Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
The first thing to answer is yes I did come from a damaged home and I probably have lost some moral or emotions. I find it hard to make friends, I went to seven primary schools, and every time I made friends I couldn't exactly say by the way I'm being beaten by my mother or that I get starved or that there was various guys in and out the house. I couldn't say my biggest fear was, what I called the black men knocking on the door (they were guys in black suits, and from a poor family and the way they asked for money scared me - other words, debt collectors).
When I was eight dad gained custody of me and life was grand it took me a year to even start trusting another female, dad worked nights got home at 7am took me to school for 9am, slept and picked me up at 3:15pm and hung out with me then went to work for 11pm. So I guess I was extremely clingy for a time though the bond between us has never ceased.
I'm 18 finished my Alevels, had two boyfriends one for a month and the other for a week, he kept pushing me to have sex so I broke up with him as I wasn't ready (16 at the time).
I decided I wanted to go to university at another city three hours away. In hindsight it was this that messed me up more, I never realised how much I talked to my dad about problems, feelings, majority of the time he's my best friend and I definitely relied on him too much, probably still do and will for a while more.
I went to university, and didn't have the rock of home, I had to do more thinking myself and confided in my friends a bit more, or should I say new friends that I met at university. It was during this time that I thought what's the big deal with sex? And three months later fucked a guy, didn't feel anything good or bad, and didn’t hurt even though it was my first time. I didn't feel pleasure, I felt slight pressure then just numbness didn't feel him at all. I didn't do anything sexual for a year, other than a couple of kisses at clubs.
In year two I made other friends who were also of the promiscuous lifestyle and thought nothing of it tbh, although at the time I didn't want to go over ten guys. That year I slept with 3 guys, one was good I found out I was fairly kinky and it wasn't just fantasy, second physically hurt me and the third made me realise I wanted a friends with benefits or somewhat of a relationship. I loved sex and what it entails but I wanted it with someone I cared for. If only I stopped there :/
By year three, one of my previous housemates broke down my door scared and terrified me he had bloodshot eyes was on something and drunk as well. I messed up my exam and had to retake a year. And this was after being extremely paranoid of things being put in my food, rate poison in beds, stink bombs in my room (we didn't have locks).
I got persuaded to go on holiday and though it was a nice place, the actual time spent there was shit. I started smoking weed and each time I did I realised just how much of an illusion I was living. As in I saw the truth of my shitty friends and how much I was telling myself everything was alright. It was Christmas 2017 and I was also working alongside going to university, and could only go home for about eight days, when the last two years I spent about sixteen odd days back home.
In the next six months I slept with eight guys with six of them being in two months. As the year went on I was getting more depressed and the only time I noticed was when I was high. I was also not eating properly while doing a lot more exercise, so I lost a lot of weight and looked a lot sexier than I ever have been. I was getting so much more attention from guys, like wolf whistles as I walked down the street and getting chatted up on the street etc.
What messed me up was when I decided to have cocaine for the first time, and I knowingly got sucked into the trap of a married guy, I felt so sick to the stomach and it set me off to have sex with seven more guys. I couldn't stand myself for what I did, I know it takes two to tango, but the way I saw it: I wanted attention so so much that when he started saying how beautiful and sexy I looked, I couldn't resist him it brings me to tears even now. Months has passed, hell I moved back home so there's no possible chance of ever seeing him or anyone who knows him again.
The main reason though, was I found out I was pregnant and I don’t know call me selfish, point to prove, whatever. I'm going to be a great mum and do well for my child going to finish university, get a good job and maybe eventually I'll find a guy who would accept me.
I know, I made my bed and I'm going to sleep in it. I'm just not going to let myself be put down by others again and enjoy what life has given me, I'm only 21, almost 22 and I have much more fight then that in me.
The only thing is, if I do finally get into a relationship with a guy why would I ruin something I've always wanted by cheating? I would rather walk on shattered glass and climb through a maze of barbed wires (saw style), then ever do that to him, or myself for that matter.
