Sexual Relationships
+1 y

What Will it Take for Male Victims of Sexual Abuse to be Taken Seriously?

This is a controversial issue that is rarely or never addressed. A lot people assume that men can't be raped due to ignorance and or stupidity. They assume an erection means he enjoys it. When the rape is discussed in public, people instantly assume "male perpetrator and female victim." They forget about female perpetrator and male victim, or male perpetrator and male victim.

What Will it Take for Male Victims of Sexual Abuse to be Taken Seriously?

If a man is raped by a woman he will get laughed at. However people still deny that, even if they know it's true. Those people that laugh at men probably know that men can get raped but they don't value men's rights. They value women's rights more than men's rights.

What Will it Take for Male Victims of Sexual Abuse to be Taken Seriously?

If a guy does make a report that he was was raped by a woman, he will either get laughed at, get his sexual orientation questioned, or get in trouble. Worst case scenario, he will suffer all three.

What Will it Take for Male Victims of Sexual Abuse to be Taken Seriously?

We currently hear stories of men groping women but when women grope men there is no outrage, we're is the outrage?! By this pathetic logic, we are suppose to like being touched just because we are men.

What Will it Take for Male Victims of Sexual Abuse to be Taken Seriously?

The CDC(center for disease control) states that more men are raped than the statistics say but men are afraid to come forward due to the reasons I stated above.

https://www.cnn.com/2013/10/09/living/chris-brown-female-on-male-rape/

What Will it Take for Male Victims of Sexual Abuse to be Taken Seriously?

"If you are erect, then you want to engage in sexual activity." Obviously people who say that just don't know how a man's body works. An erection can easily happen even from a gentle touch down there. Whenever a man goes to get his prostate checked by a doctor (digital rectal exam), he may experience a erection. Erections can be voluntary or involuntary.

What Will it Take for Male Victims of Sexual Abuse to be Taken Seriously?

"At least men don't get pregnant from rape." No, really? Of course men don't get pregnant but they do suffer mental trauma and can get a STD.To think one gender has it worse is just pathetic.

What Will it Take for Male Victims of Sexual Abuse to be Taken Seriously?

There are many ways women and men rape men. One is violence: a group of women and or men may restrain a man while one of those women or men performs sexual acts on him. Another one is drugging: a woman or man may drug a man's beverage and after he drinks it, he will be defenseless. Another one is psychological pressure: the woman or man may threaten to him by telling him "I'll tell everyone that you are gay." (No offense to gay people by the way) Another one is dominance: if the woman or man manages to overpower the man, this usually happens if the man is scared and doesn't know how to defend himself/doesn't have fighting skills.

What Will it Take for Male Victims of Sexual Abuse to be Taken Seriously?

I'm in appalled that so many people are oblivious to male sex abuse, or perhaps people don't care. Thankfully I've never suffered any kind of abuse but I still show sympathy to the men that have suffered any kind of abuse.

16 20

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm really glad someone did a take on this, I've addressed this issue myself. I don't understand people who scream for equality and then have the audacity to say: "Men can't get raped by women."

    Okay then by that logic women can't be child molesters, or same-sex rape isn't a thing if both parties are female. It's ridiculous and it makes no sense to me.

    • It's always the feminists that claim to be egalitarian but in reality they don't care about men's rights. They say they do but their actions speak louder than their words.

    • I've not met a legit feminist who didn't care for this kind of stuff, it's typically extremists who parade as feminists. I consider myself an egalitarian and have touched on men's issues before, and I've had people call me a woman hater for it. Lol.

    • I think that may be why a lot of women don't support men's rights, they are afraid of facing backlash from the misandrists. Good job on being an egalitarian though👍.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guy

  • I will never shame anyone for being abused or raped. Not a woman or a man.

    • 👍👍👍👍

    • It was a good mytake by the way, strong points.

    • Thank you.

    • Show All

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

28 38

  • Absolutely 100% agree. In fact, I am doing my graduate dissertation on this topic. (If there are any guys here who have been a victim of this and went to police, message me. Not only would I love to be someone you can talk to without fear of judgment, but if you wanted to contribute to research meant to begin to reform police practices regarding male sexual abuse victims, I could include you (name redacted, of course) if that was something you wanted).

    • I did not go to the police because of the response from a rape crisis hotline ("If it happened, and it didn't, no one will ever believe you anyway. Don't call back")

  • @RainbowFanGirl mention something very important.

