me.

I know, I made my bed and I'm going to sleep in it. I'm just not going to let myself be put down by others again and enjoy what life has given me, I'm only 21, almost 22 and I have much more fight then that in me.

The only thing is, if I do finally get into a relationship with a guy why would I ruin something I've always wanted by cheating? I would rather walk on shattered glass and climb through a maze of barbed wires (saw style), then ever do that to him, or myself for that matter.

[hellionthesagereborn]

Lets be clear, you will not be a good mother or wife, you will cheat IF, and let me reiterate this because I want it to be perfectly clear that this is not set in stone, but this will happen IF you do not fix yourself first. If the problem is not resolved you will continue doing it, plain and simple and the only way to fix that problem is to look inside yourself, in the deepest darkest and scariest places inside you and confront it but more importantly understand it. Then you train yourself to control it until it becomes natural. That is the only way you will avoid relapsing into this life style (and normally this would be something you should do for you, but with a child you now need to do it for your child because everything you do, everything you are will be incorporated by them into who they are). Please understand that this is a painful and grueling process, I know it is because I have done it (I was beaten and raped and starved by my mother and her boyfriend as well). Its possible to overcome but you need to not be casual with it, you need to not assume you will be fine, darkness is inside you and you need to conquer that before you can function like a healthy person again. I wish you luck in that, not every one is strong enough to make it through.

[myTake Owner]

What mad me fall so deep was the loss of my family, through moving and trying to replace that with friends who I found out to be were very toxic. I'm a bit different when I'm drunk but I also know my limits I know when I start feeling alcohol, to being tipsy and then being drunk then going to pissed off my rocker. I also have a feeling they have stolen 100s off of me and put things in my drinks.

[myTake Owner]

Now I'm home again there's no way of me falling like that again, I just need to work on myself a bit more to make sure I know what to do if I do feel lonely

[hellionthesagereborn]

Like I said, it cannot change if you do not change. Just because you feel safe does not mean you are safe, those issues, inner demons if you will, are lurking inside you waiting for a moments weakness. You can't give them that. It is good that your back home, that will give you an anchor, a bit of a foundation to stand on and cutting out toxic people is also good because your removing sources of temptation and suffering however its important not to get lax with it. their are plenty of people out their who believe they are good people, in fact I would wager almost every cheater, every body who has done wrong really thought they where a good person, the problem is they never confronted their own darkness, and so at that moment of weakness they failed the test. That's why its important for you to really dedicate yourself to this (and I know that is not your intention, its just something that bares repeating, never be to flippant with your own psyche it can cause a lot of trauma later on).

[hellionthesagereborn]

Again, its good that your figuring out what is leading you astray and away from the person you want to be, keep at it. and again, good luck I hope it works out for you.

[Maik567]

The biggest problem with this is that it shows how little self control you really have. Even in the end you say that you'd rather climb through barbed wires, etc, than cheat. Yet you still KNOWINGLY did shit with a married guy. And you have the nerve to make excuses like "I couldn't resist" or try to blame it on being lonely or depressed instead of taking responsibility for your actions and being such a shitty human being.

I sincerely hope you change for the sake of your child but I can't say I don't feel sorry for your kid to have to grow up without a father because of your irresponsible decisions, makes me question if you actually are fit to be a mother.

[PetrovaFire92]

I like your thoughts.

[myTake Owner]

I think the fact that I admitted I done it takes responsibility, I've always told myself that there were things I wouldn't do and getting involved with a married guy was one of them. I think about it all the time, I think back to when I used to say no and compare that to now and try to work out whats changed. I first year I said no to having sex outside, and to drugs. Hell drugs I've said no to since I was seven, always prided myself on if I didn't want to do it I won't do it.

