Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
The first thing to answer is yes I did come from a damaged home and I probably have lost some moral or emotions. I find it hard to make friends, I went to seven primary schools, and every time I made friends I couldn't exactly say by the way I'm being beaten by my mother or that I get starved or that there was various guys in and out the house. I couldn't say my biggest fear was, what I called the black men knocking on the door (they were guys in black suits, and from a poor family and the way they asked for money scared me - other words, debt collectors).
When I was eight dad gained custody of me and life was grand it took me a year to even start trusting another female, dad worked nights got home at 7am took me to school for 9am, slept and picked me up at 3:15pm and hung out with me then went to work for 11pm. So I guess I was extremely clingy for a time though the bond between us has never ceased.
I'm 18 finished my Alevels, had two boyfriends one for a month and the other for a week, he kept pushing me to have sex so I broke up with him as I wasn't ready (16 at the time).
I decided I wanted to go to university at another city three hours away. In hindsight it was this that messed me up more, I never realised how much I talked to my dad about problems, feelings, majority of the time he's my best friend and I definitely relied on him too much, probably still do and will for a while more.
I went to university, and didn't have the rock of home, I had to do more thinking myself and confided in my friends a bit more, or should I say new friends that I met at university. It was during this time that I thought what's the big deal with sex? And three months later fucked a guy, didn't feel anything good or bad, and didn’t hurt even though it was my first time. I didn't feel pleasure, I felt slight pressure then just numbness didn't feel him at all. I didn't do anything sexual for a year, other than a couple of kisses at clubs.
In year two I made other friends who were also of the promiscuous lifestyle and thought nothing of it tbh, although at the time I didn't want to go over ten guys. That year I slept with 3 guys, one was good I found out I was fairly kinky and it wasn't just fantasy, second physically hurt me and the third made me realise I wanted a friends with benefits or somewhat of a relationship. I loved sex and what it entails but I wanted it with someone I cared for. If only I stopped there :/
By year three, one of my previous housemates broke down my door scared and terrified me he had bloodshot eyes was on something and drunk as well. I messed up my exam and had to retake a year. And this was after being extremely paranoid of things being put in my food, rate poison in beds, stink bombs in my room (we didn't have locks).
I got persuaded to go on holiday and though it was a nice place, the actual time spent there was shit. I started smoking weed and each time I did I realised just how much of an illusion I was living. As in I saw the truth of my shitty friends and how much I was telling myself everything was alright. It was Christmas 2017 and I was also working alongside going to university, and could only go home for about eight days, when the last two years I spent about sixteen odd days back home.
In the next six months I slept with eight guys with six of them being in two months. As the year went on I was getting more depressed and the only time I noticed was when I was high. I was also not eating properly while doing a lot more exercise, so I lost a lot of weight and looked a lot sexier than I ever have been. I was getting so much more attention from guys, like wolf whistles as I walked down the street and getting chatted up on the street etc.
What messed me up was when I decided to have cocaine for the first time, and I knowingly got sucked into the trap of a married guy, I felt so sick to the stomach and it set me off to have sex with seven more guys. I couldn't stand myself for what I did, I know it takes two to tango, but the way I saw it: I wanted attention so so much that when he started saying how beautiful and sexy I looked, I couldn't resist him it brings me to tears even now. Months has passed, hell I moved back home so there's no possible chance of ever seeing him or anyone who knows him again.
The main reason though, was I found out I was pregnant and I don’t know call me selfish, point to prove, whatever. I'm going to be a great mum and do well for my child going to finish university, get a good job and maybe eventually I'll find a guy who would accept me.
I know, I made my bed and I'm going to sleep in it. I'm just not going to let myself be put down by others again and enjoy what life has given me, I'm only 21, almost 22 and I have much more fight then that in me.
The only thing is, if I do finally get into a relationship with a guy why would I ruin something I've always wanted by cheating? I would rather walk on shattered glass and climb through a maze of barbed wires (saw style), then ever do that to him, or myself for that matter.
What Girls & Guys Said
22 54That’s insane.
So sorry people are so judgmental. Like they live a perfect life. Get yourself help, keep you dad close. And don’t listen to those unempathetic assholes. The damaged is done, you can start moving forward. Fuck those assholes
I liked your recollection of your dad. It proves a point in MGTOW, that just because women are women, that doesn't make them the better parent and I know this because I took care of a 3 year old girl for 7 months and I treated her like a princess. As far as the father of your baby, I believe that you should at least let him know. Otherwise you are going to be raising a baby in a broken home without his or her dad.