    Like her, I too have seen careless and heartless comments from men who say things like how they wish they could get raped or sexually assaulted by a hot teacher, or how the victim should enjoy it, or the victim was lucky. And it's usually those comments who have the most thumbs up, earning a place as top comments. That there, lets you know the horrifying number of people who support comments or ideas of that nature.

    Now, when you compare how people treat a female victim of rape, notice women are outraged, and want justice for her, and pull together to support the victim. But as stated above, men will demean the situation and instead, praise the fact that the male victim got some "action". This isn't all men, but I've noticed the problem in this. So, there's a problem within the male community against it's own victims. Maybe the problem should start there. I'm not saying this is the sole problem, but it's one of the problems that should be addressed. When male rape victims or molestation questions are asked, I always get this vibe that the focus is toward women, and wanting women to show more support and attention. But it would really help out if men get in the streets like women are rally justice for rape, or continue to voice their opinions through conferences, blogs, even create support groups, etc.

    As far as being groped. This is clearly an unfortunate double standard that men will suffer from. I just saw a Facebook video of an attractive woman just going around grabbing men's crotches. While most of the men smiled, I wished one of them would have punched her in the jaw.

    • MRAs are the only group that stand up for men.

    • Then good, that's a start.

    • I agree.

    • Show All

  • I'm feminist.
    I'm all for support of men's issues
    but the problem I have is when girls talk about their issues eg. raper and guys say yeah men can be raped too
    like you cannot bring that issue to the same level as girls issue w rape
    I mean any rape is equally horrific but in real life women are raped constantly while maybe 5% of men are
    people don't get that it's not a competition, but we have more trouble stopping men to rape women than men being raped therefore women raping is far greater issue
    w men is mostly awarness of the fact that women can be as horrible as men and giving justice to guys that are raped
    while w women is mostly about preventing rape that happens everyday, far more alarming thing

    • So just because less men get raped it means it is less of an issue? i hope you are trolling or you are SICK.

    • @Holygirl01 if you can read I said rape is rape no matter who is raped as both issues need to be adressed the one w women is more alarming since it's more likely to happen and therefore in more need to be prevented

    • Opinion owner. What's wrong with adressing both issues at the same time , both men and women's?

    • Show All

  • What will it take?
    More outrage. More awareness raised. More men getting involved in standing up against this. Rallies, discussions, protests, websites, call centers, hotlines.
    Not too long ago, sexual abuse and rape against women was also considered "normal", expected. Especially when it was a husband doing it to his wife. It was just something she had to deal with, because "men are like that" and "men have urges" etc etc etc.
    Things only started to change when women took matters into their own hands and started standing up for themselves. So, men need to do the same. A lot of this stigma surrounding male victims of sexual abuse/harassment/rape etc comes from hypermasculinity, in which the male sexual drive is a key role. The idea that men always enjoy and want sex, no matter what. That men can't turn it down. That men will sleep with anyone if they get the chance. This is clearly a harmful thing, and something feminism is trying to abolish by getting people to change their views on these gender roles.
    The problem I see though, with some men who bring up male victims of sexual abuse and rape, is that they keep asking what feminism is doing for them. That feminism should do this and that. And while I agree that inclusive feminism should actively strive for getting male victims more help, the biggest responsibility does not rest on our shoulders. Instead of asking what feminism can do for you, you should ask yourself what *you* can do for *yourself*, and other men. Like you can't expect a movement to take care of you and extend a helping hand if you're not willing to put in the hard work required for raising awareness and making a change. Feminism, and women, can't speak for men and the problems men face. We as women don't experience the stuff men do, as men. Just like men can't speak for women, or experience the things women experience as women. In Swedish it means that you have "tolkningsföreträde", i. e. you get first dibs on interpreting and explaining the experiences you go through. Nobody else can do that for you.
    Anyway. Good take, it's sad that it's a much needed take too. But the main point still stands: if men want a change, men will have to actively participate in raising awareness and creating their own discussions for this. You don't do that by resentfully invading discussions about female victims of abuse, though. You create your own, make your own campaigns, try to get more people involved etc.

    • This is all pretty well-put, actually. I hope if this catches on and guys do actually start talking about it more or campaigning about it to a degree, we can quash the hyperfeminity that also leads to these stereotypes related to sex and how men act when something like male rape happens.

    • @NarsetReturns what is hyperfeminity?

    • @lumos I'd like to know that too.

    • Show All

  • Maybe it'd be a bigger thing and more people would get it if men didn't act so cavalier about sex and patronize someone who banged a hot chick. In any case my heart goes out to male rape victims.