[myTake Owner]

I know part of it was due to the coke I was high as fuck and it was my first time. I've had a few drinks. Then in the end I was thinking of him in a sexual way which is something I didn't understand, I've never thought of him in that way before. I mean the dude was way older than me and I was more interested in the guys around my age. Plus we see each other on a daily basis it would've made things awkward. So I know I've done stuff with a married guy, and I way trying to think of the why's it's not excuses, I've done it and there's no going back. And boy do I wish I was strong enough. But the past is the past shit happens, if you live in it long enough your life will waste away. I've stopped using drugs, stopped drinking, moved city, changed university, quit work.

[myTake Owner]

That is however taking responsibility, the fact that I could have so easily took an injection and nobody would have known, was the easy way out. And for a month I thought I was going to do it and all, just ignore it, it doesn't matter. But no I couldn't do it and I have to stand up for myself and do what I believe is right, rather than continue to focus on the past and destroy the person I am to a ball of hate and despair.

[Maik567]

The fact that you're still saying shit like "I couldn't resist" or "I wish I was strong enough" is proof that you aren't taking responsibility. Those are nothing but worthless excuses you make for yourself to justify being a disgusting human being. Not fucking a married guy has nothing to do with strength, you don't need to have incredible mental strength not to participate in cheating, all you have to do is be a good person. You told yourself you wouldn't get involved with married men nor do drugs, yet we both know what happened. I sincerely hope you have changed since then but you've showed yourself that you can't keep the promises you make to yourself, that is something incredibly hard to come back from. Yes the past is the past, but to call that "shit happens" is beyond ridiculous.

[Maik567]

I read some of your other replies and the thing that really gets me is you saying that "you've always found family values extremely important", yet you fucked 6 guys in two months, you cheated with a married man and now you're a single mother because of your irresponsibility. Which part of any of that goes along with "family values"? And I'm not saying all of this just to be hurtful, but it seems to me like you are extremely delusional about what you're really like as a person. Maybe you want to imagine yourself to be this decent girl who puts family values before anything else, or who would rather spend a night watching movies or playing uno or some shit rather than go partying. But actions speak louder than words and your actions have spoken for themselves.

[Maik567]

My point here is that if you want to actually change as a person the first step is to truly accept what kind of a person you have been so far, no excuses, no anything else. Think about how you can make sure that you're gonna have enough self control in the future that you won't let yourself even think about the excuses you've mentioned before. Because now you're responsible of another human being so you have to also be responsible of your own actions.

[AdorableLilo]

I understand you. I also had a number of bed partners. But my problem was i didn't like sex but still kept having it which made me miserable. My therapist helped me so well getting rid of my habit/addiction. Her and i were brainstorming, trying to figure out why i was that way. Her conclusion was that it had to do with my sexually assault when i was a kid.
Now i have a boyfriend whom i told my whole past and he (surprisingly) accepts me. And i'm really glad he does. I love him.
I believe you can find someone as well

[VIVANT]

I don’t see why you would cheat I don’t even see this as being aboit sex—You were just looking for a way to numb the pain be it sex or drugs it’s all chemical rush / release.

Hope you find someone you trust and I think you will be a wonderful mom bc you’ve been through a lot but have a loving parent so you can see both sides of the wired and will be wise and compassionate.

I wish you all the best 🌹

[myTake Owner]

I do hope so just need to stand up for myself and any criticism I will face in a reserved manner

[VIVANT]

You are string you will be fine- who will criticize you. It’s none of their business and how would they know your past?

[myTake Owner]

They won't know my past but they will see a young woman with a newborn and assume things, I get that sometimes from just being pregnant. Just been ignoring the few who do

[VIVANT]

Pfftcthats rrdiculous. Being young is the healthiest time for a woman to have a baby and you are fully an adult. It’s not like you are 14. If people look at you funny just think how absurd that is. You are in your physical prime and your baby is lucky. I wish I had young parents. My auntie was like my grandmother and had so many superstitions... You will be great. Look the world s full of assholes. We were all dropped here without our consent and some people didn’t get over that and feel entitled to be miserable out of resentment instead of trying to make the world better they make it worse. you don’t have the for these wasters and you should osy them no mind. Surround yourself with positive people who can appreciate you and even bette if they can relate. Can you find a supprt group for young moms with traumatic past? Most young moms have a story bc it’s nit so common in the west anymore — thiigh perfectly healthy. If you can maybe ask a counselor of such a group or look onlind

