Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I’m confused.
As a healthy, adult, female I understand I have a right to feel safe in no matter what I choose to do. Yet, is it really a “right” or just a privilege we’ve convinced ourselves is actually a “right” to have to take away from the dangers we face as females in today’s society? Then again, have females ever really been safe in whatever society or timeframe we’ve found ourselves living in? Even if we go as far back as the Bronze Age or Roman Era, were we really even safe then, greater or less than we are now?
For example: Sexual assault on college campuses. You pay to attend a university and you expect a certain level of security while you’re there. You don’t want to get shot or assaulted while there as a student within reason, but what constitutes reasonable assurances we’ll be safe while attending college or anywhere else for that matter, such as walking through a shopping mall.
Do we as females really understand the risks we take when we step outside the boundaries of our home? Do we really comprehend the dangers lurking beyond such protection and how our choices make those dangers worse or increase the chance something is going to happen to us if we allow ourselves to forget just how dangerous other people and for the most part, males are to us in association with their wants, desires, and sexual drives?
Let’s say I go to a college party and while there I choose to drink and become intoxicated to the point I can’t stand up or protect myself. In an ideal world, I should still be safe, because surely no male is going to come along and rape me or assault me. While as a female we are attractive to self-assured, dominant, males who are strong and powerful, we also want them to be sensitive, caring, kind, and remember that barring those exceptions to the rules, males are typically bigger, stronger, and faster than us girls.
Yet, realistically, I’m not safe because if I do become so intoxicated I can’t consent to any sexual activity or protect myself, I might be sexually assaulted by someone sticking their fingers or other foreign objects inside of me while I lay there unconscious, or I might just be sexually assaulted by being physically raped.
However, if this were to happen, do I share part of the blame of what happened to me because I chose to drink or does the male share all the blame because he should know, supposed to already know, he’s meant to be both the protector of the weaker, fairer, sex, such as myself while also being the aggressive to attract suitable sexual partners or mates to form a relationship with?
I could choose to isolate myself from all males, take up the ideals of the mythical Amazons and be so mistrusting of males we only use them for breeding purposes, but then that’s not really addressing the issue; more like ignoring the root cause here and putting a piece of tape over a hole in a Dam and hoping for the best without actually solving the problem.
Should a female be able to go and do whatever she wants without fear of being raped or sexually assaulted? Absolutely, I one hundred percent agree. Should males know not to sexually assault or rape a girl they find intoxicated or passed out, because the girl is unconscious and intoxicated and can’t actually consent to sex? Absolutely, I one hundred percent agree with this too.
Still, do I also feel, as a girl, we should also be mindful of our actions and not place ourselves in unreasonable risk by what we choose to do or decide to do like drink so much alcohol we’re unable to put up a defense against someone choosing to harm us? Yes I do. Absolutely I do. We should be responsible for our own safety first and foremost, as well as counting on the chivalry of guys around us not to be jerks, perverts, or rapists.
Yet, it still leaves me confused why, especially on college campuses, with the number of girls being sexually assaulted on campuses around the country and around the world, does members of my gender still whine and complain when they are sexually assaulted or raped after they’ve done drugs or consumed so much alcohol they can’t even stand up.
Where do we draw the line between being empowered, being assured we are the equal of any man and can do whatever we put our minds to do and can compete in a male dominated society and world, and then playing the “gender” card when we are hurt, assaulted, or raped, because we feel playing and being the victim is the only way for us to be heard or to achieve justice.
To use the analogy, if we swim with sharks, do we really have the “right” or privilege to complain when we’re attacked, or can woman only really compete with the “sharks” if we shame them so badly they stop being sharks altogether, and are gold-fish instead.
Maybe we should just stop doing drugs and getting drunk...
No longer confused---just angry at my own gender now.
The End.
Most Helpful Girl