    • What are you even saying.

    • Wait my mistake, I misread. No yeah, you're right to a degree, people do tend to do that (men and women, I would say). Though I get the feeling the patronising comes more from the fact that men are physically stronger than women, not so much that "dude, she's hot, why would you ever complain?" Though that obviously would be a problem if it WAS a hot chick doing the raping.

  • When rape in general is taken seriously. Just like calling a woman a slut, and that she deserved it, she's making it up, when all that stops. Just like men aren't taken seriously and get called weak. Same thing. When people stop calling them liars and cry babies. Truth is, with all rape victims, they speak up and get humiliated, as if being raped isn't dehumanizing enough. They ask what you were wearing and what you said to them, as if anything you could do justifies someone violating you. Please tell me, under what circumstance is it okay to touch someone sexually without their permission, or continuing if they revoke consent? When is that okay? They could be naked, doesn't mean you can penetrate them or touch them. Why don't people tell anyone they were raped? No one BELIEVES them. Truth is, women get raped more frequently, so you hear about it more. Anyone who sees how much they are ridiculed and insulted would NEVER speak up about what happened to them. So if that's how they treat women, why would a man want to speak up? In a male's situation, he also has the disadvantage of people saying he isn't man, and he should have loved it. Of course they don't talk about it. No one who has been raped, wants to talk about it. It's one the most traumatizing things that could ever happen to someone. So in general, if you take rape victims seriously, it would make a huge difference. Stop making victims feel like it's their fault, or that they should appreciate it. That way, people can speak up. It's not just rape that needs to stop, it's how we treat those who are victims. Also, teaching people NOT TO RAPE, not how to prevent getting rape, teaching people what consent actually is. No means no. Teach people that. There are a lot of things that need to happen. Meanwhile, raise more awareness. I'd like to hear more men (and women) speak up about male victims. I don't hear it a lot. It could be a conversation amongst men, that your masculinity is not at risk if you are raped and you speak up. A lot of guys (women too, I just find it more from men) say "I'd love a woman to rape me" and things like that. When a women speaks up about being raped, saying "well, men get raped too" does absolutely nothing. That makes it seem like they don't actually care about victims. Male victims are something that should be discussed anyway, not just when a woman speaks up. Also a think a lot of people forget about men raping men. It's pretty sad honestly. Running out of characters

    • There have been a few studies and the results have been shocking, and because they don't fit our beliefs they have been analyzed to death. Funding cut or just plain ignored.

  • the legal definition of rape needs to be changed, because as it is, there is no wording in it about it other than from a perspective of a vagina or anus being penetrated without consent, constituting rape...
    I do wonder how the wording could be posed to include the rape of a penis (man)? and what all could be included as rape? is it rape if a woman gave a hand job to a guy without his consent, or a BJ? if a woman just lightly touched it, could it be considered rape?
    what if there was no verbal consent, and he was a willing participant until the last few minutes and he decided he didn't want to continue, but she wouldn't stop... is that rape? apparently it is if the role is reversed and a woman decides she wants to call it rape at the last minute or after she has "gotten what she came for"...

    personally, I have trouble finding any scenario where a guy could say he was raped... (because of the legal definition), but there are many scenarios where it could be called sexual abuse or sexual assult... or maybe "genital/penis manipulation without consent"?

  • anyone who says men can't be raped is dumb. men and women are guilty of minimizing or laughing off male rape claims.

    i don't think it's that we don't value men, as much as a society we've become so aware that rape is an issue women deal with while men simply want sex all the time so they couldn't possibly be raped... the logic being. men want sex. so if a man has sex forced upon him he is still getting what he wants

    which is of course tragically wrong... i think a great example of this is when we hear about high school students being sexually abused by teachers. when the students are male the common reaction is, 'that's awesome' or 'what a lucky kid'. the notion being that teenagers want sex so what could be better than a teenage boy having sex with a woman regardless if it is truly consensual

    it will take time but through awareness of the issue and respect for people based on their human rights i think we can get to a point where sexual abuse is never not taken seriously

  • Men have to speak out about it. Who spoke out about women's suffrage? Women. Who spoke out about LGBT community's marriage rights? The LGBT community. Who spoke out against racial segregation? African Americans.

    Sorry, but most struggles and issues only come to light when its victims make it. Gotta help yourselves before anyone else can. That's just how people and society work.

    • Men do speak out but nobody cares. Why do you think Men's rights activisism is a movement? There are many Men's rights and anti misandry websites.