[VIVANT]

For information... I think this will be a frat boost to your morale. It will be like a little army of friends and can supprt each other. Also practice not caring about negativity. You don’t need to be bitter or cynical to become indifferent to nonsense. As humans We care about others opinions it helps us understand who we are and what we are aboit and some are important - but the ones trying to bring you down are opinions you do not need and serve no purpose. It gets easier and easier filtering out helpful vs not helpful opinions. I have a lot of faith you will be ok fir some reason thiigh I dk you. Part of the obvious you have Been through so much and still have passion for life. but three some quality I can’t put my finger on bjt I feel good you’ll be ok😊 Message If you like. 🍀

[VIVANT]

‘Great ‘boost to your morale not frat boost.. Of course, some typos are obvious but that couLF have been misconstrued 🙂

[VIVANT]

Could... typing on moving vehicles 😑

[myTake Owner]

Haha thanks, I'm not surprised about some of the males point of views but I am surprised about the females. I'm more shocked that although half think I shouldn't keep the baby which I think is fair enough, there's still loads of supportive people and comments. Yeah I'm thinking of perhaps going to a couple of anti natal classes to try and meet some other mums, I am also hoping to see if there's a single mum group in my area and try and make some new friends. It's a change in life but I welcome the change and it's hardships. Nothing gets better just because it takes hard work for something to become nice.

[Xoxocutekitty]

nice take. You've really changed in a short time. Keep it up. and tons of guys are going to have opinions on your body your past and heck even how you raise your baby. Unless they are going to be there for the the hard nights, the messy diapers, and the "Boring" parts of life, then he doesn't truly love all of you. Stay strong and you got this girl

[SweetgirlNS]

I came from a normal home and I’ve had sex with more people than I can count - honestly. Most were ONS or short term friends with benefits.

[TsubasaCorrupted]

Nothing wrong with that. Do what thou wilt

[Joves]

I despise people like you and don't support your actions. You sound like a straight up slut and I pity thee guy who would accept you as you will likely mess up affecting him more that you.

[myTake Owner]

Okay fair enough, but how would I mess up exactly? I've always been extremely family based and valued I rather stay at home then get pissed up every night. I own over 80 hard copies of video games and also about 300 movies also hard copies. I had sex with 12 guys 8 of which when I was extremely lonely no friends (except the toxic ones who were very manipulative and mean) and no family around. On top of that I was pretty depressed and felt like an absolute failure at everything. Out of the 12 I slept with only 4 of the times were actually any good, the rest were painful or awkward and one didn't remember as i was too drunk.

[naijagurl]

@Joves Wow that’s a bit harsh don’t you think?

[theshewolf]

Oh i bet your so fucking perfect huh? Get that stick out of your ass you slime ball

[Joves]

@naijagurl It is, I know it is, but it's my honest opinion screw it if it is unpopular, I won't take it back.

[Joves]

@theshewolf I don't sleep with 12 guys whom I don't have connections anymore and then expect that promiscuous lifestyle of mine to end with a coming baby who will most likely never meet his/her father, sue me.

[Joves]

You would mess up for example: -By getting a shitty guy -By getting someone who isn't that interest from the start -By eventually (and in your case almost inevitably) stop liking the guy -By cheating, you seem open to that -By going back to drugs (do I even have to go into detail about this?) -By I don't know, maybe any reason to why you are not with any of those 12 men currently?

[weysally]

being promiscuous is in my opinion only another word for being highly sexed, and maybe not being able to resist another person sexually

[Logorithim]

You're still young and have time to right the ship. Hope it works out for you.

