Yep, it's that time again... Time for more sex... Jokes.... And according to my calendar, it's WETDAY...
If you don't have someone to get you wet the way you'd really like, at least can get your eyes wet 🤣
And just remember people,
It's a joke, not a dick. Don't take it so hard🤣🤣
*Become a better person**
-Make her pussy wet not her eyes
-Break her bed not her heart
-Play with her boobs not her feelings
-aaand eat your five a day!
5 things you can spread--
1. Butter
2. Nutella
3. Legs
4. STDs
5. Rumours
If you drink and drive, don't park. Accidents cause people.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because you put on the wrong sock this morning.
New Miley Cyrus DVD: 15$
Tub of Lube: 3$
XL Box of Tissues: 2$
The look of disgust on the cashier's face as you pay: Priceless
Sir, can i sit there? I'm pregnant.
Me: Hell Na, next time f*çk someone with a car.
The reason why women will never be the ones who propose:
as soon as they get on their knees, man starts unzipping.
My girlfriends dad asked me what I do.
Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
Dad: Hey son want to hear a joke?
Son: Yeah!
Dad: Pussy.
Son: I don't get it.
Dad: Exactly...
Robot Lie Detector:
A man buys a lie-detecting robot that slaps people who fib and tests it out at dinner. He asks his son, “Did you go to school today?” The son replies, “Yes,” and the robot slaps him. The sons says, “All right, I went to the movies.” The father asks, “What did you see?” and the son replies, “Toy Story 3.” The robot slaps him again, and the son says, “OK, OK! It was A*al G*ng Bang 3.” His father snorts and says, “When I was your age we didn’t know what porn was.” This time the robot slaps the father. The mother sputters in her coffee and retorts, “Ha! He’s your son, after all,” and the robot slaps her.
The longest relationship I've had was eleven days
and then she deflated
3 Skyscraper Workers
Three construction workers were sitting at the top of a very high building they were working on. the discussion moved to how manly each was. Roy stood up dropped his pants, and his penis fell 3 stories! “Let’s see you beat that boys!” yelled roy. At that, jim dropped his pants, and his penis fell down four stories! “Take that roy!” Said jim with a laugh. Then both jim and roy looked down the way at bob who was moving his hips and making all sorts of weird moves. “What in the hell are you doing bob?” asked roy. Bob replied, “dodgin traffic boys, dodgin traffic!”
And lastly people,....
How do you know you take GAG way too seriously?
When you are willing to "do anything" for superb opinion...
(Photo courtesy of @TCredo)
As always, hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading! 💜
"Brainsbeforebeauty"😘
Most Helpful Guys