    • Websites don't do anything. Protests do and walks and charities and organizations.

    • Men do have protests but it doesn't do that much. There have been attempted charities but they lacked funding because people don't take men's rights seriously.

    • Show All

  • Excellent, excellent take. It really is a huge problem that is left by the wayside and needs to be addressed. I think the reason it is underreported and ignored is because of two particular male gender roles/asaumptions.

    The first is that men are thought of as being in the constant state of wanting sex in any way, shape, or form. If he doesn't to do the dirty 24/7, he's either girly or gay. It leads to the assumption that, "He must have wanted it anyway, so how is it rape?" It's an argument sometimes used against female victims, but it is assumed all the time with male victims.

    The second gender stereotype that is problematic is that men are supposed to be strong all the time, mentally and physically. He's supposed to be able to fend off any attack, especially if it's from a woman, and he can't share any of his emotional troubles, because that makes him weak. If he can't always do both, he's either girly or gay. I think this is why we see male rape being so underreported, because the man will be shamed for having been a victim.

    In the way we have broken stereotypes about women in recent decades, I hope that it occurs for men too.

  • Perhaps things would change if people stopped only using it as a means to attack feminists and actually cared about the issue itself?

    • It's not an issue, a man can't get raped by a woman, only by men. If a man physically enjoys the act and gets any physical pleasure from it then it can't be considered rape.

    • @Winrey700 That is not what rape means and pleasure is not the absence of mental or even physical trauma. I honestly feel disgusted by you right now.

    • A guy is not going to get, and keep erection, feel physical pleasure, or ejaculate from a woman or man he's not attracted to, so if a man physically enjoys it by climaxing then it's not rape. It's about the act not the situation.

    • Show All

  • What will it take? Nothing, because it'll never happen.

    You're male. That means you're expendable. Unless you're one of those top 2% socially/physically/financially, or a scumbag thug, you aren't even human. You're supposed to shut your mouth, show up for work, pay your taxes, bleed for 'your' cuntry when it calls, and wife up some single mother or post-Wall slag who's 'had her fun and is ready to settle down'. You were born shit, you are shit, and you will die shit.

    As long as you keep playing their game by their rules, anyway.

  • If a chick groped me like that in public, I'd knock her ass out.

    She would not forget that day.

    • I see a downvote, but if you grope a women, it's OK for her to slap you

    • @mikemx55 Haha I know right?

  • "You can't say no to a girl like me" it's something I have heard.

  • It is a problem and men need to become more vocal about it. Until victims get more vocal and tell their stories there isn't going to be much discussion or outrage about it. A lot of people don't get how it could even happen which is why the stories and situations are important to get out there.

    Being a victim sucks for both genders... people aren't quick to believe and cops and hospitals make the whole situation more traumatizing... currently it's harder for guys but it really doesn't get a whole lot easier. People like to say you asked for it anyway.
    Honest question though, rape kits are given to woman to look for damage & deposits, evidence of struggle and what not... how would we go about that with a guy unless he was raped anally? He said's, she said's don't tend to get far.

    • I had restraint marks, serious burns, contusions, and brusin. I have scars to this day 37 years later. And no one took me seriously.

  • Men, don't worry, I can help you. You have a woman trying to rape you? You have a woman trying to force herself on you when you don't want it? Call me, I'm your buddy, I'm your guy. There's not a woman I can't physically trash in like two minutes, and if she's trying to take your princely innocence away from you when you don't wanna give it to her? I'll be your knight. I'll be your crusader.

    Call on me.

    • I'll also be your king, and I'll start a kingdom where men no longer have to worry about female-on-male rape tyranny.

    • We have to fight in duel to see who will punish the evil girl ;). I am a knight too with big sword to fight evil girls raping our innocent boys, justice should come

  • What will it take for this to be taken seriously?
    Multiple things.
    1-Complete and utter public demoralization of feminism.
    2-Rise of egalitarian movements that are able to stop addressing everything in such a one-sided manner, and that have absolutely no ideological connections.
    3-Decades of awareness campaigns, at least.
    4-The end of/Change in laws that treat women as the victims of society while men's problems are ignored.

  • I understand where you're coming from and my heart goes out to anyone who's suffered from sexual abuse, but I think a lot of it has to do with the attitude men themselves have towards it.
    We've had an incident lately at my school where a female teacher has been arrested and charged with the intent to sleep with an underage male student, and there were like, 4 guys on my bus joking about how they wouldn't mind for that to happen to them at all.