What Girls & Guys Said
22 54Great MyTake!
Interesting.
Well, promiscuity is always a symptom of deeper-lying problems. If you want to really be a mother and be an actual good mom - then SIT THE FUCK DOWN and look inside of you. Stop shying away from it. You are now not only responsible for yourself anymore, but also for someone else. Someone that will be unable to defend him-/herself.
Yeah I know, it was in response to your comment on the other take that I decided to write this, I know I'll bring her up a lot better than my mum did, and everyone who've ever seen me with kids has said I'll make a great mum. I'm just worried about the stats of single parenthold homes and whether she'll start believing it's her fault that her dad didn't want to stay. There's some great male role models in my family so not worried about that.
Ahhh, glad that I made you do that. Well, here is some personal advice from me for your situation (aside from working on improving on your issues): 1. If you date, don't let your kid know until it's serious. The in and out is worse and gives them a bad example. Doesn't mean you shouldn't date of course. 2. Create good male role models in your life. Family-members are a start. For boys something like what boy scouts used to be (before being gendered and stuff - nowadays you gotta search for alternatives) was a good adress as well. Eventually the male role model is what your potential son will look up to becoming himself and your daughter will look up to what to date. 3. Read about the differences between men and women. A good understanding of those will help you trying to at least somewhat balance your child-raising.
4. Be motherly, but also try to at least somewhat give some fatherliness to it. Challenge your kid slightly, allow it to take moderate risks and make mistakes, sometimes you have to give a little tough love, but also reward for doing well. All things that usually comes from the fathers side.
Yeah it was the why is being promiscuous frowned upon. For sure that's one thing I'm going to make sure of, nan was a bad role model in that from what I've seen if her when I was younger and the many stories my dad told of his upbringing with loads of random males around every few months and couldn't imagine doing that to her. I'm quite reasonable and I like the idea of parenting where you sit down and talk to the kid rather than shout at them all the time, don't get me wrong I will shout but there's a time and place. I know if there's rules to follow and you reinforce them then they will do it without complaint. As in don't just say don't jump on the sofa, but also that it will break and we want to buy a new one so the habit needs to be cured.
It's not going to be for awhile yet but how should I bring her up if I was chatting to someone. Like immediately or would the second date be a bit more appropriate?
I don't really have a child myself, but from my own observation it seems to be the best to have some middle ground. Discipline is as much of importance as freedom. Protection as much as giving your child chances to make mistakes. So I agree with talking to them is a good solution, but sometimes you gotta go a different approach.
Sorry that you had to experience this in your life. Hopefully, we all earn by our mistakes.
- - or even Learn by our mistakes- ;-)
This isn't about being promiscuous; it's about being depressed and abused. Is there a correlation? Yeah, but not a strong one.
I guess so but that is how it came about, I'm not apposed to one night stands, and I do love sex I think it can link amny different emotions together
I believe totally that promiscuous people are messed up somehow. I've met many, male and female, and they are not in the right mindset.
@GreatnessBack Observer bias. Very common, though. You only notice those promiscuous people who are also damaged, and thus conclude the two are linked. What you miss are the many who are promiscuous but NOT damaged, because they don't attract your attention.
The thing is I do not know a situation where promiscuity is not related to damage. Do you have any examples? Please, keep in mind, I find the occasional fling and ONS to be okay for single people, though I do find a relationship to be a better route.
@GreatnessBack Many, many examples. Some with relationships. some without. If you are in a sex-positive group, you meet a lot of them. Feel free to go through my answers and look for them, if you wish; I'm not going to repeat all those tales here.
That's sad I hope you have a wonderful healthy pregnancy and I hope things get better for you.
