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Reasons Why Some Women Have Rape Fantasies

Reasons Why Some Women Have Rape Fantasies

Reasons Why Some Women Have Rape Fantasies

Please note the title says "Some Women". Obviously this DOES NOT apply to all women, nor does this promote Sexual Assault of any Kind.

This Is an Outlet That Lets Them Think About ‘dirty’ Sex

Women have been taught that they’re sweet and nice and that ‘kinky’ is a word best used for men. Having a rape fantasy lets women explore the not-so-sweet version of sex without feeling dirty themselves, because the act is done to them not by them. This is why the fantasy "rapist" is very close to the fantasy hero – good-looking, desirable, and great in bed (50 Shades of Grey anyone?).

There’s a Fine Line Between Pain and Pleasure

Sex, in all its conventional and unconventional forms is rarely as smooth a ride as movies (and even porn) will have you believe. Danger and pain can get hearts racing, cause complete awareness and create a state of arousal. Women fantasizing about rape show openness to experiencing pain, though in a controlled manner and perhaps only limited to fantasy

Some Women Have Masochistic Tendencies

A masochist is a person who derives sexual and other pleasure by experiencing pain, humiliation and self-denial. Both men and women can have masochistic tendencies, where they need to experience a level of pain before they can feel any pleasure. A rape fantasy is a relatively safe way for a woman to give an outlet to her self-harm desires.

It’s a Kind of Sexual Blame Avoidance

Women are raised to be sexual ‘gatekeepers’; they are quite often told that sex is something men want from them and that they should not have sex till the man has given them something (a ring, a marriage certificate, etc). This makes women repress their natural biological instincts. Rape fantasies allow them to imagine passionate sexual encounters without feeling like they’re to blame for it.

Fantasy Rape is Nothing Like Real Rape

The reason why people find the idea of rape fantasy horrifying is because rape is a horrifying crime. However, a rape fantasy is nowhere close to the reality of rape. In the safety and comfort of her own space a woman can let her imagination run wild. Her "rapist" can be a very desirable and accomplished person (boyfriend/husband) and the fantasy can be more domination/rough sex than a violent crime.

It shows an openness to new sexual experiences

Many women who admitted to having rape fantasies also showed an interest in exploring sex beyond the missionary position. They showed a more open attitude towards sex and were more comfortable with their sexuality. It’s not like rape fantasies are the most dominant fantasies; they’re just part of the many fantasies that women have.

Many Women Who Fantasize about Rape also Fantasize about Dominating Men

Don’t assume that if a woman enjoys the occasional (or not-so-occasional) rape fantasy that all she wants to experience is domination by a man. In a study, many women who said they had rape fantasies also expressed a desire to dominate men in the bedroom. It may be a general leaning towards BDSM or a simple desire to dominate and be dominated, but most women don’t limit themselves to being dominated all the time…not even in fantasy.

RAPE FANTASIES PUT CONSENT INTO THE HANDS OF THE WOMAN

Let me repeat that.....RAPE FANTASIES PUT CONSENT INTO THE HANDS OF THE WOMAN!!!!!!

Sound weird? It isn’t. A rape fantasy will progress the way a woman wants it to. If she doesn’t like the idea of sex with lights on, it’ll take place in the dark, and if she wants to pick up the speed or slow it down, that’s how it’ll go. The woman will build the man, the setting, and the process of the fantasy exactly how she likes it – so it’s a fantasy where the "victim" has all the control.

So, to all those who think rape fantasies means that women want to get raped, no, they don’t. Sexual aggression against a woman (or a man) will always be the aggressor’s fault. It doesn’t matter what she wears, says or thinks, you can’t rape her. In case your girlfriend or wife is interested in ‘rape play’, do talk about what she’d be comfortable with, when she’d like it to happen and how far she’d like you to go before you decide to ‘surprise’ her with it.

If you don't agree with everything I've written that is okay.

Have a great day :)

10 5

Most Helpful Girl

  • Great take! I will say though that I really don't like the term "rape fantasy" as I feel it diminishes actual rape. I know people who have "rape fantasies" don't actually think it's in any way comparable to real rape but still, using that phrase just seems wrong.