    • @Luci92 The thing is, the attitude isn't based in complete fantasy, or anything. I'd never make fun of a dude who was forced into having sex with a girl, but I would say a good 7 or 8 times out of 10, there is no reason why a man can't just straight up physically overpower the mouth or something, if she attempted that and he REALLY didn't want her to do it. Obviously I'm not a monster, I acknowledge that it DOES happen, I remember reading one particularly gruesome case that I won't go into, but it's a rather situational occurrence, let's be completely real. I'd say this is the one problem where women SHOULD get the limelight, for the most part. Now, male-on-MALE rape, THAT is a different story. THAT probably requires a lot more awareness and looking into.

    • Physically overpower the woman*, sorry I typed "punch her in the mouth" originally but didn't want it to seem too specific, but forgot to get rid of the word.

    • @RexCatholicissimus fair enough

    • Show All

  • I had sexual feelings towards girls from a very young age. I can't imagine any time in my childhood that I would have not enjoyed a girl, or even a grown woman, performing sexual acts with me. I actually did have that happen at a young age -- a grown woman had sex with me. To be honest it is a good memory. I have to be honest.

    Many years ago it was a right of passage to take an adolescent boy to an adult prostitute to get his first experience in sex. I'm not so sure that's a good idea, and in this day and age it would be not only illegal, but dangerous and sick. But I think there has always been a recognition that boys were generally better able to handle a heterosexual sex experience at a younger age then girls. To some extent I think that is still part of the culture. That may be why, as you noted, you don't often hear this kind of sexual activity discussed... it's usually about abuse by adult men on young girls or boys. There is definitely a double standard whether there is a justifiable basis for it or not.

    As for men? I think that any kind of sex between CONSENTING ADULTS in the PRIVACY of their own property is their right and I'm fine with it. But I've always thought that men performing sexual acts with other men is disgusting and sickening. It makes me nauseous to think about. If a man had done that to me when I was a child, I'd be so outraged I'd probably want to seek him out as an adult and kill him. So yes, in my own personal life, I had a double standard.

    I want to be clear that I am not condoning any kind of sex between adults and children of any kind. I think it's terrible because some (maybe most) children will be scarred for life from such an experience and children are not ready for sex. I just wanted to state my honest views and understand they may differ from others' views.

    • In your example, you enjoyed it, and wanted it to happen. Still a crime, but you wanted it. In the cases that OP says, is when violence is used, or the man is underpowered. Imagine a grown Big woman dominating a younger man. Imagine that the woman is carrying a weapon (knife/gun), depending on the situation, there isn't much the man can do. Also, this is imagining a situation that you don't want to happen, because let's face it, you're not attracted to every girl out there that will physically dominate you. Of course this depends on the place it happens, but the guy may be trapped, or drugged/drunk. I think that as soon as violence is used, any man would no longer want it, especially cause they wouldn't treat you with care. They'd probably leave marks and bruises down there at that point. Also if you sort of fail to perform, there is the risk that they will attack you because of it.

    • I know I pictured quite a rough situation, but it's not rare that you hear on the news that some woman chopped a penis off. And it's usually someone close to them.

    • @mikemx55 Yes, of course. Any kind of sex that isn't consensual is a terrible thing regardless of whether the victim is a man or a woman. And sex between an adult and a child is also a terrible thing whether consensual or not. I think that the overwhelming majority of sexual assaults either on other adults or on children on are committed by men and that a violent sexual assault by a woman on either adults or children is rare. But that doesn't mean that the victim of such an assault by a woman is any less hurt. In fact, because of the rarity and the possible feelings of shame that a male victim might feel, it may even be worse.

    • Show All

  • The universe is already manipulated that the more you have sex with different people the better score you get the cooler you are. So in my opinion if a woman rapes a man, it's not raping, it's sex. The sex stories have washed people's brains and made it acceptable. ''Men can't be raped'' well ! It happened, but how did it go? does people see the truth? People have some really crazy mentality towards sex and it's out of control. It's all over the world ''men think of sex so many times a minute'' , ''men are monsters'' , ''how to be a player'', ''how to get laid'' and so on.

    • Actually it is raping but of course white knights and feminists think otherwise.

    • that's what i meant to say. People will not see it as raping, they will see it the person got lucky. Of course it's rape.

    • Exactly.

    • Show All
  • Show More (46)
Home >  Sexual Relationships  > What Will it Take for Male Victims of Sexual Abuse to be Taken Seriously?