Should you tell a guy you’re nervous before you have sex for the first time with him or is that weird?

Question

I’m not a virgin but every time I sleep with someone new I get super nervous that I almost don’t want to continue seeing them because it eventually leads to sex and I get so nervous. When I was younger I didn’t care at all but now I’m 27 and it’s crazy how nervous I get. I’ve been seeing someone and I know we will eventually sleep together soon so was wondering if it would be weird if I told him how nervous I am… he’s also 17 years older than me so I’m beyond nervous for a lot of reasons. Please help.

Bricealan · Answer

I'm nervous ! What's odd about that?

t-8900 · Answer

completely natural and alright.

Inexpensivefurniture · Answer

I would want my partner to tell me if they were nervous. Being nervous isn't bad, but it is helpful for your partner to know that's how you're feeling. I think you should tell him

TessCasie · Answer

Is he tryna pursue relationship with you? Or it’s just hook up?

jim009 · Answer

Talking about it helps, if they react negatively they are not a fit for you.

RealMarek · Answer

You should tell him so he can help you feel less nervous. Communication is very important when there are issues like this.

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

I've told girls pretty much exactly this before, and it always worked out better than saying nothing. Sex is about being in the moment, and that means owning whatever energy you're bringing into the bedroom at a given moment. If you admit to him you're nervous, most likely he'll seek to reassure you and help you relax. (If he doesn't, and just looks at you like you're weird, then he's welcome to masterbate to porn instead, and you can go find a guy who can accommodate your emotional needs).

Browneye57 · Answer

He's too old. It's not 'sleeping', it's sex or fucking.  What really is your problem?

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I would find it reassuring, like she either cares enough about me to worry about performance/appearance/smells/etc. or She is scared and then I'm gonna think she isn't the type to cheat or fuck casually. Either way it's a positive trait.

17 years is a big age gap though?

GhostMochi · Answer

It's okay to be nervous. Communicate your feelings to the person you are going to be sleeping with. Make sure they don't try to force you or pressure you into it. If they do, walk away. Only do things if you are comfortable.

Massageman · Answer

An honest chat beforehand should help things go better- ease jitters, explain expectations, etc.

es20490446e · Answer

Do it only when it feels comfortable.

LonewolfMeme · Answer

I know I’m going to tell my boyfriend if I am.

Fukaroo · Answer

Are you nervous about getting pregnant or catching a STD? If so that's completely normal. I wouldn't tell the guy right before you're about to have sex. That would mess up the vibe. Talk about it when you feel the time is right.

kitty71 · Answer

I went through the same thing and in my personal case telling the guy guy I was nervous and jumpy it backfired me caude the guy told me he did not enjoy having sex with me if I was jumpy or nervous cause I closed down.