    A rape fantasy just means you enjoy rough, dominating sex and the power struggle that comes with that type of relationship. Being overpowered can be a massive turn on for many women (when they consent, of course).

    I enjoy that type of sexual relationship myself. I get pleasure out of pain and I love resisting and then being overpowered. I love that my guy is so dominant and stronger than me. However, I never refer to that type of sex as a "rape fantasy" simply because I WANT it so clearly it's not "rape." There is also usually a discussion between both people before they actually do it to talk about limits and boundaries. I have limits and I trust my boyfriend so I know that he respects those limits and if I don't want it to go any further, I know that he will stop.

    People have the right to use the term "rape fantasy" if they want to, I just will never use it myself. To me, it just feels like a slap in the face to REAL victims of rape and sexual assault and it causes too much confusion. I've actually heard some people say, "If rape is bad, why do women have rape fantasies?" Which is obviously stupid but unfortunately there ARE people in the world who think that way.

    There's nothing wrong with enjoying that type of CONSENSUAL sex, I just feel like there's better and more accurate ways of describing it than "rape fantasy." Just my personal opinion. This was a well-written myTake though and I agree with the overall message. :)

    • I don't like the term either, but that's what people use. Thanks for the comment :)

Most Helpful Guy

  • I have no idea why is it called rape fantasy, an actual rape would go against everything you sexually desire, is a wrong definition that leads to wrong interpretations.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • first of all, there's no such thing as a "rape fantasy"; no mentally-sound person fantasizes about being raped.

    these people fantasize about being dominated, which is a very important difference. if you actually do fantasize about being raped, you have major issues.

    i like @godfatherfan 's response, because he hit the nail on the head.

  • I read a story once about someone whod been raped as a child, and in their adult life almost wished it could happen again just so they knew they were stronger and would, next time, fight.

    • That doesn't really strike me as a sexual fantasy.. more like a situational fantasy.

    • That is true. I was going to include that into the Take, but I thought it might have been to heavy.

  • some women think they have rape fantasies bc they do not understand the definition of rape and miss use the word rape.

  • We have to change the name.

  • I'm starting to become really wary of posts about 'what women want' that are written by men, and this is why. These posts show me the halfling version of women SOME MEN picture when they look at us.

    Men also seem to expose themselves to only the tiniest microcosm of female society (women between the ages of 20-25 who are white and have a waist size lower than 30 inches) and so they have no idea what most (or even many) women think or feel, nor do they care.

    There's no point in trying to decide that you know everything about "women" when you can't even see the majority of us as human beings.

    When you see us as people you should be advising or telling what to do.

    Women probably have rape fantasies because rape is treated in the media as something sexy and fun. The guys are always incredibly attractive frat boys or something "raping" a gorgeous actress. And you're thinking well shit, if three super ripped frat boys wanted to have sex with me I wouldn't be like no stahp.

    The REALITY of rape? You don't seem to be aware of it.

    1. Rape is a violent crime that carries a lower penalty than other violent crimes, because the courts like to pretend it's about sex.
    2. Any crime committed against a man has a higher penalty than crimes against women, even though we're supposedly persons under the law now.

    If we are people, then how come a man who punches someone in the face can get 20 years on a first offence, but if he punches me in the face while putting his penis inside of me, he gets 6 months?

    If you have no idea what being a woman is like, don't advise us.

    • What the hell are you talking about?

    • I second that emotion...

  • And if any of the women knew a woman that was raped, they should feel absolutely ashamed with themselves. not only did it destroy the woman's life, but it destroyed the man's life that she was with at the time. Since she didn't want anything to do with that man again. It is just sickening every time I hear someone talk about a rape fantasy. Shame on all of you women.

    • ITS A FANTASY. Do you watch movies with killings? Do you feel bad for innocent people who were murder in real life? No, so chill.

    • "not only did it destroy the woman's life, but it destroyed the man's life that she was with at the time. Since she didn't want anything to do with that man again." First of all, rapists should not have any sympathy. They forced them self onto another person, anything bad that happens to them is WELL deserved. The rape victim has EVERY right to not want to see, speak or mention that person ever again. Shame on you for making such a statement.