The farther is guy I slept with Trying to forget about the married one, who I found out isn't single after sleeping with him and lied to me about it. He also denied ever being with me saying I was looking for attention and wanted to be a home wrecker, the two are still getting married and have a deposit for a house together. So no telling the guy who is the farther is a very bad idea. There is a chance that I wouldn't be able to live in the city I want to live in and then that I could lose the baby since my life isn't as stable as theirs.
The mum thing is a terrible idea. Your child will not have a good relationship with the father and caring for a child will distract you from getting onto a better path. Although you can say that your past influenced you, it was still you who made those mistakes. And trust me when I say this, no valuable guy will want anything to do with you if you have a kid. You may not like the sound of it, but when I see a super young mum, the only thing I can think of is her being a slut which resulted in the pregnancy, then the dad left and that is a shitty situation I want to get away from. The only men who will be willing to date a chick with a kid around your age will be beta cucks not real men that you would want. Therefore they will be people pleasers and will not satsify you sexually and yeah you'll probably end up cheating on them. For the sake of your child don't do this. Get an abortion. It sounds bad but it is a good thing under certain circumstances. If you have the kid, they will be a reminder of your sluttiness no matter how much you love them. But hey. At the end of the day, this is just my opinion. It's none of my business what you do and I'm simply having some fun on a website. Have fun.
Nice take. I like these kind of stories.
We all have our demons. Wish you the best.
Good take
Interesting
But people who enjoy single life shouldn’t need to go in relationship
Can't say I ever really enjoyed it, at first I just thought I was ugly and nobody I'd liked would like me, then I thought that I didn't deserve a relationship. Now I know I'm not ready but hope I'll find someone understanding
I’m in the same lifestyle , and trust me it’s impossible to get out because I enjoy it. Because of this now I will stay as is
Not really that is not a lot of sex for that period of time for that age at all
It's a lot of different guys, no I wouldn't consider myself being great at sex I've had it less then 20 times since I've lost my vcard. However most people would go on to say that there's something wrong with me as I haven't ever settled down.
Best of luck to you. Try to enjoy your life now.
Being promiscuous doesn't really mean you're a cheater to be and it doesn't take away your ability be a faithful partner.
Maybe... But that's not what the stats say according to loads of people
I hope you would find a right guy and forget about your past. There is never late to change and to become better.
Honestly I also wanted to sleep with a lot of different girls, but the morals did not let me. And then after relaxing and dealing with it by myself I always realized that this is just lust. I strongly believe that relationship between guy and girl should be moved by more than just lust. Hope you will experience a true mutual love. Good luck to you.
You've been with 20 guys?
Umm... It says 12: 1 in the first year, 3 in the second year and 8 in the third year
What about this part? "What messed me up was when I decided to have cocaine for the first time, and I knowingly got sucked into the trap of a married guy, I felt so sick to the stomach and it set me off to have sex with seven more guys."
Yeah that's the 8 in year 3 just in more detail i did that then just tried to forget it took a couple of months to get my head out of the hole I created but I'm now climbing out
Thank you
I don't agree with the last part. You just went around fucking everyone I assume (didn't read the take) so you're basically just a wild animal. You'll cheat.
Maybe... Read the take?
Awesome..
A muscular body, attractive guy is just nice looking as like nice painting or it is not something that attracts them. Because before forming emotional connection they can't feel attracted to muscular body, attractive guy even muscular body would not attract them until they get to know a guy. Then how someone become promiscous.
If your on about females not being lustful, then that's certainly not true, since I've known many girls who'd get into a bed of a guy they've just met. I've done it many times, and a lot of time the guy doesn't have a muscular body just a fatty body. Of the 12, I've only been with 3 who were muscular the rest were average with a couple below average as well who were more on the chubby side
Most women are like that
That was very sad. I hope it's alright now! I am a virgin and don't know how you feel but I believe that sometimes things happen. I hope you find a guy who actually accepts you for who you are. All the best! And if you would like to chat. Feel free to comment!
It is different for each person. I think we learn along the way.
You know who the real loser in this story is? Your child. He/she has no father the mother probably doesn't even know who he is. And he's/she's mostly going to have a very bad childhood it's hard enough to raise a child in single parent household (a child needs a a mother and a father). It's doubly hard when the mother doesn't even know who she is. And the reall sad part is you can't even put the blame on this woman's father because it sound like he was a really good parent. This was all her doing.
To me it's pretty clear if you meet "the right guy" you'll cheat on him. But don't worry most likely you won't even stay with him or even date him because you won't even know him when you see him. You won't even value him because one thing you repeated in your post over and over again. It's all about you isn't it. You might think i'm being mean but i'm saying this for your benefit. This is the 9th inning. This is the 4th qtr. You can still turn it around but first you have to take your head out of your A**. If not for you. Do it for your child.