I can so relate with you, though I am a man, promiscuity and pornography has made my life difficult. I could not love myself or others. I will not go into all the details, enough to say I was 42 before I had a loving relationship. I f.. k and f.. k but never loved and was never loved. Life and people were only to be used. I was only happy with me, myself and I, I hated everything and everybody. Then one day I found love, true love, an everlasting love, a love I did not earn, a love I did not deserve, a love that loved me despite my past and shame. On that day, when I embraced this love, I learned to love myself and love others. Only after this was I able to become a husband and father. And since that day when I discovered love, life has been a joy. I hope you too will find the love you are looking for and need, and on that day you will be able to forgive yourself and love others as you too are loved.
If you message me I will tell you how I found true love
When I saw the title the first thing I thought you were a no good slut, but after reading this I thought a little differently. You still fit the definition of a slut though, sorry but that's how it is, but you were playing people, people were playing you. You didn't do this for your own selfish reasons, you did this because of your mental illness and shitty friends, and I know how shitty manipulative friends can be, trust me. About your future hopes, I wouldn't want to date someone with a high body count myself but that's just me, but I do hope you find someone who actually does love you and fixes your mental and emotional issues. But some advice you can choose to take or not but I recommend you do, if he asks about your sexual past, be honest and own up to your past mistakes. I know it sounds personal, but its best to bit the bullet sometimes, if you want a real relationship with him your going to have to be open and honest with him and not hide things. But if he never asks, then don't tell him, if he doesn't ask then he doesn't care. Again, you don't have to follow my advice, but I recommend it.
I won't lie but also not sure how much I'll share there's no need to go into complete detail, it's funny though I'd still inexperienced at sex, only had it 19 times and it's fair got a high count and as such I'm a slut. The only thing is, I wouldn't say I was playing anyone, I never lied, or was cheating on anyone, though i did help someone cheat :/ so can't stay on the moral highground.
Well yeah, some details are best left out, like the names of your past partners, but don't lie. Also, yeah, helping someone cheat is a cunt thing to do, but hopefully you wouldn't do that again.
Interesting take.
Good luck
You enjoyed your past life out of limits. Without sense.
And now you realised (not sure).
And when you have a baby, you became a mom, you need a man, who will eventually accept you?
Good point!
Hope the baby receives best and not grow up like u... Coz these day..., Well forget it.
Tc of baby.
Okay...
Good luck with being a parent.
That should never be done
What shouldn't? Being beaten and starved, being promiscuous, getting attacked by my supposedly friends, or becoming a mum
Being promiscuous
Being promiscuous is an character flaw tied to any number of behavioral problems. If not taken care of, not only will eat slowly eat you up inside you will never be truly happy is a long-term realtionship.
See this is where I'm either self delusional which could be possible I guess lol. But all I've wanted was a relationship, and the closest I had to it was two weeks with this guy who was 35 and tbh it's been one of the happier times I've had. We watched film's, had sex, went out and hung out talked about life experiences. It made me realise just how much I craved that and to come home to a guy I can chat to, have a laugh with, just be my ditzy self. I've always imagined myself with three kids and a loving guy, I didn't expect the first to be like this but hey ho, I'm taking all that life dishes out.
I don't really know what to take from this myTake or what the purpose of it was, but it was an interesting read nonetheless, and I wish you a happy and better future than what you've had to go through in the past!
Honestly only wrote it in relation of @VoteVoteVote take and @FakeName123 response since I did see some relation and even though I hate it some of the stats do fall into place
How would it feel, after such promiscuous life, to be with a guy who had only one, or never had a girl before you?
It would be different, I'll admit that and if I'm honest it'll probably be nice I may have been with 12 guys, that's only amounted to 19 times so I wouldn't actually say I'm experienced. I think there's a lot to learn in sex, and I like trying things out. However I would view it as weird cus I would wonder why you would want a gal like me, why not find a sweet gal who's also waiting for the one
Well, I believe in second chances, but when time comes will be biology who will answer and by now it looks its strong.
Thanks to your dad, you have education and can have a good relation, so, use it, and good luck.
And then everyone clapped.
Damn I wish I had the attention to read all of that
What do you want to know? and it's only a page of A4 that's less then most news stories and since this starts at age 6 till now it's going to be a little long