In the short time that I've been on this site, I've seen this topic debated so many times. And there are so many different views when it comes to it. Which is to be expected. What I didn't expect to see, was so much ridicule and judgment towards those that aren't virgins. So I'm here to say my peace about the topic once and for all.
I am not a virgin. Let's just get that out of the way. I lost my virginity a month and a half before my 21st birthday. All but one of my friends lost their's before me. And guess what? I never judged them! Even though at that time, it was my plan to wait. Not necessarily for marriage, but until I was in a solid relationship. It never even crossed my mind to look down on them because they made a different choice from my own. That doesn't seem to be the case on here though.
I don't think that I've seen an argument on here from someone that has made the decision to wait until marriage, where they weren't being judgmental and condescending. I have no issues with virgins and people who are waiting until marriage. The issues arise when I'm told that I basically lack self control because I didn't wait. That's when it becomes a problem. And it's only on GaG that I run into these problems. I believe that that's because people on here tend to place virgins on pedastools. Which in turn, gives said virgins this holier than thou attitude and makes them think that it's ok to look down their nose at others. Not okay.
Again, I have no issues with virgins. I feel like they have every right to wait to have sex. For whatever reason. Be it a religious thing, a personal preference, whatever. However when it comes down to it, that decision doesn't make them better than anyone. And most (not all) of them seem to think that it does. They always use the excuse of having self control, self respect, morals and values as if people that have had sex are void of those things. Having sex doesn't make you a bad person! You can have self control and self respect and high morals and values and still have sex. And if someone tells you otherwise, they're lying.
Another thing I see a lot from virgins is this whole promiscuity thing. As if every person that decides to have sex before marriage goes around sleeping with everyone they come into contact with. I know plenty of people who chose not to wait, that have been in long-term relationships with the person the same person they lost their virginity to. In the 7 years that I haven't been a virgin I've had sex a whopping 3 times. THREE. In a 7 year range. And while I'm not happy with the circumstances surrounding the loss of my virginity, I don't think any less of myself because of it. I have plenty of self control and self respect. My morals and values are just as clear and just as strong as those of someone who may not have had sex yet.
The point of this is not to bash anyone. Like I said, I have no problems with virgins. If you've decided to wait, then more power to you. I respect your decision. I just want people to realize that having sex or not having it doesn't define who you are as a person. Stop thinking that it's ok to make these underhanded jabs at people because they've chosen a different path. We weren't created to be clones. Everyone is different. Everyone makes different choices. Self worth and respect, self control, morals and values...those aren't synonymous with sexual status and being a virgin. Non virgins can and do possess those things as well. So to all the virgins out there, please try to keep that in mind. You guys can come off as really offensive sometimes. And to all those that have had sex and have felt like you've been judged because of it, know that you aren't a bad person!
Later GaGers. Stay classy. And as always, thanks for reading.
Most Helpful Girl