[MaverickAngel]

a lot of really harsh views here. You are really young and you were a child when all this happened. You can easily turn your life around and start making the right (for you) choices. Find yourself first.. love will follow... All the best on this new journey of yours x

[Poppykate]

Wow, I really hope this is a troll!

[myTake Owner]

Umm no, this is my life, why is this a troll

[Riggers]

Gross.

[normalice]

Yeah, anything that obtains attention easily almost always ends in the attention being unsatisfying. For girls, sex is at the top of that list - with provocative clothing being a distant second.

So, my advice is to not have sex unless you want to get off. If you can't be a little bit selfish about the physical sensation, it's best to just avoid the hassle altogether.

But, there are many other ways to get attention. Sex is the easiest and least rewarding - but the more difficult a method is, the more rewarding the resulting attention is. That's where "talent" becomes a thing. Indeed, sex can be a talent as well, though it's rare for girls to have any interest (or need). Usually it's some form of art (painting, music, writing..) that gets the most rewarding attention, though..

[JimRSmith]

Very brave of you to write this.

It reinforces what I've constantly said on this website - promiscuity is tightly tied to depression and low self esteem.

I hope you get your life back on track.

[myTake Owner]

Thanks for not being mean about it, a lot of it was tied to who I hang around and losing my security blanket if you will, and now I've got that back I'm not sure if I can ever move out of this city. I remember crying from loniness and watching videos of my brother and sister cus I couldn't afford the £30 train ticket.

[myTake Owner]

And just sitting there staring at pictures of family while wishing I was still in my home town

[annaflorez838]

Interesting Take.

[Angelina25]

Interesting take

[passinby]

" I did come from a damaged home and I probably have lost some moral or emotions." welcome to the club. Well we have had a very similar set of experiences less the drugs and any kids I know of. You just have to work with what you are dealt at this point.

[myTake Owner]

It wasn't the best choices but I think it made me less able to see the manipulative traits of my friends, a couple of times I thought well that comment was a bit weird or something, but I never realised until it was too late and they were the only friends I had plus I was living with them and also had booked a holiday in four months time (which was in June)

[BrutallyHonest87]

I'm guessing your British?

You should join the British military. They'll fix you

[myTake Owner]

Honestly was thinking of joining, with a degree I could be an officer after 2 years and I've always been quite patriotic and was willing to do 2 years of training and 5 of service, but now I have a child in the mix I don't want to do it

[uravgguy]

You have definitely emerged to be strong and mature for sure. I'm sorry you had to go through these experiences though.

[Miristheiss]

Ok.
We all have our own problems to worry about.
You have your past.
You'd not be anyobe I woukd want as a wife.
I am sure soneone will.
I want my iwn kids... not some other guys kid.

[Celtero]

Why I'm kind of glad I'll never have sex... (at least for a long time.) It seems to be the underbelly of humanity, that which proves them to only be animals-or worse.

Men and women commit fidecide for 15 minutes of pleasure behind their 'partner's' backs, people abuse young children to bring their sick fantasies into reality, and people like you stuff all the sex they can into their proverbial gullet because because at your core you're empty and haven't a clue how to fix it.

And now another life is going to bear the consequence of your gluttony.

I suppose it doesn't have to be all bad... not like my parents were anything special. *spits*

Just make sure you be careful who you let around your kid, that's the important thing.

[ATuairiscean]

Everyone can change their life around and having a child could be the making of you. I hope you meet a good guy and settle down - Don't be held back by your past, think of your future - Good Luck

[Kayla45]

Interesting myTake you have there, nice read.

[SirRexington]

Promiscuity almost always brings pain and emotional numbness. Its dumb behavior i will never respect or condone and I wish you luck in the future. Hopefully you have learned from your previous decisions and make wiser ones in the future.

As for being a mum... I fear for the childs mental health and upbringing but I hope it goes well. I would say this is what you get, but it's not what a new child entering the world deserves so I won't say it.