Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I have a theory I have developed about how some (not all) sexual kinks are formed. That theory is: many times they are a survival mechanism.
The brain is an amazing thing. Take for example Disassociate Identity Disorder (formerly called multiple personality disorder). During regular, severe childhood abuse, the mind literally creates a new personality to shoulder that burden so the person can continue to live their life. Because how could a child live and function during these abusive episodes without having an escape.
I theorize the brain can have a similar reaction when forming a kink. Take these case studies for example
1. Small Penis Humiliation (SPH) Kink - A guy told me a story once of a time a girlfriend got him naked then locked him in her yard with a bunch of girls laughing at and making fun of the size of his penis. That obviously had the potential to be very damaging. It was very distressing to him at the time.
Now he is in a healthy relationship and he enjoys when his girlfriend masturbates him and talks about his small penis. I theorize this is because under normal circumstances, the man being the the center of a surprise penis humiliation party (pure evil in my opinion) would want to die. So the brain, the amazing organ it is instead turns the trauma into a sexual kink. Whereby now having his penis made fun of for the size in a sexual situation is a very exciting experience. While the initial event was very damaging, I see no problem with his caring girlfriend now indulging him.
2. Cheating Kink - I had another guy tell me about catching his first wife in the act of cheating. This in and of itself could for obvious reasons be a devastating discovery. And while he and his first wife are no longer together he does enjoy engsgong in “cheating” role plays with his second wife. A safe space, in my opinion, to explore the kink that was formed from the trauma.
3. Circumcision Kink - I know another guy who was strongly encouraged by his parents to get circumcised in the midst of puberty for religious reasons. He had been an early bloomer and mostly developed at the time leading to a very painful, traumatizing, scaring procedure which affected his sensation and function. He now enjoys talking about circumcisions on sites and forums and it has become a kink for him but I know deep down he wishes the procedure had never happened.
4. Penectomy Kink - this one I think seems to stem from a deep-rooted childhood trauma, often relating to a parent shaming or punishing a male child for masturbating or touching their penis (which is a very normal part of adolescence and body exploration by the way). I’m not even sure what the female equivalent would be, possibly vaginismus, but I am so very thankful my parents told me it was ok and just to go to my room. Could have been incredibly damaging otherwise. Examples:
- A parent threatening to cut their child’s penis off if he does not stop masturbating. (Don’t do this!)
- A parent telling a child they will go to hell for masturbating (their little mind thinks, subconsciously, the only way to stop for sure is cut it off).
- A parent making any other number of threats in attempt to thwart their child from the natural act of body exploration.
There you have it. My unofficial, unqualified kink theory (I only took one psychology class in college) but I am very fascinated with the human brain and unusual medical conditions. I saw a connection and had a theory and wanted to share it with all of you.
What are your thoughts and theories? Do you have a kink that developed from a trauma? A kink that developed another way? No kinks? I’d love to hear from you. Thanks for reading.
What Girls & Guys Said
11 43Mine developed through trauma and abused as a child and teen.
That goes along with my theory. I am sorry to hear about that. Do you mind sharing what your kinks are? You can pm me
of course, happy to share
Anything you are comfortable sharing I will listen 😊
I completely agree.
Can confirm that I have a few kinks from past experiences!
Ohhh, I have a kink...
SNUGGLING..
Hahah
What are your thoughts on a ddlg kink?
Good question! My knee jerk response would be maybe she felt unloved by her father or didn’t have a strong male role model in her life.
Thank you!
Any time!
I think all of these kinks are based on Stockholm Syndrome.
Not exactly lol
@loves2learn But that's pretty much what you said.
They aren’t based on Stockholm syndrome but you could argue the brain chemistry is similar to that.
Okay.
You never wanna know my kinks miss loves2learn 🤣
Actually you can say that i'm into everything as long as it's between me and my future wife only and no anal penetration for sure...
As much as you keep talking about breastfeeding, your going to give me a new kink 😂😂
Yeah I've heard that theory before, I think it's pretty common already. I also think it applies pretty well to some my kinks.
This really made me think about my kinks and I have no idea where they came from. Lol I enjoy your Take , very informative.
Fascinating post!, I'm into SPH now I've accepted my small size, and yes I experience some trauma in the past over comments and mockery about my size,,,
Also penectomy, used to have nightmares as a child about my penis becoming detached, as an adult I sometimes fantasise about it being sliced off in font of an audience,,,
As for cheating, that's a total turn on for me, just love the idea of my girlfriend seeing a younger, fitter guy with a big dick, and pretending not to notice the signs that she's having an affair,,,
I'm uncut and never thought much about circumcision, although thinking now it could be hot being forced to have it done, I'm in UK and most guys are uncut here, there is nothing cultural in my background that requires it,,,
My PM is open to you, and anyone else really, love to discuss this topic, I believe kinks are from either trauma or early sexual type experiences,,,
Cool! I’ve been thinking about this one for a while.
I very much agree with yoir theory and i have thought of the same in past when i was asked to abuse and humiliate and how violence is sexually turn on for some it definitely never felt normal
I think it can also happen based on early sexual situations. My girlfriend was the first girl I saw naked in a sexual way. Yet the first time we tried, she kept her panties on because it was during her period. Ever since then I have a panty fetish. I love seeing girls in different styles of panties. Also since she wasn't wearing a thong, I don't like thongs that much. I like if they cover all or part of the ass the most. I don't recall having this kink beforehand.
Yes! Sounds like that first sexual experience formed that kink for you!
For some it happens as young as elementary school (like a girl pinning a boy down). Others it happens later. :)
I think these are a kind of kink from bad experiences. I think the vast majority are not explained this way though.
I agree with you. Many can be explained other ways.
I don’t think all kinks come from negative embarrassment !!
I don’t either. That is why I said some (not all). Right now I think maybe 50/50.
See I have always taken the Small Penis Humiliation (SPH) Kink to be one of any attention from girls even humiliation is attention and better than none at all from girls...
I think it is deeper than that…
Although for some people there may be a correlation between the two things (trauma and a kink) I think this is a very shaming and pathologizing view of kinks and kink culture. I’m not sure it fits for everyone nor am I convinced it’s a helpful/healthy way to think about kinks. That being said I can clearly see the connections you’re drawing and understand why you might draw them. It would be interesting to study this further and better understand the connection between kinks and past traumatic or sexual history.
I love kinks involving feet
I think there's truth to this. Kinks do come form trauma and things that are "Taboo" . One of mine did come from childhood 'situations' , which I thought I would grow out off , but haven't.
Good Take. 👍👍
Thank you very much!
No problem.
what about "exhibitionists"?
Good question! Could be similar to the SPH kink. Maybe they were made to feel embarassed about their body at some point and now seek eternal validation through their exhibitionism kink?
I’m exhibitionist I thong it’s because I love my body shape and parts that I feel proud of it a lot. Because of pride I like to show.
@kelly6 that certainly could be another way kinks are formed! Maybe 50/50 trauma and pride?
True
HELP
Anyone have a pair of spare hand cuff keys
Ruh roh. I recommend a hair pin lol
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