    • @lovelyhoneybones I am talking about the boyfriend or husband of the victim. NOT the rapist. What is wrong with you?

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  • Why not call it male dominating sex since it's not rape?

    • I agree.

  • I really appreciate this Take.
    I will come out and say I'm very fond of rape fantasies. But, i don't know if rape is the right word. More so, I enjoy mild humiliation and being dominated, made to do things I don't want to do within measure.
    Actual rape is nothing like my fantasies. Actual rape is horrible.
    Yet, in my head I can safely explore an otherwise taboo situation where I completely give myself to someone to do whatever they want with me.
    I feel like that was the whole reason 50 shades was a success despite the brain numbing piece of whatever it was. It allowed women to feel comfortable with these thoughts rather than disgusted and confused.

    • Thanks for reading and your response. I do think the term should be changed.

    • In the fantasy, he's still doing whatever you want him to do.

    • @FýrdracaDócincel True, but still something I wouldn't enjoy. It's hard to explain.

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  • "Fantasy Rape is Nothing Like Real Rape"

    Exactly! great my take.

  • I completely agree and thank you so much for saying that rape fantasy and actual rape aren't true. Nobody fantasizes being raped by unlcle or taxi driver or plumber, nor does anyone fantasize being tortured. One thing I definitely wish was, there would be some other word used for this fantasy because every time a girl gets raped, people blame the victim using this term and it's horrible. Also "rape fantasy" itself is wrong, how can someone fantasize something that they don't have consent for?

    Otherwise, this is a great writing. I agree with it 100%.

  • Wrong words to use if a woman desires rough sex.

    no means yes?

    An incest fantasy meaning its not suppose to be incest?

    Don't contradict the words you speak and some real rapists will seriously advantage of the rape fantasy as a real one and carry it through.

    This is an insult to those who are brutally raped without an reparation and reprieve.

    • A reparation

    • Rough sex does not necessarily associate with rape but in this case, you make it sound it is.

    • No it isn't. Then only way a guy would know of this fantasy, is if you tell him. And I'm sure you'll only tell a guy you fully trust. (Bf/husband) A fantasy does not insult anyone. Did you even read the Take?

  • i read about it a thousand times and i still think it shouldn't be called a "rape" fantasy

    • What should it be called?

    • whatever makes more sense. it doesn't matter how people try to explain it, they don't convince me. how others have said, seems like more of a domination fantasy.

    • I'm not trying to convince anyone. Its either you're into or not.

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  • "The reason why people find the idea of rape fantasy horrifying is because rape is a horrifying crime. However, a rape fantasy is nowhere close to the reality of rape. In the safety and comfort of her own space a woman can let her imagination run wild. Her "rapist" can be a very desirable and accomplished person (boyfriend/husband) and the fantasy can be more domination/rough sex than a violent crime.
    "
    Exactly! It's just the name (rape fantasy) wasn't a good guess that's why it freaks some people out
    I would rather just call it BDSM or rough sex (even tho BDSM is a little bit too much. Way more than just rough sex)

    • Thank you for your response. I don't think the the term would change, so its best we educate people on it. A lot of people are misguided.

  • Very accurate take on the many reasons for women's rape fantasies. It's not every woman's fantasy, but it is enjoyed by many more than we think.

  • Cuz women really desire to be sexually dominated. Ever watch lions do it? It's a biological response.

    Even the most ardent feminists will sometimes admit they like to be dominated in bed.

  • Haha. Women with rape kinks are a lot of fun.

  • It's called being dominated. Rape is non consensual.

  • This "rape fantasy" you are speaking of really does not deserve what it stands for.

    I like the idea of being forced to have sex with a lady that I love by her :) :>

  • Something that's always killed me about this is.. why do you fantasize about resisting if you wanted it?

    • The thrill.

    • Thrill of what?

    • The sex... Remember sex starts in the brain. This is a fantasy so it all begins in the brain. Its all mental.

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  • I tell you what I'm a bull of a man. If I need to smash your front door in or creep in a window then I'm game. I swear to God I would rock a woman's world with this. I look dangerous as fuck and I've got a voice from hell. I would love to do that to a woman. Balaclava and gloved up. She would be screaming the house down after 2 minutes.

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